Penname: Speaker to Customers [Contact]
Real name: Paul
Membership status: Member
Member since: July 29, 2011
Website:
Beta-reader: No
Real name: Paul
Membership status: Member
Member since: July 29, 2011
Website:
Beta-reader: No
I'm curiouswombat's husband.
Favorite Series
[1]
Stories by Speaker to Customers
Title: The Dark Companion by Speaker to Customers
Rated: Mature [Reviews - 15]
Rated: Mature [Reviews - 15]
Summary: Cierre, Ranger of Faerûn, is transported to Middle Earth and meets Aragorn at Amon Hen. She wins a place in the Fellowship and tries to help; unfortunately she's a Drow and her black skin inspires fear and hatred in everyone they meet. But it's when she befriends Éowyn that things really start to go wrong...
Category: Fiction
Characters: Amrothos, Aragorn, Boromir, Elladan, Elrohir, Éomer, Éowyn, Erchirion, Erkenbrand, Gamling, Gandalf, Gimli, Gríma Wormtongue, Halbarad, Imrahil, Legolas, Lothiriel, Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck, OFC, OMC, Orc, Peregrin "Pippin" Took, Saruman, Theoden, Uruk-Hai
Content: Action/Adventure, Character Death, Crossover, Het
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 11 | Completed: No | Word count: 148406 | Read count: 44709
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Published: April 19, 2012 | Updated: September 06, 2018
Category: Fiction
Characters: Amrothos, Aragorn, Boromir, Elladan, Elrohir, Éomer, Éowyn, Erchirion, Erkenbrand, Gamling, Gandalf, Gimli, Gríma Wormtongue, Halbarad, Imrahil, Legolas, Lothiriel, Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck, OFC, OMC, Orc, Peregrin "Pippin" Took, Saruman, Theoden, Uruk-Hai
Content: Action/Adventure, Character Death, Crossover, Het
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 11 | Completed: No | Word count: 148406 | Read count: 44709
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Published: April 19, 2012 | Updated: September 06, 2018
Title: The Book of Lost Trains by Speaker to Customers
Rated: General Audiences [Reviews - 4]
Rated: General Audiences [Reviews - 4]
Summary: LotR as it would have been if written by the Rev. W. Awdry (creator of Thomas the Tank Engine); the oddest crossover ever. 2 x 200-word double drabbles and a 100-word drabble.
Category: Fiction
Characters: Aragorn, Balrog, Frodo, Galadriel, Gandalf, Gimli, Gollum/Sméagol, Legolas, Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck, Samwise "Sam" Gamgee, Sauron
Content: Crossover, Drabble, Het, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 3 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 509 | Read count: 4236
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Published: November 21, 2012 | Updated: November 21, 2012
Category: Fiction
Characters: Aragorn, Balrog, Frodo, Galadriel, Gandalf, Gimli, Gollum/Sméagol, Legolas, Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck, Samwise "Sam" Gamgee, Sauron
Content: Crossover, Drabble, Het, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 3 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 509 | Read count: 4236
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Published: November 21, 2012 | Updated: November 21, 2012
Title: What Cierre Did Next by Speaker to Customers
Rated: Mature [Reviews - 1]
Rated: Mature [Reviews - 1]
Summary: Drabble postscript to Les Morts Dansant giving a glimpse of Cierre's activities in the Undying Lands.
Category: Fiction
Characters: Elladan, Elrohir, OFC
Content: Crossover, Drabble, Het, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: Les Morts Dansant
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 103 | Read count: 1683
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Published: November 03, 2012 | Updated: November 03, 2012
Category: Fiction
Characters: Elladan, Elrohir, OFC
Content: Crossover, Drabble, Het, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: Les Morts Dansant
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 103 | Read count: 1683
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Published: November 03, 2012 | Updated: November 03, 2012
Title: Les Morts Dansant by Speaker to Customers
Rated: Mature [Reviews - 7]
Rated: Mature [Reviews - 7]
Summary: Crossover with the Forgotten Realms. Loth
Category: Fiction
Characters: Amrothos, Éomer, Erchirion, Gimli, Imrahil, Legolas, Lothiriel, OFC, OMC
Content: Action/Adventure, Angst, Crossover, Drama, Het, Romance
Challenge: None
Series: Les Morts Dansant
Chapters: 5 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 44005 | Read count: 11293
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Published: August 26, 2011 | Updated: October 29, 2012
Category: Fiction
Characters: Amrothos, Éomer, Erchirion, Gimli, Imrahil, Legolas, Lothiriel, OFC, OMC
Content: Action/Adventure, Angst, Crossover, Drama, Het, Romance
Challenge: None
Series: Les Morts Dansant
Chapters: 5 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 44005 | Read count: 11293
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Published: August 26, 2011 | Updated: October 29, 2012
Title: Ent Music by Speaker to Customers
Rated: General Audiences [Reviews - 2]
Rated: General Audiences [Reviews - 2]
Summary: A drabble series inspired by a spelling mistake, or typo, encountered recently by curiouswombat. Merry and Pippin meet one of Treebeard's more surprising allies - and then find that allies can come with unwelcome baggage.
Category: Fiction
Characters: Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck, Peregrin "Pippin" Took, Treebeard/Fangorn
Content: Crossover, Drabble, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 4 | Completed: No | Word count: 408 | Read count: 4289
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Published: September 18, 2012 | Updated: September 20, 2012
Category: Fiction
Characters: Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck, Peregrin "Pippin" Took, Treebeard/Fangorn
Content: Crossover, Drabble, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 4 | Completed: No | Word count: 408 | Read count: 4289
[Report This]
Published: September 18, 2012 | Updated: September 20, 2012
Title: Same as the old boss... by Speaker to Customers
Rated: General Audiences [Reviews - 5]
Rated: General Audiences [Reviews - 5]
Summary: Sometimes getting powerful help on your quest really isn't a good idea. When a hero from another world turns up at the Council of Elrond, and volunteers to take the Ring to Mount Doom, it backfires horribly...
Category: Fiction
Characters: Aragorn, Boromir, Frodo, Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas
Content: Crossover, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 414 | Read count: 2395
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Published: May 23, 2012 | Updated: May 23, 2012
Category: Fiction
Characters: Aragorn, Boromir, Frodo, Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas
Content: Crossover, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 414 | Read count: 2395
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Published: May 23, 2012 | Updated: May 23, 2012
Title: When you've got to go... by Speaker to Customers
Rated: Teen [Reviews - 7]
Rated: Teen [Reviews - 7]
Summary: Drabble. A pair of Mary-Sue 10th & 11th Walkers encounter the practical necessities Tolkien and Jackson omitted from the books and the movie. Inspired by Ellyn's review of 'The Dark Companion'.
Category: Fiction
Characters: Aragorn, Halbarad, OFC
Content: Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 103 | Read count: 2038
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Published: May 13, 2012 | Updated: May 13, 2012
Category: Fiction
Characters: Aragorn, Halbarad, OFC
Content: Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 103 | Read count: 2038
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Published: May 13, 2012 | Updated: May 13, 2012
Title: If Peter Jackson did crossovers... by Speaker to Customers
Rated: General Audiences [Reviews - 6]
Rated: General Audiences [Reviews - 6]
Summary: A drabble about what might have happened in the movie if Peter Jackson had decided to kill two birds with one stone. Perhaps the shortest 'Tenth Walker' story ever written.
Category: Fiction
Characters: Aragorn, Celeborn, Elrond, Éowyn, Gandalf
Content: Crossover, Drabble, Gen, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 105 | Read count: 2478
[Report This]
Published: August 16, 2011 | Updated: August 16, 2011
Category: Fiction
Characters: Aragorn, Celeborn, Elrond, Éowyn, Gandalf
Content: Crossover, Drabble, Gen, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 105 | Read count: 2478
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Published: August 16, 2011 | Updated: August 16, 2011
Title: Two and a Half Drabbles by Speaker to Customers
Rated: Mature [Reviews - 2]
Rated: Mature [Reviews - 2]
Summary: Two 100-word drabbles, and a 50-word half-drabble, written by a self-confessed Gimli/Galadriel shipper with an odd sense of humour.
Category: Fiction
Characters: Galadriel, Gimli, Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck
Content: Drabble, Het, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 3 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 255 | Read count: 7029
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Published: August 09, 2011 | Updated: August 09, 2011
Category: Fiction
Characters: Galadriel, Gimli, Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck
Content: Drabble, Het, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 3 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 255 | Read count: 7029
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Published: August 09, 2011 | Updated: August 09, 2011
Title: The Rings At Pooh Corner by Speaker to Customers
Rated: Mature [Reviews - 7]
Rated: Mature [Reviews - 7]
Summary: A crossover between The Lord of the Rings, the Winnie the Pooh stories of A A Milne, and Twilight; inspired by the purchase of Lotrfanfiction.com by Keith Mander. The Council of Elrond select a Tenth Walker to accompany the Fellowship - Edward Bear of the Beornings, known to all as Winnie the Pooh. Told in the form of twelve 100-word drabbles.
Definitely not to be taken seriously. Warning; as anyone who knows me from elsewhere will be aware, I'm a Gimli/Galadriel shipper.
Category: Fiction
Characters: Aragorn, Elrond, Éomer, Galadriel, Gimli, Imrahil, Legolas, Lothiriel, Saruman, Theoden
Content: Crossover, Drabble, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 1312 | Read count: 4966
[Report This]
Published: July 29, 2011 | Updated: July 29, 2011
Definitely not to be taken seriously. Warning; as anyone who knows me from elsewhere will be aware, I'm a Gimli/Galadriel shipper.
Category: Fiction
Characters: Aragorn, Elrond, Éomer, Galadriel, Gimli, Imrahil, Legolas, Lothiriel, Saruman, Theoden
Content: Crossover, Drabble, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 1312 | Read count: 4966
[Report This]
Published: July 29, 2011 | Updated: July 29, 2011