Membership status: Member
Member since: July 04, 2011
Ultimately, I would like to write romantic fiction, so I am using fanfic as a spring board into that!
If any one has suggestions on how to become a better writer i would appreciate the feed back, as i am slightly unsure of how my words come across. And I will gladly respond to everyone!
I sorta like to fill in the blanks in some of Tolkien's characters. Like Lothiriel or now I am thinking about why Boromir and Theodred were 41 and both not married... seems not to make sense so I want to fix it!! LOL!
I have a lot of time to think so my imagination wanders, and fiction is all about asking what if!
I want to put my characters in positions that will make them act irrationally. Conflict between characters makes the story better! I don't want to read a story where two people fall in love and everything is easy. 'Cause love ain't easy!!
I'm not a real huge fan of Elves... I like men. Barbarians, in particular. Fuck Prince Charming, eh?
I'm not a kid, i'm older, so i think i have good perspective. Although i can be serious, i try not to take myself too seriously!
I'll probably never be as prolific as a Nora Roberts or as descripitve or philosphical as Diana Gabaldon, but I don't want to write Formula Romance like Julie Garwood. It's like reading the same story over and over. Yuck. Think outside the box.
I believe there is a big difference between being a writer and a storyteller. Writer's do methodical stuff like non fiction and journalism. Story tellers tell tales of the lives of people and events that shape lives.
Do the best job you can and try your hardest when you write. Take your work seriously but remember not to take yourself too seriously. People, Middle earth is not a real place!
Just a quick note on the Assassin's Creed:
If you're reading this and expect Eomer to be like Edward Cullen, stop reading now. If you're under 25 yrs old, understand that not all men are Prince Charming. Men can be rude, selfish, and cold even to people they care deeply about. My Eomer can be a jerk, and an ass. He'll sleep with who he wants when he wants and not apologize for it.
Rated: General Audiences [Reviews - 2]
Characters: Éomer, Éowyn
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 767 | Read count: 1761
Published: July 03, 2011 | Updated: July 03, 2011
Date: July 05, 2011 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
LoL! This was very nice and very cute! I enjoy reading this kind of short, non angnsty stuff. For as short as this is, you get real feeling for the characters and their personalities, can see them as the people they will become. I get a kick out of the Eomer/Eowyn relationship. I always wondered if Eomer might have been a sexist (dude is obviously an alpha male), with the exception of his sister. He seems sort of oblivious to her love for Aragorn. Maybe he saw her as one of the guys, or maybe he didn't understand her as well as he thought he did.
This is nicely written and I especially like the first and last paragraphs.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review! :)
Rated: Mature [Reviews - 2]
Characters: Peregrin "Pippin" Took
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 4127 | Read count: 1749
Published: July 10, 2011 | Updated: July 10, 2011
Date: July 10, 2011 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
HA! This is pretty funny!
Author's Response: Thanks much. Pippin's fun to work with.
Rated: Explicit [Reviews - 108]
Content: Explicit Sex, Het, Romance
Chapters: 72 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 294962 | Read count: 136342
Published: July 11, 2011 | Updated: June 22, 2012
Date: August 03, 2011 Title: Chapter 13: 13 Lost Innocence
Ah...Wow! I totally didn't see that one coming, but somehow... it just seemed right didn't it?
The whole age difference thing is an interesting take. Didn't most Gondorians have extended life spans anyway? So, it makes sense that for Rosloch, the age difference wouldn't be a big deal. He would still be rather young at forty or so. Aragron seemed to do pretty well for himself at almost ninety. (and had himself an older woman ta boot!). I could see it being more of a problem for Terr as the Rohirrim had more natural lifespans. (or so I understand).
He's such a decent guy and I can see and feel the chemistry between them. I am worried though about what might happen to them, or maybe, to him.... I hope i'm wrong.
Going to take a cold shower now.
Author's Response: HEHE!! I love pulling off a twist. For some reason the age difference made this more alluring, or maybe it's just like that for me. I'm not sure about Gondorians living longer. I know Numenorians did and (I may be wrong) but I think some Goondorians were related somehow. And you know, in RL there are some really hot 40 year old men. I'll send you a pic of my inspiration for Rosloch. As for Terr, I don't think she's too worried about lifespans at this point. She's just reaping the rewards of an experienced man.
Date: March 12, 2012 Title: Chapter 54: 54 At Death's Door
Oh Christ! I can't remember when I read somthing so tense! I was sooo anxious reading this, I couldn't read it fast enough. Excellent. Just excellent. It was like reading a cross between Game of Thrones and The Fiery Cross there for a minute. I won't ruin it for you if you ever want to read those, and you should!! Trust me, after reading those two books, you'll never trust another author again!!
Good solid stuff. I just can't say enough about the tension!
Way to go Eomer, waiting until the last possible second to show up. I'm glad to see though that he at least maintains some degree of integrity. His scolding was good!
Interesting plot twist. I wonder how this will effect their relationship now?
Seriously, what am I going to read when this is over?
Author's Response: Surprised to see you review here instead of the other place, but I'm just as happy to see you, lol. Well, I definitely think we have the same tastes in reading material so I will certainly take your advice. After all, you turned me on to DG and I am completely hooked, though my reading time is a lot less recently. So Terr has some new things to deal with and I don't want her to accept it too easily. It's just as shocking to her as to the reader. But I also don't want her to be too defiant. Gotta keep moving this story along. I've already got plans for another story and I hope a sequel to this one eventually. But I'm getting ahead of myself. This one still has a little ways to go yet.
Date: April 01, 2012 Title: Chapter 57: 57 Forevermore
Sorry I haven't reviewed anything lately. I've read them, just so you know, but I haven't been feeling very positive lately and didn't want that to rub off in a review.
I love Taldred and really am glad to see him return to the story. He's really the epitome of a Rohirric man; fearless, stubborn, pigheaded. And hot. That helps.
This chapter was so nice. Sweet, emotional, happy, uplifting. Impressively well written. You really "get" how to tell a story and write a romance. In all honesty, I get more excited about reading this story than I do when reading some pub'd books. I've read a few lately that are just torturous to get through!
Author's Response: Sorry to hear you are having a rough time of it and I hope things turn better for you. I know reviewers come and go quite often, but I'll admit that I missed hearing from you, so . . . glad you're back. Taldred, oh Taldred, that man has a way of sneaking back into my mind from time to time. He played such an important role in Terr's life early on so I knew I had to give him the spotlight once more. It was difficult to balance that stubborness without making him seem as if he were still in love with Terr. That time is over and he cherrishes Lindiel, his wife. But he will always look out for Terr's well-being. So it was time for some happiness after all Terr and Fer have been through. Now it's time to get them moving on to Mirkwood.
Date: April 03, 2012 Title: Chapter 58: 58 Elvish Teachings
When you're hot, you're hot! This chapter and the last were sooo well written. I loved that love scene at then end of the first secion here. So classy. You do a really good job of telling with elements of showing in the story Fer tells about his father. That was such a nice story by the way. Really makes Fer human, so to speak. You've got one paragraph in here--I can't find it right now--but it's beautiful. Could be one of the best things you've written. You're building the tension back up too I see, so that we keep reading to see what's going to happen with both her brother and the Mirkwood adventure.
Author's Response: I wrote this chapter a while back and I had forgotten about this beginning part. It was kind of like reading it for the first time and I think I fell in love with Fer all over again. Do you ever do that, read someting that you forgot about and sit back and say, did I really write that? And you liked it. Sometimes I almost feel bad about liking my own writing. Why do we do that? Why do we feel guilty? Anyways, I knew I needed to tell the back story of Fer's tattoo. It's just one more bit of proof of his commitment to Terr, a small sacrifice to see her safe. So, there might be a few more tense moments, but the worst is over, for now. Mirkwood will be quite a change for the Rohirric woman, but she's strong and anxious to see Fer's home.
Date: April 03, 2012 Title: Chapter 58: 58 Elvish Teachings
Normally, I wouldn't do a double review, but I forgot to say that I think Terr and Fer have that Jamie and Claire quality. That you can just continue to write and write about them and they would always be interesting and exciting and you'd always learn something new about them.
As to your response of my review. Phew! I'm glad I'm not the only one who goes back and reads stuff that I've written and goes, "that was really good!". Sometimes I've written stuff I think is so good, I dont' know if I could do better than that. That must be the inner critic. Why should we feel bad about liking what we wrote? I've completely lost all of my confidence and when I ask one of my former teachers about it, he said to impress myself, write what I want to read. Admitedly, I have impressed myself in the past! The ablility to impress ourselves is confidence. I'm not sure why we have to go around putting ourselves down or being humble in our own thoughts about our writing. Outwardly, in public, if you want to be humble about it okay, I get it otherwise people think you're full of yourself, but inwardly, we are the gods of our own worlds and I've never known any god to have humility. Some famous writer person once said I wrote a book so I could read it. Isn't that what we all should be doing. I don't want to read something or write something I hate, or I don't have a passion for. Passion drives our creativity. Persistence is what make us successful at it.
Author's Response: You are so right about this and I'm glad to hear it. We are our own worst critics, but we still need to give ourselves a break. And I just gotta say this was the highest form of praise anyone could have given. You know, I started writing this story a couple years ago, long before I ever heard of Jamie and Clair (which, btw I have you to thank for). I think reading about them helps me understand the relationship between a man and a woman better. I mean, I know it to a certain degree being a married woman of 16 years. It's give and take. But writing in this kind of a genre is much different than modern times relationships. I think it's more passionate, more straightforward. There is more danger and a better chance of losing a loved one so they seem to live in the moment and are grateful for those little things that we take advantage of now. So I admit, I would like to go through the stones if only for one day and experience that kind of passion, but I wouldn't want to stay long, cuz I need my wifi, lol.
Date: April 07, 2012 Title: Chapter 59: 59 Goodbyes and Well-wishes
You know, your writing has changed and matured. You're writing really good stuff. Good prose. I can see then change in it just from the begining of this story. You've got a great sense of humor and I love to see it come out in your characters. That line about talking with a full mouth. LOL! I also like the line about Rohirric men being carved out of stone and transformed in to flesh. What a great line. I wish I woulda though of that one.
Author's Response: Oh those young Rohirric men, they really get me going almost as much as Fer. I had to laugh at your mention on that one line. Actually it was inspired by lyrics from a Nickelback song called Animals. My fav band by the way. The lead singer could definitely be passed off as a Rohirrim, lol.
Date: May 01, 2012 Title: Chapter 63: 63 Dressmakers and Goldsmiths
Ha! I love that he smacks her in the ass!
I thought you said you didn't like coming up with costumes and outfits for your people to wear. Your description of the green dress is very detailed and I can envision it well. It is very creative, where ever you got the idea from!
That whole passage with the rings is very romantic. Especially the part with the unending pattern and the Through all eternity. It reminds me of da mi basia mille.
Good believable dialough here too. I'm interested to meet this Remlas guy!
Author's Response: It took some research, looking for a pic of a dress that I liked. I really don't like describing clothes, at least in this genre. I've noticed that in more modern settings, it's easy to compare it to a certain style, certain year, etc and that would make it a lot easier. But here I can't say 'vintage 1930's' or whatever, you know? I'm glad it worked though. I really sweat that stuff out. As far as the smack, I had to laugh myself when I reread for editing. I wrote this chp probably 2 or 3 months ago. Now it has a little more meaning, if you know what I mean, lol. Hey, at least he didn't use a ruler, hehehe....
Date: May 09, 2012 Title: Chapter 64: 64 Master Remlas
Hahaha! This was great! You must really like Remlas. I don't think you've ever written a character with such vibrancy. You didn't just say "He looks like this and acts like that" YOu actually showed us his facial expressions and personality. It was highly entertaining. This entire chapter was really well written. Everthing flowed together perfectly. I can't wait to read more about Remlas!
Author's Response: I really do enjoy writing for Remlas, as stuffy and aloof as he is. And bringing in a new character was fun. I guess I want people to know him quickly which is why my description of him was a little more complete. He will unravel a bit more as the story advances.
Date: May 15, 2012 Title: Chapter 65: 65 Progress and Pillow Talk
I love how you're developing Remlas. Slowly. Holding back his secrets. It makes him more mysterious and makes me want to read more about him. The joking Terr did with the injured soldier was great! Funny stuff there!
You touched on a bunch of the different story lines here and I liked it. Keeps everything fresh and moving along. We don't get dragged down in any one topic for too long.
You know, the one thing I almost never see from you is several blocks of paragraphs. But those blocks of paragraphs have great pacing. Fills in the blanks of what's going on and what characters are thinking withoug bogging the story down. I'm very envious of your ablity to pace a story. I bet you would write fantastic romantic suspense/thrillers.
Another thing about your characters is that they always fit together well in a scene. They seem to feed off each other and their dialouge is spot on. Nothing ever seems forced.
Oh, and I loved the way you drew the black curtain there at the end of the pillow talk part. Very sexy!!
Author's Response: You know, Remlas is unraveling himself to me too. I'm not sure what all secrets he's got, but every now and then, he whispers one in my ear. For these next few chapters, there's a lot of side stories going on. I kind of feel like we know what's going on with Fer and Terr right now. It's all the secondary characters and relationships that seem to be shining the brightest, and it is fun to reveal those stories. My main couple is behind the curtain so someone has to entertain while we wait for them to finish. Wait until the ceremony. It may be Fer and Terr's day, but while they're all googly eyed for each other, the other characters are going to get in the spotlight. I thank you very much for your encouragement. You always put a name to these things that I ... well, that I'm not quite sure I know I'm doing. And I know there's a novel in this brain somewhere, but it's just not surfaced yet. Maybe if I stand on my head ... lol.
Date: May 21, 2012 Title: Chapter 66: 66 Blessings of the Valar
Oops! I read this a couple of days ago and didn't have time to review then and forgot about it until just now!
That was a very different way of starting off this chapter. A very "camera out" wide view of what's going on. I actually found I kind of liked it. Scene setting and building a little bit of tension there!
Fer and Terr are very typical bride and groom aren't they. He's nervous and cracking jokes. The reader and the characters both sort of get the sense of how important this day is and that they really are now "one flesh".
Irneth and Orth's squabbling is so funny. Those two really spark together. I'm reading a book right now where the hero and the heroine just don't leap off the page. I don't really feel connected to them and they aren't really connected to each other. I hate that. When two characters are drawn together, they light the page up on their own. The writer only channels that electricity.
And I'm sorry, but I really hate it when marriage ceremonies are left out of books. I mean, I get it--it's all do you? do you? I do. I do--but really! This was so sweet and heartfelt, so almost like poetry. I suppose this is the standard I'm going to have to reach for when L and E get married, huh?! You know those scenes at the end of books when the hero and heroine profess their love for each other? (usually I hate those scenes. they're so lame sometimes!) This was a much better way to do that. A very un-cliched way (i think anyway) approach to it. A sure sign of a mature writer!!
Author's Response: I thought I needed to set up the scenery before I got into the heart of things. The wedding actually takes a couple chapters so I wanted to give the readers a sense of the surroundings. And I wanted to show the wedding since it was elvish and I researched as best I could. We all know Fer and Terr are meant for each other and they have even bonded their souls, but a proper ceremony just seemed like it would complete it all. That being said, it is a typical ceremony and there's only so much you can do. So this celebration started to turn into a chance for the readers to get to know the other characters better. Fer and Terr's story has been told. Now it's time for a little fun. I was writing for Orth and Irneth seperately up until now and I'll tell you, when I wrote them in a scene together they just came to life. It kind of surprised me too. I actually never considered Orth having such a strong interest in anyone until Irneth came into the picture. It was like he was standing behind me shouting, "Yea, that's the one I want." And then Irneth rolled her eyes at me and said, "He's such a pig, but gods is he sexy." And as far as E and L, wow you've got your work cut out for you, but I am really anxious to know how you will write it. First things first though, if you know what I mean.
Date: May 25, 2012 Title: Chapter 67: 67 On With the Celebration
Wow. This chapter is amazingly well written, not to mention witty, funny and charming!
That whole paragraph with Horphen was great. I could totally imagine him drifting in and out of the conversation. It was a very "close" POV. I could see her just babbling on and on and Horphen just sitting there like guys do when women prattle on and on and on.
Irneth and Orth are magic on the page. Honestly, probably more so than Fer and Terr. You never came out one time and said they had sex. It was all implied and innuendo. Doing all that showing and all that subtext is what builds the tension between them. they are all looks and glances and flirtation wrapped in presumed dislike.
Not only was it good writing, but it was incredibly entertaining and engaging. I really didn't want it to end! That hammer on the wall thing was positively brilliant!
He's such a rogue-ish bastard but too charming to resist! Orth reminds me of a Regency romance hero.
And really, anytime there's a discussion about Rohirric men and their general hotness, I get a little short of breath!
Author's Response: I like Horph here too. As the previous reviewer stated, he's an honorable elf. He tries to be more Orth-like, but he can't. It usually ends up biting him in the back. Irneth and Orth have really kind of exploded for me. I just love writing this kind of tension between two people. To me it's very sexy and exciting. Fer and Terr's story has come almost full circle. So Irneth and Orth are like the new kids and they are always fun to torture.
Date: May 31, 2012 Title: Chapter 68: 68 Finale of the Festivities
Ha ha! Horphen can be so cute at times, but he's still such a scoundrel!
And Orth, he always shows up at the wrong, or possibly the right, time!It's like he's lurking there, waiting for the moment when Irneth's guard is down or when she'd not looking to just pop up.
You've got a lot of good metaphors and similies here. Really good strong ones that add substance and help pull me into the story and the world.
Author's Response: First of all, congrats on being my 100th reviewer. That's the most I've gotten on any of my stories on this site. Horphen does seem to hold a soft spot in my heart. He's one of those characters that you can tease and torture and they bounce right back and ask for more. What more can I say about Orth? He's Orth and that's all. Thanks for your comments about the metaphors. It's something that I've been trying to incorporate into my new story and a little in this one as I go back and reread before posting. I think I'm starting to get a better handle on that. I may not use many of them, but hopefully when I do use them, it's in an effective spot in the story.
Date: June 06, 2012 Title: Chapter 69: 69 Motherly Advice
Well, while I'm waiting for election resuslts to come in, I thought I'd better occupy my time and send a review!
I thought Irneth calling Orth a warg was kind of funny! He is sort of a warg isn't he?
There really wasn't anything else for Laveth to say to Fer and Orth was there. She's have told them anything she was going to say before hand, but it was still a very nice moment for all of them. I wonder how that moment will affect both Fer and Terr in the future, and how this event might affect other decsions.
The reader knows what's going on here with Remlas and Terr... I mean, we're not dumb and you're not trying to hide it from us. You're dropping plenty of clues. But I'm interested to see how this will all play out and when or how or where the bomb will be dropped. Maybe you won't drop it at all, it is a possiblity, but I doubt you'd do that to us. lol
I would like to see a story, short or long about Orth and Irneth. He's so smooth and sort of cheesy and she's such an eye roller!
I got another batch of articles from the RWA. If you want me to send the best ones along, let me know. Every once in a while there's some good ones.
Author's Response: I think I just might write something for Orth and Irneth. I started to write something before, beginning with how they met and what happened, but it was turning into such a chore. I think I might pick up with where they're at now, after Fer and Terr leave. Maybe they can reminisce and tell parts of their back story. I think I'd just much rather write them as they are now and what might happen now that their on speaking terms again. As far as the RWA, yes ... yes please send. I'm always interested in that.
Date: June 20, 2012 Title: Chapter 71: 71 Captain of the Ithilien Guard
Your dialouge here is great. It's so natural. Not jerky or stiff. Again, I love your sense of humor. It adds such leveity to a story that's pretty serious. I hate stories that are serious and stiff with no innuendo or double entendre or anything. It's just not natural for people to be so puckered up all the time.
Author's Response: I think humor is important to any story. It's all part of the ups and downs. You have to have humor just as you need sorrow or suspense or any of the other emotions. And if it's serious and stiff all the way through, you might as well read the phone book.
Date: June 23, 2012 Title: Chapter 72: 72 Welcome Home
Complete! Good god, now what am I going to read?! I've looked forward to reading this every week for, what?, the last year?
What a great final chapter. You did a great job of sort of summing things up, tying or linking everything together. Past, present and future too. This story is a good example of just because the book ends, doesn't mean the story doesn't go on. You've built a world here with supporting characters that are just as intriguing or compelling as the main characters. I want to know more about them. That's not always an easy thing to do. You'd probably have a series here if this were and original fic.
As far as the actual writing goes, the physical descriptions of the talon were specific and detailed but not overwhelming. I definately got the sense that you really knew what this place looked like and I could easily envision it. Frankly, I always wondered what a talon looked like or how people live in one. I could never really wrap my head around the idea, so it was fun to actually see a vision of one.
You've improved sooo well in the descriptive prose parts of your writing. I'm seeing you engage all five senses. Choosing the right words are so important and for some reason that sentence about smelling like sawn lumber stuck out to me. Once short quick sentence dropped in there for effect but it really adds character to the whole picture.
Forever and ever amen, I envy your ability to pace a story. And that's not just necessarily taking us through time, it's also how you get the reader to keep reading. I've said in the shoutbox before, the writer's job is to keep the reader turning the pages. Once you put the book down, I've lost you. You leave your chapters with just enough of a cliff hanger that I HAVE to know what's going to happen next right away! Sherrilyn Kenyon is really good at that and I see alot of similarites between her style of writing and yours.
Honestly, I got alittle choked up here at the end of the story and then did get a little weepy when I read your End Notes. I must have PMS or something. I am honored and humbled that you would even think to mention me let alone say nice things or pub me in such a way. You know, I always laugh about we all gush over everybody else's stuff and it's like a mutual admiration society. But it's sort of like the show Cheers (and I know both you and I are old enough to remember that show! lol) It's nice to know that you can come to a place where no one judges you, where you have a commonality and other's share your interest of writing. Where you can give and get respect, friendship, honesty and support.
Author's Response: Well, you won
Rated: General Audiences [Reviews - 2]
Date: July 23, 2011 Title: Chapter 1: Thoughts on a Hard Fought Battle
Myself, not a real lover of poetry, but this was nice, short, simple, easy to read, and not so deep that I didn't know what you were talking about. You've got tension here. I can feel the heaviness, the weight of the poem, feel the weight the person is carrying, despair. You spend most of the lines in giving the possiblity evil may never be overcome, but in the end give the reader hope and make it uplifting.
Seriously, though, how much of a let down would it be if the bad guys won? If Sauron beat the Host? If the Decepticons beat the Autobots? If the joker beat Batman?
I'm sorry, I like happy endings. It reinforces our belief that good will always prevail over those who do evil... and I sort of think that it does. Call it Karma or whatever, those who do bad things will get there's one way or another, you know.
I always envy people who can write poetry. So few words with so much meaning.
Author's Response: Thank you. Yes, it is very heavy, I was going through a very dark time when I wrote this. I love your questioning if evil winning would really be bad. I also believe, like you do, that you get what you give. In his book "The Art of War" Tsung Tzu said, "if I sit by the river long enough, the bodies of my enemies will come floating by." The hardest lesson I have learned is how to sit by the river and wait. BTW I HATE poetry. Don't read it, don't teach it unless I have to. But everything just poured out of me that night. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Rated: Mature [Reviews - 3]
Characters: Legolas, OFC
Content: AU, Humor
Chapters: 2 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 1533 | Read count: 4024
Published: September 07, 2011 | Updated: September 07, 2011
Date: July 05, 2015 Title: Chapter 1: Interview 1
OMG! that was ridiculously witty and fun! hahahahahaha! Good job!
Author's Response: HEY!!!!! Duchess!!!!!
Date: July 05, 2015 Title: Chapter 2: Interview 2
*snort* ! seriously that was better than the first one! hahahahahahaha! innuendo takes talent!
Author's Response: Oh crap. Long time no hear. Wow. Great to see something from you. What the hell are you reading this old piece of s@#t? You're being nice. It sucks, lol. Hey, I left you a tweet under a different name. L8Bleumr acct. doesn't work. Can't log in and can't get them to straighten it out. Or you can email me under the L8Bleumr hotmail address.
Rated: Mature [Reviews - 8]
I would normally never write this much of a run-on sentence, but the challenge was to write a sex scene in a single sentence so.... Take any two ellons that you want to see together for an evening of sweaty sex and plug them in here. I left names out deliberately so that your favorites could be inserted.
Challenges: Love/Sex Scene
Challenge: Love/Sex Scene
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 91 | Read count: 1905
Published: October 19, 2011 | Updated: October 19, 2011
Date: March 17, 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Ha! Yes! When I wrote that challenge this is exactly what I was talking about! Challenging people to write something erotic that wasn't "insert penis here." Love/Sex scenes are about connection, intimacy, trust more than they are about pleasure or carnal desire. Those things make them titilating. Dude, if you can't connect two characters intimately or erotically in one sentence, if you can't make them spark in a few words, then they won't spark in with a thousand words.
Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so very much. I wish other of my stories came as easily as this one did. I loved the challenge :-) - Erulisse (one L)
Rated: General Audiences [Reviews - 9]
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 256 | Read count: 2387
Published: February 09, 2012 | Updated: February 09, 2012
Date: February 12, 2012 Title: Chapter 1: The Elven Sigh
LOL! A sigh by anyother name would sound as sweet!
Author's Response: The bitter-sweetness of a sigh - for all the euphemisms I could have written in its place, there is something phonetically attractive about the word, onomatopoeic, almost. Thank you!!
Rated: Explicit [Reviews - 50]
A young woman escapes from 2 years of captivity and horrors unimaginable. She finds herself running from orcs near the Golden Wood, watched by its Guardians. As she recovers from both injuries visible and invisible, she is forced to face her past and to her future as she learns who and what she truly is.
Characters: Arwen, Celeborn, Elladan, Elrohir, Elrond, Galadriel, Gimli, Legolas, Orophin, Rúmil, Yavanna
Content: Angst, Explicit Sex, Het, Horror, Rape/Non-con, Romance
Chapters: 17 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 34539 | Read count: 25021
Published: March 12, 2012 | Updated: May 29, 2013
Date: March 12, 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Not a bad first attempt. I hear ya on that one. I'd never written anything at all and then one day decided I'd give it a try. Props for putting fingers to the keyboard! As for suggestions, or such, always keep in mind that you are attempting to enterain people. Engage the other four senses smell, touch, taste, hearing.
Was there much emotion here? Could I connect with the characters immediately, or relate to them? Mmm...perhaps not so much. Could I have felt the angony of the woman's distress through Haldir's eyes? Mmm... yeah, probably, it could have been more dramatic. But, you did do alot of telling instead of showing. But that's to be expected, I mean, not everybody just wakes up one day and is William fricking Faulkner. Just keep writing. One day it will click and you'll hit the right balance between showing and telling. A hackneye phrase, yes, but in some cases, it is true.
All in all, a good start. You can't do something unless you try and if you don't atleast try to do something you'll always regret it. This is a good idea for a story!
Author's Response: I was unsure if I should have posted already since was still trying to make corrections but impatience won out. I was terrified of actually posting here yet and there were only two other times I was this scared and it was my sons. I thank you for your insight now I just have to find a way to actually incorporate all the senses and like you said balance between show and tell! This may be an interesting ride on my part--again thank you for your insight.
Rated: Explicit [Reviews - 86]
Characters: Éomer, Éowyn, Gríma Wormtongue, Haldir, Legolas, OFC, OMC, Theoden, Théodred
Content: Action/Adventure, AU, Character Death, Explicit Sex, Het, Romance
Chapters: 45 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 269126 | Read count: 50020
Published: June 25, 2012 | Updated: February 22, 2014
Date: June 26, 2012 Title: Chapter 1: The Burning Of Mirkwood
Ooo! Dramatic beginning! Reminded me of the beginning of a story I just finished reading and I loved that story! You did a good job of giving us back story, history, set up for potential or future conflicts without boring or overwhelming the reader. Large back story dumps are boring. I thought your prose was lovely, flowing and natural.
Author's Response: Thanks for being my first reviewer. I hoped the beginning would be an eye catcher. I know I have to tell back history sometimes and I usually cringe. It's a lot of research and a little imagination. It reminds me of that article you sent me about the ladies arguing over skipping to the good parts and writing the boring stuff later. Of course, I agreed with the one woman who said just writing the juicy stuff first is cheating. I've always had to write in order and that means telling history. I'm just glad it worked.
Date: July 06, 2012 Title: Chapter 2: Woodsmen of the North
Hey, good chapter. I can feel the drain on Elhadron; fear, fighting--physical and mental--hunger, exhaustion.
This whole animosity towars Lothlorien is a neat take. I assume you're not just telling up this, but that this resentment between the two is going somewhere eventually.
That whole frog part was cute! Even how it was written was cute. Darn mischeivious frog!
I like your woodsmen. Big barbaric men with lots of honor.
You know I'm absolutely terrified of spiders, so reading that whole section gave me the willies. Especially the part where it's trying to dig inside the cave. Ugh. You'll probably give me nightmares tonight. But it was well written and I got the sense of it's ferocity and yuckiness.
I can't find it now, but you had a similie or a metaphore that was really really good. I'm sure you know which one it is.
You've got a lot of emotion and a lot of tension so far in this story. It's not like the others at all. I'd say even the writing is different. Darker. Crueler? Bloodthirsty? I'm not sure what it is...but i like it! this isn't going to be a light and fluffy, beach read story.
The history and descriptions you gave of the woodsmen was perfect. Just enough so I get the sense of who they are and what they are like.
Author's Response: You know me well, Duchess. There will be reason for the story of Mirkwood and Lothlorien as it gets a little deeper into the story. Glad you like the frog part. Boys will be boys no matter what race they are. For the Woodsmen, I did a bit of research, but most of it I had to come up with myself. It's pretty limited, the information about them, but I got this whole image stuck in my head and that's how they came out. You know, I hate spiders too. I don't like a lot of creepy crawly things, but there's something about spiders and make the hair stand up on the back of my neck, no matter what size they are. Hope you can sleep tonight, lol. I think the difference with this story is that it's not primarily a romance, which most of mine seem to be. Not to say that there won't be any romance. There has to be a certain amount. It's just not the focus of this story. And I'm kind of into this darker style. I like the emotions it brings out in my characters.