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01/22/19 01:01 am
Thank you SparkyTAS and Gabriel- this is lovely- you get birthday wishes for days!
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happy birthday, Ziggy!!
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A Sizable Diversion by elfscribe

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Story notes:

This story is somewhat AU from the rest of elfscribe's twins 'verse, since in this one they don't seem to feel the overwhelming guilt they do in other stories.

Beta: Capella
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that the venerable Prof. Tolkien dreamed up (and I suspect he's rolling in his grave over this story) and I make no money from this fic.
First published on LJ: 12/29/05

A Sizable Diversion
by elfscribe

Elrohir knew what he wanted, but, as yet, his brother did not.

Barefoot, Elrohir stealthily entered his twin's room and slid shut the interior door bolt.  Elladan was seated at his great wooden desk, hunched over a large map, its scrolled ends held open by piles of books. He consulted a page of notes, dipped his quill into the ink bottle, and drew a tiny black cross somewhere in the vicinity of Redhorn Gate.  Spidery hatches sprinkled the whole range of the Hithaeglir, parts of Ered Mithrin, and various spots in the Anduin river valley. By Mandos, they looked like a plague of bedbugs. Elladan's head was bowed in concentration. He'd been at this for days.  It was never good to obsess thus, especially when out of the field. His brother should think about something other than orcs. It was high time for Elladan-baiting, a sport with many rewards.  Elrohir approached silently.    
Elladan shifted forward in his chair.  His right ear emerged from the pour of sleek dark hair, looking tender and vulnerable. So tempting. Elrohir imagined tickling his tongue along that curved surface into the softness of the interior fold and hearing his brother's breath shudder inward. He sank his weight into his knees and became a long-limbed creature ready to pounce.

Without even looking up, Elladan said, "Remember that skirmish in Eregion two years ago?  You drew them out into the open and I attacked from the rear. Was it at this bend of Glanduin or that one?" Elladan pointed at the map.

Elrohir chuckled as he plunked both hands down onto his brother's broad shoulders. "Remind me never to try to jump you. I had donned my best cat pads this time."

Elladan looked up at him and rolled his eyes toward the ceiling.  "I always know when you are nigh.  Are you going to help with this or not?" 

"What about, 'Greetings, brother, so pleasant to see you this evening.'  Then I'd reply, 'Indeed it is and where were you at dinner?'" Elrohir folded his arms.

Elladan had returned to his notes.  "I had just remembered another battle and was trying to determine the location. Have a seat. It's good that you came. So which bend is it, do you think?"

"The first one you pointed out." Elrohir fell backward onto Elladan's huge bed.  At this time of day the bed curtains were drawn back along the wall. Elrohir well remembered passionate nights spent within their secluded confines. The memories made him ache. He ran his hand over the silky counterpane.

"It can't be," Elladan said, "because that bend strays too far to the east.  Remember, it was late in the day and the sun was behind us."

"If you knew, why did you ask?  What are you doing anyway?"

"I have an idea that if I mark all of our orc sightings for the last several years, we will see a pattern that will enable us to pinpoint their strongholds underground. Glorfindel liked the idea and gave me the map to work on.  But so far," he leaned forward and squinted, "all I can determine is that there is a prodigious quantity of them."

"Well it doesn't take days of little x marks to figure that one.  I could have told you at the outset.
'Elrohir, how many orcs are there?' you could have asked. 'Prodigious lots of them, Elladan,' I would have replied. A great stinking, verminous horde, in truth. Certainly more than I can kill. Morgoth alone knows how they multiply so fast.  They must spend all day long in their dank little holes humping away like rats and have litters every two days."

Elladan arched an eyebrow at him. "Funny, brother. Go away if you haven't a mind to help."
Elrohir curled himself up on the bed like a tabby and leaned his weight on an elbow.  "All right then, you've forgotten that one-eyed fellow's band we encountered south of Celebdil."

"Ah yes, so I did."  Pleased, Elladan scratched another mark.

"In honesty, Elladan, this is fast becoming an obsession."

Elladan grunted, his eyes never moving from the map.

"Which has been remarked upon . . . "

Elladan was counting along increments of a foot-long measuring rod laid across the map and muttering to himself.

". . . by numerous members of the household."

Elladan looked off into empty space.

"Ada mentioned it at dinner this evening as part of a cautionary tale about what happens to elves who focus too much on the works of the Enemy."

Elladan shuffled through the scraps of notes and landed his finger on one.       

"Then he stood on his head, and recited the Lay of Beleriand."

No response.


"Elro, hold your finger here so the rule doesn't jostle."              

Elrohir got up with a sigh.  He leaned over his brother, stuck his finger on the measuring rod, and waited until Elladan had finished the mark, then he lifted the rule off the table and held it up, sighting along it.

Elladan paid no attention.

Elrohir moved the stick down to his crotch and slid his other hand up it and then back to rest half way down its length. "Huh," he said.  He raised it to a more acute angle, managing to jab Elladan in the back.

"What in Arda are you doing?"  Elladan looked up in exasperation.

"Lindir asked me a curious question last night and I was just wondering about it," Elrohir said.

Elladan sat back.  "I know I'm going to regret this.  What did he ask?"

"He asked which of us is bigger."

"Well, that's silly. Everyone knows we are the same height."

"He wasn't asking about height, mîren."  Elrohir waggled his eyebrows and tapped Elladan on the
shoulder with the stick.  The spluttered exclamation this elicited was perfect.  Elrohir had to suppress a smile.

"Warg's teeth! Why would Lindir want to know such a thing?"  Elladan had pushed his chair back and was looking directly at Elrohir for the first time.

Oh ho, Elrohir thought, that has got his attention. "Just natural curiosity, I imagine," he replied, far too    innocently. "Twins, you know. Everyone wonders how alike we really are."

Elladan grinned at him.  Grinned, for the first time in days.  He said, "I hope you told him the truth."

"What truth is that, my bane?"

"That I'm bigger than you, of course."  Elladan bent back to his map, but Elrohir could feel his amusement. This called for hearty indignation.

"You are not!"

"Indeed so.  Always have been. Quite a bit bigger in all dimensions: both longer and with greater girth. In fact when rampant, my weapon is a terror to any who confront it.  I've heard that is true of the first one born in any pair of twins. I am surprised you were not aware of that."  One corner of Elladan's sumptuous mouth quirked upward.

Elrohir snorted as if in disgust.  "What an old wives' tale! I'm rather well acquainted with your equipment and I'm quite sure that I am larger, which is, in fact, what I told Lindir."

"Well, you will just have to go back and tell him that you lied - most shamefully."

"I will not."

"You will."  Elladan rose slowly from the chair and moved toward him, menacingly.

"Make me,"  Elrohir teased, playing the role to a fare-thee-well.

"I'll more than make you, you little tart!" Elladan leapt on him.  They fell backward and landed on the bed, laughing, rolling, and grappling.

Elrohir allowed his brother quickly to get the better of him.  It was good to see him laughing for a change.  His face was flushed and his eyes sparkled wickedly. Elrohir could never get enough of looking at him. He was now exactly where Elrohir wanted him, straddling his waist and holding him down by the wrists. Elladan's weight felt good. Elrohir licked his lips in anticipation. 

"Do you admit defeat?" Elladan gloated.

"Quite. I'll go and tell Lindir immediately."

"Do that, will you," Elladan said, "and leave me to my researches."

Elrohir looked at him sidelong. "However, dear brother, I told him of my greater size with such authority that I'm sure he will know my confession is under duress.  He will want proof."

"Proof!  By Mandos, I have no desire to haul out my tackle for Lindir's inspection."

"Why not?  He might enjoy it, once he got over the shock," Elrohir chuckled, "and then maybe you would have a chance to use it. But actually, I think you'll have to prove it to me, first, before I can convince Lindir of my sincerity."

Elladan shook his head in disbelief.

"Because frankly, brother, I'm convinced that I'm right in this." Elrohir allowed the corners of his mouth to rise.

"All right, if it's proof you want . . . ." Elladan rolled to the side and, raising his hips off the bed, began unlacing his leggings.  Pausing momentarily, he looked at Elrohir. "Was there anyone in the adjacent rooms when you came in?"

"They are all going to the Hall of Fire this evening.  I don't expect we shall be disturbed," Elrohir

"Well, then."  Elladan pulled the tongue of material under his lacings to the side and withdrew his rather substantial equipment, which was just beginning to unfurl nicely.  There was something completely erotic about watching him handle his own cock in that familiar, rough manner. Elrohir's mouth began to water.  "Hurry up, get yours out too," Elladan said.

"With pleasure," Elrohir said. "Be prepared to have all your illusions shattered."   The feel of his cock in his hand was extremely pleasant. It had a satisfying heft and twitched with a vague ache that needed attention. If he maneuvered his brother adroitly enough, that ache would soon be sated.  He scooted on his knees next to Elladan until they were lined up thigh to thigh.  "Hold it up, brother," he said. Then he grasped himself by the tip and brought their cocks together.

 "See that, I'm longer," Elrohir chortled.

"You are pulling it longer, you cheat,"  Elladan growled.

"What do you expect at this angle?" Elrohir replied.  "We need to line them up properly to see."

"Just use the rule and measure them."

"No, I've a better idea.  Lie on your back, then bring your arse around here, yes, like that, right up against mine. Then we raise our legs together like this in the air, open them a bit.  Line up our cocks, like that."

From this awkward position, their balls were pressed together, a sensation not too unpleasant.  They curled forward attempting to measure their cocks against each other.

"I'm not a scunning acrobat, arsehole," Elladan said. "This is absurd."

"But as you can see, I'm a tad longer." Elrohir's stomach muscles were straining with the effort of
holding the awkward position and he was trying very hard not to laugh.

"You are pulling again. I could make a stocking cap out of all that loose skin.  Besides, you are more aroused than I," Elladan said.  "I begin to wonder if you are treating this contest seriously."

"You mistake me, brother.  I am undertaking this with the utmost seriousness." Belying his remarks, Elrohir was shaking with laughter. "If I am more aroused, you'll just have to get yourself in a similar state if you want to compete."

"Was your claim of greater size based on a couchant or a rampant state?" Elladan grinned.

"I did not specify.  However," and here Elrohir had to bring his legs down on either side of Elladan's, he was laughing so hard, "I imagine the rampant state has more authority, don't you?"

Elladan's eyes crinkled with competitive amusement.  He spat into his hand and began stroking himself. "You have asked for it, brother."

They lay side by side, rubbing themselves into a heated frenzy.  The snap of palm against skin, and the warm smell of awakening arousal was making Elrohir dizzy.  In the distance, he could hear the sonorous notes of the bell calling the elves to the Hall of Fire.

"It's well that you bolted the door when you entered," Elladan said, as his hand moved rapidly, "I would hate to try to explain this."

"Agreed, that might prove rather awkward," Elrohir said. His hand was wringing very pleasant sensations from his shaft making it hard to concentrate on what he was saying. "Uh, so, you were paying attention after all to what I was doing when I came in. I thought you were completely immersed in orcs. You had me fooled."

"Good," Elladan grinned. "Tell me, brother.  How did you happen to have this conversation with

"Oh, it came up while bathing in the hot spring the other night.  I sat down next to him.  I must say, he was looking me over rather thoroughly.  I think he was drunk.  After a few pleasantries, he made some comment about 'peredil accoutrements' and wondered if I was unusually endowed or if it was typical of our kind. He, uh, helped himself to a feel of the wares."  Elrohir chuckled, knowing the reaction this would elicit from his brother.

"That was extremely cheeky of him," Elladan growled.  "He should be careful where he places his hands or he might find himself examining a peredel accoutrement right up his arse."  He stopped his motions and let his cock slap up hard against his shirt.  "There.  What do you think of him now?"

Oh gods, so gorgeous - the long, thick pole jutted proudly from the fine, dark brush at its root. It was slightly reddened by his brother's recent abuse and all the more erotic, displayed as it was within the frame of his dark blue leggings. It was weeping a slight wet spot on the edge of his silver-gray tunic. Elrohir reached over and curved his hand around Elladan's rigid flesh, which was delightfully warm with friction. "Impressive, brother," he said. "I can barely get my hand around him.  But, you will find the same is true here."

Elladan reached over and sampled Elrohir's member. The younger twin squirmed with pleasure at the feel of a hand not his own, but shaped the same, with similar callouses from long hours at battle practice.

"Hmm, not bad, but I can make that even better," Elladan said.  He sat up, pulled open a drawer in the elaborately carved headboard, and withdrew a small bottle of oil.  Rolling back over, he grinned as he shook it at Elrohir.  "Your concoction, my dear.  As I recall, it tastes good, too."

Elrohir rose up onto his knees and then groaned in delight as Elladan poured the lotion out into his hand and applied it generously, first to his own, and then to Elrohir's shaft, where he let his hand linger.  The slippery stuff smelled divine, like impending sex, and heated up beautifully on his skin.

Elladan pulled lazily back and forth. "Don't you find it more effective," he crooned, "when the hand upon you is not your own?  I think perhaps it is due to the uncertainly of not knowing what will happen next.  I could be moving with maddening sloth, and then unexpectedly accelerate in a most gratifying manner."

"Oh yes, most effective," Elrohir gasped.  He reached over and grasped his twin's shaft and proceeded to follow his lead.

"That should stiffen them up to their full glory," Elladan sighed as he thrust into Elrohir's hand.

The younger twin closed his eyes, lost in sweet sensation, as his brother increased the speed and pressure.  He could feel himself building to a peak when, sadly, Elladan released him.  He opened his eyes. "Why did you stop?"

"I thought the game was about who was larger.  We can't play if we're spent," his twin grinned.

Elrohir squeezed tightly about his handful, producing a growl from his brother.  "Reckoning time," he said.  He moved forward on his knees and pressed his cock flush to his brother's, encircling them in his hands and humming a little at the pleasant sensation.

"See that, I'm the larger one now," Elladan chortled.

"In no degree do I accept that assessment," Elrohir said. "Look here."  He shifted his weight and now he appeared a fraction longer.

"We are not lined up properly, although it is beginning not to matter." Elladan's breath caught as Elrohir flexed his hips, rubbing their cocks together. "You feel very good," he said.

"It's time to up the stakes, caul nîn," Elrohir said.  He tapped his shaft against his brother's.  "This sensation is pleasant, but nothing compared to what I can tease from your whole body, if you would but unclothe yourself." He slowly ran his tongue across parted lips and watched his brother shudder.

"Done," Elladan said as he rolled off the bed and rapidly divested himself of his garments.  Elrohir followed, his fingers working frantically to undo the lacing at the sides of his tunic.

The room was darkening as the summer's day finally drew to a close.  Elladan struck sparks with flint and steel and lit the oil lamp near the desk.  He got back on the bed and crawled to the headboard, placing the lamp in an alcove. The flickering light clothed his skin in golden splendor.  Elrohir paused to admire his brother's long limbed beauty: the way one taut buttock lengthened and the other flexed as he crawled across the bed. When he sat up, his sheaf of black hair shifted and slid, just brushing the tender curve of his lower back.  He turned and drew the bed curtains around with a soft hiss, disappearing within.      

Elrohir hauled his shirt over his head, and struggled out of it, clicking his tongue in exasperation as the cuffs caught on his wrists.  He could just make out the outline of his brother in the faint glow through the curtains.

Elladan said, "By the time you get in here, brother, we will both have lost our inspiration and have to begin all over again."

"Having wardrobe difficulties. You might help," Elrohir grunted.

The curtains parted and Elladan reached out and hauled him up onto the bed, then took hold of his recalcitrant sleeves and jerked them free.  He threw the shirt out into the darkened room and then closed the curtains. 

They sat facing each other, lower legs drawn back under their thighs. Elrohir gazed at his brother, filling his eyes with his beautiful form.  It never felt to him as if he were looking into a mirror, though he knew to others they appeared nearly identical.  Instead, it seemed as if he were looking at a complement to his own spirit, not completely separate, and yet not himself.  Joining with him was an experience with no equal: playful and passionate, frightening and forbidden, overwhelming and fulfilling.  Together, they became greater than the sum of their parts. It was a union that Elrohir desperately desired.

In the flickering light, Elladan's eyes glittered, pupils dilated wide as a cat's. His body was that of a battle-hardened warrior, lithe and deadly.  Elrohir wanted to put his hands all over him and lick his way from the fine collar bones, over the curves of his smooth chest, past the rippling abdomen, down to the feast that awaited below.

Following Elrohir's gaze, Elladan took up a meaty handful of himself, stroking his cock with one hand and playing with his bollocks with the other.  The sinews in his forearms rolled with the motion. His lips curled into a lascivious grin.  Elrohir returned it.

"I think, Elro, in order to gain the full size needed for this competition, we are going to have to work on each other quite diligently. Are you up for the task?"

"What do your eyes tell you?" Elrohir replied, his hand encircling his own tumescence.

"That you are beautiful," Elladan said.

Elrohir released a breath. He moved closer, leaned in, and licked the hollow at the base of his brother's throat. "I need you; don't deny me," he whispered.

"Why would I deny what I desire as well, uthaes nîn?" Elladan said.  So saying, he threw his arms around Elrohir and wrestled him down to the bed.  Their lips frantically sought each other, first nipping and then devouring fiercely, constantly changing position and tactic amidst little gasps and moans.  Elladan's supple body felt so good, so warm and alive within his arms.  His mouth was like nectar, of which Elrohir could not drink enough to quench his desire.  Like their mouths, their lower limbs entwined, writhed, and strained against one another.  The sensations burned a taunting demand within Elrohir's loins.

Elladan's mouth left Elrohir's. "You are rapture," he cried.  And he proceeded to eat his way down Elrohir's neck and across his chest, pausing to suck a nipple.  A frisson of sensation shot up from Elrohir's groin.

"Ai," Elrohir cried.

"I know how much you like this," Elladan grinned around the rapidly swelling bud.  He gave it one last swipe, before moving to the other one.  He began teasing the nipple with his teeth, grabbing it and tugging lightly, then rapidly licking again.

Elrohir moaned and thrashed.  "That is almost too much to bear," he cried. Elladan snickered and Elrohir realized it was time to regain the upper hand.  He bit his brother's neck and tongued a wet line down across his abdomen, pausing to lazily swirl in his navel and then suddenly he grasped his brother's cock and dropped down over it amidst a slither of silky hair.

Elladan made a loud strangling sound as Elrohir engulfed him, causing the younger twin to reach up and clap a hand over his mouth.  "Discretion, brother.  There may be those who can hear us," he said, and then went back to the task of making him lose all self-control.  Elrohir sucked with long hard pulls, taking his brother's shaft all the way down to the root where soft hair tickled his nose and he had to open his throat to accommodate him, then drawing back up and vibrating his tongue over the head.  Elladan tasted like the almond essence in the oil.  He filled Elrohir's mouth so deliciously, so completely.  He could feel his brother's ecstasy through the connection they shared and it brought him to the edge of madness as well. He sped up his pace.  Elladan's legs began to shake and he thrust to meet the downward glide of Elrohir's mouth.  Ah yes, brother, Elrohir thought, I have you now.

"Stop but a moment," Elladan panted.

Elrohir licked a long hard trail from root to tip and only then looked up at him through his eyelashes. "Are you having difficulties, meleth?"

Elladan's chest was heaving.  "Don't you think I have the advantage now in our contest?" he asked. "I could hardly get any bigger."

"Are you complaining?" Elrohir flicked out his tongue, licked the tender, sweet-tasting  head, and was rewarded by the sound of Elladan's inward hiss.

"Not at all, but if you keep that up, I'll spend, and we will never know who is larger. I'm so close now," Elladan moaned.

"I think that could easily be amended by teasing him up again.  We have all night," Elrohir said, lazily sucking on the tip and then letting it go with a slight pop. His brother shuddered most delightfully.

Elrohir was lying on his stomach, between his brother's sprawled thighs, his own legs stretched back.  He flexed his hips against the bed, causing his rear to tense and release, knowing well the effect it would have.  Elladan licked his lips. Suddenly, he pulled away, turned around, and rolled onto Elrohir's back, his weight pressing his brother down into the mattress.

"You are a dreadful tease, brother," he growled into Elrohir's ear. "I know a way to end this contest, once and for all."  He slid his length between Elrohir's thighs and thrust slowly as he bit Elrohir's ear.

"Indeed?" Elrohir said, feigning concern.  He loved it when he pushed Elladan to the point where he became demanding and forceful.  All he wanted right now was to feel his brother's cock buried deeply within him, pounding them both into ecstasy.  He reckoned it to be a matter of moments . . .

He felt Elladan slide down, felt knees between his thighs forcing them apart. Then his arse was attacked by a hot mouth, kissing and biting and licking.  Hands spread him wide and he was being licked within an inch of his life.  It tickled and tingled. He moaned and wriggled under the assault.

"You have the most glorious arse in the kingdom," Elladan said in a voice heavy with lust.  "I want to fuck you. Rise up a bit."  He gave Elrohir a stinging slap on the rear.

Elrohir complied and then stifled a cry as Elladan's tremendous girth breached him and slid in to the hilt.  He felt Elladan's stomach pressing against his rear.  It hurt so splendidly. "Gods, oh gods," he groaned.

Elladan gave a soft, guttural groan and the hands on Elrohir's hips tightened.  "That is just about the most wonderful feeling on Arda," he said.  He began moving, slowly. "How do you like that?"  he asked breathlessly.

"I like it," Elrohir replied with a gasp.
"Not too large for you?"
"No, most satisfactory."

"Oh, it will be more than satisfactory.  I'm going to fuck you so hard, you will feel it in your throat,"Elladan said.

"Promises, brother.  Uhhh," Elrohir groaned. Elladan began making shorter jabs, hitting directly on that sensitive spot deep within him.  Elrohir saw colored flashes of light.   He fell forward onto his elbows and grabbed a pillow for leverage.

"Now, uh, tell me the truth, melethron," Elladan said, gasping as he thrust, "who is larger?"

"I am," Elrohir said, and then cried out as Elladan made a particularly vicious thrust.

"Are you sure? Think again."  Elladan pulled almost all the way out, leaving just the head inside.  He reached around and fisted Elrohir's cock.

"Gods, gods, brother, I want you, please, all the way in, all of it!" Elrohir knew he had become
incoherent.  He didn't care. "Please, give it to me. You've won.  You're much bigger. Ai, I swear."

Elladan shoved his entire length back into him and Elrohir screamed into the pillow.  His brother began pounding him raw and Elrohir could barely breathe with pleasure.
"Gods, you're huge, Ladan," Elrohir cried, "You're killing me. Oh, how I love it when you fuck me like this.  I going to come so hard now."

"By Mandos, me too," Elladan moaned. "Join with me."

Elrohir felt their minds and souls merging in one immense roar of ecstasy, an explosion that pumped through him in soaring, painful rapture.  His whole body sang out his release.

For a time they drifted in the nether world, their minds joined and curling around each other in joy. When he finally opened his eyes, he found his brother lying next to him, gazing at him with  an expression soft with love and sated desire.

"You are like no one else," Elladan said. "No one makes me feel the way you do." He pulled Elrohir close and kissed him on the lips.

"No one else," Elrohir agreed happily.  He entwined their legs.

They lay warmly together, slowly caressing and kissing.

"I think my cock exploded that time," Elladan said.

"Mmmm," Elrohir murmured.

Suddenly Elladan sat bolt upright.  "I know where the cursed orcs' lairs are," he cried.  "They were right there under my nose.  They have three outlets we did not know about before: one near Mount Gundabad, another on the east side of the High Pass and a third . . ."

"A third at the west gate of Moria," Elrohir finished.  "We're going to have to warn travelers going through Hollin that it is no longer safe."

"How did you know?"

"I could smell them when we were last down there," Elrohir chuckled.  He raised his head.  "And besides I could see the pattern from the marks on that map of yours. You know next time you undertake an enterprise like this, you should ask me first."

Elladan laughed.  "Maybe I just needed a diversion for a while in order to better see the signs."  He stroked Elrohir's hair. "It was quite an enjoyable competition."

"You know, brother," Elrohir said wickedly, "you obtained my concession under duress. Next time, I will prove to you that my equipment is the larger."  

"Next time," Elladan said.  "What about now?"
The End

Chapter end notes:

All words below are Sindarin
Hithaeglir - The Misty Mountains
uthaes nîn - my temptation
mîren - my treasure
caul nîn - my affliction
melethron - lover

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