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Shoutbox

Spiced Wine
01/20/18 10:21 am
Many Happy Returns, Ziggy and as always, thank you for your wonderful stories :)
ziggy
01/20/18 08:44 am
THank you Naledi! Spending the day riding my horse, writing the next chapter- will post this evening if I finish or tomorrow. Perfect day:)
Naledi
01/19/18 09:30 pm
Ziggy - happy Birthday for tomorrow. Have a great day!
Spiced Wine
01/19/18 12:10 pm
Happy Friday, everyone :)
Spiced Wine
01/18/18 11:07 am
I am not surprised, Karlmir!
Karlmir Stonewain
01/18/18 02:53 am
Hi, Sin! My latest short story and the next one were inspired by this rotten winter weather.
Spiced Wine
01/16/18 11:03 am
Keep cosy, Karlmir
Karlmir Stonewain
01/15/18 11:53 pm
Snow is in tomorrow's forecast here. The storm will last through Wednesday afternoon. About 8" of snow is expected. I planned ahead and did my grocery shopping this morning.
Spiced Wine
01/15/18 10:14 pm
Not sure well get it down here - I hope not! You said it, spring cannot come soon enough for me! Im sorry youre not well, Narya
Narya
01/15/18 09:47 pm
Has anyone got snow yet? We're having a hailstorm here, and I'm still coughing. Roll on Spring...
Shout Archive


The Prank War! by Caunedhiel

[Reviews - 4]   Printer
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Story notes:
Disclaimer - All Tolkien's. Sadly.
Chapter notes:
A much re-written version of the story I had posted on LOTRFF, I hope you enjoy this much more :)
Any feedback is appreciated!

A very special thanks to my Beta, the lovely Mindirith
The Prank War!



“Right, that’s it!” Glorfindel jumped as Legolas stormed into his office, face flushed with anger, hands pulling roughly through the mass of pale golden hair.

He studied Legolas for a moment. The intricate braids that adorned the prince’s head stuck up all over the place, giving him the look of a very enraged cat. It was unusual to see the Prince of Mirkwood so angry. “Let me guess, is it the twins?”

“Yes, it’s the twins! Of course it’s the bloody twins! Who else would it be? Curse the both of them and let’s pray to Elbereth that they fall in the nearest pile of orc shit!”

Glorfindel snorted under his breath, “What did they do this time?”

Legolas threw Glorfindel a withering look. “Let’s not talk about it,” he said, as he shredded a bit of paper in between his fingers.

“Oh, come now. You burst into here, disrupting my important business, without even telling me what the hell is going on?” Glorfindel looked at Legolas with a bemused expression, “You, my friend, are not leaving this office until I get some answers.”

Legolas stared out of the window for a moment then mumbled something under his breath.

“What? I didn’t quite get that, Legolas, my dear.” Glorfindel chirped. Secretly he enjoyed watching the son of Thranduil squirm.

Legolas glared at him, “I said, while I was relaxing in the public baths, the twins, you know... those two little buggers some people call grown ellon, well, they stole my clothes and steeped them in cow manure. Poured fresh cow piss – don’t ask me how they got it, I don’t want to think about it – into my boots and then promptly made sure no-one had spare clothes. Anywhere.”

Glorfindel raised an eyebrow. “Is that it? I was expecting something a little more exciting than... that.” He sniffed.

“What. Do. You. Mean. Is that it?! I’ve just spent the last hour covertly making my way back to my rooms so I could burn the stench from my body!”

Glorfindel crowed, “Ah! That’s were that smell was coming from before! It thought it odd that I could smell the cows this close to Imladris!” He laughed, neatly dodging the book Legolas threw at him.

“You think this is funny?” He said, his voice dangerously soft, “wait till you see what the twins have done to Asfaloth.”

The grin quickly slid off Glorfindel’s face like wet mud. “What?”

“What? Did I say anything?” Legolas gazed at him innocently, “You must be mistaken. Old age you know, I’ve heard it does strange things to the body.”

Now it was Glorfindel’s turn to glare, “If you were not a guest and a royal one at that...”

“You would what? Gum me to death?” Legolas smirked affecting not to notice the death glare Glorfindel sent him. “I’ve just had a brilliant idea!” He said suddenly, an evil smile working its way onto his face.

The reborn Balrog-slayer involuntarily shuddered, that smile never boded well for anyone.


*~*~*~*~*~*~


“...I’ve got a mountain of paperwork to do, you know. This had better be for a good reason!” Erestor snapped as he sat on one of the old armchairs in Glorfindel’s now overcrowded study. The formidable advisor had been practically dragged all the way here; he was not in a pleasant mood, to say the least.

“Don’t look at me! It’s Legolas who wants to speak to you.” Glorfindel said as he closed the door and made his way to the last remaining chair.

Erestor turned his sharp gaze on Legolas, narrowing his steel grey eyes. “Well?”

Legolas sat, tapping his fingers on the arm of the chair, “Do you remember all the times you’ve been humiliated and embarrassed by the twins? How many times you’ve had to wash something grossly disgusting from your person or how many of your personal secrets found their way to everyone in the valley?”

Erestor’s mouth pressed into a thin line. Glorfindel surreptitiously shifted as far away from the pair as he possibly could in the small room. Suddenly he wished he had a balcony... preferably one he could jump off of.

Legolas continued, “I mean... don’t you wish that you could get revenge?”

Erestor blinked for a moment or two, the fact that he was in the mother of all moods forgotten for now, as he considered the implications carefully. A small smile graced his lips, “I’m in.”

Bloody hell, Glorfindel thought as both of them turned their gazes on him.

“Are you in or out?” Legolas asked.

“Elrond is going to skin us alive when he finds out.”

“Who says Elrond is going to find out?” Erestor said in a low menacing tone, the very one that set ancient councillors and junior advisors alike quaking in their boots.

“Fine, I’m in.” Glorfindel huffed in defeat.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*


The remainder of the day was spent forming their plans, and even Glorfindel had to admit this was going to be brilliant. The chime of a bell rang throughout Imladris, signalling the start of dinner. Wearing mischievous grins the three of them made their way down to the feast hall.

Upon entering the hall they split up, not wanting to draw undue attention to themselves.

“Glorfindel, I hear you have been catching up on paperwork all day. As pleased as I am that you are finally going to hand me that report I asked of you two weeks ago, I can’t help but ask, are you feeling well? This is most unlike you.” Elrond said as he sat down, pouring himself a large glass of fruity wine.

“Hmm...Oh, yes the paperwork. Well, you know, I had to do it sometime and now that I cannot see my desk for the paper....” He replied, not looking over to where Legolas sat with others from the Woodland realm or where Erestor was currently trying to talk and eat soup at the same time and failing.

Dinner passed agonizingly slow. He had a hard time concentrating and sometimes a small smile would appear as he thought of their prank. Elladan raised an eyebrow as he saw this but said nothing as he continued talking to his father.

When the last bowl was scraped clean and thoughts turned to what the entertainment would be in the Hall of Fire, dinner was brought to a close. Erestor caught Legolas and Glorfindel’s eyes as they swiftly left the hall and turned onto the path that led to the gardens.
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