Heaven's Reward Fallacy
You expect all your sacrifice and self-denial to pay off,
as if there were someone keeping score.
You feel bitter when the reward does not come.
You work extra hard and sacrifice, and do the right thing,
expecting to get a lot of credit later.
Often, it doesn't come, and this upsets you.
I . Beauty
Perception is everything, his father teaches him when they're discussing politics. The court in Tirion is fickle and observing something from a different angle can make a piece of beauty ugly in an instant. Fingon isn't sure what his father was referring to at the time, he can't quite remember the rest of the conversation but the phrase always stuck with him, yet later he'll look back and find how much truth rings in these words. Not that they bring closure or are actually helpful.
In fact in his entire life Fingon will always find a lonely moment where these words come back to haunt him. Always.
"So everything that is beautiful can be ugly as well?" Fingon remembers asking this, standing in his father's study in front of the huge desk that's surrounded by books and other important documents.
His father, so serious and regal that Fingon's heart is pounding in admiration, nods and adds another piece of wisdom that Fingon can't remember anymore. At that point his father's word is law, created through intelligence, experience and reflection and the words help him through his youth. Sometimes Fingon struggles with uncertainty when he meets another person at court or somewhere else that connects him with his grandfather, the King. In these moments the words about beauty and repulsion helps him to weight the person, lets him repeat the words in his mind and gives him time to think about it.
Well, that's it until he meets Maitimo.
They aren't childhood friends no matter what the folk tries to say later on. No, Nelyo is already an adult and Fingon a young boy just reaching puberty, Turgon being the current baby wailing during family gatherings. Well, as he learns in that week Aunt Nerdanel is pregnant again and very much so, given her swollen belly. Circumstances make her give birth in Tirion. Between the ruckus of Uncle Fëanáro's return to his father's side, Uncle Arafinwë's announcement to wed Princess Eärwen of Alqualondë and the birth of the loudest baby ever, their first meeting falls to the side.
The beginning of their relationship consist of short, superficial encounters at the dinner table, in the hallway of the palace or other locations within grandfather's domain. Perhaps it's because Fingon is still a boy back then and doesn't fully grasp the situation but before anyone can draw attention to it, Fëanáro's and Nolofinwë's eldest sons have met and parted without adding fuel to the family feud.
That is at least until Fingon grows and notices he keeps watching Fëanáro's eldest. Whenever he's around Fingon seeks him out. Since the son of the crown prince doesn't visit often, Fingon always finds a legitimate reason for bothering his cousin while he works. Another addition to the House of Finwë causes Maitimo to stick around for more than just one season (three exactly, Fingon notes. Maitimo arrives at spring and leaves Tirion to spend Yule with his family) the design between their encounters grows more and more ridiculous.
Maitimo is friendly without a question. He laughs with his younger cousin in the afternoon sun and teases Nolofinwë's eldest with the words to relax a little before he jumps half-naked into grandmother's Indis lily-pond.
Right there, right then Fingon grasp the meaning behind Aunt Nerdanel's name for her son. Maitimo is the height of grace and refinement when he struts out of the pond again, skin wet and perfectly tanned while his red hair is an unbound mess, a public display of disgrace as the Queen would call it.
Maitimo's voice still rings in his ears as Fingon flees the scene, confused by his own fascination. His arousal is unbearable and Fingon has to take care of it immediately, just a few steps into the house. Insides it's dark compared to the light outside but the evidence of his lust becomes visible far too fast and Fingon is left staring at his own hand that stroked his flesh moments before. The wide semen covering his fingers is the ugly side of Maitimo's perfection. And it's his doing. It's him who changes the angle and mars the fair soul by taking two steps to the side and looks at Maitimo with wrong intentions.
Since he has no choice Fingon returns, his face burning red under his cousin's knowing smile. Obviously he wasn't fast enough to hide the bulge in his pants. Thankfully Maitimo doesn't breach the topic and Fingon can pretend that he never had to get rid of the evidence by cleaning his hands with his tongue.
Fingon likes to pretend nothing happens after, that he hides his reactions well. But he blushes every time he meets Maitimo's eyes. It takes full three tortures weeks in which Fëanáro's son makes him squirm under his gaze and raises only an eyebrow when Fingon excuses himself to hide the hardness in his pants again and again. By the end of the summer Fingon is close to caving, begging that the crown prince's visit would end and that their grandfather wouldn't force them to spend time together.
Yet the King assigned Maitimo as his tutor and Fingon can't escape.
It finally ends and begins the day where Maitimo lectures him over his letters in a stern voice. Fingon grows hard just from the sound of it and the large frame towering above him. His hands are trembling when he dares to look up.
There must be something in his eyes because Maitimo whispers in his ear to be good before he shoves one of his large hands into Fingon's pants.
The other covers Fingon's mouth as he comes with a helpless cry, wriggling in his seat under the knowing touch until Maitimo is satisfied with the outcome. The crown prince heir cleans his hand on Fingon's pants since they're already ruined and tells him to get back to work.
The lessons proceed and Fingon learns how to finger himself while Maitimo watches. Rewards for good work alter between sucking off by Maitimo or kneeling in front of him and trying to do the same. One memorable afternoon Maitimo finally bends Fingon over the desk. Maitimo growls, takes him hard and doesn't apologize when Fingon slightly limps the next day.
By the time Maitimo leaves Tirion in winter, they know each other well enough that Fingon is trusted not to make too much noise when Maitimo hoists him up and fucks him against the wall.