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Fast Falls the Eventide by Narya Teen
Passing through an English country village, Maglor encounters a grieving mother struggling to come to terms with a deep injustice.
~ The Last Fires of Autumn ~ by Spiced Wine Mature
An autumn night in Imladris. Elrohir and Tindómion speak. Mentions of slash, of violence, therefore rated mature.
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And death shall have no dominion. The final installment of The Price of Eternity series.  
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Finrod accompanies Beren to retrieve a Silmaril and is captured, along with his companions. His encounter with Sauron in...
~ Magnificat of the Damned. Book IV: Anvil ~ by Spiced Wine Mature
From Angmar to the Dagor Dagorath. The final story in the Magnificat of the Damned series. The Doom and destiny of the...
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The One Ring has been destroyed and Sauron banished to the Dark with Morgoth. But not all the Rings were destroyed with the...
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Ysilme
08/20/18 01:15 pm
immensely with coping and staying sane.
Ysilme
08/20/18 01:15 pm
I can understand that SO well, Spiced. I found my way to fanfic in the grieving period for my FIL who did not beat it (he had no chance from the outset, though) and it & the community helped me
Spiced Wine
08/20/18 12:26 pm
It is something that can take my mind off the situation for a while
Spiced Wine
08/20/18 12:26 pm
This site and reading fanfic and writing have been a lifeline to me when I have thought I would just go mad.
Spiced Wine
08/20/18 12:25 pm
Bless you, Ysilme, I am so glad to know that your father and uncles have so far beaten it.
Ysilme
08/20/18 11:55 am
hell for us who love them.
Ysilme
08/20/18 11:54 am
and larynx), my other uncle (bladder) is trying to make it until his golden wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks but it's touch and go, so I can totally relate. As you say, Spiced, it's he
Ysilme
08/20/18 11:51 am
All the best and lots of good vibes to your mum and you, Spiced! *hugs* Ziggy, all the best to you, your brother and your family, too! *hugs* My father and uncles both beat it so far (prostate
ziggy
08/19/18 11:45 pm
Thanks all- this is such a kind place. x
Gabriel
08/19/18 11:39 pm
But on a lighter note, I have two wonderful stories to read a little later on. :D Can't wait.
Shout Archive


Not Broken Just Bent by IdrilsSecret

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Story notes:
Gifted to Lotrangel17 for the Sultry In September Slashy Santa challenge.

Written for the prompt:

Rating up to = NC-17

Requested pairing = Elrohir/Erestor would be choice #1 Or my good old standby OTP of Glorfindel/Erestor who I can read forever and ever about.

Story elements = For Elrohir/Erestor I have a prompt I'd like and I usually don't get specific but lately I love the song Just Give Me A Reason by Pink

Here's a link to the video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpQFFLBMEPI

with the lyrics I like:
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

~~~

I'm totally open to any situation with Fin and Res as long as Erestor is a strong character not a weak one - they are equals. If you need a prompt I love scenes where they are fighting side by side.

Do NOT include = I'm open to anything as long as it has a happy ending.
Chapter One


I’ve always wondered how I captured the heart of the most eligible ellon in all of Arda. Actually, if it had been up to me, it might not have happened at all. Glorfindel was the one who instigated it, and I thank the Valar every day for this rare gift.

What a mighty warrior such as Glorfindel ever found intriguing about an elf such as me will puzzle me all of my days, but I’m glad for it. Many centuries have passed since we pledged our love for each other, but it was not always an easy life with Fin. We are two very different people. He is a hero, a legendary Balrog slayer whose stories will be told for generations to come. I … well, I’m merely a counselor, master of the most complete library in Middle-earth. I like calm and quiet, order and routine. Glorfindel likes adventure, to set out in no particular direction and see where the wind might carry him. In the beginning, it was sometimes difficult for us. There was a lot to learn about each other, a lot to become accustomed to, and there were times I doubted our relationship. Glorfindel and I overcame much, and our love now is the strongest it has ever been, but the road to this form of bliss was sometimes filled with bumps and bruises. No one ever falls in love and lives happily ever after, even if it is with Glorfindel. Happily ever after must be earned, and then it must be nurtured. Only then can one say that they have found their forever. And I, by the blessings of the Valar, have found mine.

* * *

Rivendell-Early Fourth Age

It was another late night in Rivendell’s library. Erestor had started a personal project, researching his family, tracing them as far back as he could. This was one of the benefits of being master of Elrond’s library, unlimited resources.

He could be here as late as he wanted. Glorfindel was off on another mission for Lord Elrond. Since the ending of the Ring War, Fin was away a lot, acting as a dignitary representing Rivendell. Bree, Lothlórien, Lindon, Eryn Lasgalen, he had traveled to these places and many more. Once to Rohan and a few visits to Gondor. Glorfindel was gone the longest when he went to Gondor, and those were the loneliest of times for Erestor. Fortunately, this time it was a visit to Bree, which meant Fin would be home by the end of the week.

Erestor sat back in his overstuffed chair, picked up his glass of wine and smiled. He was looking forward to Glorfindel’s homecoming. The sendoff celebration had been quite adventurous, consisting of a warm fire, a fur rug in front of the hearth, and a rare vintage that Fin had brought back from the Greenwood, a gift from King Thranduil. Erestor reminisced, remembering how the elf lord’s long gilded mane draped across his bare chest, blanketing the counselor in warmth and softness. Other parts of his anatomy had been swallowed in a different kind of heat. Just thinking of it made Erestor wriggle in his chair. Fin was never far from his thoughts these days.

He reluctantly pulled himself out of his salacious reverie, set his glass down and looked at the ancient papers spread out on his desk. It was no use getting all worked up when there was no one to take care of his needs.

Erestor slid the yellowed parchments around, reorganizing his organized mess. This particular group of records was from the First Age. Tracing his parents and their lineage had been a bit of a challenge. He was so young when his parents sailed, barely past his majority. There was no other family to speak of. Relatives had either been in Valinor already, having never left the blessed realm, or they had sailed long before Erestor was born in the late Second Age. He’d discovered quite a few cousins, aunts and uncles, and was in the process of finding the marriage of one of his father’s brothers. Surprisingly, Erestor found that he’d had family living in Gondolin.

Glorfindel had told Erestor plenty of stories about Gondolin, a fascinating place from the sound of it. The shops and markets had been the finest around. People came from all over to visit the unique city. This had been Glorfindel’s begetting place, where he trained as a soldier, and eventually became chief of his own house, the House of the Golden Flower. Erestor had read much about this time in history, most of it before he officially met Glorfindel. The elf lord spoke of things that did not make it into the history books, filling in many of the blank spots.

The counselor found the records of the marital bindings and began searching for his uncle. “Ah, here it is, and it seems as though it was quite a celebration,” he said as he looked over the old recordings. Not only were other family members and close friends in attendance, but his uncle had a military escort as well. That was odd, he thought, for he’d never known any of his relatives to have been important figures in the army. This type of binding celebration was usually held for high ranking officers. In this type of ceremony, one member representing each of the Twelve Houses of the Gondolindrim made up the escorting party. They would dress in full uniform, decorated with medals and weapons, six on each side of the grand entrance. As the blessed couple entered, the officers raised their swords, making a kind of canopy that the couple would pass beneath.

He studied the list further and found Glorfindel’s name as the representative for the House of the Golden Flower. “I had no idea that he might have known any of my own kin,” said Erestor, surprised. He sometimes forgot just how very long lived Fin actually was.

Closing the book, Erestor sunk back in his chair, closed his eyes and imagined how handsome Glorfindel must have looked in his uniform, golden waves of hair cascading down his broad shoulders, a look of youth and wisdom playing on his features. If only Erestor could have been alive then to see it.

But timing was everything, and he and Glorfindel met when they were supposed to. He remembered that day, when it was announced that the mighty elf lord was coming to live in Rivendell. Everyone was so excited, gathering in the courtyard at the gates of the city. Erestor himself dressed in his finest robes, dark green silk embroidered in gold, his dark brown hair long and flowing with only a small braid on each side in the front.

Glorfindel rode in on his white steed, Asfaloth, one of the elven horses, a noble and hardy breed. Fin wore his armor and a white cape attached at the shoulders. He had shone like the sun that day, a symbol of fearlessness and strength.

All the young ellith had run up to meet him before he could dismount. He smiled at each and every one of them, making more than a few faces blush. Erestor did not join the large group of elves in the courtyard. Rather, he stayed standing at the top of the steps that led to the main veranda of the Last Homely House, and took the role as the observer.

The sons of Elrond caught the reins of Asfaloth, steadying the horse so Glorfindel could get down. Erestor watched as the elf lord took off his riding gloves, patted his steed with a loving hand upon the neck and ruffled the mane. The counselor watched this gesture with wonder, for he had seldom seen one of the warriors connect in such a way with his mount. It was then that Erestor knew there was more to Glorfindel than just the stories and the legend. There was a softness beneath that outer shell, but one that did not take away from the might of the golden one. And with that one small gesture, Erestor felt his soul sing out.

Glorfindel handed his gloves to one of the twin brothers, and started to swing a leg over the horse’s back, but he stopped abruptly. As if in answer, the elf lord scanned the crowd until his brilliant blue eyes caught sight of Erestor standing alone and away from the fanfare. They captured each other with a vivid stare before Erestor turned away. Nothing like that had ever happened to him in the past. The feeling was overwhelming and it caught him off guard. Erestor dared not look at the elf lord again, and instead, he turned from the celebration, his hurried tread leading him to the library.

There was no explanation for what had happened, but Erestor thought it was nothing more than a moment of star-gazing … Glorfindel being the bright and shining star, of course. Infatuation was not something Erestor would ever allow himself to experience. He was a highly educated scholar, a respected counselor under the Lord Elrond. He did not swoon at the sight of someone as recognizable and respectable as Glorfindel. Erestor was above such behavior.

Presently, Erestor shook his head and took another sip of wine, “And I was a fool to think that what I experienced was nothing.” Looking back, he realized what that first connection was … inevitability. Still, it would be years before either elf acted on their captivation for one another. Erestor continued to bury himself in his work until he was appointed Chief Counselor. And his love for books assured him the position of Master Librarian. Glorfindel never stayed in one place for very long, and was absent from Imladris often, though he always returned to the city eventually. Erestor also had witnessed the many relationships that Glorfindel flaunted, returning home with a new lover almost every time. Well, it was none of the counselor’s business what Glorfindel did in his private life, but deep down, he yearned for a chance with the elf lord. These feelings were, of course, buried well within his own personal abyss, and Erestor went on believing that it was nothing more than a foolish notion.

Then one day, Erestor was thrown into a situation where they had no choice but to get to know each other. Glorfindel invited Erestor to accompany him on a hunting trip. Erestor declined the offer, of course, but Glorfindel’s charm and insistence won out. They had spent a week together, hunting in the wilds without incident, but Erestor remained suspicious, thinking Glorfindel was only looking to make another mark in his notorious bedpost. By the end of their time together, each one realized what the other had that could contribute to those missing pieces in their lives, and love soon followed. They were a perfect fit, complimenting one another most agreeably. They still had their flaws, and it took a long time to form a bond of trust and respect. Both Erestor and Glorfindel made changes and sacrifices, molding themselves into what the other wanted without letting go of the thing that made each one unique. Erestor managed to remain the self-obedient type, used to structure and stability, while Glorfindel remained the free roaming elf lord who always came home to tell an amazing story of his latest adventures. There were plenty of disagreements along the way, and the bruises and scars sometimes went deep enough to leave a mark on the soul, but it was always resolved with the fact that nothing could change what they felt deep down in their hearts.

Erestor returned to his research, looking over the guest list of his uncle’s binding ceremony. Many of the names were not familiar at all, friends, family and distant relatives. Then, to his surprise, there was Glorfindel’s name again. Not only had he been part of the ceremony, but he had been a guest as well.

In the guest book, names were listed as a married couple or a single invite. Married couples were registered as so, but single persons were listed in a column to the right. To the left was the name of the person who accompanied them, if applicable. Beneath the names was their relationship to each other. Erestor’s finger slipped across Glorfindel’s name where it was written in black ink. He took a moment to realize how long ago this was written, a small piece of history. He had of course expected to find a name to the left, and there was, a female by the name of Taura. Erestor was slightly surprised to see a female name, for he had never known Glorfindel to have any interest in the opposite sex. Perhaps she was a friend. He was, after all, the chief of his house, and it would make a nice impression to see a lovely elleth on his arm. Then, Erestor’s finger slid down to the space left for the relationship, and his heart leapt into his throat.

“Betrothed?” Erestor said aloud. “Surely this cannot be right. In all the years we have known each other, he’s never mentioned a betrothal.”

He rubbed his eyes and looked again, but the word was still there just as legibly as before … betrothed. “Well, if it is listed here, then surely there is a record of this joining somewhere else?” Erestor abandoned his wine and his comfortable chair, and went back to the library, knowing exactly where to look. His hand roamed over book after book until he found the one that listed engagements. Then he pulled the book from its shelf and went back to his office. Forgetting about his distant uncle and his wedding, Erestor started researching Glorfindel and this woman known as Taura. He searched page after page, and finally found it, a betrothal announcement and record of a ring exchange.

“What?” Erestor called out with astonishment. “Glorfindel was to marry? Why, that … that swine, that son of an orc. He lied, LIED to me. I’ll have him hung by his balls.”

That night, as Erestor laid in bed, not sleeping, staring up at the dark ceiling, he played over and over the conversation they had had so long ago. It was at the end of their hunting trip, when each one discovered how deeply they felt for the other. Glorfindel was willing to surrender his heart easily, but Erestor still had doubts. It was too good to be true, to think that Fin loved him so completely. He had known that the elf lord had many relationships, some in the past and some in the present. Like most lovers do, when everything was still new, they talked about past companions, ones who they failed to love and ones who failed to love them. And at the end of their conversation, they admitted that though they had loved in the past, none compared to what they felt for each other.

This was why Erestor could not let this ancient betrothal be taken lightly. A binding between two elves was a serious matter, and one that would not happen unless feelings were genuine. The fact that Glorfindel was willing to pledge his soul to another elf … and an elleth no less … meant that he must have felt deeply for someone else, when he had sworn up and down that Erestor was the first one who stirred his soul.

The logical side of his brain argued that it must not have been so genuine, for the marriage never took place. But the reckless side kept telling him that there was someone before himself; that those true feelings of love had existed with someone else, no matter how long ago it was. Did Fin still have feelings for this elleth? Who broke off the engagement? Had he only settled for loving Erestor? But what hurt most was the fact that Glorfindel never said anything about it. Out of all the stories of past loves and lovers, he never mentioned this betrothal, and that cut deeply into Erestor’s soul, for Erestor didn’t hold anything back. When Fin returned, he would see. He would get answers from the elf lord.

* * *

Erestor had been in counsel with some of the other chiefs all morning. There had been important matters to discuss, which left Erestor little time for seething. It was just as well. He was wearing himself thin, as his mind played over and over the thought of Glorfindel and this betrothal. He couldn’t help imagining Fin smiling down at this elleth, taking her hand and slipping a ring onto her finger, asking that she surrender her soul to him and his soul to her. Had he told her the same thing that he told Erestor, that he’d never felt this way before? It was almost too difficult to concentrate on what the others were saying. They had gotten off subject and were talking about some kind of disturbance at the outer regions of their lands.

With the meeting adjourned, Erestor gathered his things and went in the direction of the library to get back to his office. As he walked along, someone grabbed him and pulled him into an alcove covered by a curtain. Before he had time to protest, his mouth was being ravaged. It was dark in the secret room, but he knew who was kissing him with such need and desire. It had been a long while since they had been together, and as mad as Erestor was, he found it very difficult to push Fin away. He didn’t have to, as Glorfindel released his mouth and caressed the tip of the counselor’s ear with his tongue.

“I want to take you right here, Counselor,” Glorfindel whispered urgently, his strong warrior arms snaking around Erestor’s waist.

Erestor twisted to face Glorfindel, and his hand reached down to cup the warrior’s manhood through his leggings. “How badly do you want me?”

Glorfindel moaned in answer and pushed himself harder against Erestor’s hand, “Can you not feel for yourself?”

Erestor tightened his grip, “And did you get this hard for Taura?”

Glorfindel’s breath caught in his throat, “What?”

Erestor’s hand squeezed harder, making Glorfindel hunch over slightly, “Did you shove yourself into her too, as you slipped a ring onto her finger?”

Confused, Glorfindel tried to back away, but Erestor had a tight hold on him, “What are you talking abou—“

“Don’t pretend that you don’t know what I speak of,” Erestor demanded, and his fingers grasped Fin’s manhood in a death grip. “A betrothal! You were prepared to bind yourself to an elleth named Taura, and you brought her to my uncle’s blessing ceremony.” Not exactly how he wanted to say it, but it was out now, and Glorfindel needed to explain himself. He released his hand and Glorfindel backed out of range.

The elf lord took a moment to register the name and the meaning behind Erestor’s ire. Then it dawned on him what was happening, “Taura? Taura of Gondolin? But how did you know—”

Erestor looked straight into Glorfindel’s eyes, “Thought you’d keep that little secret to yourself, did you?”

“It was a very long time ago. I hardly remember it.”

“You pledged your soul to someone, prepared for a binding, exchanged rings, and you do not remember?” Erestor berated. “I should think you would recall something as permanent as marriage. I guess I should be glad you even found your way back home, you are so forgetful.”

“You are being ridiculous, Erestor,” Glorfindel shot back.

“I am being ridiculous? Me?” Erestor looked down and hung his head as though thwarted. He waited until Glorfindel took a step towards him, and right before the elf lord reached out to touch his shoulder, Erestor swung his fist, striking Fin with a sharp blow to the jaw. “Bastard,” he said under his breath, and he left the alcove.

Halfway home ... Erestor should have known better than to think he could make it without any distractions, but it wasn’t meant to be. Approaching him was his apprentice, Lastar. He would have to stop and address the youth, and hope Fin chose not to follow.

“Erestor, I’m glad I found you,” Lastar said hurriedly. “There has been word from the sons of Elrond, trouble at the borders. They came upon a group of elves traveling past the plains that had been besieged upon.”

“Injuries?” Erestor asked.

“Yes, one serious but most were minor. Luckily none were fatal,” Lastar said. As Erestor started walking away hurriedly, he stepped quick to keep up.

“And this concerns me how?” Erestor asked impatiently.

“Well, Lord Elrond told me to warn—“

“Erestor!” Glorfindel called from behind, cutting off Lastar’s explanation.

Erestor kept walking. Lastar looked over his shoulder to see the gilded warrior fast approaching. Then he looked to the counselor, “Shouldn’t we stop and wait for Lord Glorfindel?”

“No,” Erestor said tersely.

“Counselor, a word please,” Glorfindel called.

Erestor ignored Fin, noticing that Lastar was falling slightly behind, “Keep up, Lastar. Now, what was it you were saying about Lord Elrond?”

“Right. He sent me to tell you that—" Again, Lastar was interrupted. Glorfindel had caught up to them, and stepped between the two elves.

“You will excuse us, Lastar. I have some unfinished business with the counselor,” Glorfindel said evenly. Erestor noted how he acted as if nothing had just happened in the alcove, though there was a red mark on his lower jaw.

Lastar bowed and started to leave when Erestor stopped him, “You will stay, Lastar. No one may excuse my apprentice but me, and I am not finished here. Go on, what were you telling me about Lord Elrond?”

For a third time, Lastar tried to relay his message, but Glorfindel put a hand on the young elf’s arm, “You may finish your business in a moment, but I need to speak with Erestor first.”

“I have nothing else to say to you,” Erestor demanded.

“Yes, you made that quite clear,” Glorfindel replied and touched his chin, “But I was not allowed a rebuttal. In my defense, I must be given a chance to explain my actions.”

“Oh, I understand your actions perfectly well. It’s your lack of information, reasoning and morals that has me peeved,” Erestor said.

“Perhaps I should leave the two of you alone to settle your differences,” Lastar interrupted, feeling as though he shouldn’t be listening to their conversation.

“Stay put!” commanded Erestor, his eyes trained on Glorfindel.

“Fine, if you want to have this out in front of your apprentice then so be it,” Glorfindel said turning to Lastar. “Do you believe in second chances?”

“Y-Yes, my lord,” Lastar stammered.

“It seems that Erestor does not. One slight mistake and he’s ready to throw everything away,” Glorfindel went on.

Erestor feigned a smile at Lastar, “And if someone withheld important information that could have altered your decision—”

Glorfindel gently pushed Lastar to the side and moved in front of Erestor. He met the counselor’s harsh stare, sadness glazing over his own blue eyes. “Are you saying you had to decide whether you loved me or not? Because in my own heart, I had no choice. I knew from the moment I saw you.”

“I thought I knew too, but you were a risk. I trusted you with my soul and now I find out that you are too eager to give yours away.” There was a venomous tone to Erestor’s voice. He had to concentrate very hard on keeping himself stern, for deep down he wanted to end this argument, forgive Glorfindel and go home to the splendor of a night of love. Being mad at Fin took a lot of wasted energy.

“It was nothing of the sort. Do you think I’ve lived all these centuries just to be frivolous with my feelings? You cannot think that.” Glorfindel said softly. “Please, Erestor, can I not explain what happened and why I did what I did? Let’s go home.”

“I would not go home with you even if ... even if . . .” Erestor paused to look around for something to use as an example. His eyes settled on Lastar, “. . . even if the enemy was invading and it was the last safe place to be.”

“Well,” Lastar said, and stopped himself, unsure if he should cut into their discussion.

Glorfindel must have heard something in the apprentice’s tone, for he abandoned his pleading with Erestor to focus on the youth, “What is it, Lastar?”

“Lord Elrond sent word. Sightings of orcs have disturbed the outer borders, unusually large groups harassing the villages on the plains. Elladan and Elrohir call for aid. There are too many spread too far out.”

Glorfindel switched into his warrior posture, “An invasion?”

“I can’t be sure, but Lord Elrond calls on every able hand to pick up his sword and be prepared to march,” Lastar informed.

Erestor wished to be relieved of this difficult situation with Fin, but not in this manner. No one wished for battle. “You must go then,” he said to the warrior.

Lastar offered his last bit of information, “This time, not just soldiers are called upon. Every elf must go.” He stopped and swallowed hard, “Even us.”

This was more serious than Erestor could imagine. Long had it been since all of Rivendell was called into battle. Invasion indeed, he thought to himself. “Come, Lastar, we shall prepare.”

“You are not going off to fight,” Glorfindel commanded.

“I will not disobey a direct order from Lord Elrond. You heard Lastar, every elf must march,” Erestor said, defending himself. “And don’t you have your own army to command?”

Glorfindel rounded on Erestor and took one of the counselor’s dark braids between his fingers, “We are not through here, Counselor. You will hear me out … eventually.” He captured Erestor’s lips and gave him a rough but quick kiss. Then, without letting Erestor have the last word, Glorfindel spun on his heal and walked off towards the soldier’s quarters to gather his troops.
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