This made me laugh... that cook is really something... He's so... dryly humorous, and just sarcastic enough! xD I can imagine it must be a sad job, being a cook for people who can't eat anything...
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Quantum. I love your screen name btw. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. It was fun to imagine what the curse must have been like for the cranky cook. I appreciate your comments.
So much to love! But I think the notion of the Stone of erch being brought from Numenor was the funniest- and Helmhelm. He was hilarious. And beneath this wonderfully grumpy cook is a very warm heart- for a start he cooks, and laughs gently at Helhelm going off to clean his bow- again! But he lets the horses go because he thinks they might be stuck forever to the wagon.
Author's Response: Thanks so much Ziggy. The thought of the Numenorians dragging that stone onto a ship really amused me, as did Helmhelm with his double helm and killing himself with his own bow, and I thought others would have fun with it too. I glad you enjoyed this and I really appreciate your comments.
This is wickedly ironic, and hilarious to my mind. Old habits die hard indeed, I mean knowing you are dead but still having the urge to cook, ouch... and then dying with a bunch of basil in your pockets - I mean how ignoble... hehehe - I loved it!!
Author's Response: Thanks Alpha Ori. It's kind of a double punishment to be dead and still have to do the cooking, isn't it? I'm glad you enjoyed this.
OMG, there were quite a few sentences I really appreciated:
- "He took the whole king in beggar’s guise bit to a whole new level this one."
- "I shook my ladle at a couple of those who seemed undecided and off they went too."
- "The Elves think they’re the only ones here you see."
I love this cynical, practical, hard-die (*wink*) cook.
I don't think I would have the drive to keep cooking for so long, for a bunch of unappreciative "customers".
I really enjoyed the tale. It made me think of canon points that I never considered, and to look at the whole scene with a different eye.
Oh, and the laugh. LOL.
Thank you :-)
Author's Response: Thanks so much Scarlet. When I thought of this story the first image that came to mind was the cook scaring the people off the ship with his ladle. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. :-)
OMG this is too precious and completely off the wall! It is sooo different and unexpected! I loved the cook and his obvious observation on everything--especially the rock. This was too good and I love the way your mind thinks!
Author's Response: Thanks Alareyel, I'm glad you enjoyed the humor here. It's always fun to write something off the wall like this.
This was lovely, hilarious and utterly cynical!
"a Man that looked like he could use a hot bath and a shave. That had to be him, Isildur’s heir. He took the whole king in beggar’s guise bit to a whole new level this one."
I cracked up reading this. There are so many times while watching LOTR that I thought this. I totally agree with the cook:)
Author's Response: Thanks Elvewen. I can never resist taking a dig at Aragorn, or just about anyone else. :-) I'm glad you like this.
A great story! I never really thought about the actual people behind the name "Army of the Dead". But surely all the camp-followers would be included in the curse.
I really liked the musings about the stone of Erech, the possible last-minute evacuation of it gave me a good laugh.
Author's Response: Thanks Tinara, I'm glad you like this. I thought it would be fun to do the Paths of the Dead story from a different perspective. And out of all the things they could have chosen to save from Numenor someone chose that stone? That's funny in itself. I appreciate your comments.
Love it! As a snarky cynic myself, this is a (dead) man after my own heart.
Author's Response: Thanks Branwyn, I have to admit to sharing a few traits with this cook myself. I appreciate your comments.