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Elegy for Númenor - Volume 1: Journey to Umbar by elfscribe Mature
The Númenórean King Ar-Pharazôn thinks he has won an easy victory when Sauron surrenders to him and...
Shadows Of The Past by Starfox General Audiences
After a disastrous incident in the mountains Elrond's past experience allows him to help Thranduil and Legolas cope with...
Where the Shadows Lie by ziggy General Audiences
Not only the Three survive Sauron's fall, and not all darkness is vanquished. Sequel to Sons of Thunder. Warnings: loads...
The Condensed Silmarillion. (Which is not so short any more.) by cheekybeak General Audiences
The Silm you read when you are not really reading the Silm. Everything you always wanted to know......but missing all the...
Heaven's Reward Fallacy by mangacrack Explicit
In which Fingon struggles with life and never seems to get it right.
A liaison in the Great Greenwood by Azukiel Explicit
Legolas has loved Adlanniel since before she came of age, and she has loved him dearly. However, when Legolas volunteers...
Enough: So Beautiful the Lungs Are Breathless by UnnamedElement Teen
Things are dark in Mirkwood, and the death of the Elvenking's eldest daughter Lieutenant Felavel sends the family into a...

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Spiced Wine
07/20/17 10:19 pm
I hope you had a lovely time, Naledi. And Ziggy, I hope you are recovering well
07/20/17 10:10 am
Thanks, Ziggy. Oh no - heaven forbid that the Shoutbox should be civilised! It sounds like things need to be shaken up!
07/18/17 11:53 pm
Welcome back Naledi! It's been very civilised in your absence:) Everyone has been behaving and not making people write things they shouldn't;)
07/18/17 09:00 pm
Hi all, I've been quiet lately because I've been away a lot. Sorry I missed your birthday, Glorfindel. I hope everyone's well.
07/13/17 12:00 am
Yes- have a lovely day Binki:) xx
Alpha Ori
07/12/17 09:52 pm
Have a great day Binky!!
Spiced Wine
07/11/17 10:13 am
Have a lovely time Alquien. Same for me, internet/wifi both very iffy.
07/10/17 03:21 pm
Starting today, I am on vacation for 2 weeks. No internet though (or very iffy, at best) so I will have lots to catch up on when I get back. Have fun everyone! ((hugs))
Spiced Wine
07/06/17 06:00 pm
I hope you are all okay. I have finished by backlog of work, and I notice I have missed Encarion's update, so I will treat myself by reading it
06/27/17 10:44 am
So good to have you back, Spiced! *hugs*
Shout Archive

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: July 11, 2017 6:35 · For: Chapter 13 Many Meetings
I felt so sorry for Elladan and Elrohir. They just seemed a bit out of place once it was all over. I guess being two of only three Elves fighting alongside thousands of Men must have been a bit sobering. And that whole misunderstanding with Legolas would have made matters worse, even with Aragorn close by.

I really felt for Elladan in particular this chapter, for he has only just realised his feelings for Legolas, only to have them thrown back in his face, poor thing.

Gimli, can't help but love him. I especially love what Legolas threatened to do if Gimli or Aragorn wager on him again. Something to the effect of chucking him in a barrel of ale, riding all the way to Erebor and back, with him bouncing behind and then pissing on his Pipeweed and not telling him. Classic! Legolas getting his own back.

Author's Response:

Yes- you're right if course. It must have felt very lonely actually- and normally they would have each other but this misunderstnading has pushed them apart and Elladans realisation is quite complex because he has never wanted a man before. Actually at this point when I was writing it, it could very easily have gone with Elladan but Elrohir is a force of nature! What would have happened to him had Elladan truly fallen in love with Legolas and his back??


Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: June 26, 2017 13:26 · For: Chapter 12 Battle of the Pelennor Fields
Wow! Legolas is such a badass when he's angry even more so, and still giving the twins a very VERY cold shoulder.
My favourite part was Elladan in the midst of battle; such a smooth operator.
For an Elf who is quite temperate in demeanour he fights like an efficient killing machine.
I also like Elrohir, always his brother's shield. Always looking out for him, I guess that's the bond they share as twins, as if they are one soul. :D

Author's Response:

Yes- Legolas is really quite a different character when crossed- he feels really aggrieved in this chpater, liek they wwere toying with him and laughing at him. His silvan pride has been stirred and wounded here so he really wants to show them his metal.

That bond between the twins is, as you say, very important and powerful- it is both their refuge and their downfall- Elrohir's at least. You'll remember he sacrificed himself to Angmar for Elladan and so that is how the twisted memory of what happened with his mother took hold. That remains t haunt him.

Thank you for the reviews:)

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: June 26, 2017 12:31 · For: Chapter 11 The Hunger
I really love how you switched the sons of Elrond's characters, so Elladan acted like Elrohir and vice versa. Unfortunately this did not go down too well with Legolas once he realised he was wrong in his assertions as to who was who, for he believed they were playing him for a fool. Poor Legolas so much misunderstanding going on.
It was not the twin's fault at all.
Great reading! :)

Author's Response:

Ah- you're at THAT point now, Gabriel. I really like Elladan and I have to admit, I was playing with the idea of Legolas and Elldan as a pir but I'm afraid Elrohir just wasn't having any of that! So glad you are enjoying this still.

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2017 12:47 · For: Chapter 10
Oh, my gosh, Ziggy, Little Legolas is so adorable, you write him so perfectly.

What's this! Elladan and Legolas having a moment. A rather beautiful moment, I might add. I'd be very interested to see whether anything more develops between these two.

Is there anyone not lusting after Legolas! :)

Author's Response:

I can't help writing everyone lusting after Legolas- but that's simply my own elf-worship!! I admit I could have gone either way with Elladan/Eorihr at this point but the characters had very definite views- again, no spoilers!!

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: June 18, 2017 13:14 · For: Chapter 9
Yes I think Aragorn should hang his head for making Legolas think he had failed him.His selfish pursuits almost cost Legolas his life.

I wish Elrohir would tell someone. I know he feels ashamed of his memories and thoughts even if a part of it is implanted, but he just cannot go on like this, it will make him mad in the end.
Elladan is such a sweetheart. Such a source of strength and peace for his brother, Legolas and anyone else who needs it.
I love your Gimli, you write him so true to how he should be in character, such a gruff exterior but absolutely adores Legolas.

Author's Response:

Don't worry, I make Aragorn remember his unfairness to Legolas MANY times and Gimli enjoys telling him off a lot throughout the res tof this fic! 

I'm afraid a lot of the conflict is EXACTLY as you identified! Because Erohir won't talk about this shameful memory, he does not understand it- if I say any more it will be a spolier so I'll just leave it there:)

I love writing Gimli - I find Pippin and Gimli the easiest, their voices are very strong and they are easy to talk to as a writer- they want to share!!

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: June 14, 2017 13:21 · For: Chapter 8
What would Elrohir do without Elladan. I notice Elladan is starting to put all the pieces together albeit, slowly, with the strange moods Elrohir has been in lately. Finally, thank the stars!
One of my favourite parts;

'It is like the Mazar-kut,' he said softly, and met the astonished Dwarf's deep brown gaze. 'The call in your heart for Ekhezd-dum, where Mahal first delved and the Seven Fathers sleep, awaiting the breaking of the world. 'He lifted three fingers of his left hand and then pressed them against the Dwarf's chest, over his heart. 'The fire in your heart that calls stone to stone is like the song the Elves hear that calls them home to Valinor, across the sea.

I love that Gimli was so astonished at an Elf knowing something of the Dwarfs' secrets. It also made Elrohir come across so wise.
Awesome Ziggy! :D

Author's Response:

What is so noce about your reviews, Gabriel, is that I m being reminded of things I had forgotten! I liked Elrohir's understanding of Khazad culture in this too- thank you for picking that out!!

ANd thank you for all these lovely reviews- makes my day ot get one of these:)

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: June 09, 2017 13:09 · For: Chapter 7
I think it would best to keep Legolas well away from the sea. The longing seems to put him in unnecessary danger.
Elrohir rides in like a knight in shining armour, takes Legolas into his charge, heals him and then takes advantage of him. Oh, Elrohir, tut tut.
Great stuff Ziggy! :D

Author's Response:

Oh -you're right in all the best bits now! Yes- Elrohir behaves REALLY badly but it haunts him terribly afterwards. He is rather magnificant though - I hope you could see the fanart that went with it- for some reason, my Apple won't show it. So glad you enjoyed this- I think it gets better- you've got some great sexy bits coming up.

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: June 01, 2017 11:31 · For: Chapter 1
I like Gimli in this. He's a friend, confindant and Legolas's conscious, in the very rare moments Legolas needs one.
He really has a problem with Elrohir, but who can blame him. Elrohir has had it in for Legolas, when there appears to be no reason for it. If only they knew. Gimli's fealty to Legolas is unrivalled.
I don't quite agree with Aragorn's attitude though.It seems to me he's accusing Legolas of the whole fight club thing, a bit unfair,I think he lets his biases cloud his judgement a bit too much, especially when Legolas has proven his loyalty and love for him as the King by being a part of the fellowship and all that entailed.
Elladan, I'm actually starting to really like this one. Even with his calm sensitive exterior, sometimes he comes across a lot more resilient and strong than Elrohir.
Fantastic! :)

Author's Response:

You are dead right about Aragorn's bias in this- even though Legolas is risking everything, he still takes his brother's side. He does come to regret that of course.

Elladan is a really lovely character- he is calm blue where Elrohir is roiling crimson and pounding blood. They make a good contrast, but it can't stay peaceful with all the secrets Elrohir carries.Thanks forreviewing- IJ really appreciate it, Gabriel.

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: May 22, 2017 7:04 · For: Chapter 1
Wow! Great fight scene Ziggy.
Poor Elrohir, all fire and fury, I wish someone would hurry up and figure out what's going on with him-he's so tortured and of course everything he feels and does stems from this. {Damn Nazgul, planting images and beliefs that aren't his.}
Great scene between them though. I was a little afraid that Legolas would leave Elrohir in a mess; knowing how fast and how deadly Legolas is with those knives and how much slower Elrohir would be with a sword to wield, not that he's not a great swordsman or anything.
I was secretly hoping neither of them would win, just come away bruised and bleeding both in ego and body, only because I like both of them.
Great stuff! :D

Author's Response:

Thank you Gabriel- this must have gone into my junk box because I have only discovered it by accident:( But what a lovely surprise!! I'm not sure which chapter this is as they are all cimg up for chapter 1 but I'm guessing it's the scene where Elrohir jumps Legolas on the pier on the way to minas tirith? I admit I am rather pleased with that one. I didn't know until that scene that Elrohir really wanted Legolas.Glad you enjoyed it:)

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2017 5:10 · For: Chapter 1
I really do like the Silvan's ability, {Legolas in particular}, to connect to the land and the thread 'Song'that binds all life together.
I like how Legolas can read a person {Or in this case} a collective energy,'the dead' by feeling or connecting to the song'.
Love it. :)

Author's Response:

Yes- Legolas has a particular abilty to hear the Song- I like to think that this is why Gandalf chooses him actually, as well as his quietness and skills. He is able to hear the dissonance then unless other magic suppresses it- I must get something into the current fic about Sauron deliberating working something into the rings to disguise their dissonance! I like that idea of 'collective energy'.

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2017 13:11 · For: Chapter 1
I thoroughly enjoy reading about Legolas and Gimli, their banter back and forth and their ongoing competitive Orc kill count always draws a laugh.
I do like a good battle scene, so I can't wait to see all these characters in action.
Great reading. :)

Author's Response:

So gald you are enjopying this one too, Gabriel! You might notice sometimes it doesn't quite follow everything in earlier fics because this was the second story I wrote after Songs of Rohan/Deeper than breathing. So there are things that I hadn't realised- so the orc that Legolas shoots and deprives Elrohir of his revenge isn't in this. 


Anyway- I think there are some good battle scenes in this too!

Thank you:)

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: May 01, 2017 11:34 · For: Chapter 1
I hope I'm reading this in the right sequence.
Ziggy, you write Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli so beautifully, I feel like I'm watching a movie. It's in the way you describe little details about each character and the relationships between them. Great stuff. :)

Author's Response:

The sequence is this:

Black Arrow

More Dangerous

Through a Glass

Deeper than Breathing/ also I have it titlted as Songs of Rohan on some sites

Sons of Thunder

Where the Shadows lie.



Hope that helps Gabriel.

Thank you for that very lovely comment- I admit I enjoy writing these three. They just feel right together and usually write themselves. They are different enough to give a really good dynamic.

Name: Starfox (Signed) · Date: February 05, 2017 1:42 · For: Chapter 21 The Remains of the Fellowship
Sorry for nagging, but I really think you should extend this or the next chapter a bit.

If Elladan was supposed to go with Legolas, it's even more confusing. So how did Legolas meet up with Elrohir and decide to go with him instead of Elladan? Did Elrohir wait for him at the stables? How did he convince him to go with him? One would think that he would prefer Elladan's company for his last hours who was at least sympathetic instead of outright hostile like his brother.

But then, since he was going to his death anyway, maybe he didn't care.

Name: Starfox (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2017 23:01 · For: Chapter 21 The Remains of the Fellowship
There's always the possibility for a missing scene ;-)


But before the confrontation between Legolas and Elrohir Elladan told Elrohir that Gandalf wishes to speak with them. So he was about to tell them of his plans concerning Legolas. They were obviously together when Gandalf revealed that Legolas was to confront the Nazgul and that one of them was to deliver the Milui-Criss. So it seems that they agreed that Elrohir would go with Legolas and I wonder why Elladan agreed to that after he witnessed how badly Elrohir treated Legolas.

Author's Response:

Ah- but it was Elladan who was supposed to go! There's something later on that tells you that but I can't remember where- maybe I'll add a line into that chapter to make it clear!!

Name: Starfox (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2017 20:40 · For: Chapter 21 The Remains of the Fellowship
I would have loved to read about the conversation between Gandalf and the twins when he explains them his plan. Elrohir's reaction would have been interesting and I also wonder why Elladan let him volunteer, despite the ugly scene between Elrohir and Legolas that he witnessed.

Author's Response:

Glad you are reading this, Starfox. That conversation would indeed be interesting- now I think about it I wonder why I didn't write that.  I suppose I was interested in the Fellowship in particular. 


Elladan didn't know either- the end of hte chpater says:

One of the sons of Elrond stood there, staring with the same look of horror and loss on his face, elven-fair. His eyes travelled then to Gimli.


'They are gone then,' he said. 'They are gone and not even farewell.' And Elladan covered his eyes with his strong, swordsman's hand much the way Aragorn had.


I am quite sure Elladan would not have let Elrohir go had he known and both Legolas and Elrohir leave too early for anyone to stop them. 


Name: Caunedhiel (Signed) · Date: December 14, 2016 1:18 · For: Chapter 46 Submission
I don't know why I haven't read this before but ziggy it really is fantastic! Couldn't stop reading once I started so I have had a tired couple of days XD your descriptions of the elves were really fab and I loved the companionship between Legolas and gimli , it didn't feel forced it felt just right. I nearly cried when the nazgul had nearly severed legolas' spirit from his body, I felt so sorry for elrohir. Will there be a sequel? I hope both Elladan and elrohir go west, I don't think I could bear it elrohir chose the gift of men for the twins and for Legolas as well! I really enjoyed reading and I'm kicking myself that I've only just found it but I'm glad I have another favourite story to re read :)

Author's Response:

I thought this was a SPAM review first so it's just lovely to get this, Caunedhiel- thank you so much for reviewing.

OK- glad you liked the descriptions- I work hard on those and yet Gimli is always so easy to write- I find him the easiest of any character actually.


Sequel already being posted- although there are several prequels you might want to read first as they set the scene for the sequel to this story. It will make more sense but I always try to tell the back stories anyway so no matter f you don't want oto wade trhough a ton of other stuff.


Thank you for the lovely compliments- you've made my day!

Name: jules (Signed) · Date: October 07, 2015 10:07 · For: Chapter 46 Submission
this is the most wonderful story. you have filled out the characters of the fellowship much more than Tolkien ever did, yet they remain consistent with the glimpses we get when reading the original story. I am going to find it difficult to think of those characters as anything else than the way you have portrayed them! And the way you have blended the narrative in with the LOTR timeline! Very clever! Again, this story seems to fill in some awful big gaps in the original.

Author's Response:

Oh my- I am so  sorry that I have not replied to your review sooner, jules! I have just been so immersed in work these last few weeks but even so, inexcusable!

Thank you for these lovely comments that ar so encouraging and appreciative. I really love Tolkien's original characters and so it is good to hear that you feel they are consistent but more revealed. And I try to keep within the timeline because as you say, there is a lot of space to write within:)

Thank you again.

Name: jennieross (Signed) · Date: August 18, 2015 19:35 · For: Chapter 1
Hi, this isn't a review so much as a big "Thank You" for several nights of exciting reading. I enjoyed Songs of Rohan first, found Legolas so thrilling that the slight introduction to Elrohir made me go to More Dangerous. I had started Black Arrow but the Elrohir introduction was too much for me. Finished More Dangerous and couldn't wait to read Sons of Thunder. Wonderful series. I so admired the different story lines being entertwined to complete a whole for the reader (me). Beautifully done, and with great artistry. I loved Gimli, if I had been unhoused I would have come back for him too. The scene where Legolas finds Gimli enjoying his ale after a bet with Aragorn was much more fun and enjoyable than the drinking scene that was left out of the movies. Also, I at last understood Gandalf who has always been too much of a mystery for me.
My very best wishes.

Author's Response:

Dear Jennie- you have given me a lot of pleasure with your lovely comments and encouragement. I am so gald you are enjoying what I've scribbled and I do appreciate you taking the time to tell me. I don't remeber all thsoe scenes- but I love the fact that you were missing elrohir n Black Arrow!!! I recommend you read Spiced Wine's spin off Dark Star as well - beautifully written and again, just spins another story from this idea.


I love Gimli -he is always very easy to write. Thankyou for recognising his quality.:)


And Gandalf- yes. He is far more than he appears. He has a plan that is yet to be revelaed, quite apart from the Ring:/


Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: July 23, 2015 10:14 · For: Chapter 46 Submission
Well you know I don't think your Legolas and Elrohir could EVER be boring.....even just bumping along in a new relationship......I don't think boring is something they do!

Author's Response:

Well, maybe not. I'm just writing a nicely charged scene where the two stories are merging.Defintely NOT boring:)

Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: June 06, 2015 22:43 · For: Chapter 46 Submission
I have to be honest, when I started re-reading this I did not believe you could pull it off. I did not think you could make such a major change to Elrohir and his motivations and have me believe all his behaviour actually stemmed from an external source and not his own nature, not without major major editing.

However you have, apart from a few small instances which had me thinking "that cant be right" it truly was as if you had planned this all along.....are you SURE you didnt??

I know previously you were astonished that even when he took the web from Legolas I still didn't like him, I think that was because although...yes he wanted to save Legolas....it seemed essentially still a selfish act. He wanted to die, he wanted to chose the way of Men so he could escape his guilt, he didn't think of Elladan and Legolas who he left behind. It was a dramatic act of suicide and did he really save Legolas? For what did he save him? To spend his eternal life which he has no way of escaping in soul destroying grief. Yeah thanks for that Elrohir. He could not even claim not to know that was what would happen. Legolas had told him as much.

This time round he is victim, a victim of what has been a long long struggle against evil planted within him. He has been changed from a selfish, self absorbed creature to someone who has strived continually to best the evil he doesn't even know is there and the worst of his selfishness now seems to be his mind being manipulated. I no longer believe that is Elrohir as he truly is. I did before.

Now I want to see him healed. He Defiantely is not yet. I want to see him rid of that false memory, to know he is free of that guilt and I want Elladan and Legolas to know it too. He deserves more than those two he loves believing him capable of that. I want to get to know Elrohir as he was meant to be. I started to be won over by Elrohir in MDLW as I began to understand his homophobia and self hatred and see him as a victim of abuse. But now I think also because in that he was Elrohir as he should be, I want to see more of that but I cant until he is free of the spell.

How will you do that? Who will free him? Gandalf hasn't worked it out, Legolas has no reason to suspect it. Elladan is the only one if he can access those memories of when he was injured with the morgul blade. It has felt all along the key to destroying the spell is love, the love of Elladan and Legolas.

At the moment Elrohir with the spell on board feels like a timebomb waiting, waiting for the right circumstances that will make it explode in everyones face and Legolas is most likely to be the one hurt in That. I know you said Legolas should be safe because he knows what Elrohir was capable of, he knows his deepest darkest imaginings.........but he doesn't know WHY! That I think makes him vunerable. It is not just his lover he is dealing with but something much stronger and darker. He won't be able to protect himself against that without knowing its existance.

The conversation they have here about rape gives me cause for concern. I feel from what Legolas has to say here that the attack upon him on the Seaspray is something he will not be able to accept. (In fact he has forgiven so much. He has spent the whole story forgiving things he maybe should not have that it may feel completely wrong if he caves and forgives that too.) I don't know, I just get the vibe it is something he would never never be able to understand. Maybe the only way he could come to terms with it is knowing of the spell, knowing it actually wasn't Elrohir who did that. Thats just the feeling I get.

As for Elladan, so he has seen who is one the last ship and I get the feeling he is not one of them......although he doesn't mention that Elrohir was on it either but Legolas has already said he wont leave without Elrohir so I have to assume he is on the ship. So the question is.....does Elladan stay behind for Imrahil and choose The way of Men? Or is it Erestor he stays with and he chooses The Elves? For Erestor will not leave Middle Earth until he has found Maglor, he has told us that. I will pin my hopes on that outcome. That is what I want!
Poor Imrahil,I liked him the first time I read this but now he annoys me, I just want him to GO AWAY! and leave Elladan alone!!!

Sorry This is a novel length review. Just have to say thanks! The story is SO much better for me. It has had a whole other layer placed into it. I am on Elrohir's side now. Please, please, please let me see him as he really should be! I was going to say I thought you really should now encourage people to read 'Through a Glass Darkly' first as it changes this story so much....but now I wonder maybe it is better the order I originally read them then you get that whole "OMG I completely misread Elrohir this whole time" moment! I definately would recommend everyone reading them now go back and read this again. It has been so rewarding to do that.

P.s. I had somehow managed to completely forget all about Gandalf's thing for Marion!!!! How could I do that?!

Author's Response:

I don't know why but this has only just popped int my inbox- and so I haven't replied to all thes elovely reviews you sent. THANK YOU!!


I actually think your determined dislike for Elrohir is what made me write him differently, and made me do the ANgmar thing!!! YOu are my inspiration:)

I do agree with you that Legolas will find it REALLY hard to forgive the assault upon him- it's so anti-silvan cutlure. But I do have something else up my sleeve first...you have to remember Haldir as well:) He seduced and corrupted Elrohir when he was innocent so he has never simply fallen in love and had that discovery of sex in that innocent way that you do when you are with someone of your own age. Haldir is very complicated and of course, you have to wonder what might happen when Legolas passes through and as the Porf says, much of his time was spent with the Galadhrim, ands ometimes he took Gilmi with him-but not always. What on earth was he up to during those times do you think?? Knowing what Legoals is like?? But just to go back to your point about Legolas forgiving things- even under a spell would not really excuse Elrohir for what he did- even if he didn't actually do any physical harm and Legolas didn't know, it]s the spiritual corruption that allowed him to do that. 


Elladan- ah. I have his story working itself out slowly with Through a Glass and then in Imrahil, but I do think that he might be the focus of the sequel of Sons- Legolas and Elrohir are sort of working things out but it doesn't make for very intersting reading to just see a new relationship bumping along- but Elladan and Imrahil, with Erestor in the background who is about to be releeased from his promise to MAedhros to take care of Elrond, and free therefore to pursue his unbiddne oath - that will be intersting. He won't leave without MAglor...and I haven't thought about how that is to be resolved. I'm interested in the Mirror though and have to write about that after the war- Galadriel and Elrond have some work to do there.


Yes- Gandalf and Mairon- need to do more of htat too.


I don't really have time to go to work!!


Thank you again my dear.


Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: June 06, 2015 11:37 · For: Chapter 37 The Last Deep Breath
I love this, they are riding to certain death and yet they are all gossiping about Legolas and Elrohir like a bunch of old women. So funny!

Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: June 06, 2015 3:39 · For: Chapter 31 Confession
This chapter is the first time things felt a little wrong, when Gandalf is thinking, pondering on Elrohir and his motivations he does not think of Angmar and the encounter that he disturbed in the past ,( obviously because you had not written it), but he should have. As he thought of Elrohir treating with the Nasgul and spoke to him he should have mentioned that because he knows Elrohir was trying to bargain for Elladan then and he would know it was connected.

However later in the scene when he searches deep into Elrohir's mind and almost discovers the false memory but is pushed back.....that felt right, as if he was on the cusp of identifying the spell and its damage but that spell is well protected.
Still possibly he should have thought on that near discovery more deeply.

And then we have the worst fallout from Angmar's spell. The destruction of Elrohir's relationship with Elladan. I wonder if Angmar wanted that or if it is a lucky coincidence.

Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: June 05, 2015 23:10 · For: Chapter 28 The Houses of Healing
I had forgotten what a terrible time you give Aragorn in this story! The poor guy cant do anything right!!

Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: June 05, 2015 22:05 · For: Chapter 27 Fireflies
Oh the fireflies of Legolas's fea remind me of Maedhros scattered across the void!

Interesting that Elladan seems stronger than Elrohir, he can discard the ring and the major difference, he is able to distinguish which feelings are his own and which have been imposed upon him. I guess because the spell was not cast upon him directly. Or perhaps because the heart of him is less damaged than Elrohir who has damage layered upon damage so to speak.

Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: June 05, 2015 21:56 · For: Chapter 26 Kham
Wow, powerful! More so than before.

First, it was so heartbreaking to see Elladan believe Elrohir's false memory and to see the damage that wrecked upon them. "It is not true Elladan!"

And then.....I guess it was the power of Angmar's ring....but it felt as though, that knowledge was corrupting him also, as though Angmar's spell was spreading outwards and engulfing the other brother. Terrifying and so so powerful.

And at the end when Elladan cannot believe Elrohir had made a deal with the Nazgul for Legolas, he is so horrified at that thought, BUT I know, the deal was actually made months ago......for HIS life!

This chapter I feel is the one so far that has been the most changed, and you don't have to alter a word. It was painful to read Elladan's growing awareness of what Elrohir was capable of before but now........so many other layers have been added to it, the tension is incredible, ( will Elladan be taken by the spell as well?) and it breaks my heart to see his pain at what is a memory that never happened at all!


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