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And in spring be reborn by Kalendeer General Audiences
Reembodied in Valinor, Dior finds relief from grief from the most surprising person.   Beleriand had sang. Her waterfalls...
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Annatar takes a brooding Celebrimbor for a walk in the snow.
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Legolas’ suffers a brief wobble in confidence in the face of an exasperated Captain. His friend, fellow new recruit Faervel...
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Tuor falls in love with the Prince instead of the Princess and Idril betrays Gondolin.
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When Ost-in-Edhil falls, Galadriel flees with her daughter to the safety of Lindórinand, while Celeborn has to follow...
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Tolkien wrote about two lakes; in my mind they connected, as perhaps they already had in his. An encounter on the shore...

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Name: FirstAmazon (Signed) · Date: February 14, 2020 18:15 · For: Chapter 20

Amazing two chapters, Beth! I'm loving all the interactions between Finarfin and Finrod, and then seeing fiery, fierce Aegnor. Of course, Maeglin and Elmírion, but I can't help thinking their relation will be somehow damaged when all Maeglin's memories come back, or when Celebrimbor is reborn. I recall Maeglin was one of the few people he ever loved (if not the only one), and seeing him involved with his son will be very... weird hahaha no doubt he will feel betrayed (again) :(


Finrod looked away from the intimate moment, and found his father watching the pair with tenderness and sorrow, as if he looked not only on what was, but what could have been as he gazed at the descendents of his two proud brothers.


THIS. My god, breaking my heart into a million pieces - as you so frequently do. And this, coming from the "outsider" Finarfin is so beautiful, so redemptive! He doesn't hold any grudges, only loneliness. Oh, I love whom he has become!


And he's encounter with Turgon was shocking! All the tension, poor Finarfin! But even if I wish Turgon punished for what he did, I'm sure he went to speak on Maeglin's behalf, which is already something good. (Plus, is Turgon even higher than Maedhros? This is something I never foresaw!). 


You have me on the edge of my seat! Can't wait to see what's next!



Name: FirstAmazon (Signed) · Date: February 13, 2020 16:09 · For: Chapter 17

Well, well, well I'm loving all these suddenly reborn Finwëions! The rebels are coming back to us, little by little! What a great chapter! But oh my Maeglin </3 ! When he finally had found some inner peace, he's torn from Elmírion's side - who will also be crushed, oh poor things!

And I didn't like the man Turgon has become, but I can feel that Idril's punishment, however harsh, seems to be bearing fruits: I don't despise him anymore, because it feels to me that he does regret his previous behavior. Plus, to unravel some of his thoughts also brings light to why he was the way he was - and again, you do it brilliantly. I actually feel sorry for him, forgotten by everyone in his family (which doesn't mean I forgive what he did lol).



Name: FirstAmazon (Signed) · Date: February 13, 2020 15:22 · For: Chapter 16

Oooh I loved many ideas from this chapter! The Valar absorbing the Elven souls to stay alive, Varda's plan to rule beside Melkor, everything revolving to Fëanor's bright star... But, I won't accept that he truly believe Estë's lies! No, his sons would NEVER stop loving him, Fëanor can't truly believe that! D:

Can't wait to see what you'll do with the Valar, they're concepts are so very interesting!



Author's Response:

“Can't wait to see what you'll do with the Valar, they're concepts are so very interesting!

 

More ahead from where that came from :)  I defiantly want to try and flesh the Valar out from their hive-mind collective.  When we see them from the Elves’ POV, it makes sense that they seem like one menacing entity, but the Valar themselves don’t view themselves as such, and they each actually have their own past and future ambitions.

 

“But, I won't accept that he truly believe Estë's lies! No, his sons would NEVER stop loving him, Fëanor can't truly believe that! D:

 

Well….

 

Let’s just say he’s not in a good place right now and he needs his sons to straighten him out, but they defiantly will!



Name: FirstAmazon (Signed) · Date: February 13, 2020 0:04 · For: Chapter 1

And yeah, all that UST!  Feanor and Fingolfin never even got together before death!  And there are plenty of others who died without resolution -what would be the point of bringing them back if their stories were already over, you know?

 

Oh boy, don't even get me started with these two...! The one-shot on their rebirth you wrote for Spiced is beautiful, but it just made me crave for *so* much more! I really want them to finally solve all that crap from the past.

 

Oh, yeah, he defiantly does.  To me, his messing with Gildor's head when he was underage was the worst thing he did in life.  Like, the Kinslayings have their reasons for happening, Luthian's captivity had a reason, but even Curufin knows there was no justification for what he did with Gildor.  So, in that case, he knows exactly how bad it was, and it definitely played a role in his self-destruction as we saw in the chapter, so at least he's not in denial, but I doubt that's going to be good enough for Finrod!  Another question is: how does Gildor feel about what Curufin did now? (no spoilers :zip:)  Unfortunately I am leaving you hanging here without any answers!  Evil, I know :)

 

You evil tease! :S Of course you won't tell me anything, but I also wondered how will the relations play out for all the involved (Curufin and Finrod, Curufin and Gildor, Celebrimbor and Curufin - oh yes, I remember his thoughts about Annatar's smile). And now, Maeglin and Elmírion kind of have a fling (I read that chapter want to re-read it more carefully). You just keep adding fuel to the fire! lol oh well, I can't complain... I actually love it! xD



Author's Response:

“Oh boy, don't even get me started with these two...! The one-shot on their rebirth you wrote for Spiced is beautiful, but it just made me crave for *so* much more! I really want them to finally solve all that crap from the past.

 

Thank you :hugs:  And yes, I am right there with you!  It all comes down to the communication!  Like, things are never going to turn fluffy between these two, but right now they can’t see that they both want the same thing!  :fingers crossed for their rebirth: Only, you know I won’t make it THAT easy, will I :wink, wink:

 

“You evil tease! :S Of course you won't tell me anything, but I also wondered how will the relations play out for all the involved (Curufin and Finrod, Curufin and Gildor, Celebrimbor and Curufin - oh yes, I remember his thoughts about Annatar's smile). And now, Maeglin and Elmírion kind of have a fling (I read that chapter want to re-read it more carefully). You just keep adding fuel to the fire! lol oh well, I can't complain... I actually love it! xD

 

Ha!  I am an evil tease! (I’m trying to get better at not spilling the beans and spoiling!)  I like how you point out all the relationships crossing over and through the others!  So true, and it only makes things more complicated :)  I think that when we’ve got immortal Elves on our hands, many/most of which have outlived at least one lover, it’s inevitable that they will end up with a tidy collection by the end (looking at you Glorfindel).  Almost all the characters have the potential for having more than one lover by the time this thing is through.  But I doubt I will write a relationship that’s, say, a threesome (tho I’m not saying one won’t pop up in the writing….oh wait one already did! Eol/Miriel/Finwe/Anneth….ok so, anything goes :throws confetti:), but what I’m trying to say is that I could see Fingon/Glorfindel or Maedhros/Maglor hooking up (or all four!), but I don’t see it being a long-term four-member romantic relationship, you know?

 

Gods, I’m explaining this so badly!  I hope it will just turn out better in the actually story!



Name: FirstAmazon (Signed) · Date: February 11, 2020 15:43 · For: Chapter 13

All right, I'm back on your story (finally!). It's so sad to see Caranthir dreaming of his brothers, especially Curufin, without knowing if his love would ever be corresponded. I don't know the point of view for Curufin on this matter, but the fact that in the end he turned to Finrod gives me some sort of hope that Caranthir has a chance lol

Anyway, I adored the interaction between Caranthir and Eluréd. I bet they will learn a lot from one another.



Author's Response:

“I don't know the point of view for Curufin on this matter, but the fact that in the end he turned to Finrod gives me some sort of hope that Caranthir has a chance lol

 

You mean that he could be into guys?  Yeah, he’s defiantly bi.  And Caranthir being his brother won’t bother him.  It’s the state of his relationship with Caranthir that’s the problem.  Caranthir essentially spent centuries pushing Curufin away and often being quite nasty doing it.  There’s a lot of broken trust and pain there.  We will have to see if Curufin is willing to give Caranthir a chance to try and fix what he broke or not.  Curufin has a lot of his own issues to work on as well –this whole family needs mega therapy lol

 

“Anyway, I adored the interaction between Caranthir and Eluréd. I bet they will learn a lot from one another.

 

Aww!  I’m glad to hear it :) I was just thinking the other day about Eluréd, and was trying to pin down hobbies/interests/get a fully scope of his character, and I realized he doesn’t have any.  Not really.  He has the potential to have some –like I image he’d be into sewing/embroidery after his time with the Haladin—but his life has been about survival and trying not to drown under the weight of everything he’s been through up to now.  He’s a CSA survivor, and will carry those scars always, but I hope Caranthir/others he meets in Valinor will be able to help him find who he is outside of what has been done to him.



Name: FirstAmazon (Signed) · Date: February 05, 2020 23:30 · For: Chapter 1

"Thanks for the reminder   Always good to keep this in mind.  For all my plot plans tho, the story is going to be consumed by character development so it might end up that the big anticipated battle with the Valar only happens in the background or is pretty short compared to the set-up.  I actually like the idea of them spending a lot of time building up, gathering allies and the Dead, and then...the final show-down ends up not being this epic battle type thing.  I don't think it would feel like a let down since so much of the story is about the characters and their relationships.  I think the readers -and I- care more about those than the Valar-war...or maybe I'm wrong?"


 


Definitely not wrong. I for one want to see the resolution of all those USTs, even if it is to make them final xD I mean, I think the war against the Valar is inevitable, and as a background, it would feel pretty much coherent with the rest of your story - the wars in Beleriand or against Sauron were never the focus; it was always the people involved. But, again, it's your prerrogative and I'm sure I'll enjoy whatever your brilliant mind conjures.


 


"Finrod is going to find out, that's all I'm saying."


 


Damn, shistorm coming! But then, Curufin deserves it lol!



Author's Response:

"Definitely not wrong. I for one want to see the resolution of all those USTs, even if it is to make them final xD I mean, I think the war against the Valar is inevitable, and as a background, it would feel pretty much coherent with the rest of your story - the wars in Beleriand or against Sauron were never the focus; it was always the people involved. But, again, it's your prerrogative and I'm sure I'll enjoy whatever your brilliant mind conjures."

 

Ah, I'm glad you feel it too!  The characters are defiantly the focus, everything else is only important for how it effects the characters.  And yeah, all that UST!  Feanor and Fingolfin never even got together before death!  And there are plenty of others who died without resolution -what would be the point of bringing them back if their stories were already over, you know?


 "Finrod is going to find out, that's all I'm saying."

Damn, shistorm coming! But then, Curufin deserves it lol!'

 

Oh, yeah, he defiantly does.  To me, his messing with Gildor's head when he was underage was the worst thing he did in life.  Like, the Kinslayings have their reasons for happening, Luthian's captivity had a reason, but even Curufin knows there was no justification for what he did with Gildor.  So, in that case, he knows exactly how bad it was, and it definitely played a role in his self-destruction as we saw in the chapter, so at least he's not in denial, but I doubt that's going to be good enough for Finrod!  Another question is: how does Gildor feel about what Curufin did now? (no spoilers :zip:)  Unfortunately I am leaving you hanging here without any answers!  Evil, I know :)



Name: FirstAmazon (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2020 16:54 · For: Chapter 1

He's one of those characters tho who are pretty much OCs because of how little we know of them (so, like, every other character in the Silm lol).

OMG hahaha so true! I had never put it into so many words, but it's exactly how I feel. That's why I saw with such conviction you own these characters, because they're, in fact, yours ;)

Yeah, it no longer seems impossible to kill a Vala, which can give them hope.  The only thing is, I didn't want it to be too easy, so Varda has her plots and she's trying to bring the Valar back to strength.  Ulmo was quite faded after all, much easier to kill.  But if he didn't die, it would have been a lot harder to cross the seas.  I image Caranthir and Maglor never would have made it to Valinor if Ulmo was at full strength.  I also want to bring the Valar out from the hive, as it were.  They all have their own motivations and desires that don't always align.  We know about some, but I wanted to give each their own story, as it were.  We also see how their obsession with the Eternal Flame was not just limited to the Silmarils.  The Elves all have a small spark of the Flame in their fea as well, and many of the Valar were drawn to it/drawn to them, craving the Light.


I'm not expecting it to be easy - not coming from you! But I also don't want to make it sound like you need to push yourself into making something happen just to meet expectations. I know you, as all writers, feel you must, for your reader's sake, do it - all I want to say is trust your instincts. They've brought you this far :)

 

All good thoughts on the Finrod, Curufin, Caranthir tangle.  I'm trying to keep mum on it (and the story might still surprise me by swinging a different way), but I don't want to reveal and loose the mystery element :)  Hopefully it will all turn out well :)

Oh, you're making this look far too simple! You forgot to mention that in this tangle we also have Eluréd and Elurín (and whatever will happen between them and Caranthir), and Gildor, who not only is Finrod's son, but was also infatuated - perhaps more? - with Curufin xD

 

Oh yes, Finarfin has had a hard road indeed, and one many others of his family wouldn't have been able to walk.  He has learned patience and endurance, and how to survive in enemy territory.  Finrod is just now learning his father's wisdom.  His experience were quite different in Beleriand.  He certainly outgrew his younger self, and faced different hardships than Finarfin, but where Finarfin has grown into a quietly confident man (for all he doubts himself, he never doubts what he knows to be right), Finrod's experiences at the end of his first life left him with a lot of baggage to work though, but I hope he can face the pass before he does something he'll really regret.

You are spot on that Finarfin will never willingly tell what Turgon did to him.  To him, it would not help in keeping the peace and getting the Noldor to work together, which he puts above his own hurts.

Uhm, indeed, few of them could have endured being in the enemy's territory and still have gained a few consistent victories, like the rebirth of his sons. I'm certain Fëanor wouldn't have been able to do this, not even Fingolfin - and there's the beauty and tragedy of Finarfin's tale.

It's funny how I see a little of Eöl in him... the way he sees the world after Finrod is back reminds me of Eöl's innocent love for Finwë (without the sexual content, of course). Am I crazy? LOL

Thank you for these wonderful, wonderful reviews!!  They are so exciting :)

I confess I love the discussions that comes with reading! Big bookclubs fan here!

But it is I who have to thank you time and again for writing this amazing epic.



Author's Response:

"I'm not expecting it to be easy - not coming from you! But I also don't want to make it sound like you need to push yourself into making something happen just to meet expectations. I know you, as all writers, feel you must, for your reader's sake, do it - all I want to say is trust your instincts. They've brought you this far "

 

Thanks for the reminder   Always good to keep this in mind.  For all my plot plans tho, the story is going to be consumed by character development so it might end up that the big anticipated battle with the Valar only happens in the background or is pretty short compared to the set-up.  I actually like the idea of them spending a lot of time building up, gathering allies and the Dead, and then...the final show-down ends up not being this epic battle type thing.  I don't think it would feel like a let down since so much of the story is about the characters and their relationships.  I think the readers -and I- care more about those than the Valar-war...or maybe I'm wrong?

 

"Oh, you're making this look far too simple! You forgot to mention that in this tangle we also have Eluréd and Elurín (and whatever will happen between them and Caranthir), and Gildor, who not only is Finrod's son, but was also infatuated - perhaps more? - with Curufin xD"

 

Yes, you are quite right, there is a lot more involved than whether of not they can forgive each other.  No relationship happens in a vacum.  Gildor especailly will be an importan peice, not only because he had a serious crush on Curufin, but because of Curufin's taking advantage of that what gildor wasn't of age.  Finrod is going to find out, that's all I'm saying.

 

"It's funny how I see a little of Eöl in him... the way he sees the world after Finrod is back reminds me of Eöl's innocent love for Finwë (without the sexual content, of course). Am I crazy?"

 

No, I can see it.  It's probably the lack of memories at this point.  Before the Dead regain their memories, they are essentially the age since their Rebirth.  Elmririon and Maeglin are about 5 years old when they meet Finrod.  Well, 5 years of experiance with the world, but with an adult brain, and a developed personality.

 

"I confess I love the discussions that comes with reading! Big bookclubs fan here!"

 

I'm right there with you   Discussing the story is so rewarding, not only because every author likes talking about their stories lol but because reviews so often get me thinking about the characters from differnt angles, veiwing them from another's eyes; new insites and ideas often spring from discussions, and I for one will never say no to that!



Name: FirstAmazon (Signed) · Date: January 23, 2020 19:15 · For: Chapter 12
/He will see you do not act the same, but tell him braking Thingol’s slave collar made me a butterfly birthing from its cocoon. Tell him you feel like red has become blue, and blue yellow. Tell him that the sunlight does not giggle to you anymore, and raccoons do not wave their bushy tails in hello. He will believe you because the words come from my lips./

/I should tell him the truth. What is the point of deceiving him other than sewing a fucking mess?/

/I might be flown away for weeks and weeks. Then Eluréd would be all alone. He needs to have someone or he will fly away from his body too./

/You are saying Eluréd would fade. But I will tell him you will not be gone forever./

/They will not be my lips telling him. He will not believe. He will be angry-sad and do something bad. You must promise not to tell./

/This is a fucking stupid idea that is never going to work,/ Caranthir grumbled.


OH MY GOD, YES, this is such a mess! Of course Elurín couldn't predict that being lied to, and having to deal with all that comes with it, is much worse than facing the truth? Maybe they could work together to bring Elurín back, but I have no idea where this's going (and that's amazing, you're always unpredictable with your turning points!).

I also love how Caranthir reacts. He's so much like himself. It's beautiful, funny and heartbreaking

Author's Response:
"Of course Elurín couldn't predict that being lied to, and having to deal with all that comes with it, is much worse than facing the truth?"

You're right.  In some ways, Elurín is wise, in others, it's hard for him to put himself in the average person's shoes.  It was a tough choice tho, after they decided to act now, they had no way of communicating what they intended before Elurín was gone.  But still you are right that lying made things worse.

"I also love how Caranthir reacts. He's so much like himself. It's beautiful, funny and heartbreaking"

Thank you so much!  Caranthir has a distinct voice, and it is a worry of mine that I don't always hit it.  Caranthir is a no-nonsense kind of guy, tho he's more of a romantic than you'd think at first glance :)  I am so glad you enjoyed this!  Us authors always crave that feed back to make sure things are still on track, don't we :)



Name: FirstAmazon (Signed) · Date: January 23, 2020 15:12 · For: Chapter 10
OMFG!!!! They KILLED Ulmo!!! Go, Aegnor! I never really empathised with his character, but he was incredible! And the realisation that they CAN do this makes me wish Glorfindel and Maglor could listen to the tale back in Middle-Earth and make haste to take their revenge hehe.

The chapter was amazing (as usual)! I loved the idea of the sea-prison, and the whole battle had me on the edge of my seat. Ossë is a frequent left-aside character, but I love you gave him the reckless, bold spirit of sea storms. It's how it's supposed to be, really.

About the Curufin/Finrod relationship, although I see them knocking their heads off, but still loving one another, I can't see them really together as a couple, you know? I think Curufin's pride would never allow him to ask for Finrod's forgiveness - which makes me think (wish) that Caranthir actually has a chance with his brother, especially after learning about Fëanor and Fingolfin's relationship (as I'm sure the children eventually will. I remember Maglor saw in Fingolfin the lust he had for his father, so I imagine it wouldn't take long for him to realize it's more than just that - and, of course, there's also Maglor loving Maedhros thing. Geez, what a mess xD).

And poor Finarfin. I feel for him. He's been dispised by everyone, and Finrod will learn only too slowly the loneliness and heartache of his father's heart, being in Aman for so very long without being able to do nothing except bow his head. I wonder if Finarfin will ever tell anyone about have been stripped of his manhood - if for his Finwëion pride, I suppose not, but I can also see his brothers looking right through him (and being completely enraged with Turgon, looking for blood).

Again, amazing! Can't wait to devour the rest of the story :P

Author's Response:
"Go, Aegnor! I never really empathised with his character, but he was incredible!"

I know what you mean.  I didn't pay him much attention when the series started either, he was a character that didn't have much color for me.  But then I read this line by Andreth " “I was young and I looked on his flame, and now I am old and lost. He was young and his flame leaped towards me, but he turned away, and he is young still. Do candles pity moths?”" and Finrod's description of him as a warrior through and through, and I got curious.  He's one of those characters tho who are pretty much OCs because of how little we know of them (so, like, every other character in the Silm lol).

"And the realisation that they CAN do this makes me wish Glorfindel and Maglor could listen to the tale back in Middle-Earth and make haste to take their revenge hehe."

Yeah, it no longer seems impossible to kill a Vala, which can give them hope.  The only thing is, I didn't want it to be too easy, so Varda has her plots and she's trying to bring the Valar back to strength.  Ulmo was quite faded after all, much easier to kill.  But if he didn't die, it would have been a lot harder to cross the seas.  I image Caranthir and Maglor never would have made it to Valinor if Ulmo was at full strength.  I also want to bring the Valar out from the hive, as it were.  They all have their own motivations and desires that don't always align.  We know about some, but I wanted to give each their own story, as it were.  We also see how their obsession with the Eternal Flame was not just limited to the Silmarils.  The Elves all have a small spark of the Flame in their fea as well, and many of the Valar were drawn to it/drawn to them, craving the Light.

"Ossë is a frequent left-aside character, but I love you gave him the reckless, bold spirit of sea storms."

Yes, exactly.  He is the impersonation of a storm, its destruction, chaos, and unexpectedness.  I am glad he came off well!

All good thoughts on the Finrod, Curufin, Caranthir tangle.  I'm trying to keep mum on it (and the story might still surprise me by swinging a different way), but I don't want to reveal and loose the mystery element :)  Hopefully it will all turn out well :)

"He's been dispised by everyone, and Finrod will learn only too slowly the loneliness and heartache of his father's heart, being in Aman for so very long without being able to do nothing except bow his head."

Oh yes, Finarfin has had a hard road indeed, and one many others of his family wouldn't have been able to walk.  He has learned patience and endurance, and how to survive in enemy territory.  Finrod is just now learning his father's wisdom.  His experience were quite different in Beleriand.  He certainly outgrew his younger self, and faced different hardships than Finarfin, but where Finarfin has grown into a quietly confident man (for all he doubts himself, he never doubts what he knows to be right), Finrod's experiences at the end of his first life left him with a lot of baggage to work though, but I hope he can face the pass before he does something he'll really regret.

You are spot on that Finarfin will never willingly tell what Turgon did to him.  To him, it would not help in keeping the peace and getting the Noldor to work together, which he puts above his own hurts.

Thank you for these wonderful, wonderful reviews!!  They are so exciting :)


Name: Kalendeer (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2020 21:18 · For: Chapter 1

"Intersting idea about Namo!!  I wonder tho, even if restored to his former self, WOULD he throw his lot in with the Elves?  Or would he focus on trying to undo the damage of the ages on the Valar?  They are his kin, after all, and his wife is there among the Valar who have partually faded, would he really go to war with the intent of destorying them?"

I guess that would be dependant of the soul consummed? Really, I can picture him doing one or the other. I mean, if he were to consumme, let's say, Finwë, I do not think Fëanor would remain chained for long. On the other hand give him Thingol and everyone is doomed.



Author's Response:

Oh good points!  Yes, the soul in question will have an effect, as we see with Valar’s choice of Irime’s soul.  

I will keep playing around with this thought :)  Thank you for the great discussion; I love it when you guys stir up idea for future chapters!



Name: Kalendeer (Signed) · Date: January 15, 2020 6:54 · For: Chapter 1

I was wondering if Namo had started fading! Perhaps the best that could happen to the elves now would be for Namo to actually get an elf-soul and start moving against Varda lol. As a Feanturi he may be able to release their memories and IDK he would have a pretty rad army of the dead if he woke up. Or perhaps Estë/Celebrian could help, but perhaps that would require too much revolt for her and Varda would squash.

By the way when I read the part about Varda wanting Fëanor's soul for Melkor, due to the chapter I am currently working on I felt like OMG YOU TOO (no, that's not the same idea, just playing with the Fëanor&Melkor similarities). Poor guy just can't get a break, hope Caranthir gets here before he gets eaten >_<



Author's Response:
"By the way when I read the part about Varda wanting Fëanor's soul for Melkor, due to the chapter I am currently working on I felt like OMG YOU TOO (no, that's not the same idea, just playing with the Fëanor&Melkor similarities)."
It's it ironic how much they have in common?  They both refuse to conform to the norm, both are rebels in their own way, but in the end they are so very very differnt because of the choices they made.  The Kinslaying was a horror, but I would argue Feanor didn't go there planning to kill anyone and it happened in the chaos of the moment.  But Melkor knowingly choose to destroy and had no empathy for his victums, unlike the Feanorions.
"Or perhaps Estë/Celebrian could help, but perhaps that would require too much revolt for her and Varda would squash."
Yes, Este will have a role to play...how much help she'll be is yet to be seen, tho!  Intersting idea about Namo!!  I wonder tho, even if restored to his former self, WOULD he throw his lot in with the Elves?  Or would he focus on trying to undo the damage of the ages on the Valar?  They are his kin, after all, and his wife is there among the Valar who have partually faded, would he really go to war with the intent of destorying them?  
I did have an idea for Varda's check, as it were, tho we will see how it works, and it will be awhile yet before it's revealed!  I can't let everything out of the bag :)


Name: Kalendeer (Signed) · Date: January 15, 2020 6:47 · For: Chapter 1

"You are probably right here.  I can't think of a way Idril could let Maeglin go without uncrowning herself.  But, where she is character wise now, she didn't WANT to let him go.  She was quite sure she was the servent of justice here."

Well the chapter was from Maeglin's point of view so of course it is easy to root for him, but I won't blame Idril for being a tad angry with the guy who tried to kill her son. It's not like she had any reason to change her mind about him in the downtime.

I am currious about who got her to change her mind once she decided to change his punishment into something less harsh, especially Turgon as it could be the start of him being a BIT less horrible (though I really cringed when poor Finarfin had to see him again, that reminded me just how vile Turgon can be). Finrod and Finarfin were right that coming in group wasn't going to work that well.



Author's Response:
You are absolutly right about the POV affect.  Next chapter we finally see things from Idril's POV!  And you are right too that Idril has a right to be angry about Maeglin trying to kill Eariendil, and, since she has no experiance with someone post-torture, I can even understand how she don't understand how not being in Angband anymore did not mean Maeglin did not carry the torture back with him.  She thinks that since he didn't warn anyone, it reflects negativly on his character; while we, the readers, know how messed up Maeglin's thought process was after Angband.

Turgon did speak the truth about Maeglin: that Maeglin had been tortured.  He didn't try to taint his report with negative biases, but he didn't have glowing praise either.  He's still conflicted when it comes to Maeglin because of their last meeting where he saw Maeglin with a Feanorion.  I don't think Turgon has passed beyond a chance of redemption, but, as we saw with Finarfin, he has done some really terrible things.  And what he allowed to happened to the Wood-elves in Gondolin was horrific, no matter how much he tells himself HE didn't praticipate in any evil.


Name: Kalendeer (Signed) · Date: January 12, 2020 12:06 · For: Chapter 20

I like how your characters are always very humane, very flawed, and even their bad decisions usually come from very believable flaws (except you Thingol, you vile thing). Idril is a very good antagonist here are it is very easy to believe she wants to do good, to be a good ruler and fix things, but at the same time she is in her own head and cannot always see the truth.

Elenwë as always strikes me as one of my favorite female character in your verse. From the beginning I loved how she was written, how she grew with the fairly conservative outlook she had at the beginning, but still had a lot of strength. Elenwë is like a picture of the "traditionnal madonna", motherly, kind, beautiful, but because those traits fit her and were chosen by her. She still had room to evolve, question, and chose who she wants to be, and I find that very beautiful. Her I liked her compassion, and she also has a lot of courage because she had that same compassion during Maeglin's trial and dared to speak when almost everyone wanted him slaughtered.

 

I hope Finrod and Curufin are reunited one day and can talk this over, poor Finrod breaks my heart T_T



Author's Response:
"I like how your characters are always very humane, very flawed, and even their bad decisions usually come from very believable flaws (except you Thingol, you vile thing). Idril is a very good antagonist here are it is very easy to believe she wants to do good, to be a good ruler and fix things, but at the same time she is in her own head and cannot always see the truth."
This feels really good to hear!  I don't know if it's a common thing for other writers, but creating beleiveable characters who don't come off as two dementional, is something I oftern worry about.  So it feels escially realeiving to hear you say this!  And I glad Idril escpecially came off this way.  I don't want her to be a villian, just a complicated person whose beleifs are not quite alligned with our main characters but who doesn't have bad intentions, just makes mistakes.

I love your interpretation of Elenwë!  She did feel madonna like in the begining, but, as you say, she has grown to be more than that.  And she no doubt still has growing to do.  She's by nature a very compationate person who sees the best in people, but that can also be a weakness as we saw when Turgon first came back.  But she found herself again and pulled through.

One day Finrod and Curufin will talk!  What happens after we shall see!
Thank you, thank you for all these wonderful reviews!  You have blessed me :hugs:


Name: Kalendeer (Signed) · Date: January 12, 2020 1:56 · For: Chapter 18

Okay looks like Turgon is still in denial afterall, and in the end he looks like he is lost in a sea of self loathing, very low self estime, denial and despair. I kind of pity him for feeling so unloved, especially back when he was younger (I have no pity for what he made with Gondolin).



Author's Response:
"I kind of pity him for feeling so unloved, especially back when he was younger"
Ah, but WAS he unloved?  Or has his mind cherry-picked the memories to hold on to?  I do think that by the time Fingolfin died, he had come to love Fingon best, but that had a lot to do with Turgon's own choices.  In Valinor, as a child, I don't beleive Fingolfin loved any of his children more or less than the others, however I can see how Turgon and Aredhel might have thought he loved Fingon best because Fingon was the most like Fingolfin as was the easiest to connect to and understand.  But Turgon did have people who loved him, he just chose to push them all away after Elwene died.
"and in the end he looks like he is lost in a sea of self loathing, very low self estime, denial and despair."
This is an interesting observation!  While Turgon has a lot of pride, he also hates himself for not saving Elwene.  I think a lot of his other points of low esteem are so tangled up with his hatered (like his feelings for Fingon), that he doesn't even realize how much he's comparing himself to Fingon and finding himself coming up short. He only conciously dispariges Fingon, naming all Fingon's faults and none of his strengths.  But his relationship is so full of jelousy and hurt and anger, it's impossible for him, right now, to figure out what he really feels.


Name: Kalendeer (Signed) · Date: January 12, 2020 1:32 · For: Chapter 17

Poor Maeglin, his unluck is kind of phenomenal here :/ I really felt sad for him as Elenwë is right, he doesn't know a thing and gets punished for things he knows almost nothing of. At least Idril tried to shield him a little, and I don't know if she could have done any better since the news of his arrival would have spread anyway after his arrival at the palace.

I really hope things can work out between Maeglin and Turgon. Turgon really was horrible at the beginning of the fic, but I don't think he is impossible to redeem (well basically, he isn't Thingol) and perhaps Maeglin can be his chance?



Author's Response:
I can't seem to stop torturing my favs lol
"At least Idril tried to shield him a little, and I don't know if she could have done any better since the news of his arrival would have spread anyway after his arrival at the palace."
You are probably right here.  I can't think of a way Idril could let Maeglin go without uncrowning herself.  But, where she is character wise now, she didn't WANT to let him go.  She was quite sure she was the servent of justice here.
"I really hope things can work out between Maeglin and Turgon. Turgon really was horrible at the beginning of the fic, but I don't think he is impossible to redeem (well basically, he isn't Thingol) and perhaps Maeglin can be his chance?"
I don't think Turgon is beyond redemption either, even tho he's done some pretty horrible things.  But it will require a lot of work on Turgon's part.  Right now, he doesn't beleive he's done anything too terriblely wrong.  He's nursing his anger against everyone else and blaming them for all his mistakes.  Until he is ready to face what he did, he can't change.


Name: Kalendeer (Signed) · Date: January 11, 2020 0:24 · For: Chapter 16

I am happy at Namo's rigidity in this chapter. When I reread the part about Fëanor in the Halls, I had a feeling Namo wasn't exactly cruel on purpose, but rather so focussed on Justice he was inhumanly bound to it... and that he wasn't really in favor of Fëanor taking all thoses crimes (as he insisted he would then spend as much time in prison as Melkor). I am not that surprised that he would now "defend" him, though this is Namo we are speaking about and it's not exactly stellar.

Varda: absolutly chilling. You do write great and terrifying villains, and the Valar consuming the souls of elves is a stroke of genius!



Author's Response:

 I had a feeling Namo wasn't exactly cruel on purpose, but rather so focussed on Justice he was inhumanly bound to it”

Yes, you have it exactly.  He’s not malicious, but rather unable to feel compassion.  He was, essentially, become justice (or what he/the Valar believe is justice, as I don’t think even the most vengeful of the Feanorions’ kills would have condemned Feanor to that kind of suffering).  Namo has, in his own way, faded like some of the other Valar.  He hasn’t become spiritless, but he has lost what was left of his ability to feel empathy, and now only understands the most stripped-down of justice: a crime committed requires suffering to balance the scales.

“Varda: absolutly chilling. You do write great and terrifying villains, and the Valar consuming the souls of elves is a stroke of genius!”

Thank you!!!  Wow, what a complement!  To tell you the truth, the Valar consuming souls was a relatively new idea of mine when I wrote it.  Sometime I have plot points rolling around in my head for years, but this one just popped up :)



Name: Kalendeer (Signed) · Date: January 11, 2020 0:05 · For: Chapter 15

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah who are they? Are they people I know already? Who!!! Part of me was wondering if they could be Fëanor and Fingolfin but I doubt the Valar would let them out.

Now that I know the first one is Maeglin, I wonder if the second one may be Celebrimbor? Then I read the part about the silver haired woman being his mother and killing him, and I really don't know. The suspens is killing me!!!



Author's Response:

Hahaha I was a terrible tease in this chapter!!  You had good guesses, but as you say, the Valar would never willingly release Feanor and Fingolfin.  Glad I could keep you on your toes!



Name: Kalendeer (Signed) · Date: January 10, 2020 23:31 · For: Chapter 14

He has a body! Yay! And new kids! And a boat! CARANTHIR IS COMING!

 

(I am sorry this comment is not very articulated)



Author's Response:

 New kids, lol, yep, pretty much :)  And now Caranthir is finally on his way!  What oh what shall he do when he gets there….:grins:



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: January 10, 2020 21:37 · For: Chapter 20

To me truthful, I'm not sure how close to broken Feanor will be when he returns.  He's going to carry so much guilt, and his physic will be in a vulnerable state; he's going to need all his sons with him and hear from their own lips their love and forgiveness (many times) before he can begin forgiving himself.  One things for sure, he's not going to be held back from storming into Mandos for his sons' souls if he gets reborn first!  (Which might work out for him, might not, and might upset some plans, might not; we will see!  It is still a mystery to me how it will all go down.

 

BAWLS. It feels like half a million years since reading your Fëanor and Fingolfin, which is a testament to the feeling of age and time passing that you evoke. But I have never, anywhere, read a Fëanor that felt so very true to canon as yours. To me, he IS Fëanor. I want to see him as he was, all the faults, all the passion, all the brilliance, the suppressed hunger for his half-brother - although I do realise it may take some time in one version, or emerge like a supernova in others, Whatever happens, I know it will be incredible ! 



Author's Response:
"But I have never, anywhere, read a Fëanor that felt so very true to canon as yours.  To me, he IS Fëanor."
This both makes me feel absoluting amazing and terrified I'll let you down somehow in the future!  But I am going to focus on the good, because damn this is one hell of a complement!  You know, I think Feanor was the character I was most worried about capaturing as a writer.  The only character that came close is Maedhros, and both of them are still intimidating.  But actually writing Feanor was one of the most natural writing experiances I've ever had.  R and U came together so fast; I could write for hours and hours and not grow tired of those two.  I wish all characters flowed onto the page like Feanor and Fingolfin did then!  Gosh, just thinking about it again has me longing all the harder to have them back!


Thank you so, so much for this completment, Spiced!  It puts the wind of confidence in my sails :)


Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: January 07, 2020 22:18 · For: Chapter 20

Aredhel is back. I wonder how she is now? She had such massive problems in her previous life but it seemed, toward the end, that she was beginning to face her regrets instead of running from them. I'm so sorry she has not see her son yet ;__; I can't believe she would not feel something. 

Oh, I wish Fingon were back, and so, so much the Fëanorions, and Fingolfin, and Fëanor himself. I miss them like an ache, and remember what Fëanor went through and is still going through, but I can't imagine him returning unless broken by the Valar (Howls!) or unless his rebirth is forced. 



Author's Response:
We will hear from Aredhel next chapter, from her POV no less, but there are still mysteries about the deterioration of her mental health in her first life that will be answered much later on.  And yes, how could anyone who gets to know Maeglin, not like him?

"Oh, I wish Fingon were back, and so, so much the Fëanorions, and Fingolfin, and Fëanor himself."
I want them too!  I look at all the things to write between them and rebirth and don't know how I'm going to last through this drought!  I've thought about writing others stories in a new AU just so I can write them again (I especially want a time-travel story with my favs, ideally, many, many stories!), but I fear if I did that I would never finish this series as I'm no good at writing more than one story at a time. 

"but I can't imagine him returning unless broken by the Valar (Howls!) or unless his rebirth is forced."
To me truthful, I'm not sure how close to broken Feanor will be when he returns.  He's going to carry so much guilt, and his physic will be in a vulnerable state; he's going to need all his sons with him and hear from their own lips their love and forgiveness (many times) before he can begin forgiving himself.  One things for sure, he's not going to be held back from storming into Mandos for his sons' souls if he gets reborn first!  (Which might work out for him, might not, and might upset some plans, might not; we will see!  It is still a mystery to me how it will all go down.

Thank you again, so much, for your amazing support!!!  Much love :hugs:


Name: Kalendeer (Signed) · Date: January 05, 2020 12:22 · For: Chapter 12

"The room stank of sex and incense, as if Thingol had lit some in his own worship."

The last part of this sentence <3

 

"What a mess this was turning out to be. Caranthir had known this was a terrible idea."

Yep. Yep I do not see how he will get out of this one!

 

Your Thingol was absolutly disgusting, and rarely have I been so happy to see a character die (and please Thingol stay dead this time, no one wants you back!). I hope Elurin goes back fast and Caranthir can go save everyone, even if that would be one hell of a journey considering the state Valinor is in!

I am slowly coming back to the story and trying to remember everything after more than a year away, but I am rooting for them again!



Author's Response:
Hi, Kalendeer! :waves:  I hope this finds you doing great :)
"Your Thingol was absolutly disgusting, and rarely have I been so happy to see a character die (and please Thingol stay dead this time, no one wants you back!)."
I know :shudders:  He's such a predator, utterly lacking in compassion for the people he preys upon.  While he will come back sometime, I rather think the Elves will have a trap waiting for him this time!  He's not going to get a change to hurt anyone ever again!

"I hope Elurin goes back fast and Caranthir can go save everyone, even if that would be one hell of a journey considering the state Valinor is in!"
Oh yeah, there is SO much work ahead.  Caranthir is going to need help; let's hope there are people who will step up to the plate!

"I am slowly coming back to the story and trying to remember everything after more than a year away, but I am rooting for them again!"
I forget things I wrote, and I'm the author!  This series is just so massive, it's hard to keep track!
Thank you so much for the review!  It's wonderful to hear you are still enjoying the story :)


Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: January 04, 2020 20:50 · For: Chapter 20

Thank you so much for your support!!  I couldn't believe how fast everyone reviewed these chapters after I was away so long!  I have the best readers ever :))))

 

Your series has devoted fans :D It's just incredible, all of it. When I woke up the other night and stated wondering if Turgon was reclaimable in some way (instead of the panic and worry I usually feel) that says everything. You did handle Finrafin's reaction to Turgon excellently, and no, I have never forgotten. I just wonder if there is any way back for Turgon, after seeing him with Maeglin, but not before some punishment is due, I think. No doubt he feels that he has and is being punished but not for what he did to Finarfin ;__;



Author's Response:
Thank you :hugs:  I'm glad the story was able to give you something to escape into; we all need that, and stories are my favorite way.  They engage all the senses and help me escape the real world and fall into another.

"I just wonder if there is any way back for Turgon, after seeing him with Maeglin, but not before some punishment is due, I think. No doubt he feels that he has and is being punished but not for what he did to Finarfin ;__;"
I have wondered the same.  I feel like we saw with Maeglin that Turgon is not devoid of compassion, he's still human, and he did come to view Maeglin in a better light in the end, so he's capable of change, the problem is that he hasn't faced all the wrong he's done.  He's still making excuses for his actions, still blaming others and justifying himself.  He has so much pride, and is the kind of person that when feeling attacked, digs their heels in (and I think he does feel on the defensive).  He has something he desperately wants enough to change -his loved one's back-- but is it enough to overcome what holds him back?  We will have to see...


Name: mangacrack (Signed) · Date: January 04, 2020 19:20 · For: Chapter 20

Reading your response reminds me why it is so beautiful to have characters with faults. The prospect of Idril in the next chapters intrigues me and seeing Finrod swimm in the river of denial (*cough*feelings*Curufin*cough*) after six thousand years in addition to being dead ... just perfect.

No to mention: Inspiring. I make you responsible for the 6 pages I have written today. Which is no surprise, given your Maeglin/Tuor scene from Book I is the origin of for the latest fit my muse has thrown. 

And Elmirion making his granddaddy proud and puff his chest like a oversized fluffy dragon with a hatchling will make me happy for a very long time. Also: one day there will be four Curufinwe's running around. Elmirion is the type to demand to be called Curufin if the identitiy confusion keeps happening. He is going to take the name "Curufin" as a badge of pride and honor - especially if it comes from Finrod.

And: I have grown into a great Finarfin/his brothers fan. It's unfair to exclude him from the exclusive Feanor/Fingolfin and their issues club.

*cracks knuckles and returns to writing programm*

The year is starting out incredibly well and I have MANY PLANS. Including a half-finished fic with your name on it!



Author's Response:
Thank you for this review!  It's a relief to hear you find the characters believably flawed; that's something I worry about as a writer.  Sometime I think I make the character too perfect or go the opposite direction and make them bashing-bad (you know those stories that cannot see anything but negativity in a character?).  Even the characters I don't like, I want to come off as believable in their actions and personality.

"I make you responsible for the 6 pages I have written today."
Congrats!  And it's a wonderful feeling to hear something I wrote is inspiring to other authors 

"given your Maeglin/Tuor scene from Book I is the origin of for the latest fit my muse has thrown."
Oh, yeah!  Come at me!  I look forward to reading it!

"And Elmirion making his granddaddy proud and puff his chest like a oversized fluffy dragon with a hatchling will make me happy for a very long time."
So cute   I love this image for them!  And you are totally right about all the Curufinwes!  But I don't regret that part of the story one bit.  I love that they all have that connection generation to generation.

"And: I have grown into a great Finarfin/his brothers fan. It's unfair to exclude him from the exclusive Feanor/Fingolfin and their issues club."
Me too!  Can you believe I didn't like him much when I first started writing the series?  I'd say he's now one of my favs, except I have such a long list of favs that it's hardly worth the name lol

"The year is starting out incredibly well and I have MANY PLANS. Including a half-finished fic with your name on it!"
How exciting!!!  Good luck, and I hope to read some of them soon!


Name: Lumeriel (Signed) · Date: January 04, 2020 16:03 · For: Chapter 19
*but what could have been as he gazed at the descendents of his two proud brothers.*

That line... broke my heart.

Author's Response:

Awwww, I know!!  It makes me so sad thinking about what could have been (and makes me want to write a massive AU of this massive story just to write them together lol)!  But I must comfort myself with the knowedlge that soon, soon they will be reborn and have a second chance!!!  Thank you so much for the review :)



Name: Lumeriel (Signed) · Date: January 04, 2020 15:47 · For: Chapter 18
Not even read yet, but I'm so glad you're back. I LOVE this series.

Now, go to read. Yesssss!

Author's Response:

Hello!  It feels so wonderful hearing this, thank you!!!  There is nothing else like knowing there are people out there who enjoy something you created :)



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