Hi Kalendeer, so sorry about the delay.
Do you know what I noticed about the Finweions, reading this chapter, that I didn't notice before, is how utterly divided they still are as a family. Even though they are working together against a common enemy, and Feanor and Fingolfin are at the least putting aside grievances, and talking, there's still just this great yawning chasm, which no-one seems to want to talk about or work on. 'The elephant in the room' so to speak, which just makes this all the more sad. I mean I know you can't have all that has happened between them and not have some kind of a rift. But it just seems all the more so and Nerdanel is trying her best to build the bridges and mend it the best she can under the circumstances.
I thought the use of song as prayer to Manwe calling for aid, was beautifully done.
I really think you've done a excellent job at showing it all in a more realistic light and with your twists and turns to the story it makes it that much more interesting. :)
Thank you for the review, as always you makes a writer's day better!
Well the problem with Fëanor's sickness is that Fingolfin is decent enough no to kick someone in this state, so that leaves a lot of things pending. Like the fact that Fëanor burned the boats for, apparently, no real reason he can explain (he is working on it but that's not the kind of answers Fingolfin expected). Now, there is also the matter of Aegnor's death, that was somewhat balanced by Maedhros' "death"; but if Maedhros is not dead, then that means that the Houses of Fingolfin and Finrod each have a dead prince, while Fëanor's do not. The one who "froze" the debates would be Nerdanel and Finrod with their peacekeeping. We will see what happens when Fingolfin gets back, IF he gets back (not 100% sure with the events at Angband).
Nerdanel did not leave because she disliked the Valar, so I guess her being there will make a lot more people pro-Valar right now. She just cannot believe that Manwë would be so heartless!
Oh my goodness, I love it! Nerdanel (one of my faves) goes with them! And the children of Arafinwë are on the boats! I love your style, too - you say so much, very economically and very gracefully.
Thank you! I usually write stories that are much slowlier, this one is meant to be very different in style. I often delete scenes because they turn to detailed or too long, but it's a good exercise... I am happy you like the result!
What have you done to my heart?!? You are breaking it! But I love every mintue of it! THis story is so good. So, so good!!!
I espcieally loved 'Disconnected.' I greedily wanted chapters and chapters of Feanor and Fingoldin interactions! I was jittery with exctiment to see Finagolfin finally meet Feanor (and hopefully understand! Jeeze, Fingolfin!). I really loved thier dialoge too, the way Fingolfin misunderstood Feanor's apathy, and the way Feanor tried to explain it 'I am...disconnected.' I hope to see more interactions between these two!
Maedhros has finally been brought hope. Will seeing Maedhros returned to them be enough to start Feanor on the path to healing? Or will seeing the evidance of Maedhros' torment be worse? I think it was a mercy that Feanor did not live to see what the Oath and his mistakes did to his sons -tho maybe things would never hve gotten so bad if he had lived? It's hard to say.
And I being too hopefully that I am hoping Nerdanel's absence has forced Feanor to rouse enough to take care of his daughter? I had such hope for him when he learned of her and seemed to be living for her, and then he hasn't connected with her at all...it is so hard to reconcile this Feanor with who he once was, which is probably the point. He isn't himself any more. I am still holding on that he came find himself again!
Thank you for the review <3
Don't be too hard on Fingolfin, I think he would have done much better if Fëanor had been more honest with him after the Darkening. Fëanor tried to hard to act like he did not have any weaknesses or any regrets when Fingolfin was around, so sometimes Fëanor just came around as a worst person than he truly was... and I think it's true the other way around, Fingolfn did not trust him enough to properly communicate. They are definitly going to interact more in the next chapter (and they are not going to kill each others yet!).
I think that pre-Darkening, the elves would have a hard time understanding mental illness. They are telepathic creatures and their spirit is more important than their soul, so this kind of illness would be deadly to them (like it was to Miriel). I think the Valar took steps to avoid another Miriel, so any little thing would be switfly dealt with with some holidays with Lorien and Estë. Even *Nerdanel* has a hard time understanding Fëanor's problem after months spent by his side, so Fingolfin will need his time as well.
Fëanor will definitly get better, even if he may never be as strong as he used to be. The crafting of the Silmarils, death of his father, then the burning of his own spirit to stay alive have taken their toll. There's also the balrog wound to consider, that does not seem to be healing as it should. But he is definitly not going to be bed ridden forever :)
As for the Oath, I still wonder if things would be better or worse because in this verse, Fëanor also have daughters (plural) who aren't bound to the Oath but are not necessarily better than their brothers. Arestel especially was born of the worst of Fëanor when he was highly paranoid, suffered from crippling anxiety, nightmares, dire sleep deprivation and delusions. No one exactly commented on that but I think that having a child in those conditions was a really really bad idea. That's why Arestel is a very difficult child, and I think that Fëanor feels guilty for that.
I think that Fëanor not taking care of his daughter is also, partly, because he does not trust himself to do so. He is afraid to drop her or pass some of his sickness to her, so he stays away a lot. I think he would love to take care of her, and once he is confident that he can I am sure he will. He is still a loving father, he just needs to get some self-confidence back!
Also, Fëanor asking who is going to take care of Arestel (he does, a little) was also a way of trying to get Nerdanel to stay and not follow Nolofinwë to Angband, without telling her that he was afraid for her, because the original version of the dialogue was that she accused him of letting Fingolfin go because he hoped he would die and he actually had legit arguments backing Fingolfin, like the lack of orcs attack since the first sunrise. It was hard to tell her "no don't go I am afraid for you" after he told her that he was not afraid for Fingolfin and everything was going to be alright ^^"
This was a wonderful chapter, Kalendeer!
Nerdanel would make an excellent Queen.
I loved the way she handled Nolofinwe in the hall. How she appealed to his heart rather than his rationale thinking by extending her respect, compassion and empathy for him and his host by honoring their suffering, including the loss of Argon and the many Noldor who died upon the Helcaraxe. She is truly a wise woman, and its fortunate for Nolofinwe, that she decided to follow her husband.
I absolutely loved the end, too.
I'm hooked! :)
Thank you so much for the review! You give me great motivation to keep on writing :)
I think it is fortunate for everyone and Fëanor especially since she kept taking hits for him in this chapter! I mean, SHE wrote she first letter, SHE went to meet Nolofinwë, and when the little brother decided to be a bit rough with big brother, who took the punch? She did!
I hope you will like the next chapter, even if it's the smallest one thus far :)
I really love the idea of Curufin giving his father much needed strength and healing through the bond they share.
I love how you've turned canon on its ear, so to speak. Adding Nerdanel, another Feanorion and a daughter, and the House of Finarfin to the exile, creating a very interesting twist in events. :)
Thank you so much for the review!
I always liked the idea that Curufin was Fëanor's "special" son, 90% Fëanor 10% Nerdanel (on the other hand, I picture Maedhros, Maglor and Celegorm as 50% of each, and Caranthir and the twins as 80% Nerdanel 20% Fëanor), and for their relationship to be both really beautiful and somewhat unhealthy because Curufin has troubles defining himself without his father.
In some old versions of canon, some of sons of Finarfin (Angrod and Aegnor) went with the Fëanorian on the boat, so I decided that if Fëanor was less hardcore, Finrod&Folks could come as well!
What I notice about Nerdanel journeying with her family, is, she is unable to change much in the way of Feanor's actions, if any, except, to be there for him when things become really bad or unbearable.
This was such an interesting twist and from Nerdanel's POV. I love the fact that he has actually survived the Balrog battle, so far. So her presence has ultimately changed the outcome of the Noldor's exile, not sure whether that's a good or bad thing though.
It would be interesting to see what bearing it would have on all the other events in ME.
Great read. :)
Thank you for the review!
I did not want to change *everything*, because Nerdanel is important but she is still only one person, but being the small thing that pushes Fëanor, ultimatly, toward survival rather than death, she already changed quite a lot. You will see in chapter 3 if Fëanor lives or dies; as you said Fëanor living may not be as good as it sounds lol.
I am currently working on A Feast of Ashes but I will come back for chapter 4 once it's done, so the next chapters shouldn't be too long in coming :)
This was such an interesting read.
It shows Feanor in such a vulnerable light. And it's so different to have Nerdanel joining him in the flight of the Noldor, seeing everything from her perspective.
Nolofinwe is usually one of my favorites, but I found him a little irritating here and wishing he would just leave his brother be at times. He was just making the situation that much worse. I mean I understand he's lost a father too and so distress is at its highest level. :)
Thank you so much for the kind review!
I know, Nolofinwë sounds terrible lol. But the thing is, Nolofinwë is never allowed to see past Fëanor's act, and Fëanor pretends that he does not make mistakes. There is an enormous gap between them because they just do not allow each other to see what is really happening; they are unable to help each others, because their relationship was strained before, and grieving and responsabilities make them both unable to move in the right direction.