But what kind of fate was the one Findekano had condemned him to? He had deliberated on that, these lonely nights sitting vigil at Maitimo's side. Had he done the right thing? Maitimo had begged for death and Findekano, his heart shattering even as he strung his great bow, had been prepared to do his bidding. It had devastated him to even consider complying with Maitimo's wishes but how could he leave him to eternal torment? He simply could not. Findekano had reluctantly strung the bow and positioned the arrow. Then, in desperation, he had sent a prayer to Manwë-to make his shot fly true, to still his shaking hands, so as to spare Maitimo any further agony in his final moments.
I like this ambiguity and moral dilemma that you recognise and expose. Tolkien never explores any of this and it IS complex.
He had been distracted by those thoughts so Maitimo's sudden thrashing at Vorindo's touch had caught him by surprise.
It had caught them all by surprise. An errant elbow had struck Findekano's jaw, momentarily stunning him. A low, feral growl escaped Maitimo's lips and he had bared his teeth at the healer, who stepped back in alarm.
Findekano had floundered, trying to capture Maitimo's flailing limbs, the strength of the invalid shocking him. It was as he had reached across, in a vain attempt to grab Maitimo's left arm, that he had caught a glimpse of the other's face.
Maitimo's eyes had been wide open, the silver blazing forth with an intensity Findekano could not recall ever seeing in those eyes before. His efforts to recapture Maitimo's arms were thwarted again, only halted when the right stump made contact with the headboard and Maitimo had given a brief exclamation of pain that was instantly cut off.
It had broken Findekano's heart to see. Maitimo's face had paled as he clamped his mouth shut, biting his lower lip until it bled but allowing no other sound to escape him. He had continued to silently struggle to free himself from the restraining arms of Findekano and the other healers who had moved to help.
Brilliant description, because of course he would not believe this was real!
"Enough," Maitimo said, his voice louder now. He fixed his stare on Findekano, eyes cold and distant, and then looked around the room, his eyes darting to the entrance and corners, as if searching for something. "I have had quite enough of this," he continued, ignoring Findekano now, as if speaking to someone unseen. "Do your worst, loathsome servant of my eternal Enemy. It is nothing I have not endured before but for the love of Eru stop this travesty. You have failed to make it convincing and I am ready for an end to it."
Findekano audibly gasped in understanding and shock, as the enormity of what Maitimo's words signified became clear to him. Maitimo didn't simply think this was a dream. He had been subject to induced dreams and hallucinations like this before. His heart sank. How was he ever going to convince him this was real?what a moment of fear and misery fo them both. brilliantly realised, Nelya.I Love the fact that i is because he doesn't ook glossy and shiny that proves it is him. Lovely story, Nelya.
Author's Response: Thanks ziggy!! I'm glad you agree that Findekano's action to save Maitimo isn't as straightforward as it may seem--there are so many undercurrents and nuances to it and it is conceivable that he did second guess himself in the lonely stretches of the night. It would be near impossible for Maitimo to believe it was real. If you noticed I also added the awful detail that he uses pain to regain his focus throughout this--biting his lip, digging his nails into his palm, squeezing the stump. And he bites off his cries of pain. It gives us an idea of the control he tried to exert over himself durIng his captivity. It hurts to even think of it. Good! Im glad the idea that a haggard Fingon is what tipped Maitimo off to the unreality of it all made sense!
I have been saving this for the weekend:) ouch- the details are very raw and painful. It hurts to read. Poor Maitimo, nad lovely, valient, dedicated Fingon. I like your OCs as well, and the delicacy that he approached the bond between them.
Gaunt, pale, scarred, damaged. His eyes ran over him and settled back on his face.
He had never looked more beautiful, Findekáno decided. Maitimo was here, with him again and nothing else mattered. He would never let him go this time.
Good. Lovely moment.
Author's Response: Thanks so much ziggy! This was something I really wanted to write but it is such a harrowing time for them both--raw and painful nails it. I enjoyed writing Vorindo--a healer's perspective adds something to the story I think and I wanted to have their bond explored in a psychological and healing sense as well. The last lines are revealing--Findekano makes a conscious decision here and he is looking with his heart and soul. He doesn't know Maitimo stood aside at the burning of the ships yet.. He doesn't know what the extent of Maitimo's emotional and psychological damage is. He just knows that he loves him no matter what.
This is amazing, Nelya. The intensity of the writing is incredible, and Maedhros's emotional torment is really harrowing. I love Findekano's patience here, refusing to give up. I like Vorindo too; I love meeting new characters from this time period, with roles that are "offstage" in canon - the people who made it possible to cross the ice, run a palace, etc.
Thank you so much for sharing :-)
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Narya! I'm glad the intensity came through--this awakening must have been a harrowing experience for them both--Findekano thinking perhaps he's got Maitimo back and Maitimo convinced he is still in the throes of hallucinations and captivity. I think of Findekano as steadfast and persistent. I'm so glad you like Vorindo! I really enjoyed creating him.
Lovely to see you posting this here, Nelya!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
I hope you will continue to write more chapters.
Looking forward to it! :)
Author's Response: Thanks Gabriel! I just can't help writing these two. I have thoughts on where this should go and on the whole idea of the recovery and the other sons of Fëanor.