| Login | Lost Password | Help | Rules | | |

Most Recent

Beware the Starless Midnight by cheekybeak General Audiences
Legolas arrives in Minas Tirith expecting a joyful reunion with his friends. Instead he finds tension, prejudice, and insurrection...
Days of a Valinorean healer by Nuredhel Teen
Being a healer in Valinor brings a whole new set of challenges for Elrond, some really great ones and some not so great...
I'll be Yours if You'll be Mine by NelyafinweFeanorion Teen
Modern setting AU. Maedhros/Fingon. Maedhros owns a bookstore. Fingon is in grad school. Expect appearances from varied members...
Melpomaen the Elfling by Glorfindel Explicit
Melpomaen is a reborn elfling. He has two fathers because Saruman cursed one of them to fall pregnant to the next elf they...
Shine by cheekybeak General Audiences
A bond between brothers helps a small elfling cope with his grief beneath the boughs of the Greenwood. prequel to “Light...
Hope in the Darkness by lotrfan General Audiences
How Thrain kept the map and key safe from Sauron in Dol Guldur. Written for the Teitho contest picture challenge where it...
Lonesome Rider by mangacrack Mature
In the Silmarillion Maglor is (allegedly) the sole survivor of his family.Here, it's someone else.

Site Info

Members: 475
Series: 83
Stories: 1651
Chapters: 8441
Word count: 25534317
Authors: 137
Reviews: 15668
Reviewers: 219
Newest Member: ainisarie
Beta-reader: 29
Recommendations: 53
Recommenders: 13
Challenges: 14
Challengers: 9

Who's Online

Guests: 5


05/21/18 08:16 pm
Aragorn can't join - by emotionally blackmailing Legolas to accompany him on the Paths of the Dead, he's firmly on my blacklist!
05/21/18 08:03 pm
SPCL? Society for prevention of cruelty to Legolas? RSPCL if Aragorn joins!
05/21/18 06:02 pm
Yay, Nelya! We can be founder members of SACL. I tried to think of something with a better acronym - I'm open to suggestions!
05/21/18 03:25 pm
Naledi I'm with you on the Society Against Cruelty to Legolas (SACL)!! ;-) but who are we kidding--we read it all and love it anyway, despite the misadventures of our dear Elf!
Spiced Wine
05/20/18 10:38 am
I think it’s a sensible choice. Aragorn has a large backstory going back many years, so it was always going to be one of their first choices.
05/20/18 05:43 am
It's an expensive gamble they have taken--they have to nail this first season. Also the TolkienEstate is far more involved in this one I hear.
05/20/18 05:31 am
A quite big "if", I'd say. Just look what mess was made out of the Hobbit movie. Nowadays I tend to be a bit cynical. So I say the series is good if it will be at least not cringeworthy.
05/20/18 04:49 am
As well as Elladan and Elrohir and the Rangers of the North. It could be a hit if done right. Plus the Arwen love interest.
05/20/18 04:48 am
I am actually relieved the Amazon series is starting with young Aragorn. There is much canon content to work with, he's a familiar character and chance to see Glorfindel, Gilraen
05/20/18 04:47 am
And that's how they learn about the weaknesses of dragons! From the little guy Aegnor adopted.
Shout Archive

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: May 22, 2018 9:45 · For: Chapter 27
OMG! Nelya!

I absolutely love Tyelko in this chapter! He had me laughing with his lightning quips. :D

*"Maybe you should have left a note," Tyelko said. Something like, 'Humping my boyfriend on sofa - steer clear of the family room,' you know?" He smirked at them both. "Maybe put up a 'Men at work' sign on the back door," he said, Then his eyes lit up."Or one of those 'Speed Hump' signs like they have a Cuivienen. That's fucking perfect! Shit. I've got to steal one of those from campus and leave it in the garage for you." He threw his head back as he laughed.*


*"You sure you aren't in the way here, Tyelko?"

"You have no idea," Tyelko said soberly. "I walked in on these two getting it on. The image is now burned in on my retinas."* That just cracked me up, Nelya! It was so good to have a laugh, today.

Tyelko is truly the comic relief.

But on a more sober note. Dear, Maglor happy to for his brothers' and how they have found wonderful companions, but doesn't like how things at home have changed and secretly wishes he could find that special someone too. But believes he is not as confident in that area. Oh! Maglor! Is there any hope for our beautiful, grumpy, singer, Nelya? I hope so. Don't like seeing Maglor depressed.

Well, will Maedhros succumb to the nightmares and will Fingon be safe? You have me biting my nails in anticipation. Great chapter! :)

Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2018 21:57 · For: Chapter 26
Sorry Nelya, I meant to ask...when is your birthday? (It might have gone by already, apologies if so.)

Author's Response: May 26! Thanks for asking!

Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2018 21:26 · For: Chapter 26
Aaah, I'm so late, I'm sorry! Life has been crazy.

Anyway. I love that Fingon buys Spamalot tickets for Maedhros - and the little touch of his heart beating faster when he realises he's so confident in their future is really gorgeous. It gave me the warm fuzzies.

I hated what they did with the Angband Industrial Park and that Thangorodrim skyscraper is an eyesore—who puts a skyscraper out in the middle of nowhere?

That's neat too, I imagine Thangorodrim would be an eyesore. And there it is again - the tension in Maedhros. I'm glad Fingon is able to cajole him into talking it through this time, so it doesn't spoil their evening.

And Fingon waking up in Maedhros's arms is adorable!

Author's Response: Thanks Narya! Glad you liked the Spamalot bit and Fingon's dawning realisation of confidence in this relationship.

I truly wanted the Gotthaur buildings to be ugly, clashing and disrupting the skyline, not enhancing it.

Maedhros has wanted Fingon in his arms like this. Even if he couldn't sleep he at least had Fingon waking up in his arms, as he'd envisioned in his imagination.

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: May 14, 2018 6:33 · For: Chapter 26
Hey Nelya!

So sorry about the wait. :/

It is so great to see Maedhros sharing a bit of his Grandfather's death and the aftermath, his feelings as well on the subject. It shows how far these two have come in their relationship, if Maedhros feels its okay to divulge a little information. And I'm sure a lot of that has to do with Fingon's honesty with his own problems and the reassurances and encouragement in the bedroom, as well, of course Fingon being an all-round good guy and an easy person to talk to.

I know Fingon brought it up, [Gorthaur and Associates] but it's good to have Maedhros unloading a little. he needs to, he needs this and the support.

I loved how they spent the night in each other's arms. Yay! And so romantic.

Author's Response: Thanks Gabriel! Yes Fingon is managing to make Maedhros comfortable and supported so he is being a little less reticent, bit by bit. There is a feeling of safeness with Fingon, a sense of security and acceptance that is gradually bridging those walls Maedhros has constructed around himself.

And Maedhros got his wish of Fingon in his arms.

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: May 01, 2018 13:36 · For: Chapter 25
*"It's worth it, if kids have a better Christmas because their parents bought them books on sale at my store. Next year I'd like to team up with some local schools and shelters and give books away for free."*

*Fingon really didn't need any more reasons to love Maedhros- he was well on his way to being completely in love with him already.*

Awww! Maedhros can't possibly do anything further to earn those wings of his. What a sweetheart.

Oh my gosh! Tyelko is incorrigible! lol. I love that he's not afraid to broach sexual matters with his brother and tease him about it in the process.

Well, they've finally made some ground on their relationship, which is good. Finally spent a night together, although poor Maedhros spent it staring at the ceiling. I understand his reticence, his fear. Baby steps is the only way to go.

Looking forward to the next chapter, Nelya! :)

Author's Response: Thanks Gabriel! Maedhros is so sensitive and thoughtful, isn't he?

Tyelko is the best--I can just picture the whole scene--Maedhros all flushed and Tyelko just knowing that being profane and funny would make Maedhros laugh and relax a bit.

Baby steps--but at least he's trying, right?

Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: April 29, 2018 1:02 · For: Chapter 25
"You a runner then?"

"I was," Maedhros said, his voice a little brusque. "I prefer the treadmill though. When I run, that is."

It was only a momentary shift but Fingon noticed. There were times when Maedhros withdrew a little--certain topics, certain situations. Now that he knew about the nightmares Fingon wondered if it was all related. The parking quirks. His grandfather. The distant look that came over him in the middle of a conversation. The running comment just now. They seemed disparate enough topics but his response to them all was similar.

Ah, Fingon is beginning to put the pieces together. I'm so glad that Maedhros trusts him to try staying over!

"It's worth it, if kids have a better Christmas because their parents bought them books on sale at my store. Next year I'd like to team up with some local schools and shelters and give books away for free."

He is just so lovely. If he wasn't so perfect with Fingon I would want to steal him :P

You write the way they gradually fall deeper and deeper for each other so beautifully and delicately - and I loved Maglor and Tyelko's different reactions to Maedhros bringing Fingon home. Tyelko's bawdy approach made me gigglesnort.

Fingon is so understanding and perceptive, realising that even a slight touch might damage Maedhros's trust in him. But it sounds like they're making progress, which makes me happy :) thank you for another fab chapter, Nelya. These boys brighten up my week.

Author's Response: Thank Narya! Yes Fngon is finally seeing a pattern and working out that things are linked. He's becoming more perceptive as he's focusing more on Maedhros now that he's confident in his feelings and done with his semester stress. Maedhros is just a dear, isn't he? I'm thrilled you are finding their slow burn realistic! It means so much for me to know that it's working, the way I am having their feelings progress.

Tyelko makes me laugh much of the time that I am writing him.

And you've got it right--Fingon is being very careful. He's made loads of progress but Mae is a bit of a minefield so he treading lightly and trying to follow the guidelines. And he likely doesn't even realize that his simple ability and willingness to fall asleep has made a huge difference to Maedhros.

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: April 24, 2018 9:17 · For: Chapter 24
I love your Maglor, Nelya!

Grumpy, slightly obnoxious but with a good heart.
And he doesn't appear to be that much of a people person, either. Although I may be wrong in that quarter.

I liked how he was waiting for Maedhros to come to bed so he could give him the third degree. I get it though, Maglor seems pretty protective of his big brother and just wanted to make sure there were no complications with Fingon staying the night and such.

I had a chuckle though, at Maglor's inability to not think of his music at critical moments. Even as blunt as he is, he is still such a sweetheart. :D

And Maedhros is stressing again. I know he doesn't want to muck things up between he and Fingon, but he really needs to relax about it all. Nothing fell apart just because Maedhros didn't respond to something Fingon said. I really don't think Fingon was looking for a response to be honest, just wanted to get his feelings out in the open.In fact I think it was more of a compliment to Maedhros for how Fingon felt at that moment.

I love all this family dynamics. Especially when Aredhel and Tyelko get together. Oh! Who am I kidding, I love all of them! :)

Wonderful chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks Gabriel! Maglor is my slightly temperamental artist. He's observant and very protective of his big brother. And he truly loves his brothers, even if he gets distracted while talking to them. Maedhros is well known on the family fir stressing over things. He's a perfectionist, as they all are, but he takes it to extremes. More coming soon!

Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: April 21, 2018 17:04 · For: Chapter 24
Oh, Nelya, another gorgeous chapter!
I love Maglor here; it's almost like he's the big brother. And this is lovely:

“It’s more than that,” Maedhros said, his voice hushed. “Honestly, I’ve never felt like this about anyone ever . . . he makes me feel . . . I don’t even know if I can put it into words—like I could tell him anything and he’d be here for me, no matter what. That I can trust him. And that he appreciates me, despite everything. I know I’m rambling, I can’t really figure out how to say it."

Maedhros not being able to put his feelings into words is so adorable - partly because I see him as a very intelligent, articulate individual, so this must be something huge if he can't even describe it.

“And then he said ‘this is where I always want to be’ and I didn’t think about it at the time but. . .” Maedhros frowned as his eyes met Maglor’s. “But when I think about it now it seems like he was saying a whole lot more.”

Those would make good song lyrics Maglor thought. He’d been writing a love song—pointless of course, but that was what he did—composed songs.

*snorts* typical Maglor, getting distracted by possible song lyrics! I love how well you draw all their characters. They're perfect.

The snow is the perfect backdrop to all this cosy happiness...although thankfully the weather here is starting to warm up (finally)!

Author's Response: Thanks Narya! Maglor is very protective of big brother Maedhros--especially since the "incident". But he also gets exasperated with Maedhros, as we see here. And easily distracted! And yes you got it--I wanted lovely, erudite, well-spoken Maedhros to be thrown off and a little at a loss for words regarding Fingon--this is uncharted territory for him and he is uncharacteristically floundering for words. Glad you are enjoying this! More to come!

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: April 17, 2018 7:24 · For: Chapter 23
It is so nice to see Maedhros more at ease and able to enjoy his time with Fingon a little more, now that he has gotten a few things off his chest.

Okay, granted, He hasn't told Fingon everything, which he should. Sadly I don't think this relationship will go any further until Maedhros has laid EVERYTHING out on the table.But for now, I guess they can enjoy what they have.

I love seeing these four together. And I loved the heart to heart Mae and Tyelko had in the spare bedrooms.

*Maedhros nodded. "I talked to him. I told him...well, not the whole thing...but he knows about the nightmares and about me clocking you and Maglor in the head."

"You talked to him?" Maedhros and the linens found themselves tackled in an exuberant hug. "Good for you, Mae! I knew you could do it." Tyelko pulled back. "I told you it wouldn't faze him, didn't I?"

Maedhros sighed, but was unable to keep a small smile off his face.*

You know, this was a wonderful idea, Nelya, a modern AU. I'm thoroughly enjoying the storyline. :)

Author's Response: Thanks Gabriel. I'm so glad you are enjoying this AU! Yes, Fingon opening up helped Maedhros and having even a bit of it off his chest has relaxed him a little. He should tell him everything but this is a step in the right direction. He's trying but he's built his walls very high and very rigid. He's not ready to make the full disclosure--mostly because of his negative self talk and self recrimination. Tyelko is a supportive brother--brash, abrasive, but with a good heart.

Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2018 11:28 · For: Chapter 23
Oh, I meant to ask - are you on Tumblr or Dreamwidth?

Author's Response: yes to Tumblr! we found each other by chance this morning, which is fun. I am not familiar with Dreamwidth and I just put a question in the shout box about it. I'd love to hear more about it and if it's something I should join? I really know nothing about it.

Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2018 11:27 · For: Chapter 23
Yay, perfect Saturday treat!

He respected Maedhros' right to keep that information to himself until he was ready to share whatever troubled him. For now it was enough that Maedhros had admitted there was an issue at all.

I love Fingon more and more. He is just the sweetest, most understanding person. And it looks like Tyelko and Aredhel's relationship is going well, too :)

Maedhros is a wine buff! Amazing! And this is just gorgeous:

He moved behind Maedhros and wrapped his arms around him, resting his head on his back. He wanted this--this closeness, this domesticity, these easy comfortable moments. He could see himself coming home to this every night and oh did he want that.

Such an easy warmth there, it's a delight to read.

I loved Aredhel telling Fingon where to get off bossing her around about her relationship with Tyelko, too. Go girl!

The brotherly banter is great, as ever (love your grumpy Maglor), and this bit made me go "aww!":

"You told him?" Maedhros and the linens found themselves tackled in an exuberant hug.

Wonderful chapter, Nelya. It's great to see these relationships deepening and the trust growing between them all. Love, love, love it.

Author's Response: Thanks so much, Narya! Glad you enjoyed it. Fingon IS a sweetheart. He's just so understanding and patient. It makes you wonder why he hasn't found someone before now, doesn't it? Something I need to get him to explain to me. Of course Maedhros is a wine buff--goes with being an amateur chef. Did you catch the name of the wine? Yes, I felt they needed some fluff and domesticity after the last few chapters. Aredhel is definitely not going to get bossed around. And she's not going to mince words with Maedhros either. I'm sure Fingon and Tyelko would be indignant at them talking about them this way, if they knew! I'm glad the brotherly banter works. Grumpy Maglor is a favorite of mine--he has a back story too and he is not pleased with me focusing on other things. I'll have to get to his story sometime. And yes--Tyelko is physical in all things--including exuberant hugs!

Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: April 04, 2018 20:48 · For: Chapter 22
"We can work on this together, ok?"


Oh, Fingon...you are just wonderful!

They're so gorgeous, Nelya. I was so happy to see Maedhros tell Fingon the truth, even if it's only part of it. I hope that Fingon's right, and they really can work through it together.

And more beautiful artwork at the end too. Major warm fuzzies!

I think this was my favourite image from the chapter:

He brushed his fingers down Fingon's back, wrapped his arms close around him and then rested his cheek on that soft, dark hair. They stayed that way as the fire burned low and the light grew dimmer outside.

The two of them curled up together as it gets dark, finally at peace with each other, is lovely.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and commenting! Fingon is wonderful and he is a bit of a problem solver. Maedhros is too--but mostly for everyone else, not himself! I think Maedhros was surprised by how well it went. It was easier to get a part of the truth out than he expected. I think he is encouraged and galvanized by the fact that Fingon wants to work through this. And yes they needed some cuddling time. This has been a rough day for both of them but they have been there for each other just the same. And yes I'm so lucky to have an artist do such wonderful art for me!!

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: April 04, 2018 7:55 · For: Chapter 22
Yay! Maedhros!

But gees, he really struggled with getting to the crux of the matter, didn't he? So fearful as to how Fingon would take it.

I'm just surprised that Maedhros would think Fingon would pity him or show any kind of disappointment, especially after Fingon was open and honest confessing his own fears.

Why would Maedhros think that of Fingon? Or is it that that's all he has ever recieved from people. A rejection of sorts.

And I love how Maedhros is a bit lost for words that Fingon would be so understanding and excepting of this revelation. I think he was super worried he was going to lose Fingon before their relationship even got off the ground.

Way to go Fingon! Coming up with a way that they can adjust to the problem.

You know this makes their romance that much more beautiful, in my eyes. That even at this early stage, they are willing to work on these problems together. It just goes to show they both really want this and badly. Others would have probably walked away.

Awesome kissing scene, Nelya! And wonderful intimate moment too. :)

Author's Response: He did it. Not the way Maglor wanted him to do it but more in the way Azaghal advised him. It may be enough for now. He expected a negative response because he himself feel so negative about it. He feels he has failed. He is very harsh with himself about this issue--and so he expects others to be too. He also hasn't revealed how problematic it still is too many people. Az, Maglor and Tyelko know it's still a problem because they have lived with him. The rest of his family knows but he has done a good job of keeping the details of how things are currently fairly vague. I think he was afraid to tell Fingon but finally realized if he didn't say something he actually might lose him. And as usual Fingon surprises him by being completely understanding and reasonable and caring--much like Maedhros himself was with Fingon's panic attack on the ice. They do both really want this and Fingon is willing to work for it; he's pretty single-minded when he wants something. and yes they needed some good snuggling/kissing time!

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: April 04, 2018 6:51 · For: Chapter 21
So sorry about taking so long to review, Nelya!

Well this is very interesting. Fingon has a bit of a secret too.

I just hope Fingon's fear and the fact he felt he had to keep it to himself, helps Maedhros feel a lot more at ease at broaching the subject of his problem. Come on Maedhros! Tell Fingon!

It almost looked like he was about to at the end of the chapter.

Loved what Fingon said;

*'There's nothing to be sorry for. It's my issue. I'm the one who can't control it. It's stupid and irrational but it is what it is.' He gripped Maedhros' hand tightly. 'You're the first person I've ever talked to about this, other than my family. I try not to think about it. But that hasn't made it go away, has it?'*

Yay! Fingon! This is exactly what Maedhros needed to hear. That he is not the only one who has been through something frightening and come out the other side with emotional issues.

Oh! This is wonderful! The ball's in your court Maedhros! :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and commenting Gabriel! Yes Fingon has secrets too. He alluded to it in one of the first few chapters. His feelings about this mirror Maedhros about his own issue, but he does not have the overwhelming feeling of having failed someone, or at something as Maedhros does about it. The words you quoted are exactly like the thoughts Meadhros has--but Fingon is more realistic about it. So the question is what is the response going to be?

Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: March 29, 2018 23:02 · For: Chapter 21
Yayyy, the Formenos chapter! :D I'm so excited.

Maybe Fingon was just taking precautions in case the weather left him stuck in Formenos overnight.

*Shakes head* honestly Maedhros, listen to your brother, and/or use your common sense! The two of them curled up together on the sofa is such an adorable image, though.

Fingon's mouth went dry and he could feel his stomach start to churn. He wanted absolutely nothing to do with ice in general but he certainly had no interest in dealing with anything that involved holes in the ice.

Uh oh. Is this the Helcaraxe equivalent coming up?

The last time he had looked down at his skates on the ice years ago he had heard that sound—the sudden crisp crack and then the clatter like ice cubes tumbling into a glass—and he had been falling, freezing water in his mouth, his nose, his eyes, his fingers scrabbling to grip the edge and breaking off shards of ice instead.

Oh no, poor Fingon :( this is why he hates the cold! :( but...maybe this is what Maedhros needs to get him to open up?

Gorgeous chapter, Nelya. I especially loved Maedhros's tenderness with Finno when he had the panic attack. He's so kind and protective.

Author's Response: Thank you Narya! Finally time to get them together and have some much needed conversations. Fingon's midweek visit to the bookstore helped get the over the initial awkwardness. But Maedhros is a bit defiantly oblivious--avoidance mechanism. At least they had some snuggle time before poor Fingon got dragged outside. Yes the ice skating incident is Fingon's Helcaraxë equivalent. He's so steadfast and brave--canon elements for him--and he is a counterpoint to Maedhros here. And Maedhros is so kind and protective--he's in his element caring for others. For Fingon-- I had him purposefully echo in his explanation some of Maedhros own words and emotions. It is shocking for Maedhros to hear this. Will it galvanize him to speak himself?

Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: March 28, 2018 13:32 · For: Chapter 20
I am so late reviewing this, I'm really sorry! Mad couple of weeks.

What a lovely scene between the two of them; it's great to see Fingon so confident, even if Maedhros doesn't understand why yet. And it seems to have unwittingly made Maedhros feel more confident in their relationship too, which is great to see! *Happy feels*

I'm so excited for the Formenos chapter. This is just gorgeous, Nelya, they're lovely together. I just hope they can find a way to work around Maedhros's issues.

Author's Response: No worries and thank you Narya! I'm so glad you liked it. It's nice to see the tables turned a bit--Fingon confident and Maedhros a bit bewildered. Formenos chapter coming--hadn't realized I hadn't posted this week--I was so caught up in formatting my Story of Seven fic that I posted here that I forgot to post the first Formenos chapter of this fic!

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: March 23, 2018 10:44 · For: Chapter 20
Hi Nelya!

I had to chuckle at this whole chapter. It was so sweet.

I totally agree with Az that Fingon is a big boy and can make his own decisions and Mae needs to allow him to do this and stop trying to control everything. Maedhros needs to just let go and enjoy it.

I loved Fingon's surprise visit to the bookstore. Catching Maedhros off guard.

Maedhros giving him looks. Like he was trying to figure Fingon out and wondering as to why Fingon seemed to have put behind him all the misunderstandings and arguments of the past week.

He is so absolutely clueless to his very long and adorable message he left Fingon on his voicemail professing his love amongst many other things. I wonder if Fingon will let it slip about the newest voicemail. He's already given some hints but Maedhros just keeps giving him strange looks wondering what he's going on about.

I can't wait to see what's going to happen when they spend the weekend together. Its going to be very interesting.

Such a lovely story Nelya! Can't wait for the next chapter. :)

Author's Response: Thanks Gabriel! I'm glad it made you chuckle--that's exactly what I was going for here! Fingon's finally at ease--their argument was bad but he now has tangible evidence that Maedhros is as smitten as he is. And that is reassuring enough for him to relax into more of his true self--witty, somewhat flirty and confident. Maedhros' obliviousness to the reason for the difference in demeanor and his utter bewilderment shows us a different side of him as well--a bit awkward, his original forward behaviour in the first chapters tempered by the realization this is not a casual flirtation and his self-doubt taking hold. We'll see what revelations come next chapter!

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: March 16, 2018 3:54 · For: Chapter 19
Hi there Nelya!

Hope this review finds you well and that everything is going great. :)

I really love how you've included Azaghal in this and Narvi as a girl.

Love this guy, and what a friend! Its strange but Maedhros and Azaghal remind me so much of Legolas and Gimli. Especially in Ziggy's wonderful series.

Azaghal seems to understand Maedhros more than Maedhros knows and understands himself. The fact he can make head and tail of Maedhros' thought processes and feelings is just amazing. He just seems to get Maedhros and is always there for him no matter what's going on in his own life, traits of a true friend.

And I think also that Azaghal is better as a sounding board than Maedhros attempting to bounce all that baggage off on his brothers, who would be able to help to a certain degree but beyond that I think they are too close to him to really understand or be able to help Maedhros' dilemma. I mean Maglor and Tyelko tried but couldn't seem to move beyond that wall that Maedhros erected. Yet it seems to have worked with Azaghal. Sometimes I think you need someone who isn't too close to you or the situation to give you an objective viewpoint and therefore help you to understand.

Oh Maedhros! Still torturing himself over not being up front with Fingon and then torturing himself again with the idea that he could hurt someone and then blames himself for allowing whatever happened to him to happen to him in the first place and as a result he ends up with a panic attack. I have had panic attacks myself, not nice, not nice at all. Dear sweet Maedhros! I hope the weekend with Fingon allays some of his fears and hopefully strengthen their relationship.

I loved the part where he tried to imagine Fingon lying next to him. Where the last thing he saw was Fingon's blue eyes before sleep took him. Beautiful!

I'm sorry Nelya! If I've gone on a bit. I just really love this story and love where your taking it. :)

Author's Response: Gabriel thank you so much! I love your detailed reviews--they make my day! It was time to introduce Azaghâl--he's been mentioned a few times in the narrative and it was time he made an appearance to straighten Mae out. He's lived with Maedhros--college years and beyond--so it's inevitable he's gotten to know him in a different way than Maedhros' brothers. He's not had to be protective or responsible for Azaghâl so their dynamic is far different. Azaghâl was close to Maedhros before the event and lived with him during and after. He knows the story and the aftermath. He's steadfast but blunt. Just what Mae needs. Maedhros is a bit of a mess in this chapter. He's so quick to blame himself. But he needed to let loose a bit and his drunken ramblings were fun to write. Thanks for love for this story! I hope you enjoy the next chapters!

Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: March 12, 2018 20:58 · For: Chapter 19
Azaghâl is great! What a wonderful friend for Maedhros to have - someone outside his family who understands him and can support him through whatever past trauma he is carrying around. And Narvi is a girl; I love it!

There are some really striking echoes of canon in this chapter - particularly Maedhros blaming himself for what has happened. I'm assuming this is the equivalent of his torment on Thangorodrim, because let's face it, he walked into that one. His drunken ramblings are so adorable, though - I squee'd.

He let himself imagine what it would be like if Fingon were lying next to him. If Fingon's blue eyes were the last thing he saw before falling asleep. If Fingon's arms were around him, his head tucked under Maedhros' chin.

Ahh, that's just too cute! But such a sad end to the chapter. I really hope the weekend away in Formenos helps them work things out...

Author's Response: I love Azaghâl! he's good at reading Maedhros but he's also very blunt. A steadfast friend but not one who lets him get away with things. He calls him on his evasions and is quite good at cutting through all of his rationalizations. I'm so glad you picked up on all of the canon similarities here! The situation he got himself into is his equivalent moment here--that ended up in his Thangorodrim moment. He does not listen to reason well about this topic. The drunken ramblings were some of my favorite things to write in this chapter; he really needed to loosen up and actually tell Fingon how he feels. Fingon needs to know his feelings are not one-sided, that they are returned by Maedhros. He ends up saying a lot more due to the alcohol than he ever would have intended. That's a good thing; Fingon needed to hear that. He can have what he imagines if he just lets himself. That's his stumbling block. He keeps second-guessing himself. Now I really can't wait for you to read the Formenos chapter!

Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: March 01, 2018 19:59 · For: Chapter 18
"You look like shit." He narrowed his eyes at Maedhros and continued. "I honestly can't remember the last time you looked this bad. What the hell happened today?"

Heehee, I can't imagine Maedhros looking like shit. Ever.

"He said something like that already, didn't he?" Tyelko's voice was even gentler now.

"Pretty much."

"And you still didn't tell him? Aw, Mae, what am I going to do with you?" Tyelko sighed.

I love how kind Tyelko is. You write him beautifully. And I love Fingon and Maedhros's text exchange, they're so sweet!

A knock sounded at his door and he looked up to see Maglor peeking in. "Didn't I tell you this would happen, you bloody idiot?" Maglor said.

"Shut up, Maglor," Maedhros complained. "I'll get this figured out."

LOL, Maglor is so funny. He's such a bossy boots.

Come on, Maedhros, have that conversation. Fingon's totally worth it!!

I'm hooked on this version of the characters, Nelya. It's so nice to read them and not be dreading the next bloodbath...

Author's Response: Thanks so much Narya!! Maedhros looks good even when he is distressed. I'm so glad you like Tyelko, I just love writing him--he's outspoken, profane, tempestuous but so very kind and gentle when he need to be. And Maglor, being Maedhros' closest confidant, is just done with this sidestepping. He's blunt when he needs to be. The brothers have a good idea how to deal with Maedhros--he's stubborn so he doesn't often listen--but they know how to drive a point home and they work together. Tyelko could tell he had to tread carefully with Maedhros initially but he got him primed for Maglor--working together and conversing about him, which irritates Maedhros no end but he is rational enough to know it's done out or love. So he grumbles but overall takes it from them-- even if he doesn't take the advice he accepts the loving gesture,

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: March 01, 2018 3:36 · For: Chapter 18
Hi Nelya!

I really like your Tyelko. How he wouldn't let his big brother go without the proverbial twenty questions. And considering the vibe Maedhros must have been giving off, the annoyance at being cornered. He really needed to talk this through not let it lie and fester.

I love the family dynamics Maedhros has with his brothers, that love/hate relationship he has with them. Loves them point blank and protective, no question, but at the same time loathes them meddling in his own life and affairs in any way. It probably comes from his days protecting his brothers from the fallout of his parent's arguments and thinking he had to shoulder everything on his own. And so now when Maedhros needs them even if he never asks for help, they are there. Their way of giving back to the big brother who sacrificed so much to look out for them. :)

I'm so pleased Fingon apologized to Finrod for his behaviour; jumping down his throat and getting all defensive and Finrod brushing it off like it was nothing. Good old Finrod! Fingon really needs to relax about the whole situation, but I guess when your just starting a relationship with everything new, the last thing you want is to think you may have ruined it before it got off the ground. OMG! Maedhros REALLY needs to tell Fingon, otherwise Fingon is going to turn this on himself, blame himself.

And the exchange between Maglor and Maedhros just exemplifies what I said earlier.

Maedhros is afraid of losing Fingon but if he doesn't tell him about his predicament he may do anyway. And I can see anyone trying to help comes up against a wall of fear. What happened to Maedhros, Nelya, that landed him in a Hospital bed and ultimately created the 'nightmares?' It must have been pretty horrendous. I guess I'll find out in the coming chapters. This is getting good. :)

Sorry if I've waffled on a bit. Just got a bit carried away. Wonderful chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you Gabriel! I really enjoy writing Tyelko. He's quite observant and he knows the signs of trouble with Maedhros. Maedhros has, as you point out, always been their protector and confidant. They've always come to him--to talk, to complain, to air grievances, to ask for advice. He's used to that role. He's not as used to being protected, watched out for, advised by the younger brothers. He's also a bit of a control freak (a lot of a control freak as Cheekybeak tells me!) so it's unnerving and uncomfortable to be out of control. His issues are not very controllable, in his opinion. So he feels ashamed and weak because of that apparent lack of control over himself. He takes responsibility for EVERYTHING--even things that are clearly not under his control or purview. And you are exactly right--he rarely, if ever, asks for help. But they are there anyway, when he needs it. They ARE giving back and not letting him use his skilled evasive tactics. So he's grumpy but grateful. Finrod and Fingon needed to talk. And Fingon is flustered by his feelings. He's never been this into somebody. He's a bit of a control freak too and this uncontrollable attraction is a bit unnerving for him. His life is very regimented--he's completely focused on school when he needs to be and on the few occasions he lets loose he really lets loose! So Fingon does need to know what's going on because he will think it's him that's the problem, not Maedhros. They're a little similar in that way. Maglor is the closest to Maedhros--his confidant. But he's just about had it with the denial, secretiveness and self blame. Maedhros is in an unnerving place too--he's never been truly invested in a relationship either--uncharted territory and he has fallen HARD. But he's kind of painted himself into a corner, the story will gradually come out. Sorry for long winded response--I loved your comments and wanted to address them all!

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: February 18, 2018 4:06 · For: Chapter 17
Oh! Nelya! Now I completely understand why Maedhros froze when Fingon said, "I'm not going to beg you to stay."

Oh! Poor Maedhros! Poor all of the Sons of Feanor, but especially Maedhros, for having to endure his parents passionate and fierce arguments, the slow decline of their marriage and everything associated with their family life. For having to be the pillar of strength and protectiveness for his little brothers even when he did not feel strong himself, as this war raged on.

I like the idea of Feanor and Nerdanel being both very similar in character. Fiery, passionate, headstrong individuals.

And I love your reason why Moryo is such a loud and furious presence within the family. Great idea! Was it not said that even though Curufin resembled his father in face and skill, that it was Caranthir that resembled his father's tempestuous character.

I had to chuckle at the use of 'Morgoth Industries' being behind Finwe's murder. Great use of the dark Lord as being some big corporate company intimidating the little guy. Not that Finwe was little by any means. He was quite wealthy wasn't he? Their whole family?

And so this explains why Maedhros won't give of himself so completely, wants the relationship, no question there, but at the same time doesn't want Fingon or anyone he's seeing knowing about the emotional and mental baggage that comes with dating him. That's so sad. :(

I just hope these two can see their way through all of it and come out the other side better for it. :)

Author's Response: Thanks Gabriel! Yes Maedhros was completely triggered by those words--he's already struggling and that phrase shook him. As the eldest he took on the role of protector for his brothers at a young age and also took over as almost a third parent--not to mention a mediator for his own parents. Not uncommon for older children in dysfunctional families. It's left him wth a overly protective instinct for those around him and a need to control his environment--understandably. But without communication it's hard for those outside his family circle to understand his motivation and responses--his brothers know him well and adapt but Fingon doesn't know enough to comprehend. And Maedhros feels he needs to be strong, perfect, indomitable and as you say he can't give of himself completely because he is not that in his mind--he sees himself as weak and damaged, imperfect. I'm glad the impression of Nerdanel and Fëanor's personalities rang true. Poor Moryo. And Tyelko blunt as always! Yes, Morgoth Industries worked for me--an entity powered by a rarely seen leader who leaves his minions to wreak havoc at his bidding. Yes Finwë was quite wealthy--pharmaceutical corporation that left him frightfully rich. Yeah Maedhros and Fingon are not in a great place right now but there are more chapters to come and things will move forward.

Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: February 16, 2018 22:16 · For: Chapter 17
Yay, more of these gorgeous boys!

His parents were both very passionate, intense, brilliant personalities. During the good times they fueled each other's creativity, spurred each other to new endeavors and showered each other with love and admiration.

In the not-so-good times the arguments raged, neither one willing to compromise easily.

Ooh yes, perfect. This is exactly how I've always seen them - brilliant, intense, passionate, fuelling each other but at the same time clashing.

Their words were razor sharp, the insults meant to cut and wound each other, with the unintended effect of devastating those who listened.

This breaks my heart though, those poor kids.

"I'm not going to beg you to stay."

She had given him a long look. "I wouldn't expect you to," she had said, walking away.

Oh, that's where Maedhros got that line. Ugh, poor thing :(

His parents had not spoken to each other again until they were in his hospital room six weeks later.

Ohhhhhh. I guess we're getting near the heart of his issues now?

Nelya, this is such a great chapter; it gives us so much insight into Maedhros's life with a few deft brushstrokes and carefully chosen details. Really well done - but please tell me Maedhros and Fingon work it out soon!?

Author's Response: Thanks Narya! I'm glad the complexity of Fëanor and Nerdanel's passionate love and tempestuous relationship rang true. I wanted to paint the picture of the way Maedhros stepped in to be a caring older brother at a very early age, how he took on responsibilities, how he tried to control the situation. These are very important traits that he has carried forward into his life-needing control, berating himself for things that are not his responsibility or under his control, maintaining a watchful protective attitude with those he loves. It also shows in the fierce loyalty his brothers have for him--how they want good things for him. I loved how you describes it as "brush strokes!" I was trying to show it without too many words--the dysfunctional family dynamics that affected them all. It is heartbreaking. This is a happy ending (eventually) story--I have a feeling the next few chapters might surprise and please you. At least I hope so!!! Fingers crossed they do!

Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: February 14, 2018 10:49 · For: Chapter 16
Hey Nelya! Good to see you again. It seems like ages since you posted last, though it was only a few weeks ago. :)

Just when I thought Maedhros and Fingon's relationship was going well...

Oh my gosh! So much misunderstanding! Nelya!

If its not Fingon, its Maedhros!

I mean they had some great quality time together Christmas shopping listening to the music at the Cathedral and back at Fingon's apartment.

Then it all falls apart again. :/

What's going on with these two?

It seems their relationship has come to something of a standstill.

Maglor is right. Maedhros needs to tell Fingon about his nightmares. All this sidestepping the issue is just going to make matters worse. I certainly don't want to see these two parting ways so soon. Why won't Maedhros be honest with Fingon? Is he afraid he will lose him? Then he doesn't know Fingon very well at all then, does he?

Its sad that its already becoming a problem. And that Fingon thinks its him. :(

Author's Response: Thanks so much Gabriel! Neither one of them is very good at communication. Maedhros is vainly trying to navigate this new terrain with all his emotional baggage--but it ends up making Fingon feel hurt. And Fingon is unaware that he is triggering Maedhros because he doesn't know the whole story. It's awkward and painful and confusing them both because this whole relationship has come as a bit of a surprise to them. Neither one was looking for it but both needed it. They've got a bit of sorting to do and the must both learn to TALK and not make assumptions. And yes you have nailed it--Maedhros thinks his baggage is just too much for anyone, not just Fingon. But he doesn't realize yet how strong and truly valiant Fingon is. More to come soon.

Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: February 12, 2018 20:35 · For: Chapter 16
"I should take you with me every time," Maedhros said. "You don't even know them all but you still had better ideas for my brothers than I did."

This is so very sweet :D I love this story so much, it's the perfect thing to put a smile on my face after working all day. My favourite moment was Fingon taking Maedhros up the hill and sharing the memories of his times there with his grandmother. It was so poignant and delicately handled.

"Seems I can't change your mind," he said, unable to keep the emotion out of his voice. "Fine. I'm not going to beg you to stay."

The color drained out of Maedhros at his words. "I wouldn't expect you to," he whispered then he nodded once, wrenched open the door and took off down the stairs.

"Maedhros!" But he was gone.

Aww, no! And things seemed to be going so well. Maedhros obviously has some very deep-seated issues. I hope somebody can talk sense into him - Maglor, maybe, if not Fingon?

Author's Response: Thanks Narya! Glad you liked the sweet moments of them shopping. Fingon hasn't really shared something deeply personal--this is an attempt to open up and also share something very meaningful to him. A place of solitude and solace. He's reaching out for that connection, atoning for earlier in a way but he just pushes a bit too hard and unwittingly triggers Maedhros. But Fingon's understandably frustrated--Maedhros has dropped some personal details but nothing meaningful. Maglor has his back and is a strong ally but there is only so much he can do with a stubborn brother. I'll post the next chapter soon--some light is shed there.

You must login () to review.