Oh no - poor Legolas. I hope the man will suffer for what he did. What Legolas needs now is for the rain to be torrential. With luck it will clean his eyes before the chemical can do permanent damage. I can't bear the thought of Legolas going blind.
Ah, I see the changes. That rings much truer at the end, with Legolas overhearing and protesting Ithildim's return. Also pain being what cripples him. Pain from burns....and eye pain, is some of the most intolerable there is.
Slashwise, I still think it will pass under the radar...but their "farewell" did seem more....intense,
we will see!
P.S. Now I know Alfirinion is 14 some things make much more sense. I was picturing him as about 10 or 11 and Eldoron younger.
Oh my goodness - you've plunged us straight into the action and kept up the tension all the way through. I hope Legolas's eyes will be alright, because it looks like he's about to have a major fight on his hands.
Yes, right into the action! I hope it is not too fast-paced. This will be a relatively short little thing and I do like a good thriller. :) I hope his eyes will be all right, too! ;)
Well if this is the Legolas/Ithidim version then this is where I will be reading!
So Ithildim still has his own home though...hmm
Great building of tension here. It all seems so fast and yet there is the time to get us really worried that they are not getting out of there!
I thought you said this was something light?? So far Legolas is blinded and they are all about to perish by fire. I hate to see your heavy stories!
Yes, Ithildim still has his own home. Honestly, I can't imagine wanting to live with Legolas all of the time, and when Ithildim originally moved to Ithilien in the midst of Legolas' grappling with the Sea, it would not have been healthy for them to co-reside. So its a holdover from old habits, I imagine.
Hope it did not seem too fast! My intent was to show how frantic it might feel to be in a situation like that, while charged with the protection of a child that surpasses one's thought for themself, and to show the utter contrast with the softness of chapter 1..
Well, ha! Your sentence about lightness made me laugh out loud! I guess my intrepretation of "light" is a little insight into how jaded I may have become? To me it seems light, because it has nothing to do with my work and thus doesn't drag me back into "work-mode" as I write it! (Hashing out Enough has really begun to feel like being in the office!) But I have very little experience with fires and the extent of my experience with political intrigue is working on political campaigns so... Light-ish? To me? Oops. Once we hit end of Ch4 & Ch5 it will ease up. And be actually light. But right now is the thriller bit! The title is "a small & passing thing" after all ;)
A promising start! I'm looking forward to more of this story :)
Thanks, Naledi! This one is coming easily so I am hoping the updates will be more frequent than you may be accustomed to...!
A wonderful start- lots of domestic detail which seems so comfortable and lulls the reader, but then there is this bit of tension introduced with Ithilden's sneaking up on Legolas, Legolas commenting how soft they have become, the threat of fire... so the rest of the chpater (at exactly the right moment) is read with this sense of threat and tension. Great writing
I am *really* pleased you caught that intentional shift without it seeming overdone. I loved to write the domesticity, but I couldn't let them get too comfortable, or it wouldn't be fanfiction. Thanks for dropping by!
Yay Legolas and Ithildim here as well. :-)
love them so much.
For what it's worth for my slash inferred stories I always choose slash as a category...even when the slash is subtle. Two reasons.
1:It means readers looking for slash who are likely to enjoy and read the story find them
2: People who get weird and hateful about slash stay away and don't accidently stumble on it and leave me bitchy reviews. That's my reasoning!
Yes, I think Faerie gets the real version of Legolas and Ithildim as this story/series continues and FF may get a slightly different version. Here first and foremost! So glad you still love them as their relationship--however subtly--develops.
that's very useful information re: inferred slash stories. I think I will probably end up listing this as slash after some thought today. You make a very good point in number 1!