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A Nameless Fear by Gabriel Teen
The King of the Woodland Realm has a secret, something he both fears and despises. When a more fouler evil is discovered...
Don't wanna fight this War by mangacrack Mature
The last Elves of Middle Earth sail to Valinor. With them is one of the few people Fëanor claimed to be his friend.
I'll be Yours if You'll be Mine by NelyafinweFeanorion Teen
Modern setting AU. Maedhros/Fingon. Maedhros owns a bookstore. Fingon is in grad school. Expect appearances from varied members...
Comfort and Joy by Narya Mature
It's the festive season in Gondolin, and Voronwë finds himself intrigued by the Captain of the Guard of the Secret Way.
Where the Shadows Lie by ziggy General Audiences
The One Ring has been destroyed and Sauron banished to the Dark with Morgoth. But not all the Rings were destroyed with the...
~ Magnificat of the Damned. Book IV: Anvil ~ by Spiced Wine Mature
From Angmar to the Dagor Dagorath. The final story in the Magnificat of the Damned series. The Doom and destiny of the...
Through Fields of Green by lotrfan General Audiences
Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli follow the Orcs after the Breaking of the Fellowship and attempt to rescue Merry and Pippin. This...

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Spiced Wine
09/20/18 12:15 pm
That was what I was doing, too! Glad you sorted it out :)
Gabriel
09/20/18 12:03 pm
Thank you Spiced! But I think I've figured it out. I think I inadvertantly missed something out. *Shakes head at self* Anyway I skipped previewing and just added and it seems to have worked.
Spiced Wine
09/20/18 11:52 am
You could just email me the text, with the charcters, ratings, summary etc
Spiced Wine
09/20/18 11:51 am
Who had this problem recently? Gabriel, I have access to posting fic, if you can send me your fic I could try and post it, although I am out for a while
Gabriel
09/20/18 11:45 am
Now its telling me i can't go past 'O' in the character section.
Spiced Wine
09/20/18 11:45 am
Also ensure everything you need to check on the form has been checked
Spiced Wine
09/20/18 11:44 am
I get that message myself, sometimes, it is a glitch, and I have to try again
Gabriel
09/20/18 11:33 am
Okay trying again.
Spiced Wine
09/20/18 11:25 am
So I am stumped! Yes, try going back?
Spiced Wine
09/20/18 11:24 am
Well, there are no chapters waiting to be validated on here, which is a glitch but *sometimes* happens
Shout Archive



Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: April 04, 2018 20:40 · For: Chapter 22 ~ The Need to Surrender ~
Maedhros came to his side, raised a brow.
‘It can happen,’ he said in a low voice. ‘Mind-suicide we called it, when the mind wills death. I saw it in Angband. If the pain is too great...it is rare, but it can happen. I saw a tortured thrall will himself to die.’


Fëanor bent his head against his son’s. ‘But not thou.’

‘There were times,’ Maedhros murmured. ‘that I wanted to, times that I begged myself to die, times I begged them to kill me. They would not, of course. And how could I?’

‘Thou hast Eldenel’s blood in thee.’ Fëanor held him, feeling the warmth, the long, taunt muscles of his back under his hands, the spice-musk of his perfumed hair.

‘And thine, my father. And thine.’


Oh, my heart. I don't know where to begin - Maedhros's torment, or Edenel's, or his devotion to his father, or Fëanor's unswerving, fierce love for him. And then, this:

‘I would have fought beside thy sons in Doriath had I lived, at the Havens of Sirion.’

I'm going to cry. It's so cathartic to see Fingolfin finally giving in to the truth and depths of his feelings for his brother. I know you said Things are going to happen, though, and I am scared for them.

The Van/Maglor scene was wonderful, this line nearly had me punching the air:

Maglor pushed him back against the wall. ‘Thou art my family, thou fool. And twice over.’

So many thousands of years of buried feelings coming to a head here!
And I also loved Maglor going right into the essence of what Van is, seeing it, working with it. This line made the hairs on my arms stand up:

‘Thou didst play the cosmos, Singer of the Song.’

Just beautiful. A sad chapter in some ways, but cathartic and gorgeous.

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much, Narya. I know: beautiful Maedhros and what he must have suffered :( Yet his loyalty to his brother’s and the Oath and his own lionhearted courage would not allow him to die.

I loved writing Fingolfin in this and the last chapter really unleashing his authentic self, but yes, thing ‘will happen’. I’m not horrible enough to kill anyone here, don’t worry!

I am so glad you liked Maglor ‘playing the cosmos’. So much between these two, and always complicated.

Thank you for your comment :)


Name: ziggy (Signed) · Date: April 04, 2018 16:46 · For: Chapter 22 ~ The Need to Surrender ~

As always, your erotic scenes are always the very best- with their gorgeous imagery and passion. These beautiful men with their intensity and courage just make me swoon!!! Oh and the IMMENSITY of Vanimore, hat description of what Maglor finds is extraordinary. SUperb.

BTW- which chapter/fic deals with Elgalad's death and rebirth- where can I read about him NOT being Vanimore's beloved anymore- I had forgotten although he certainly has taken a step back in this fic.



Author's Response: Thank you, Ziggy :)

Well, I suppose Vanimórë does love Elgalad, but ‘Elgalad’ is not Elgalad, as such, so their relationship is complicated at the moment, a bit up in the air!
Nevertheless, none of them in this story are really monogamous, even those who are ‘couples’, like Beleg and Túrin. I suppose Maedhros and Fingon are the most ‘couply’ which is why I don't write about them because without tension and conflict, there’s nothing to write about but fluff which just makes me fall asleep, writing or reading. So no-one is really going to end up with someone permanently with wedding vows. Of course Elgalad is important to Vanimórë and moreover understands as he knew Eru. So they’re often together.

Elgalad ‘died’ or didn’t, at the end of Dark God. Vanimórë thought he had killed him, and so for a long time he was steeped in guilt, and then, in ‘Abyss’ in this story, he saw Elgalad’s soul, and thought he would be destroyed forever by Ungoliant, but in that chapter, we see Elgalad as he truly is.


Name: PoppyMarie (Signed) · Date: March 15, 2018 22:29 · For: Chapter 21 ~ The Price of Life and Love ~

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Finally! Oh I loved FIngolfin being the one to just thow it out there, like "what are you going to do about it?' LOVED IT.

The dialouge here was sadly similar to a lot of what I hear and see in the world today, I was reminded of conversations I've had in my life with people who just refuse to let things go, to let other live as they want. They take things that have nothing to do with them and somehow twist them into a personal offense. Its utterly insane. 

I truly thought that Fingolfin was going to kill Turgon, but I am glad he didn't now that I've thought about it, it would have left him in a bad palce im sure. 

I am awed by Van's power, and that moment with the door to nothing was quite terrifying. I do hope we will see some more of him and Elgalad interacting with the others again, I think Maglor needs to have a long talk with Vanimorë, he needs to have that right now I think.

Thank you so much for writing!



Author's Response: Thank you so much, Poppy Marie :) I am so glad you liked this. Unfortunately, Fingolfin *et al* have had to deal with the same issues we deal with now, but luckily for them, they can reject it for the gross idiocy it is. He just have been waiting to say that for an incredibly long time! Yes, Vanimórë and Maglor are going to have a conversation of some sort!


Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: March 06, 2018 21:05 · For: Chapter 21 ~ The Price of Life and Love ~
I was so pleased to see this that I did a happy dance on the sofa!!

And Fëanor was inside himself again, feeling the drag of gravity, the solidity of Earth, of the weight of his flesh. He pushed the Flame Imperishable into his body. Torn cells, vessels, sprang back together, knitting into wholeness. He tried to breath, could not. His throat had spasmed shut against upwelling blood.

‘Father!’ Maglor cried like death, like horror (another horror) he could not bear.

With a sound like tearing silk, he wrenched air into his lungs and screamed. He was healing, but as a god heals, so swiftly that the act itself was an assault upon the body. Starfire surged through every vein, lit the dim gardens.


Wow - just gorgeous imagery, so powerful. Maglor's horror and grief made me cry. And Fingolfin was all set to kill Turgon...I am not surprised, but it is so sad that it has come to this.

Gods, Fëanor thought, I do not have the time or patience for all these locked-up people.

That made me laugh, though. Not many people would dare to get snippy about Van like that!

Elgalad’s silver beauty and power was stupendous, his eyes glowed with unearthly light. He inclined his head as he came to the foot of the dais and Fëanor gave him a look which once, he would have feigned to blush at, the dissembler. Now, he met it, smiling faintly as he bowed.

Beautiful. The shift in the power balance between them and the subtle changes in how they interact is delightful.

Stupid question - does Elgalad know what he is, even as a child? If not, at what point does he realise? Sorry if you've explained this somewhere, I may need to go and do a re-read!

‘Because Fëanor and I were lovers.’ Fingolfin pronounced each word hard and chiselled and clear, and Fëanor’s heart leapt, burning and jubilant in his breast. ‘Half-brothers and lovers.’

YES!!! Finally! Oh, that must have been so satisfying to write him owning the relationship in front of all their people, after all these years of them dancing around one another and hiding it from everyone except their close family. My heart did a leap as I read it. And I love Fëanor's love and admiration for him, too.

When thou hast walked in starfire, stood on the brink of black holes, bathed in the birth of suns, and walked through their long deaths, seen the immensity and beauty of the cosmos

*shivers* and there you go again, reminding me how huge the universe is. Stunning images.

Vanimórë sketched a bow. ‘My Lords,’ he said with deep respect, and walked out of the hall. Fëanor saw Maglor, his face set, stride after him.

Ooh, I wonder how that conversation will play out?

Ahh, so Turgon is dead. Well...serves him right, I guess, but what happened? (I know, I'll have to wait until next time.)

Author's Response: was so glad to write this but I also felt a bit guilty, because ‘things’ are going to happen. O_O I think Fingolfin would have killed Turgon, but that would have left a weight on him. What happened, we’ll see in the next chapter.

It was wonderful to write Fingolfin owning his relationship with Fëanor, there comes a point when something snaps and this was it for him.

Elgalad — it was difficult because he was not supposed to remember, but when in Dol Guldur in Dark prince, he did and he went to the Timeless Halls, and after that he almost forced himself to forget — most of the time. I did write it somewhere, although I’m blowed if I know where, latter chapters of Magnificat III or in this story, I think?

As for Maglor and Vanimórë— and Turgon, I am writing it now :) Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, Narya :) Hope today was a better day for you.


Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: February 11, 2018 18:40 · For: Chapter 20 ~ The Lingering Past ~
Oh my God!!! Spiced!!!!! Not again :'( :'( :'(

He's a god now, so he can't die properly...right???

Sorry. Not particularly coherent right now. I do love the idea of Finarfin being rescued though :D it would be wonderful to finally see unity between the three brothers.

Author's Response: If I’d known so many people (well, on AO3, nort here) would be worried about Fëanor I would not have left it here, Naledi. No, of course he cannot die. He can be hurt, of course.

Yes, Fëanor has had the idea of three High Kings of the Noldor in Valinor for a very long time. Thank you for commenting :)


Name: PoppyMarie (Signed) · Date: February 10, 2018 6:04 · For: Chapter 20 ~ The Lingering Past ~

Oh god no! Fëanor! Who did this and how? Ahhhhh! one of the worst cliffhangers you've ever left us with! 

Now I wonder who would do something like this? There are plenty of people that hate the Fëanorians and anyone assosiated with them, but to do something so extreme, and stupid, what do they really think the result will be? 

I also loved the point where Vanimorë steps in to the conversation to talk some sense into Olwë, the elves really do need Fëanor, and his mind to lead them into the next age. I also love the idea that came up in Fëanor's conversation with Thingol, of him and his brothers replacing the trio on Taniquetil. It just conjured up some beutiful imagery in my head, I can't wait to see if that happens! 

Great chapter as usual! I am waiting for the next one on the edge of my seat, the suspense is killing me! What happened!?



Author's Response: Well, I can tell you that as Feanor is a god, it will not be terminal, Poppy Mariie. I am sorry to l;eave it there but it would have gone into a huge chapter therwise, so this seemed the best place to end.

Yes, Fëanor is definitely needed, but I suppose the people who’ve lived in Valinor forever, almost, do not like any kind of change :? Oh, Fëanor definitely wants to rescue Finarfin and have three kings in Valinor. :) Thank you for commenting :)


Name: Encairion (Signed) · Date: February 03, 2018 2:36 · For: Chapter 16 Unchained
Something I've loved in these last chapters, was the dive into Feanor's head.  Your Feanor is so fascinating, and he seemed like an enigma in the earlier stories (or maybe its just been too long since I read the first stories!), but now if feels like we are seeing more and more of him, getting to see more of what his relationship with Nerdanel was like, and how that effected him in Valinor.  And seeing Valinor from his POV has been perfect; I can feel the suffocation of the place in his memories, and how that still lingers on today.  It has also been interesting to see how Feanor learned from Fingolfin about kingship, and how he can control his anger if he wants to, holding it in....while I think this has made him a better king, I also feel the unnaturalness of the suppression.  I am eagerly waiting the time when Turgon's spies are kicked-out, the reigns set free, and Feanor and the Noldor are able to love openly and with the full measure of their passions without consequences.
These chapters have been wonderful and beautiful and absolutely fascinating.  Thank you for sharing 


Author's Response: Thank you, Encairion, for reading :)
Yes, Fëanor has had to tamp down his natural personality over the last thousands of years, while New Cuiviénen was a haven in the chaos of the world. I always base the cataclysm on an event some scientists believe did happen about 12,000 years ago, when an asteroid may have fragmented and its fragments struck the Earth. He wanted to hold the Noldor together and so he and Fingolfin (and Glorfindel) did, but it meant repressing himself. Yes, he could have banished Turgon and those who followed him, but what for, really, having ideas he didn’t agree with? It might not have been murder, as Elves are resilient, but it would have fostered resentment and fear. So, he and all of them, reined themselves in. They did have some ‘comfort’ but in secret.
However, when the Valar are thrown down, things shall be different. :)


Name: PoppyMarie (Signed) · Date: January 25, 2018 16:32 · For: Chapter 19 ~ Beyond The Memories ~

Oh god that opening scene! it was so painful :'( and the fact that in some universe it is real... I hope that Van can dream of a better one next time. 

The moments with Vanya are beautiful, she is so wholesome, wise, and just good. I feel like its just what Van needed in that moment, and she really is one of the only people he is vulnerable around, and I feel like he needed to be vulnerable, just for a little while. Her insight on his relationship with Mairon is interesting, she is so candid, and no doubt he will be relfecting on that conversation for a while. 

All of those Fëanorians and other great elven legends in one room! I loved that scene! It was almost too much beauty and brilliance in one place, and so much tension! I am happy that Bainalph is gaining his vitality back, I can't wait to see more of his interactions with the Fëanorians, there is that so much tension in all of those interactions. I am not sure how to feel about Thranduil, he makes me so angry at times, and the way he acts entitled to Bainalph is just unnaceptable. I wish he would show some genuine regret for what he has caused, and like you said, he needs to decide what he feels towards Baialph, or just leave him alone to live his life. 

Another amazing chapter! Thanks for writing!  



Author's Response: I know that was a horrible opening, Poppy Marie. Sorry! But I hope it was made a little better by Vanya because yes, she is the only one really, Vanimórë can ever speak to about his fears. He so used (too used) to appearing strong. Sauron always knew his innermost thoughts, of course, but not anymore.

I am so glad you liked that scene in the hall :) I’ve dreamed of writing something like that for ten years, when they were all in Valinor and alive! And I don’t doubt that Bainalph will have more interactions with them — they also act as a shield against Thranduil, though I’m sure Bainalph would not want to feel he needs one. Thank you very much for commenting :)


Name: Encairion (Signed) · Date: January 24, 2018 23:06 · For: Chapter 14 The Lost Shores of Memory

“'Where did you send them?' Mairon put an arm through his son's, thoroughly enjoying the expression on their faces. It was petty to gloat, but who could blame him? Let fear pile on fear. Let them wonder what side Vanimórë, Fëanor's blood-father, was on, what side Mairon himself was on. Oh, that would be the greatest of ironies, would it not, if he fought on the side of the Noldor. If he had the chance...”

OMG Marion in this scene was just delicious!  I wonder if he will end up fighting with the Noldor?  I suppose it will all depend on if he can survive being flayed, or whatever else Celebrimbor has in mind for him.  Oh, and then Finrod, and Gil-galad, and everyone else he killed and tortured to death.

His interactions with Van are super fascinating in this scene tho, the balance has shifted, and Van is in complete control, and Sauron knows that Van can destroy him if he wants….Van’s relationship with his father is so complex and under-layered, which, of course, makes it all the more engrossing!

You have got me feeling bad for those Elves who were reduced to shadows of themselves, sucked dry by the Valar.  It gives me the creeps what the Valar did.  Their life-force is being used as a food-source :shivers:.  It’s like a giant spider has slowly been sucking them dry, feasting on them.  It’s just perfect!  So like the Valar.  But damn, I hope once those Elves throw off their daze/recover their minds, they are as disgusted with the Valar as they should be! (tho I am not keeping my fingers crossed for all of them)  I am really interested to see what plans Feanor has for Finarfin!  It will, undoubtedly, be interesting :wink:

I loved that when Feanor was feeling trapped, his eyes sought out Fingolfin in the hall.  And one look at Fingolfin, released the constriction around his throat. 

That scene with Van and Elgalad, or rather, this entire chapter, actually everything you write, is so deliciously sensual.  It’s like silk.  When I think about your writing, I think about jewels, a whole wealth of jewels, and I have to pause to pick each one up and savor it.  The beauty of your word-smithing is breathtaking.

 

 



Author's Response: Thank you, Beth :) I think Sauron would fight with the Noldor. No-one (except Vanimórë) can totally destroy him, although the Noldor are going to have their revenge on him some anyhow. Although, as he’s said, he’s on no-one’s side but his own...

I think those ‘acolytes’ in Ilmarin definitely would want a chance to strike back after their long half-life of slavery — once they’re recovered. And Finarfin, hah! Fëanor will have his work cut out, I think, but he’s persistent ;)

Ah, meeting Fingolfin eyes, yes. I loved writing that. That’s always been where Fëanor’s true freedom lies, I think, the first time he fell in love, escaping the cage of his dead marriage. With Fingolfin. Thank you so very much for commenting, and fore the kindness of your words :)


Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: January 23, 2018 19:38 · For: Chapter 19 ~ Beyond The Memories ~
I'm on the train so reviewing on my phone - apologies for any typos!

Oh my GOODNESS, that opening :'( poor, poor Van. Knowing that everything that could have happened, did happen, somewhere, is a horrifying thought. The scene with Vanya was gorgeous; it's wonderful to see her with such grace and dignity. And she has to be the only one who could get away with calling her brother an idiot!

I'm fascinated by the idea of her as a Dark Lady - and also by the possibility that she and Van both lived, and were friends and rivals through the years.

I really liked the reunion between Legolas and Bainalph. Interesting that Elgalad has been avoiding Legolas and the others - although seeing the depth of their affection for Van made me smile. And I adored the scene with Bainalph in the hall, learning the names of the Noldor; the way you used just a few words to describe each of them, and capture them so perfectly, is breathtaking.

And Olen at the end there! I wasn't expecting that...

Wonderful, as always :-)

Author's Response: Thank you very much, Narya :) I know it was a horrible opening, but it could be important later. And I am so glad Vanya came because she is the one person who will offer comfort he would accept. And maybe the only one who could comfort him at all. don’t think I’ll ever get to a ‘Dark Lady’ story because I have so much to write, but if anyone else wanted to explore it, they could.

I think Bainalph was right that Elgalad was avoiding people. He had known others, Thranduil, Legolas, Edenel, and those of Imladris too, and deceived them as well.

Thank you - I did love writing the Noldor :) and Olwë was quite unexpected to me as well :)


Name: PoppyMarie (Signed) · Date: January 18, 2018 16:55 · For: Chapter 18 ~ Unpleasant Revelations ~

Oh poor FIngolfin! I did not expect that kind of reaction from Turgon, I always thought of him as a kind of person who clings to thier ideals just for the sake of their pride, but this is much deeeper. Honestly his outburst was disturbing, the reveal of what was lurking under the surface, and the fact that he could hate his own father so much, I feel terrible for Fingolfin. I truly hope he will not blame himself for this, but I feel like it will take a while for him to process. 

Mairon always seems to see the big picture doesn't he? Obviously he is correct in saying that Van needs people to center him, but I can't help wondering if he has ulterior motives? He clearly likes antagonizing people, but he always has a purpose. 

I am so happy to see Bainalph again, but the whole situation with Thranduil kind of casts a shadow over his rebirth. I feel like he is not finished causing trouble for Bainalph :(

I am very excited for the next chapter, but I'm a bit scared for Van and what he must do with Melkor, I have a bad feeling about that... 

Thank your for writing as always!



Author's Response: Turgon’s jealousy has just grown and grown as the years pass, and what can be done about it? I’m not sure at this stage, Poppy Marie :/ Despite his suspecting it, Fingolfin would have felt this deeply, poor man!

Mairon, well, lol, he would always have ulterior motives :)_ But he is right, in a way.

Yes, with Bainalph, I doubt Thranduil will just give up, but he ought to question his own motives first, whether this is just ‘habit’ or whether he truly feels something for Bainalph :/

Thank you so much for commenting, and I hope you have a great weekend :)


Name: ziggy (Signed) · Date: January 15, 2018 23:41 · For: Chapter 18 ~ Unpleasant Revelations ~

There is always such richness in everything you write, Spiced. The imagery is glorious as always, the scintilating characters that just dazzle me, and a deeply philosopical and theological tenor to the whole fic leaves me rather awed by your imagination and capacity for inveting this world that is so far beyond what Tolkien ever thought with his brilliant but very conventional Christian-orientated world- and a rather puritanical Christian one at that. This wonderful conflict between THAT world of the 'powers'/valar/angels/gods and the new magnificent gods is just ataggering.

 

But my favourite bit:Fëanorion eyes smouldered with ill-concealed and predatory thoughts as they rested on Bainalph

 

Just that. LOve it all, but that made me grin.



Author's Response: I really wanted to get out from under the Judeao-Christian ‘sense’ of Tolkien’s work. And the Valar just fill me with blah and boredom :) Lol at Fëanor and his sons; predators all :) Thank you so much, Ziggy


Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: January 15, 2018 22:28 · For: Chapter 18 ~ Unpleasant Revelations ~
Yikes, Turgon is a nasty piece of work, isn't he? I had thought there might be some hope for him after the earlier Magnificat stories, but apparently not. Thank goodness for Edenel.

Edenel was all lean muscle, smelling of spices and what Fingolfin thought of as the scent of starlight over the waters of the first Cuiviénen far off in the deeps of time. But there was that other scent, burning diamonds, Tindómion had named it, from those buried years of unspeakable agony and changing in Utumno.

That's such a gorgeous description - such a wonderful sense of character.

here was an air of fragility about him, like gilt filigree

This too. You capture all your characters so beautifully, like different notes in a song. It's wonderful.

I love the images at the end - "the arpeggios of life" made me catch my breath, and then Van drifting out into the stars to confront the darkness. I can't get over the beautiful, complex, layered cosmos you've created; it's phenomenal. I am so envious.

Author's Response: You’re so kind, Narya :) The worse hates and arguments can take place within families :( It has been a blow to Fingolfin.

Aww thank you for liking the descriptions! I’m so very glad


Name: Encairion (Signed) · Date: January 14, 2018 3:35 · For: Chapter 13 Blood Of My Soul

I have devoured these last chapters, and they leave me speechless.  They are…beyond anything I ever imagined!  The plot-twists are mind-blowing.  I think I read through most of what happened with Van with my mouth hanging open lol

You have been hinting for a while now that Feanor was MORE, something even he did not understand.  I have to say, I love that it was Van who sired him, sired ALL the Noldor.  When I read that, I thought: that makes so much sense.  They have Van’s passion and his pride, also some of his flaws (and I loved that too, that he recognized that Turgon sprang from him too).  It just feels so right, so complete.  A tale come full circle.

When I was reading about his time going back to the beginning, to when Eru came, I thought for a moment that he would end up being Eru.  But I am so glad he is not, since 1. Eru in now time is a profoundly lonely being and 2. I really love that Eru came from a universe he’d destroy, with Melkor still in him, and it was Van who ripped Melkor from Eru, and it was Van who possessed the life needed for creation inside him.

OK, I absolutely adore Van’s fly-in moment to the Elves.  Like…the description was just WOW, and the dialogue, everyone’s reactions, Van’s nonchalance mixed with dramatics that is just SO Van, it was perfection.

“ Maglor's silver eyes were unblinking. They held a look in them that Vanimórë had to pause and hunt for, until he realised it was that which a man might turn on a stranger. Have I gone so far? He thought, achingly, of Eru's agelong loneliness.”

This has me worrying.  Was Van reading Maglor wrong, or was Maglor really looking at him like that?  And was Maglor just not seeing that Van was still Van under all that Power, or does Van not see how much he actually has been changed?  He seems human still, and defiantly still possesses his same bonfire of love and self-hate at the core of himself, so he still feels like Van, but has he been fundamentally changed in a way we just can’t see yet?

I’ve got to say that the scene between Feanor and Finwe is one of my favorites in the last chapters.  I really felt Feanor’s emotions, he felt very close, and I was hurting for him.  And yet it was a freeing moment too, one in which he was able to look at the person Finwe had become, and let him go.  He thought that if he’d still been the same Feanor of his first life, he would have been seriously affected by Finwe’s cruel rejection, but he was not anymore.  And now, even though he wanted to find someone who loved him in Finwe, that he did not, is not a crushing revelation, and he was able to walk away.

 

These chapters have been an incredible ride!!!  I imagine it feels amazing to finally be writing the Elves’ war with the Valar, and Feanor coming into his own, declared high king of the Elves!!!



Author's Response: Oh, thank you, Encairion :) I’m so glad you enjoyed this. It has been a bit of a whirlwind, the last chapters.

I hope Maglor was not seeing Van as a stranger, that he was just wondering what Vanimórë was now. I think that is the danger, and Van would see it himself, keeping human, grounded. He certainly doesn’t see himself as Eru. But it is, as he says, a paradox. Eru couldn’t have created the Universe from ‘nothing’, he needed what was in Vanimórë, all his memories of life, which Vanimórë wouldn’t let him have.But everything that the Noldor are, good and bad, are very much what he is.

Yes, Fëanor, I felt sorry for him, too and you are right. Fëanor of old wouldn’t have been able to let Finwë go like that. But most of the Elves of Valinor have become very strange and insular, Valinor is like an old colonial backwater where the buildings are falling down and the infrastructure decayed, but they still cling on to the old life. Not all, but a great many of them, and without really realising it.

I am pretty glad (and amazed) to get to this point, as it’s been over ten years now!

Thank you so much for commenting!



Name: PoppyMarie (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2018 1:59 · For: Chapter 17 Between The Shadows Of Truth

Oh all of the delicious interactions here! That has always been one of my favorite elements to your stories, the layers of complexity that your conversations hold have always been fascinating, and give me lots to ponder. You do multifaceted relationships like no one else and I love it!


I so enjoy seeing Fëanor and Fingolfin interacting in a more casual sense, the humor and half joking jibes they take at one another are exactly how I’ve always imagined their relationship. Its good the Van laughing, he has been very removed from everything lately and the little things like this, his kiss with Elgalad, show that he has not entirely lost himself. I also hope that Fingolfin’s talk with Turgon can knock some sense into him, at least for Fingolfin’s sake, he clearly loves his son, and this can’t be an easy situation for him. It seems that most everyone’s problems with the Fëanorians is born of jealousy and a resentment that festers into enmity.


Mairon is such an enigma, one moment he seemed almost pleasant, and the next, he was all cruelty and malice again. The idea that he no longer has a hold on Vanimorë seems to be goading him, the thought that the part he played in Van’s life is not hugely important anymore seems to anger and almost confuse him. When Elgalad showed up seemed to be where he got nasty, almost a jealous response. I would love to see the two of them interact more, if Van were not there to stop them I wonder what would happen? I wonder if Van really would be pushed to the point where he would unmake Mairon? It seems that it could go either way, but Mairon might be right, I’m not sure Van would. But he said that gods could learn to feel as humans did almost like a threat, so I wonder what he will do with Mairon after the Feanorians have confronted him.


I am very excited to see what will go down in this battle with the Valar. It sounds as if they will be getting a fight now, so I am hoping for some epic action, and some justice for all their crimes!


This was amazing, and I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter. Thank you for writing!



Author's Response: Thank you so much for commenting, Poppy Marie :) I hope you had a great Christmas and that this year will be wonderful

I enjoyed writing the interactions here. I always love Fëanor and Fingolfin's interactions and in a way, they are 'comfortable' (if that is the word) in this situation (if frustrated) because they became accustomed to it long ago when they were first lovers. And yes, it was nice to see Van laughing. He is trying so hard to be normal and of course that's not possible, but he needs to be, anything that can help him keep grounded is a good thing. Even his verbal spats with his father do help, in an odd way. And I think Elgalad knows this more than anyone: that Van needs to keep his 'humanity'.

I believe Mairon is jealous, though he would never admit it, of Elgalad, that he has no power over Vanimórë. Or almost none, he can still plant doubt in his mind, as we see. And actually I am about to write Elgalad and Mairon interacting 'privately', so we'll see how that turns out!

I have a little bit more to write before the battle with the Valar, but it's getting closer :) Thank you so much for commenting and have a good weekend :)


Name: ziggy (Signed) · Date: December 24, 2017 13:29 · For: Chapter 17 Between The Shadows Of Truth

Oh how I love your wicked, evil, cunning Mairon! Truly the Dark Lord, nastier than the brutish Melkor really- who is just a crushing force and not subtle or clever like Mairon. I love that second section between the two (although I admit I have got a little lost between and need to go back and re-read the whole of this story at some point because it does demand, rightly, a whole focus. Beautifully written as always, philosophically dense and uncompromising- and morally and ethically complex - which I love!

 

Epic proportions, fabulous in every sense with huge characters -I always imagine them as if they were outlined by stars.



Author's Response: Thank you so much, Ziggy :) It has surprised me how interesting it's been writing Mairon :)

Outlined by stars - that's lovely :) Thank you! And thank you for being a great support!


Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: December 24, 2017 10:17 · For: Chapter 17 Between The Shadows Of Truth
Yay, an update! What a perfect Christmas present.

So much simmering tension here as the Noldor get ready for battle. I feel so sorry for them though, stuck here again where they felt so trapped.


'Was it a good ride?' Fëanor asked.

Choking, Fingolfin reached for a napkin as Fingon slapped him on the back. Bastard! he flashed to his half-brother as he gasped for air.

'Did something go down the wrong way?' Fëanor asked in mock-concern.

'It must have,' Fingolfin coughed. Vanimórë had leaned his head on his knees, shoulders shaking


*Snorts* you can always depend on Fëanor. Love that Van just collapses laughing, as well.

The power dynamic with Sauron, Van and Elgalad is fascinating - Sauron's pride in his son, Van knowing that now he has the power to obliterate his father, Elgalad's fury and Sauron's sneering dismissal of him:


'There is no need, anymore, to pretend you are stupid,' Mairon smiled into the water-clear eyes.


I really loved this, too:

Elgalad wrenched his wrist free, ascended into the sky in a silver storm of wings. Vanimórë launched himself, caught Elgalad and kissed him, a clash of two gods that turned flurrying snow into fiery embers.

Such a gorgeous image.

Have a wonderful Christmas, Spiced, and thank you again for sharing your world and characters with us. *Hugs*

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Narya :) And I hope you have a lovely Christmas too, and that 2018 is a beautiful year :) {{{Hugs}}}

I was glad to see Vanimórë laughing. He does not do it enough, at least not from genuine humour :)

Sauron is so sure, so very sure that Vanimórë wouldn't obliterate him...maybe he's right...

Thank you so much for all your lovely comments and support :)


Name: PoppyMarie (Signed) · Date: November 29, 2017 21:58 · For: Chapter 16 Unchained

I'm late on reviwing, school has been overwhelming, but seeing an update is always a bright spot! 

I like the overall theme of this chapter, the idea of being freed from the way things used to be, its like when the noldor were reborn they got a second chance, but now is where they really have a chance to make the world theirs. Not just for them either, but for all the elves and the Maiar, and now even the gods. The power of the final scene here is amazing, the image I get of all of the gods in their various states, coming and bowing as one, it was breathtaking. 

I really like hearing from charaters who we haven't seen before, I wonder how Thingol's meeting with Feanor will go? I'm excited to see how meeting face to face will effect Thingol's point of view. 

I also really hope someone can talk some sense into Turgon, he's getting a bit annoying. He needs to get over himself a little. I would love to see if Feanor could win him over, but Turgon seems like he can't stand him so it seems doubtful. 

Thanks as always for another great chapter!



Author's Response: I hope you'll be able to relax when the holidays begin, Poppy :)

I had to add the gods, as, for one thing, I always have something else to write if I ever decided to branch out with this story :)

Yes. We will see how Thingol and Fëanor get along. At this very moment, I believe Thingol might hate Melian and the Valar more than the Fëanorions.

As for Turgon. I just have no interest in him; he hid away in Gondolin except for the Nirnaeth Arnoediad and just died in his tower. Big thumbs down. So I have really no interest in making him likeable, I am afraid. That;s how I am with characters I dislike :/ Thank you very much for reviewing :)


Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: November 25, 2017 15:55 · For: Chapter 16 Unchained
Oh wow. The scope of this is phenomenal - as someone further down said (I think it was ziggy?) you've moved so far beyond fanfic.

Thingol's reunion with his friends from Doriath was really touching. And I like Earwen much more than I expected to. Elwing was interesting too - I always see her as a bit of a feral cat.

And Elgalad and Van...mmm.

He could devour them, blot them out like the memory of a shadow or chain them to his will for eternity. They knew it. He hoped he would never need to.

But now, as one, they bowed.


*shivers* wonderful stuff.

Author's Response: Thank you, Narya :) I like to give myself a bit of wriggle-room in stories in case I ever wanted to write more :)

I am heavily influenced in Elwing by Emcairion's writing, having not much thought about her before.

I am so glad you enjoyed it :)


Name: ziggy (Signed) · Date: November 25, 2017 10:56 · For: Chapter 16 Unchained

You write so beautifully:

 

The wide, paved road ran straight east to the coast where it branched north to Alqualondë and on down to the port on the bay of Eldamar. Fields, grey in the moonlight stretched either side, sloping down to the sea.

 

'You feel it?' Legolas asked softly.

 

'I feel it,' Edenel replied. 'And we both know what it is.'

 

But nothing stirred in the soft night. There was only the feeling that they two were not alone on this road, that a legion of ghosts passed them with every breath of the night-wind. It was like the Day of Souls in the Greenwood in ancient times, when the dead were called back to glean what comfort they could from the living.

 

Vanimórë had called them, asked them to come; he had not told them why, but there was enough urgency in his mind-voice to bring them out into the night. They had extricated themselves from the conversations, the simmering excitement. Legolas thought that Glorfindel knew what was happening, but he had said nothing, only nodded once as Legolas left the hall.

 

When they saw the two figures walking up the road, they halted, but these were too real, too solid to be wraiths. The brightness of the moon was echoed by the pure white head of one of them.

 

Legolas stopped as if running up against a wall. Edenel felt a shaft of grief, launched long ago, strike his breast.

 

 

 

That image is just superb, gently imagined and full of tenderness and love that characterises your writing- in the subject and the affection for the characters.

 

This chapter with its focus on freedom, from mind- enslavement to actual imprisonment, is really wonderful. I am feeling the build up as you gradually assemble all the key witnesses and characters for the great battle to begin. Can't imagine how that is going to happen but you do get this sense of impending war.

 

(What happened to Eru?)



Author's Response: You are so kind, Ziggy :) Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and Eru is just gone to prepare, not gone-gone, but he is not in the Timeless Halls


Name: ebbingnight (Signed) · Date: November 19, 2017 21:17 · For: Chapter 15 The Salt of Bitter Tears
And it's breaking my heart that Van feels responsible now for not having looked after Bainalph, while he's still bearing the guilt for Vanya's "fate" (despite her telling him not to) and hasn't reconciled himself to the fact that he wasn't as responsible for Elgalad's "fate" as he thought. If anyone should feel responsible for Bainalph's lonely, ugly, long-sought-after death, it surely isn't Van. So now I'm anxious to see Melkor AND Thranduil brought to some kind of reckoning... but what kind, I can't begin to imagine!!

Author's Response: :( He wasn't there, Ebbingnight - he didn't really want to come back and by the time he did (probably a thousand years) then it was too late, but of course he thinks that because he theoretically could have done something, he should have (if he had not been steeped in self-pity).


Name: ziggy (Signed) · Date: November 19, 2017 19:41 · For: Chapter 15 The Salt of Bitter Tears

Oh, BAinalph! Do we know of his death already?? I am sorry I have forgotten when and where- but it sounds cruel and sad. But Van brings hi in cack in one fell and beautifully dangerous (one feels) swoop. I wish Thranduil had not been such a heartless bastard to Bainalph- in the earlier fic in Carn Dum I had hopes for him- but obviously poorly palced. 

This was a wonderful chapter- especially Nerdanel and Fanari- I loved that intimacy of sharing a room and saying more than they would normally in the dark.



Author's Response: We didn't, no, Ziggy, at the end of Dark God when the comet fragmented, the wood-Elves took refuge, but there was a long span of time before this story - I am thinking about 6-7,000 years, and it was then Bainalph died.

I think Thranduil never got over the guilt he felt about Bainalph, and after, it was too late, Bainalph would not just be used :(

Oh, yes, I think that kind of close woman-to-woman talk is something that might be good for Nerdanel once she accepts who Fanari is and what she represents :) Thank you, Ziggy


Name: ziggy (Signed) · Date: November 19, 2017 10:45 · For: Chapter 14 The Lost Shores of Memory

just lovethat whole scene with mairon- the humour, the urbsane sophistication, the bitchiness!

Mairon put an arm through his son's, thoroughly enjoying the expression on their faces. It was petty to gloat, but who could blame him? Let fear pile on fear. Let them wonder what side Vanimórë, Fëanor's blood-father, was on, what side Mairon himself was on. Oh, that would be the greatest of ironies, would it not, if he fought on the side of the Noldor. If he had the chance... 

 

He had no illusions. His son would not lift to finger to save him from Fëanorion vengeance; he possessed a streak of Mairon's own pitilessness which showed in battle, in how he punished malefactors. But still, let them wonder...let them fear. 

'Tol Eresseä for now. There is a place there, for those who returned from Middle-earth and needed peace and healing. I will protect them and Valinor,' Vanimórë said. 'when Melkor comes.' 

 

They strolled away. 

 

'Oh, one thing,' Vanimórë stopped as if just remembering something. 'The Silmaril.' 

 

'Well, you need not look for it here,' Mairon said, enjoying the strangled screams of the Valar. 'I have it. Do you think Fëanor wants it back?' 

 

Vanimórë smiled at him. 'What a stunning idea,' he said. 'I like it.' 

JUst adore Mairon's insouciance, his goading of the Valar and their thralls. Wonderfully humorous.
I admit to being confused by what has happened with Eru and Vanimore- I was fine up to this and the last chapter really but I am really busy at work and have not given it the time it needs or deserves- will re-read over the holidays because the philosophy and thought in this is so rich and complex, you do have to attend and read activiely.
Beautiful ending my dear.

Author's Response: I do enjoy Mairon and Vanimórë and their bitchy banter, Ziggy :) Thank you.

Well, I haven't actually explained about Vanimórë and Eru yet, although hopefully when I do it will make some sort of sense, although it's probably quantum and who understands that? :)


Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: November 18, 2017 12:40 · For: Chapter 15 The Salt of Bitter Tears


The gathering had left him feeling tight in his own skin, irritable.


That's such a perfect way of putting it! I love it when I'm reading and the writer uses a phrase or a piece of description that exactly captures something. It gives me happy feels, whatever I'm reading about.

I am very glad to see Nerdanel meeting her extended family, and bonding tentatively with Fanari. I hope she can arrive at acceptance, in the end. Fanari's cat seems to like her, which I'm taking as a good sign!

And Bainalph. I'm glad he's free at last - I'm sure Van and Elgalad will look after him.

A very random question - will we see Coldagnir again? I was always a big fan of his!

Author's Response: Oh, thank you, Narya :) You must have felt like that yourself- I have

I think maybe Nerdanel can come to accept what Fanari believes in, what she is, gradually, and she likes Tindómion- Celebrimbor she would know, at least a bit, but not Tindómion, and I think she would rather have some access to the court than shut herself away.

Yes, I hope Bainalph will be all right, once he finds his feet, and learns to live.

Yes, we shall see Coldagnir again, although I won't say when or how :)

Thank you very much, Narya :)


Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: November 18, 2017 11:58 · For: Chapter 14 The Lost Shores of Memory
Oh, two chapters! I am behind.

Mairon and Van's conversation at the beginning is so interesting, the power balance between them now so obviously different. And fascinating that Mairon seems to want to fight on the side of the Noldor - I suppose he would, after the Valar had the temerity to take Arda from him. I'm not sure that the Noldor will be keen on him joining them, though; I have a feeling Celebrimbor might have something to say.

Seeing so many characters from across your stories assemble for battle is exciting. Nerdanel is an intriguing one; her portrayal is very nuanced. I feel like there is redemption out there for her, once she works out who she is without the Valar's influence.

Van and Elgalad puzzling things out is a lovely, almost peaceful moment after all that tension - but the end of the chapter is a real gut punch :'( unlike some reviewers, I hadn't predicted Bainalph becoming a wraith, but of course it makes sense. How incredibly sad!

Author's Response: I think Mairon wishes the power dynamic wasn't different, because I don't think he will ever accept that his son is more powerful, or at least would never act as if he was. And I can see him allying himself with the Noldor, but for himself, not for them, really. And Celebrimbor, hmm, yes!

Yes, Nerdanel will come into herself properly, I think, once the last vestige of the Valars' miasma has been swept away.

Van and Elgalad needed a 'moment' they'll not get many before the battles, but yes, I know, poor Bainalph, I had thought for a while this had happened to him :( Thank you for reading and commenting, Narya :)


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