Also, I just saw this in your response to ziggy:
Ah, well, Eru dreams, maybe this whole story is a dream and it’l be gone from the internet tomorrow ;)
Don't you dare!!!! ;)
Author's Response: Lol., Actuyally I did dream once that I got up and found all my fic was gone. It was awful!
Phew, working day over, I can give this the love and attention it deserves :) I couldn't resist reading last night though, I'm sorry I didn't leave a decent comment but I was just shattered.
He wrestled with that kin-mind, with that Fëanor, as one would with a beloved brother who has fallen into hysteria and self-inflicted violence. Firm, but gentle, gentle
Oh god, the description of Fëanor in his own mind is wonderful, and I love that you tease out the differences between the two Fëanors.
His breath plumed in the bitter air, sour with more than the dust-and-metal scent of snow; the steam and smokes of Angband’s subterranean workings fed upward through the hollow pinnacles of Thangorodrim and even the wind could not disperse the taint. Fëanáro smelt sewage and liquid metal, poison and acid.
Ugh, this is brilliantly, grimly immersive. And I love the beautiful details of the weaponry and armour, this is fabulous:
Not so now. This was a clean, high rage that set the sword humming, set Fëanáro’s veins alight. As he looked at the Balrog, he knew he was smiling, that his eyes were blazing and, in the back of his mind he thanked Eru that when he and his artisans had conceived body-armour they had vowed not to compromise the wearer’s freedom of movement. Fëanáro had conceived and fashioned Ithilnaur, superbly strong yet with enough flexibility that a blow would contract its countless tiny scales. He had taken Eönwë’s armour as a model for the rest: thin flexible strips banded diagonally atop the mail.
And then this, oh my heart:
I wonder if meeting Fëanáro in this world will change him, set him on his course to redemption sooner?
The man broke the kiss, drew back, smiling. ‘Enough. Dost thou always greet strangers thus?’ Teasingly.
*Snorts* oh, Van.
And just like that you have opened up yet another world for my imagination to play in :D ohh, an AU where he isn't killed, without the kinslayings...but goodness, what else might they get up to, what else might go wrong...what would Fingolfin say if he got to confront his brother...how would Maedhros be different if he was never chained to Thangorodrim...heck, might there even be a chance for Turgon in this setup? So many what ifs!!!!
‘This reality is not the only one that needs thee.’
‘Or thee,’ Vanimórë replied, ‘or Fingolfin, or Galadriel or Maedhros or — it could be any-one, Fëanor, anyone who can change or shape a world.’
So interesting to see Galadriel in there, given what she is in this particular universe - but I suppose, as they keep saying, things may well be different elsewhere.
And I knew Fëanor would not be happy with Fingolfin :( and just when Finarfin has come back into the fold, too. Gutting.
I am so enjoying where you have taken this, Spiced, it's phenomenal. Love love love it.
Author's Response: Thank you so muhc, Narya :) I am setting up for more AU’s, because yes, anything can happen. This is just one possibility; he could go back to anywhere, any-when.
As for Coldagnir, yes, perhaps this will hasten his redemption, Vanimórë said he would still be hidden from Melkor, so a spy in Angband’s ranks, maybe...? I do love what-if’s...?
You are so very kind, thank you again :) And I hope you have a relaxing weekend. Almost time for SiS, too!
Reading in bed on my phone. I will come back and review properly tomorrow when I'm not super tired and can say sensible things, but I just wanted to let you know I loved this - and oh, I want to see more of that AU you tease us with at the start!!
Author's Response: Hope you enjoy, Narya :)
Oh my, Lómion's reunion with Eol is not something that I knew I needed, but I really did! It felt like such a healing moment for him, and something that he never really allowed himslef to think about, but it was so good to see him have a least some resolution to that part of his past.
I loved all of the content with Fëanor and Van, when the two of them are interacting, its always such a fantastic, tension filled dynamic. It makes so much sense that what beauty Melkor had came from Vanimorë in the first place, and even though Van seems disturbed by this, Fëanor does not. I think that its good for them to spend time together, almost healing for Vanimorë in a way. Clearly, Fëanor has no problem accepting him for who he is, and I think Van needs that. Even with all the power in the universe, he has never felt like he was accepted anywhere, and now things have changed so drastically, but I still think he needs to confront that.
I so wanted a continuation of their scene together, but I'm very intrigued to see what kind of realtiy Fëanor got sucked into!
Thank you for writing!!
Author's Response: Aww, thank you, Poppy Marie. I always felt that Lómion must have an unresolved issue, whether he thinks himself Noldo or not, he is not, wholly.
Lol, yes, Fëanor is totally unfazed, and you’re right it is good for Van to be around someone who is not afraid, not overawed, not hateful, and sees him as he is. And is fine with it. I am not sure Van ever will accept himself, or feel he’s accepted, but we’ll see.
Thank you, we’ll see where Fëanor has got to next chapter :)
Feanor Nooooo!!! He needs to come back...his mom still needs him to help her recover. And I almost forgot about Moriel. Will she ever wake up and get to know her father? It's sad that Feanor never knew his daughter.
I admit I don't really care for Eol, but I like how he's not an one dimensional evil being. Him reconnecting with Maeglin is so beautiful...
Author's Response: Vanimórë said to Fëanor that he would never forget who he was in these ‘other’ realities, so yes, he can come back. This will just show him what he can do. Thank you, Kasura, for commenting :)
It is very beautiful that Maeglin feels the pain of the spear as the unfelt grief- and Eol hugs him. I really wanted that to happen. Thank you- it felt deeply cathartic at a very priamry level for some reason I can't articulate. Fills a longing I suppose that we all have to have our parents back and all they represent perhaps?
Elgalad’s unfathomable eyes searched his face. ‘Eru dreams,’ he said.
Vanimórë stopped. ‘What does he dream?’
‘This, perhaps. Thou.’
A gauntlet of iron fear gripped Vanimórë’s throat. He thought of his own ‘awakenings’ in Angband, in Barad-dûr, broken, mad, dying slowly. What if they were not dreams? What if this was? What if my father is right?
ooh- that brought me up short- as it did Vanimore. Where is THIS going?? Eru not gone, dreaming dreams- universes infinite. Not good. QUestions the whole idea of reality but then, that is what this whole fic has been doing.
I LOVE you for restoring Aragorn:)Does that mean Gimli and the Hobbits too? I really want a Fellowship reunion please. Pllleeeaaassseeee. I won't be the only one.
Ok- the last scene is really challenging me I have to admit. So Morgoth has a bit of Vanimore in him? AndVan pushes Feanor through the portal- so does he fall into another world? That is unfortunate -what will happen now???! Is Feanor gone? Can he just slip back or is he lost?
Author's Response: I have always been deeply sorry that Maeglin/Lómion was parted from his father in such a way, and felt he couldn’t ever show how muhc it grieved him.
Ah, well, Eru dreams, maybe this whole story is a dream and it’l be gone from the internet tomorrow ;)
Eventually, I’m sure Gimli and the Hobbits will come, but I just can’t write them, I have no interest I’m afraid, although I will probably mention it when it happens.
During Van’s fight with Eru at the beginning, Melkor was formed, and yes, a little bit of Van went into Melkor, his rage and hate, probably, or a bit of it.
Van told Fëanor he could basically change these other realities if he wanted too, and so he’ll change *something*, yes, but he can always return, or Van might fish him out lol, (this first time) and show him how to come back. (It just gives me more story-threads, really) ;) Thank you, Ziggy :)
Lómion could feel his father, a finger upon his heart.
Oof. I *felt* that!
Beleg had offered to come with him, having known Eöl long ago, but Lómion refused.
‘It is something I must do alone.’ And Beleg nodded, understanding as he ever did.
Oh, I adore your Beleg. He is so kind, so centred - he just *gets* people and understands where they're hurting. And of course he's an utterly magnificent being anyway ;)
I do enjoy seeing Van and Elgalad interacting as equals - and Van's disdain for Eru made me chuckle. And still the fear and vulnerability:
A gauntlet of iron fear gripped Vanimórë’s throat. He thought of his own ‘awakenings’ in Angband, in Barad-dûr, broken, mad, dying slowly. What if they were not dreams? What if this was? What if my father is right?
Fëanor, there are endless possibilities, endless realities; I cannot, and will not, lock them into one. That is stagnation, entropy.
Ahh, like we were talking about when we were discussing Summerland. Poor Fëanor, though - and Miriel's fate is heartbreaking.
In the garden was what looked at first like an immense sheet of black glass. Then one saw the ripples that moved outward from the centre, the sparks of electricity that flashed and flickered across it. Its edges frayed into nothingness. It smelt of salt and and ice and metal. Around it stretched quiet green lawns and, far above, soared the impossible heights of Eru’s palace.
‘The Portal,’ Vanimórë said. ‘Every world, every possible reality. But let us concentrate on Arda.’
OOOOOOOHHHHH!!! Oh, my mind has just gone wild with the possibilities...
Fascinating exchange between Van and Fëanor - gorgeous, shifting dynamics between them, and this:
The part of Melkor that was beautiful and charismatic, that was clever, came from thee.’
That makes so much sense!!!! How long have you been planning that one? :D
*picks self up off floor*
Oh, hells, my heart stopped at the end, though. I was enjoying their play-fighting, settling down for them to resolve their distances as those two best know how ;) but then:
Vanimórë, shaken, laughed his astonishment, flinging Fëanor back with an unfair burst of power. Fëanor, startled, was still returning the laughter when Vanimórë’s stopped utterly, caught in a chokehold of shock. His power had thrown Fëanor directly at the Portal, which Fëanor must have realised as great wings exploded like diamond flames to brake him—
— a heartbeat too late.
Just...gawping at the screen o_O you are the queen of cliffhangers, but that's mean even for you! Fëanor!!! Van will never forgive himself if he can't sort this one out.
I can't wait to see how this develops - fascinating, beautiful stuff.
Author's Response: Poor Lómion, but I think he did love his father, and had to resolve this long, long separation and awful death.
Beleg is lovely, I think, and I wonder if it comes of the grief of loving a doomed Man? I also think there is something else, something he’s hiding...
I think Van can easily disdain Eru; he;s not much for not getting involved, although that could turn out badly, and he might come to realise that...
The part about Van/Melkor — really when I wrote his battle with Eru, although only that something of Van might have gone into Melkor. Van can be pretty merciless and cruel, but it seems it’s balanced by compassion which, with his upbringing, seems strange. Although Vanya had a lot to do with that too, as he had someone to love. But Sauron must have been thinking about that while up on Taniquetil, and came to the conclusion sooner than anyone.
Yes, the Portal, well, I had to add some more story possibilities for when this one ends ;) And they are infinite, lol.
Don’t worry too much about Fëanor. He wants to change the realities he would hatre, well, he may get to, although this would be hopefully quite a brief interlude, just to show him it can be done.
Thank you so much :) I’m so glad you liked it.
I'm sorry I'm so late! Ridiculous few days at work, have only just had chance to sit down and read - and I completely confused myself because somehow I missed the last chapter, so I had to go back and work out how we'd got to the starting point here.
I hope Vanya can help Galadriel - especially now that Finarfin is back in the fold ;) I just adored this moment:
Fëanor caught him then, into an embrace so strong, so forgiving that Finarfin felt as if the sun encircled him, pouring through skin and bone, healing and intoxicating. It was followed by a kiss that (he knew) claimed him, because Fëanor claimed, if he wanted enough, and now, now, Finarfin knew fully, finally, what that meant and why Fingolfin had never been able to look aside, why he had hammered his betrayal in Araman into pure, steely resolve and lead his host across the Helcaraxë. Following his half-brother. Knew why the seven sons had sworn the Oath with him, knew why, when Fëanor’s fire touched the heart, it bound forever.
Beyond beautiful - I sobbed. How long have you been wanting to write that?! :')
Interesting dynamic between Fingolfin and Anairë - not quite antagonistic, but so fraught with past misery. I wonder if she will come around eventually, and let him be with his brothers?
The ending, with Fëanor going for Miriel, was achingly sad - so bleak, and I could feel the cold and taste the dust.
Epic, lush, beautiful, emotional, complex, layered - everything I love about your fics in one gorgeous chapter.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Narya — yes, this chapter would be confusing without the prior one!
I am not sure when Fëanor decided to ‘claim’ Finarfin, but back in Magnificat III, somewhere, but this was one of those ‘comes out of nowhere’ bits, as I didn’t know ‘how’ it would happen.
I am sure Vanya will talk to Galadriel, and she’s fine, as not much could harm her. And she has time, after all.
I am not sure about Finglofin and Anairë — he’s fundementally decent, so wants to give her her son back, but she’s not sure what she wants, apart from that, and how could she after thousands of years of imprisonment and brainwashing. And he’s not offering himself, just a time to help bring up Turgon. Fëanor will hit the roof of course. Schisms coming up!
Yes, poor Miriel, just an awful, pointless and cruel fate, I had these visions of her just left abandoned in endless, cold, dusty halls, hardly remembering why she was there.
What an awesome chapter. Sauron's entry doesn't disappoint :) It's worth waiting for. His life is so tangled with Feanorions & Finwians. It's so wicked to flash the rings before Celebrimbor & that air kiss...omg so Sauron.
Feanor again is magnificent! :)
I am heartbroken about Miriel. Namo is extremely cruel to punish a woman suffering from mental illness to break her further. Hope Feanor can cure her & bring her mental faculty back fully...
PS I do like how Galadriel is forced to vanish from Valinor :D...I never really care for her despite all the praises and raves she got in the books.
Author's Response: Sauron has style whatever one may think of him ;)
Poor Miriel, I could never understand why she was set to do what she did after her death it seems impossibly cruel, but at least she is out now, and her healing can begin.
As for Galadriel, from when I first read LOTR back in the 80’s and then the SIlm, I just could not understand the reverence accorded to her. She didn’t do much, and all of it defensive, but when I came into the online fandom she was treated paractically like a Virgin Mary character, and it made me roll my eyes. I wish, rather than her, Tolkien would have written one of Finarfin’s sons as surviving, not because they are men, but because they were far more magnificent, and actually did battle against Morgoth and Sauron, rather than hide away in Doriath, leave Ost-in-Edhil in a dudgeon and end up lurking in Lothlórien. It’s not exactly glorious, is it? Thank you so much for your comments :)
Your ability to write in a way that paints vivid imagery has always been amazing, but this story in particular has really been full of such fantastical, breathtaking moments. When Fëanor reunited with the Silmarlis, it was such a long awaited moment, and you executed it beautifully! I got chills!
I would have loved to see what would have gone down between Celebrimbor and Mairon had they not been interrupted, but clearly Mairon will not be going anywhere, so I'm looking forward to what comes next for him.
Miriel's fate was so terrible, I do hope that Fëanor will be abel to help her. I thought that their reunion might be coming up soon, but I didn't expect this.
I am also trying to think if there is anyway this situation with Fingolfin and Anairë will end well, I could almost feel the tension and anxiety from Fingolfin at the thought of having to step back into a role where he feel trapped once again. Also, if I had to hazard a guess, I don't think their plan will go over terribly well with Fëanor.
So excited to see what comes next, thank you for putting so much time and work into this story!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Poppy are, I am so glad you liked it.
In fact there was so much going on in this chapter, that I didn’t feel I could compress Mairon and Celebrimbor into it, and maybe Celebrimbor wants to prolong the ‘revenge’ he has in mind ;) And poor Miriel, yes, it was time for her to be rescued, although her healing will be slow, I think. Yes, this isn’t a good situation for Fingolfin, but Fëanor would do the same, and regardless he is going to hit the roof!
Thought I should review here as well since I have read it again:)
In a fury of light and fire they passed through the doors. Vanimórë looked around, saw Olórin and his father facing one another, Mairon changed into the form of a giant Fell-wolf, his preferred shape for battle. Striding between them, he caught the great scruff in one hand, the neck of Olórin’s robe in the other. ‘And the both of thee, get in there.’
Wonderful image! Made me laugh as well.
Another spectacular, epic chapter that defies the genre and takes it completely elsewhere. Fab writing. Densely packed images, each one a delight.
The last scene is beautiful:
There was no time here, so he could not tell how long it was until he found her, discarded like a bundle of old rags left in a corner, curled in upon herself. All he could see was the gleam of silvery hair that fell and spread like spiderwebs about her.
Going down on one knee, he reached out a hand, touched her. A frail, thread of sound reached his ears. She was humming. With a wince, he recognised the Noldolantë.
‘Miriel,’ he said gently and, with difficulty, ‘Mother?’
Her head rose, so very slowly, as if she had forgotten how to move. Her face was wasted, drawn taught over the immutable, beautiful bones. Her eyes were black as night as if they had stared into too many horrors and absorbed them all. Her wrist, when he caught it, was thin as a starved child’s.
‘Colour of garnets, their blood,
Gorged by the earth like wine,
All life leaving, and leaving us beseeching,
‘Miriel, he repeated.
Very moving. Sublime images.
Author's Response: Aww, thank you for posting this here as well as AO3 :) I am so glad you liked it.
Sorry I have been an invisible avid reader of your amazing series, should commented sooner instead of sitting on the sideline...but I just want to shout out that this chapter is Awesome.
I love how Feanor and all became gods and overthrown the oppressors - so waiting for this. And Finarfin gets his fire back. It's perfect Manwe and his cohorts now stuck in seeing elves living the life they want (orgies) :) a good justice.
And looking forward to Sauron's confrontation with Feanorians. He has been messing with their lives...and now it's time for his reckoning
Author's Response: Aww, thank you very much, Kasura, it is so nice to know you’ve been reading and enjoying. I loved writing this, as it’s been many yers in the making, and finally, the Elves are where they should be.
But Sauron, yes, he has a lot to answer for!
Oh it was so sweet to finally see the Valar torn down! It has been so long in coming and it was such a feeling of triumph for the Elves, they have suffered so much because of them and I think that Fëanor's judement for them was perfect; now they have to watch those the caused pain live free with no one to hold them back, I love it!
This explained so much about why Finarfin acted how he did, I feel for him now much more than I did before. He was pulled back into the Valar's grip out of fear for his family, and they still made him suffer even after obeying them. I really can't wait to see what he will evolve into now that we can be himself, he impressed me in this chapter and I'm excited to see more of him!
I also cannot wait to see what is going to go down in the next chapter, there are so many complex layers between Sauron and many of the Fëanorians, he finally has to answer for all the pain he has put them through. I really want to see how his next encounter with Celebrimbor goes, and Fëanor, or any of them really, he finally has to face them on a level playing field, and I can't wait to see how it all plays out! The way he made is entrance was very in character for him, a bit of a flair for the dramatic, though he propbably also enjoyed watching the Valar thrown down.
I loved this chapter! Thank you for making this story so incredible!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Poppy Marie, it felt so good to write this, although the Elves are not finsihed with those Valar, just there are more important things to be done first.
I ended up feeling very sorry for Finarfin, but now he’s free.
Ah yes, Sauron and Celebrimbor...that has been coming for a long, long time!
I so loved Gil-Galad and Tindómion’s moment here! They can finally be themselves with nothing to hide, and it was so beautifully written!
The march on Taniquetil was so fantastic! Finally they get to tear down the Valar once and for all! You way with words conjured such epic images, the scene with the Fos Almir in particular was breathtaking. It seems right, fitting for the elves now, I was not expecting that but we’ll done! Fëanor’s power to free the maiar, and Coldagnir’s return were such great moments!
I am so excited to see the next part of this fight! Amazing work! Thank you!
Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much, Poppy Marie, I am so glad that you liked it as much as I enjoyed writing it all!
There’ll be plenty to write when this is over I hope
Oh, I hope so too! I just know that this is a key point in the story that you've been building towards for a long time. It's exciting to see it finally play out - it must feel amazing for you as a writer, to have got your characters to this point. I am in awe!
I love this description of Gil and Tindomion's relationship:
There should be another word, he thought, than simply love; what he felt matched none of the descriptions of it. He did not feel protective or tender toward Tindómion, who would not have wanted such emotions and had always been able to protect himself. Neither did he feel as if Tindómion were his other half. It was more as if he and Tindómion wanted each to be the other, and hungered for that part of them they saw reflected. It was a furious need, a radiant white-burning lust underlined with deep respect. Gil-galad could not have loved anyone that did not match him and meet him, fire-to-fire. And Tindómion had been the first he had met as a man, bringing with him memories of Maedhros and Maglor and Caranthir, and days filled with light and love and hope.
They have always been one of my favourite pairings in your work (although of course it's so hard to choose!).
Reading of the rebirth of the Elves through Fos Almir gave me goosebumps - especially Galadriel's war cry. And then this:
A red meteor split the sky with a double boom of tortured air, slammed into Eonwë. The resultant fireball tore across the sky.
Vanimórë watched, smiling. Beside him, Elgalad suddenly laughed out.
I was laughing with Elgalad when I realised who it was!
Fabulous to read this wonderful saga coming to its climax :) congratulations on making it to this point; I can't wait for the final battle!
Author's Response: Aww, thank you, Narya, I am so glad you liked that description, love is too uncomplicated a word for them, although as I remember there are a lot of words in Quenet but none of them really fitted either.
I’m also glad you liked Coldagnir’s return :)
There’ll be plenty to write when this is over I hope.
I’m so sorry I’m this late reviewing, it kept getting pushed back on my to do list.
This chapter was really interesting, I’m glad to see that Van and Elgalad’s relationship is mending ever so slightly. I hope to see more of the “real” Elgalad, because I always loved him as a character, and now I feel like he has gained some more fire and passion, which a new interest to him.
I really don’t know what to feel about Finwë, he had clearly has some feelings towards his brother that have not been addressed in far to long, and there is a lot of pain there. But I feel like his is being hypocritical and angry for no reason, yes he has been through pain, but so has Edenel; he needs someone to tell him to get his head out of his ass, he is only making things more painful for everyone...
thank you so much for writing, keep up the amazing work!!!
Author's Response: No probs, Poppy Marie, thank you for commenting, and I agree with you about Finwë, he’s almost cornered himself in a morass of hate and love and confusion :( I’m sure we’ll see more of the new Elgalad in the future. Thank you again, and have a lovely Sunday :)
I am late reviewing, I'm so sorry :(
I am so happy there is a scene with Finwë and Edenel in here! :D I've been desperate to see it, even with everything that has happened.
He was so little changed from the man Edenel had woken beside, had loved and lost under those brilliant, ancient stars, that a fist clenched itself in his heart.
That's heartbreaking :( and of course he is right, they can't go back.
‘Thou. Thou wert everything our people revered: Courageous, proud, passionate, intelligent, always the first in the hunt, the first to confront the shadows. I...I wanted only to be at peace, to watch the miracle of my mate rounding with our child. I wanted to be out from under thy shadow. From under thee.!’
It hurt. Still, after so long. He had not imagined or suspected how much it would hurt to hear it, although he knew. Yes, he knew, had seen it, the first innocent love fading into jealousy and dislike.
‘I know,’ he said calmly. ‘And so I removed myself.’
Oh! Oh goodness...that is how I see Finwë too, just wanting peace, and Élernil, so like Fëanor and Fingolfin, being the bold one, the leader. He is a wonderful character; I now can't imagine any kind of backstory for Finwë that doesn't involve him.
Author's Response: I am so very happy you like Edenel, and see him as part of Finwë’s life, well, his past anyway, Narya :) That is such a compliment!
Oh Finwe- how you have fallen. This is a wonderfully complex and charged encounter, the guilt of the survivor but strangely, the guilt of the 'victim' although Edenel is so not a victim now- but he was.
He remembered, in the star-shot dark behind his eyes, as Finwë took him, how Morgoth had raped him, many times, wearing Finwë’s face and mocking, laughing like black thunder, corrosive and dreadful. But his mind-link with his brother had been destroyed so long ago that Finwë could not see the memory and Edenel would never speak of it; it was not something the Ithiledhil had ever done, even among themselves.
I found this bit, the thought of Morgoth's rape of him in Finwe's guise really sad. That Edenel has lost Finwe but loves him enough to free him and to allow him the freedom, walking away and becoming Morgoth's slave instead, is just tragic.
Wonderfully told as always.
Author's Response: Thank you, Ziggy :) Finwë is massively confused, guilt, grief, anger, and uncertainty, but he’s never been a man of strong convictions, I think, and he’s right that his sons don’t really resemble him at all. Edenel didn’t nothing wrong, but has chosen to believe that Finwë may be right, or *thinks* he may be right.
Wow, this was amazing, i have loved every chapter so far and i am in awe of what you manage to bring forth within your characters. They are so wonderfully complex and multi faceted and yet human, one can relate to their feelings and thoughts. I really liked the way you have portrayed Thingol, i have always felt that he was being subdued by his wife in some manner, that she used her powers to get what she wanted, a trophy husband, and i can really believe that she used him on behalf of the valar. I sort of feel sorry for him poor elf. The fact that Turgon finally snapped and tried to murder his own dad was a nice touch, surprising and yet not, I have never liked that character, not in canon and not in fannon, he has always had a sort of...stain, or coldness rather i dont like and in your universe it does really come out clearly. He was indeed very twisted. I really enjoyed the scene with Vanimore and Egalmoth, it would be so cool if Vanimore has to intervene again and show everybody what these oh so pious elves really are thinking, it would probably shock most, The people who are the most homophobic are usually the ones who are most likely to be closet gay without daring to come out. like they say, you end up hating the things you desire when you cannot have them. i think Turgon may be a sort of psychopath, he does have some of the characteristics, i cannot wait for the next chapter. This is so exciting and so epic, you do really have a talent for using both the language and the story to create a mood. Oh and i think the small detail with the meteor is a grand one, i have read a lot about that impact and the fact that some believe that it was what wiped out the iceage mega fauna, and possibly the clovis people. I think i will start to reread some of your stuff, just so i wont start feeling withdrawals he he, for this is addictive.
Author's Response: Wow, you’ve been reading fast, Nuredhel :) And thank you so much for your kind comments. I’m so glad you’ve been enjoying the story. 11 years now since I began Dark Prince, and coming only now to a part I have always wanted to write :) I’m so pleased you’ve liked some of the characters, too.
I’ve been interested in the meteor/comet impact, too, ever since I read about it many years ago, and lately I keep seeing more articles on it. It fitted very well into the story, I think :) Thank you again!
I love how Finglofin has been letting his passion show in the last couple chapters, although he has been through a lot, and I feel bad that he has so many doubts about himself as a father :( I hope he can listen to Feanor and not let it eat at him too much.
THE SEconed half of this chapter has been a long time coming! I feel like Maglor and Van haven't had a moment in a long time, and the payoff was amazing! The two of them clashing has always been poerful, but now its a whole other level of passion. The idea that the Feanorians are "walking into godhood", it seems fitting for them. Such a Feanorian kind of thing to do as well, Maglor saying that we must become gods so that Van can be among them.
Maglor playing music with the cosmos was such a gorgeous image it almost made me teary, I can't believe the hights to which you've taken this story, it just keeps expanding into something greater and greater. Bravo! Such an amazing chapter! Thank you!
Author's Response: I have so loved writing Fingolfin unleashing his true self :) Although Turgon is going to eat at him, I’m afraid, as he’s a decent man and tried hard to be a good father.
Vanimórë and Maglor - well, these two, such a bond, and yet it’s such an explosive and uneasy one, even now. I loved writing this, too. Thank you so much, Poppy :) I’m so glad you enjoyed this
Maedhros came to his side, raised a brow.
‘It can happen,’ he said in a low voice. ‘Mind-suicide we called it, when the mind wills death. I saw it in Angband. If the pain is too great...it is rare, but it can happen. I saw a tortured thrall will himself to die.’
Fëanor bent his head against his son’s. ‘But not thou.’
‘There were times,’ Maedhros murmured. ‘that I wanted to, times that I begged myself to die, times I begged them to kill me. They would not, of course. And how could I?’
‘Thou hast Eldenel’s blood in thee.’ Fëanor held him, feeling the warmth, the long, taunt muscles of his back under his hands, the spice-musk of his perfumed hair.
‘And thine, my father. And thine.’
Oh, my heart. I don't know where to begin - Maedhros's torment, or Edenel's, or his devotion to his father, or Fëanor's unswerving, fierce love for him. And then, this:
‘I would have fought beside thy sons in Doriath had I lived, at the Havens of Sirion.’
I'm going to cry. It's so cathartic to see Fingolfin finally giving in to the truth and depths of his feelings for his brother. I know you said Things are going to happen, though, and I am scared for them.
The Van/Maglor scene was wonderful, this line nearly had me punching the air:
Maglor pushed him back against the wall. ‘Thou art my family, thou fool. And twice over.’
So many thousands of years of buried feelings coming to a head here!
And I also loved Maglor going right into the essence of what Van is, seeing it, working with it. This line made the hairs on my arms stand up:
‘Thou didst play the cosmos, Singer of the Song.’
Just beautiful. A sad chapter in some ways, but cathartic and gorgeous.
Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much, Narya. I know: beautiful Maedhros and what he must have suffered :( Yet his loyalty to his brother’s and the Oath and his own lionhearted courage would not allow him to die.
I loved writing Fingolfin in this and the last chapter really unleashing his authentic self, but yes, thing ‘will happen’. I’m not horrible enough to kill anyone here, don’t worry!
I am so glad you liked Maglor ‘playing the cosmos’. So much between these two, and always complicated.
Thank you for your comment :)
As always, your erotic scenes are always the very best- with their gorgeous imagery and passion. These beautiful men with their intensity and courage just make me swoon!!! Oh and the IMMENSITY of Vanimore, hat description of what Maglor finds is extraordinary. SUperb.
BTW- which chapter/fic deals with Elgalad's death and rebirth- where can I read about him NOT being Vanimore's beloved anymore- I had forgotten although he certainly has taken a step back in this fic.
Author's Response: Thank you, Ziggy :)
Well, I suppose Vanimórë does love Elgalad, but ‘Elgalad’ is not Elgalad, as such, so their relationship is complicated at the moment, a bit up in the air!
Nevertheless, none of them in this story are really monogamous, even those who are ‘couples’, like Beleg and Túrin. I suppose Maedhros and Fingon are the most ‘couply’ which is why I don't write about them because without tension and conflict, there’s nothing to write about but fluff which just makes me fall asleep, writing or reading. So no-one is really going to end up with someone permanently with wedding vows. Of course Elgalad is important to Vanimórë and moreover understands as he knew Eru. So they’re often together.
Elgalad ‘died’ or didn’t, at the end of Dark God. Vanimórë thought he had killed him, and so for a long time he was steeped in guilt, and then, in ‘Abyss’ in this story, he saw Elgalad’s soul, and thought he would be destroyed forever by Ungoliant, but in that chapter, we see Elgalad as he truly is.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Finally! Oh I loved FIngolfin being the one to just thow it out there, like "what are you going to do about it?' LOVED IT.
The dialouge here was sadly similar to a lot of what I hear and see in the world today, I was reminded of conversations I've had in my life with people who just refuse to let things go, to let other live as they want. They take things that have nothing to do with them and somehow twist them into a personal offense. Its utterly insane.
I truly thought that Fingolfin was going to kill Turgon, but I am glad he didn't now that I've thought about it, it would have left him in a bad palce im sure.
I am awed by Van's power, and that moment with the door to nothing was quite terrifying. I do hope we will see some more of him and Elgalad interacting with the others again, I think Maglor needs to have a long talk with Vanimorë, he needs to have that right now I think.
Thank you so much for writing!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Poppy Marie :) I am so glad you liked this. Unfortunately, Fingolfin *et al* have had to deal with the same issues we deal with now, but luckily for them, they can reject it for the gross idiocy it is. He just have been waiting to say that for an incredibly long time! Yes, Vanimórë and Maglor are going to have a conversation of some sort!
I was so pleased to see this that I did a happy dance on the sofa!!
And Fëanor was inside himself again, feeling the drag of gravity, the solidity of Earth, of the weight of his flesh. He pushed the Flame Imperishable into his body. Torn cells, vessels, sprang back together, knitting into wholeness. He tried to breath, could not. His throat had spasmed shut against upwelling blood.
‘Father!’ Maglor cried like death, like horror (another horror) he could not bear.
With a sound like tearing silk, he wrenched air into his lungs and screamed. He was healing, but as a god heals, so swiftly that the act itself was an assault upon the body. Starfire surged through every vein, lit the dim gardens.
Wow - just gorgeous imagery, so powerful. Maglor's horror and grief made me cry. And Fingolfin was all set to kill Turgon...I am not surprised, but it is so sad that it has come to this.
Gods, Fëanor thought, I do not have the time or patience for all these locked-up people.
That made me laugh, though. Not many people would dare to get snippy about Van like that!
Elgalad’s silver beauty and power was stupendous, his eyes glowed with unearthly light. He inclined his head as he came to the foot of the dais and Fëanor gave him a look which once, he would have feigned to blush at, the dissembler. Now, he met it, smiling faintly as he bowed.
Beautiful. The shift in the power balance between them and the subtle changes in how they interact is delightful.
Stupid question - does Elgalad know what he is, even as a child? If not, at what point does he realise? Sorry if you've explained this somewhere, I may need to go and do a re-read!
‘Because Fëanor and I were lovers.’ Fingolfin pronounced each word hard and chiselled and clear, and Fëanor’s heart leapt, burning and jubilant in his breast. ‘Half-brothers and lovers.’
YES!!! Finally! Oh, that must have been so satisfying to write him owning the relationship in front of all their people, after all these years of them dancing around one another and hiding it from everyone except their close family. My heart did a leap as I read it. And I love Fëanor's love and admiration for him, too.
When thou hast walked in starfire, stood on the brink of black holes, bathed in the birth of suns, and walked through their long deaths, seen the immensity and beauty of the cosmos
*shivers* and there you go again, reminding me how huge the universe is. Stunning images.
Vanimórë sketched a bow. ‘My Lords,’ he said with deep respect, and walked out of the hall. Fëanor saw Maglor, his face set, stride after him.
Ooh, I wonder how that conversation will play out?
Ahh, so Turgon is dead. Well...serves him right, I guess, but what happened? (I know, I'll have to wait until next time.)
Author's Response: was so glad to write this but I also felt a bit guilty, because ‘things’ are going to happen. O_O I think Fingolfin would have killed Turgon, but that would have left a weight on him. What happened, we’ll see in the next chapter.
It was wonderful to write Fingolfin owning his relationship with Fëanor, there comes a point when something snaps and this was it for him.
Elgalad — it was difficult because he was not supposed to remember, but when in Dol Guldur in Dark prince, he did and he went to the Timeless Halls, and after that he almost forced himself to forget — most of the time. I did write it somewhere, although I’m blowed if I know where, latter chapters of Magnificat III or in this story, I think?
As for Maglor and Vanimórë— and Turgon, I am writing it now :) Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, Narya :) Hope today was a better day for you.