I just had to read this again- because the first reading is always wide-eyed and stunned with the grandeur of your vision, and now I understand a bit better. I think you planted the seed of Eru-Elgalad well so although it was a shock it was the sort of shock that says- Ah, of course!
SOme really exceptional story-telling here and the images are just overwhelming- but oh, I do love Sauron's grumpy rescue of Vanimore and his reaction!
Incredible and momentous writing, Spiced. Congratulations.
I sort of knew about Eru-Elgalad a few years ago, after thinking from the beginning there was something about Elgalad that I just was not seeing. But it all fell into place eventually.
Thank you, Ziggy. As for ‘Sauron’s grumpy rescue of Vanimórë— Yes, borke up the angst a bit ;) and it’s so him (in this ‘verse) and so him and Vanimórë, particularly!
I can't believe this magnificent epic is ending. What an incredible ride. Thanks for all the hard work to get here! Finwe finally wake up from his trance and does something. Feanor is spectacular as usual. ...
The ending is grand. I so love the ending lines.
"It was not blood that followed the dagger’s passage; it was...possibility.
Ah, Eru, all universes are birthed in violence.
His eyes closed.
And he began to dream.... "
Speaks of other openings. And possible lose ties like Sauron and Celebrimbor - will eventually be told in other stories ^^
(I have started reading your Edenel series) am hoping there are more Sauron/Celebrimbor stories :D
Thank you, Kasura! Yes, finished at last but the stories go on. I recently posted ‘In My End is My Beginning’ which is a one-shot of Vanimórë post Dagorath.
Verhalen on AO3 is writing Van and Coldagnir into his Chains of Eternity series
And has plans for when Vanimórë returns into other worlds, completely devastated by betrayal.
I have to finished ‘Genesis’ before I think of what else I might do :)
Yes, always other possibilities, other universes, and a lot more ‘what if’s?’
Thank you :)
First of all, I am sorry it has taken me so long to read and review, I knew that the end was approaching and I didn’t think I was mentally and emotionally ready for that. After reading I don’t know that I would ever have been ready, but it was so worth it.
I want to say congratulations on seeing this seeing this story through to the end, although I wish it were not the end, it has been amazing. I remember the first time I came across your work, and I fell deeply in love with the vibrant characters and intricate plot that you created. I think that I first discovered your works about five years ago, and they have been an amazing part of my life since then, I have loved every second of reading them and I am happy to know that you still intend to write more within the verse you created.
I was and still am a little speechless at this conclusion, I am stunned and not quite sure what to feel. I think that I am still in shock but I want to say well done, because not many stories have done that for me.
I am emotionally distressed and confused and full of so much emotion, I’m still not entirely sure how I feel. I am still wrapping my mind around Elgalad/Eru, and everything that does to Vanimórë, I always loved the two of them together in your stories, and I enjoyed what I thought was a new Elgalad after he came back. You have this amazing ability to blindside readers with revelations that make them question everything they thought they knew, and still make sense within the story. I now have to wonder if “Elgalad’s” love for Van was ever real, or if “Elgalad” was ever real in some way, shape, or form. I cannot imagine what Van must think, but only that some part of him must love Elgalad because he refuses to kill him. I really don’t know what to think anymore, but I hurt for Vanimórë.
I don’t know if you meant this as the end for Van, though part of me hopes not, but if it is then it was truly heartbreaking. I do hope that someday you will give us a peak into whatever new world that Van has created for the Fëanorians and all of the god-elves, as well as the first orc/elves that he saved. I don’t know if you have any designs for this world in the future, but whatever they may be I will be there to read about them.
I have so much more to say but I don’t really know how to put it into words, but I do want to say, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you for putting so much time and effort into writing, and thank you for sharing this masterpiece, not many stories have affected me emotionally the way these have.
Oh thank you so much, Poppy Marie, and thank you for sticking with this story :) Your kind words mean the world to me. Yes, in some way Vanimórë does still love Elgalad, even if that love was a mirage, not real. Or maybe it was — I leave it up to the reader to decide.
It’s not the end for Van — he cannot end or die, although perhaps he wishes he could. There will be a new universe — but as someone remarked on AO3, no-one will know him there; he will be the only one who remembers — unless maybe Fëanor awakens to it.
It’s been difficult to reach the end of this for me, too, but I am so grateful to the readers who continued to support me through it. Thank you so very much!
Omg I can't believe the series has come to an end! I've enjoyed following vanimore so much these past years! Your story has always been so excellent, well written and has such depth. Your verse feels more real than Tolkien writing to me now.
I was not expecting elgalad to really be eru! What a twist.
Can't wait for your next story I'm sure it will be just as brilliant and addictive
Thank you very much, Caunedhiel, what a compliment! It;s not really the end though, but a beginning.
Many thanks for your support!
Oh. My. Goodness.
So I can't write everything now, but only as I read (breathlessly) certain things that I HAVE to comment upon:
‘But it was always Fëanor he wanted. And Fingolfin who dared to wound him. And when he has them...Do you know, Maedhros was actually fortunate? Now, if Melkor captures them he will mutilate them like the Quendi. Tongueless, eyeless, limbless, chained to a horrific existence. Only you can prevent it. What happened to your courage, my son, or are you truly a weak-willed, puling coward, hiding in the dark? A pity, I thought better of you. And so did they.’ He continued his litany of lies (wherever Melkor was he was not here and if he was no longer had the power to harm the Elves) because, in this state, Vanimórë did not know lies from truth. Something had to penetrate that fog and draw him out. ‘Or shall I take you back there, seal the door shut forever, and leave you to rot out a million years, you useless piece of shit?’
A wave of heat struck his back; a waft of sandalwood and incense blew through the air, banishing the dungeon-stink. His hand no longer gripped thin, brittle hair, but was buried to the wrist in silk.
‘Alright, alright, alright, father,’ Vanimórë said irritably. ‘Thou canst stop pulling me around now.’
I really did barely breathe reading that whole section, and then this little bit of humour was SUCH a relief! That hideous nightmare reminded me of the pity of his extinction when Elgalad died (can't remember which book it was now but when all that was left was the bit of spine- I will never forget that image. It reminded me of that. The viciousness wreaked upin Vanimore is so extreme.
I absolutely love the fact that he transforms the orcs and ghouls and shows such terrible and eep compassion- that he takes all their suffering and remakes them (if I have got that right). That is a beautiful act.
Oh. Just finished this and cannot write anything for a bit I'm afraid- shocked and jolted and ...speechless.
Thank you so, so much, Ziggy :)
Yes, that bit of irritable Van just begged to go in there!
Van had to do that ‘redemption’ act when Sauron was there, as he knew Sauron would be needed - to bring him back.
Well, a few people have said they were speechless, and I’m speechless lol, that I could write anything that made anyone speechless (in a good way).
Well, as a constant reader (though not as constant a reviewer, alas), dear Spiced, I can say that even though I really didn't see much of these final chapters coming, I now feel that I *should* have (were I as brilliant a reader as you are a writer) because the ending does lie in the beginning, and there were no "lies" in what you told us in all these many chapters, just false impressions that we may have formed for ourselves. For instance, I always viewed Elgalad as a "touchstone" for what I should believe about the story's "truth" and I was right, but not in the way that I believed. Love *can* be blind, and I loved Elgalad and *so* much else in this story. Thank you for all the hours and hours of pleasure I've gotten from your hard work since 2006!
Thank you very much, ebbingnight :) I am *so* pleased to get a review from you, because I was worried if anything had happened to you over the last year! I hope all is well.
Well, Vanimórë loved Elgalad too, I suppose it is left to the reader to wonder if he was ever really ‘real’ — as it was, Vanimórë could not battle Eru because of Elgalad-within-Eru, so there must be *something* there.
Again, thank you very much. I’m so pleased (and amazed) some people have been reading me so long!
Oh my goodness :'( :'( Spiced, that was wonderful! I will come back with proper detailed comments when I have my laptop again, but I feel like my emotions have been up and down a grater - and now I see why you were being cagey about Elgalad! I should have seen that coming, it was perfect and heartbreaking (did Coldagnir know!?) And Fëanor :'( :'( but I suppose that was always coming too, with what he is. And now Vanimórë can create the world again...
Huge, huge congratulations on everything you have achieved with this epic series. It was one of the first fics I came across when I started in fandom - lurking at first, and gradually realising it was ok to comment and post, and that people wouldn't bite! I've re-read it several times over the years and will probably go through and read it all again now that it's complete, but I can't tell you how much this has influenced the way I view canon and much of my own, still-fledgling 'verse - even when I'm not borrowing your wonderful characters ;)
I can't wait to see what you do next. I bet you feel exhausted right now, but I doubt the muses will be quiet for long!
Thank you so much, Narya, I’m so glad this finale was not a damp squib.
yes, lol I had to be cagey about Elgalad.
I think Coldagnir did know, and Fëanor, but either Eru didn’t allow them to say anything — difficult to imagine even he could stop Fëanor’s mouth — or they simply would not, because it would well ...affect Vanimórë in exactly that way. And Sauron, I think he knew too, or guessed.
But it had to finish that way; the end is the beginning. And, in the end, as Vanimórë said, all Universe’s begin with violence. He could have ‘killed’ Eru, but would not.
I’m just privileged myself to have influenced an amazing writer :) And you certainly are. That really gives me a sense of accomplishment. And yes, I’m feeling really drained, but I’ve never *not* written and am already thinking about what to write next!
Thank you again :)
The Dagor Dagorath battle scenes are magnificent! The elves, even the women, got their chance to shine in fighting Morgoth's army, truly grand! The most joyous part for me to read is Celebrimbor and Mairon's flirting XD. these 2...I don't know what's your plan for them but so looking forward to how Mairon can slither his way out of the mess he created lol
Thank you, Kasura and a Happy 2019!
Oh my good ness. This is epic and huge.
The opening shot of Angband is tremendous and sets the scene for this cosmic battle that i s way way beyond anything that Tolkien imagined. This whole chapter is just brilliant.
It looked — like part of a mountain-chain torn from its roots. And that, Vanimórë knew, was what it was supposed to resemble. It was Angband reimagined, recreated, fashioned of Melkor’s mind. Rivers of lightning splintered against it; fire and liquid darkness poured from its base and vast doorways gaped. A dragon curled about its triple crown of peaks, a dragon as black as they, eyes red as lava.
Ancalagon raised his head and roared forth flame.
And Melkor stood at the titanic doorway, the black stone around him curved like fangs. His armour was night-dark, the helm encasing his face, but leaving his features visible, sable hair streaming like a storm of night.
He was the Melkor of old, before his fall, and his eyes held the promise of ruin, of Ages of hatred.
The fortress moved, implacable as a juggernaut
We get this enormously satisfying sense of scale and then the gruesome horror, and the specatacle of Melkor's hordes. It feels like we could actually lose this battle.
Oh thank you, Ziggy :) I am so glad it comes across as if the end is in doubt!
I knew this chapter was going to be spectacular, but it exceeded my expectations ten times over! I keep going back to read over parts again, there is so much to take in here.
The imagery that you use brings this cosmic feeling to all of the moments here, and the fully realized elves in all of their glory are so fantastic. You made me want to cheer for them!
"They came down from the high airs in a line like the visible impact of a hurricane. The wind screamed and the spirits of the air, lead by one whom had been master of it before Manwë bound him, blasted back the blinding dust-cloud, flinging it northward, scattering Melkor’s armies like black, tumbling chaff. "
“And a star, dropping, faster, faster, sword outstretched and blazing white as lightning, wings back like a diving eagle, raven hair streaming, gauging perfectly Smaug’s speed and his own —“
These moments and so many others just took my breath, I can see it so vividly in my mind!
I loved the interactions of Mairon and Celebrimbor, they both fall into banter so easily. I was also loved seeing Vanya again, she is tough as nails. There were so many moments I loved, Elgalad and Van, Glorfindel and Ecthelion, I could gush about this chapter for a long time!
The scope of the battle was done so well, it felt vast and expansive. Within the full scope of the fight, all of the little personal details that you gave it were wonderful. With characters facing off against old foes, Glorfindel and Ecthelion against the Balrogs, or Turin against Glaurung. I can't imagine how hard it was to work this all together in a way that made sense, but you did it flawlessly; with so much to show, you balanced both macro and micro beautifully.
Van's realization at the end of this chapter is chilling, that this might have been Eru's plan all along, or that history is repeating itself. I still don't understand Eru or his motivation, or why he feels the need to try and bring another universe to its end. I can only hope that Vanimórë, Feanor, Fingolfin, and all of the rest of them can change the course of this universe.
I am so happy we get another chapter to continue this, I really cannot wait! Thank you for working so hard to bring your story to this point!
I am so thrilled at the comments I have had on this chapter, because it was damned hard to write :D And left me pretty exhausted, hence it being split into 2. And I have an idea the next one is going to be harder still. So thank you VERY much for your kind words, Poppy Marie :)
Oh my goodness, wow O_o
This is incredible, Spiced. I feel exhausted - like I was there with them.
Rivers of lightning splintered against it; fire and liquid darkness poured from its base and vast doorways gaped. A dragon curled about its triple crown of peaks, a dragon as black as they, eyes red as lava.
Ancalagon raised his head and roared forth flame.
I can see this so clearly; I've even got music in my head to accompany it. Brilliant description.
Their tall helms were a hindrance to the kiss.
I love that you included this. And oh, that farewell...I hope they do see each other on the other side :( :(
Seeing them all as they were meant to be is wonderful - Eonwë, Coldagnir, the Elves, Vanya's harder side (that gave me shivers in the most amazing way). And Sauron and Celebrimbor, wary cats, yes, perfect. And Orodreth is back! For some reason that made me ridiculously happy, I know he's an absolute piece of work in your 'verse but I've been thinking about him a lot lately. Loved the women turning up, and that Van's thought was essentially, hmm, yeah, wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of that lot...
And a star, dropping, faster, faster, sword outstretched and blazing white as lightning, wings back like a diving eagle, raven hair streaming, gauging perfectly Smaug’s speed and his own —
— And struck. The sword pierced dragon-hide like a white-hot awl.
Detonation. A fireball. Heat slammed outwards like a giant’s fist. Where Smaug had flown, there was now— nothing.
Vanimórë heard Fëanor’s agonised mind-shout. Fingolfin!
Fingolfin. For a moment, his soul-flame shone more brilliantly than any star then, it, too, was dragged inexorably into the Void of Angband.
Oh, goodness, I know (I hope??) you will bring Fingolfin back, but what is Fëanor going to do before then!?
And Vanimórë could not take his attention from Eru for one moment. He had rarely fought with fury; he had learned that lesson young. Be cold. Be ice. But now he felt it rising within him. He could not release it. Could not. It would destroy the Universe. And suddenly, shockingly as blood pouring into the throat from a death wound, came a sense of dreadful revelation.
Eru...is this what happened to thee? Is it?
:O :O :O
Amazing, Spiced, I can't imagine what it must have taken to write all this...so much happening at once, and yet it's all so clear, and so immersive. Love it
No-one is gone forever — hopefully! I am so glad you liked this. I was going to write it as one last chapter, but so much was going onut I’m delighted that you liked it and it made you tired, as it did me, lol! Thank you!
I am super late to this cahpter, but wow there is a lot here!
Maglor and Van are such a fantastic dynamic to read, with all of their complex emotions for one another. Their love, hate, admiration, and anger, this amalgamation of emotions creates something really unique in their relationship that makes them so incredible together. You have done such an amazing job with their characters across all your stories. Van got what he needed here, to let go at least for a little bit, his control must just kill him to keep up. When he said that he didn't "require" love, that was an interesting statement. I suppose he does not requrie it no, but does he even want it? Or is this just a holdover from his entire life of not allowing himself to want?
I did not see this coming with Eru, though I thought he was acting a bit odd. So now it will be Melkor and Eru against Vanimorë? Or all of them against one another? I can't believe after so long that we are coming to the final battle! I am so excited to see what happens form here!
Thank you for your brilliant writing!
Thank you so much, Poppy :) I am so glad you enjoyed it.
Van and Maglor are so interesting for me to write; so much going on there, although they’re not even a couple, lol.
I imagine that ‘love’ comment is honestly true as far as Van sees it, although he uses not necessarily seeing all the truth. When he killed his sister, and he was so young, he had no-one to love, and what he wanted *was* someone to love. So it;s the truth as far as it goes.
I am writing Dagor Dagorath at the moment, it’s the hardest bit of writing I have ever done!
oh no, looks like it will be Eru vs Van in the end...am hoping Feanor et all are on Van's side, and lend their collective strength to help Van...
And he and Maglor together, wow hot! fanning herself! These 2 are so mesmerizing.
lol I don't have high opinion of Indis, and you just show what a leech she is. I think some of her negative traits got passed down to Galadriel. And Yuck...seducing a young Feanor, what's she thinking. urgh....so disgusted by this :(
Wow, Kasura, massive apologies for not replying to this. I never even saw it :(
Thank you so much for your kind comments. I am so glad you liked Van and Maglor together, they are an odd not-couple but so interesting to write.
I have always thought Galadriel was rather like Indis, although more ‘aggressive’, perhaps.
Oh man, I am so disgusted with Finwe! He infuriates me! He is such a selfish prick. What exactly did Edenel do to him that was oh so terrible? Nothing! Finwe is just like Turgon, stewing in their jealousies and envies and letting it warp them -almost seeming to WANT it to warp them neither seem to have put up much of a fight, but rather embraced the nasty elements of their personalities. I wanted Edenel to punch Finwe in the face, or laugh in his face, but I can understand how his passed trauma caused him to think he 'owed' Finwe, or was somehow to blame -which just makes Finwe's actions all the more deplorable! Finwe is taking advantage of a person who has lived through horrors and pain he cannot even begin to fathom!
I have zero sympathy for Finwe left, and don't care at all if he ever comes to understand the true ugliness of what he did and what he has become. He hurt Edenel and that is just not on!
I love how much emotion you got me feeling over this scene! It was superbly executed :)
Thank you so much :)
I think Finwë is horribly jealous (still) and guilt-ridden (still) but his time in Valinor did him no good whatsoever, I feel, because all that just comes out now as a kind of hate against someone who (you’re right) does not deserve it.
"‘I love Elgalad, but he is not Elgalad.’
‘He is as much Elgalad as anyone, I think. One cannot live a persona for so long without some of it becoming real.’
‘Maglor. It is all right. Once I needed...I admit, I needed to love, for someone to love me.’ His smile almost shattered Maglor’s heart. Whatever the reason, he had been betrayed by the one person he had loved and trusted."
Oh god. This was such a gut-punch. I want to cry and throw things at my computer screen, screaming No, Van, NO! How does he bottle this all inside? And yet he does -and HAS for millennium, since he was just a child. My gods. This hurts so much to read tho, the way he tries to convince Maglor -himself- that he is fine, that he doesn't need anyone to love him anymore. :weeps: This was so SO well written.
OK, man, this scene between Maglor and Van, the whole of it, Maglor going behind Van's eyes, Maglor dominating Van, switching their roles out, not letting Van get away from him, and then, at the end, when Van tells him not to tell anyone....it was glorious and kept me clued to the page and left me rocking with all the passion and just sheer emotion and vivid detail of it all! Absolutely fabulous! So, so good!
Oh, thank you, I am glad you like it. It was a bit hard to write but it is a part of Van’s personality and Maglor knows it, really, from a long, long time ago (must have been in Dark God) and yes. And the hurt, always there, I am afraid....
Oh, I have been looking forwards to the encounter between Van and Indis! Love this:
walking with a long, light prowl
Yes, perfect. And Indis's story...well, I can see where your Galadriel gets her tendencies from :/
‘Really, my dear. I am not quite a slut. I do not bed everyone.’ He widened his eyes provocatively. ‘She is very beautiful, but she simply wanted to use me.’
A smile tugged at Maglor’s mouth. His long lashes lowered. He said demurely: ‘Of course she did.’
I love reading them together. So much history, so many layers of emotion and fury and kinship and love...brilliant and riveting.
The love of a Fëanorion for his kin is like nothing I have ever known. It is potent. But for a while thou didst hate them, in the depth of thy being, because they left thee all alone. They died. And Maedhros, the Storm of the North, they called him, though the orcs had another name, the Burning One, whose face they fled from, the brother thou didst admire and love most of all, who came back from torment and maiming, in the end he, too, left thee. He succumbed to despair. And thou didst hate him for that. And thou couldst not live with hating him, couldst thou?
Oh my goodness, YES, I haven't gone there yet in my 'verse because in Paradox he has moved on from that (as much as he is ever able to...) but this is exactly what I think too. (I'm choking up now.)
‘Vanimórë?’ Maglor said sharply, impatiently. And under that, there was a terrible tenderness. ‘Vanimorë?’
‘Melkor,’ Vanimórë said. ‘The Void has opened.’
‘Yes.’ Vanimórë turned to him, and his eyes reflected the red light like the wrath of gods. ‘I was holding it. This is not me. This is Eru. He has grown impatient. He wants the end-game, Maglor. And now it comes.’
OHHH!!! So it is time for the end game...and Eru against Vanimórë, yes, of course, that makes complete sense.
Amazing chapter; I cannot wait to see where this goes!
OOoh, I’m glad you ‘got’ that, because I think it’s perfectly possible to hate someone you love for something that was not even their fault, but the loneliness, the sense of having being left behind...it made me so sad.
Yes, end game coming up, and then I can heave a big sigh of relief and continue with other things, (and Portal stories) lol.
Thank you so much!
He broke from stillness, leapt down over the boulders, through the heather, her beautiful man, whom had died even before she with her short Mortal life. Had died but now lived, sun-bright hair streaming about him in wild waves, eyes light-filled, his wonderful mouth saying her name over and over.
He swept her up. She had forgotten how tall he was! But her heart, even in old age, had never forgotten the heat of his kiss, the strength of his arms. He kissed her all over her face and she chased his lips with her own until all that was left was a laughter welling up like a clear spring, a laughter that brought tears in its wake.
She turned to Finrod, who took her hand. ‘Welcome, beloved lady,’ he said and he, too kissed her. ‘I rejoice to see thee again.’
And he said, to Vanimórë: I thank thee.
I don't know how I missed this update- but it was such a treat to find. This is so romantic andbeautiful. As always, the imagery is superb, but the delicacy of he characterisation is just lovely- I wasn't familiar with the story but this has made me want to read it now.
Oh our wonderful noble Vanimore- absorbing all the sickness and evil done to those first elves who became orcs- i really want to see them cleansed and hrald- but I love that final scene with Maglor and rather agree with Van that I also 'enjoyed Maglor calling him an idiot in that wonderfully mellifluous bell-toned voice.'
I am really loking forward to that next bit.
Thank you so much :) I am so pleased you liked it. Sorry for the brevity, but I am with Mum at the moment!
Oh, wow! Turgon completely lost it! Even though you warned me that he'd try to kill Fingolfin, I am still shocked with how it all unfolded, and am left asking myself what the hell is wrong with him! How could he do this to Fingolfin? Gods, he has been eaten alive by his own hatred -and the worse is that he seems to have indulged it, that he enjoyed hating. Ugh.
Feanor, Fingolfin, all of these lovely Elves have finally said enough is enough, and what a powerful image they made! So beautiful, so full of fire, and so completely done with this. And I absolutely love that Fingolfin was the one to finally announce to the world that he was Feanor's lover! And I loved the way he said he, the way he was so done with people butting into his business! I can feel how entirely fed up they are all with hiding in the shadows, the time to burn openly has come!
I did love writing Fingolfin just completely done with the whole shebang and spoke out! He’d waited a log time for that :) Thank you!
Damn, what a cliff-hanger! Did someone attack Feanor (or is the place Turgon tried to kill Fingolfin, but failed and hit Feanor instead?); I shall have to read and find out!
I really loved this: “Gods, the things we will believe, so as not to accept the truth. They knew it was no illusion. But even Elves could find themselves confronted by something their minds could not encompass. Not forever. We will grow into what we were always meant to be. Beings of starlight, shedding our forms at will to walk among the worlds...”
Feanor is very insightful here in his understanding of human nature and the way the mind can twist itself away from the truth even when it’s looking us in the face (reminds me a lot of the times we are living in right now, ugh, but very spot on).
And I loved this glimpse of what the Elves will be/should have always been: Beings of starlight, shedding our forms at will to walk among the worlds...” So beautiful.
Another fantastic chapter!
Yes, they will become that, the Elves, well are already now, as far as I’ve written :)
Yes, oddd how things happening now are very relevant to things in the story! Thank you :)
I am terribly late reviewing this! my apologies!
The first part of this chapter was so beautiful! I have seen this art around on different sites and I thought it was just beautiful. I didn't expect to get such a lovely piece about these characters that we really never see, but I very much enjoyed it. You have a talent for making even minor plot points or side stories interesting and beautiful in their own rights. It adds dimension to the world you've built and I really enjoyed reading this one. I hope that Andreth and Aegnor are very happy!
I am looking forward more and more to this battle! I cannot wait to see how you write it! I was also intrigued by the questions of what to do with the orcs, I am not sure how I feel about Van's idea. I hate the thought of him putting himself thorough more horrible things even if his motivations are good. :/ I can't wait to see what Maglor has to say to Van though! I have been waiting for them to have an encounter!
Thank you for writing!
No apologies necessary— thank you for commenting :) I’m so glad you liked it, and I am working on Maglor and Van, just slowly, die to personal stuff. But it will come :)
Oh gods, this chapter! I love it! But man, what a punch in the gut at the beginning! That nightmare/alternative universe for Van was horrific. I absolutely loved seeing him and Vanya interacting! Van is right that he should have let her have the chance to grow strong, even if that meant she had to live a life similar to his, but I completely understand why he wasn’t able to either –both the explanation of not having an examples of strong women at that time, but also him being who he is, he just wanted to save her from the pain and was willing to sacrifice anything –even become her murderer- to see her safe (as he thought she would be in death). Also, it was so interesting the way they don’t have the same relationship with Sauron. And that makes so much sense too. Sauron wasn’t a large presence in their life by the time Vanya died; he wasn’t their direct tormenter nor did he fuck with her mind the way he did Van’s, holding out the possibility of partnership/ the illusion of love if only Van followed him, as Sauron did in the Second Age. I find Van and Sauron’s relationship one of the most interesting in the story, as well as one of the most heartbreaking. I guess I just keep holding my breath hoping that this time, this time, Sauron will do or say something to show he really does love Van and somehow he’d been playing some long game to keep Van safe all this time. I feel a bit like I am in an abusive relationship, and keep staying for the chance of love long after the violence started. That’s a credit to your writing, since their relationship was so abusive, and yet, a part of Van does love Sauron…of maybe doesn’t love…but is still seeking something from him, maybe exactly what I keep hoping for: that underneath everything, Sauron cares, even just a little, about him. Or maybe Van is smarter than that, and knows Sauron doesn’t care, but…I don’t know, still cares about Sauron anyway, even knowing Sauron never did and never will love him back?
This is what I am talking about! Their relationship is so complex, and even after all this time I still don’t have it figured out, and it still keeps me at the edge of my seat!
Bainalph: Thranduil get away from him! Seriously, I want to grab Bainalph and run! I just have these strong feelings of protectiveness towards Bainalph, and I am so done with Thranduil and his emotional abuse! If he gets within touching distance of Bainalph one more time I swear I will bitch-slap him. Lol. But, seriously, I love the strong emotions you have me feeling over these two, even the very strong, negative ones for Thranduil.
Absolutely fantastic chapter! Loved it!
Aww, thank you so much, Beth :)
Yes, the Van/Sauron relationship is one even I don’t understand really. I cab’t help thinking that somewhere inside Van is a boy who wanted is father to love him, even if it meant being used for sex. As for Sauron...he’s almost incomprehensible, but no doubt we’ll see further along the line!
Yes, dear Bainalph. well, he won’t have to be used by Thranduil any longer, I do know that, although what he’ll choose is another matter.
sniff:sniff: the Andreth section is beautiful. Glad she got her happily ever after!
Whoa, not surprised Indis is the same mold as Galadriel. So sad for Fingolfin to realize he can't respect both of his parents. Will Finwe ever make peace with his twin?
The first elves who got twisted into orcs by Melkor - glad you thought of them - and hoping they could be brought back. Because what was done to them was heartbreaking. And make sense Vanimore has to absorb corruptions to restore these elves back...the process is horrifying and bad for him, but I think it will be worth it to save these elves...
aww, thank you, Kasura :) So glad you like it.
I think Galadriel and Indis are both ambitious yes, but they did very little except sit around; that’s just not the way to be — they have to *do* something.
Vanimór´ë would not forget those first Elves; it’s going to be hell for him, though, and rather dangerous.
Thank you so much :)
Yesssss, my Sunday night mood has just gone from grumpy to great! I loved this chapter so much. What amazing character development - and, in Aegnor and Andreth's case, resolution! Hurrah!
I thought, this is too sad, I must do something about this!
Oh, me too, I've been thinking about this so much lately! Can't wait to see where you've taken this :D and I adore that picture, it's one of my favourite images of Finrod.
Long she lived, the great love of her girlhood tucked into her heart as her body aged and her hair grew white wings that slowly, stealthy as a night-thief, stole the shining darkness of her youth
What a gorgeous, perfect image...and I cried when she saw them both there, and at this:
She turned to Finrod, who took her hand. ‘Welcome, beloved lady,’ he said and he, too kissed her. ‘I rejoice to see thee again.’
And he said, to Vanimórë: I thank thee.
Thank you for giving them a happy ending! :D
(I know it's not over yet, but whatever happens, it's already happier than canon...)
Fingon's perspective on his father and Fëanor's relationship is really interesting; I love how clear sighted he is. This is interesting, too:
There were enough parents who let their children be raised by servants because they were too busy.
Especially in light of Aegnor's determination not to be with Andreth, in case he wasn't able to be around for any possible children. Clearly some parents didn't think that was so important...and actually, come to think of it, there were Elves that had children in wartime, weren't there? Dior and Nimloth, Elwing and Eärendil...unless that doesn't count because at least one of the couple in both cases was Half-Elven? Although Maeglin was born in wartime too...hmmm! Perhaps Aegnor and Finrod are just far too honourable XD
‘Do not tell me that she is going to try to influence Vanimórë?’ Fingon laughed in disbelief
Er...yeah, I don't see that going well!
Tauriel putting in an appearance made me smile - and I loved Maglor and Van at the end there, especially Maglor calling him an idiot. I can't get enough of their unique relationship; I feel like Maglor will dare to say things to Van that nobody else will.
Oh, no, I’m sorry you’re grumpy :(
I always felt Andreth and Aegnor was much, much sadder than any of the other Mortal/Elf or Elf/Maia stories. And that picture just made me cry. (Yes, it’S a gorgeous Finrod picture! It’s just how I imagine him) I have no idea about the marriage in wartime thing, but Finrod does tell Andreth that, so I had to go with it. But I think also Aegnor would be afraid to lose her to a Mortal death, that he couldn’t see how to cope with it, it was not something, (I assume) he had seen.I believe he was in the Dagor Aglareb and other sorties but death in battle is not the same as watching someone age and die, and probably that was a huge reason, even if he admitted it to no-one but her. And then he died before she did, and she had to live on. ;__;
I’m sure they’ll be fine; they have a long time, and she was a very wise woman. Van probably thought she would make a wonderful goddess :) I hope you do write something about these two, I would love to read it!! That picture just caught at my heart. I’ve seen some beautiful young Andreth and Aegnor images by Ekukanova, but there is something much more poignant in this one. And she is still lovely, despite her age.
I don’t think Van minds people trying to influence him, but he would probably tell Indis to broaden her horizons a bit, as she’s a goddess, not to cling to the old ways so much! Of course, some of the Valinor Elves feel a power vacuum in the sense that their ‘gods’ are gone, and that’s a scary thing.
Haha, I do love writing Van and Maglor; it’s so not a normal relationship (or even a relationship in the normal sense) and never could be, but it makes me think that Maglor is technically older than Van (whatever Van has become) and sometimes does feel this ‘younger’ man is a complete idiot and needs to be told XD. And Van does not mind this (he is, after all, used to being ordered around, or was, for thousands of years).
Thank you very much, Narya, and I am glad I could make your evening a bit less grumpy :)
So much to unpack, this chapter was full of such fabulous interactions, and the psychology major in me is just thrilled with all the subtle nuances in the conversations! First I will say that you write complex personalities so well, its honestly so much fun for me to try and figure them out.
I love that Celebrimbor is opening up to Fëanor now, I think he really needs that family connection especially with all the uncertainty and mixed emotions of what to do with Mairon. As usual, I love getting a look inside his head, being born out of the earth and not quite like the gods or the elves, with emotional output that is never clearly defined just makes him that much more fascinating. His own perspective of his actions makes quite a lot of sense here, though I never agree with anything he did, it is easier to see his angle now. Coldagnir almost accusing him of having some “feeling” of some kind towards Celebrimbor is interesting, because it’s almost as if he doesn't truly know what he feels towards Celebrimbor. And how a being like Mairon understands feelings must be another thing entirely. I am sorry for going on and on about him, you’ve simply created such an amazing case study in his character, I find myself trying to pick apart his mind far too often.
I love seeing Van and Elgalad conversing, I hope they find a new dynamic fitting to who they truly are. I am still not even sure who that is for Elgalad though, and I don’t think Vanimorë is either. I feel like Vanimorë is almost trying to pull away again, I just wish he could see that he does not need to choose this emotional exile. Even though he can, he won’t just reach out to those who would welcome him, I worry for him when he does that :(
I sense some drama with Eru coming up here, he has been off in the shadows and now he decides to show up? What are you planning Eru?
Thank you again for all the work and time you put in, each chapter is a treat!
Thank you, Poppy Marie :)
Mairon is interesting precisely because his emotions are not human; it is almost as if he understands them but cannot feel them, except in his own way. I think Vanimórë said he had total empathy without feeling it at all, which is dangerous.
As for Vanimórë — he’s hovering on the brink, I think. As long as he can ‘do’ something (But not too much) he can pretend things are not too bad. :/
And Eru, yes, Eru has his own agenda, here!
So very pleased you are still enjoying and commenting; thank you so much!
" I was sick of Galadriel. I never liked her and her attitude that all should treat her like a queen when she did nothing but hide away until the wars were well over. She could have acquitted herself well in battle, but she never wanted to, because do not tell me that anyone would have tried to stop her.’" This sums up my feeling about Galadriel alright...I can never understand how wonderful she is,how awe-inspiring, when she did nothing, accomplished nothing, comparing to her other relatives. And then just took over Amroth's kingdom when there's a power vacuum after his death- feels like usurping to me...
So glad to read about Celebrimbor's conflicting feelings for Sauron. And eagerly awaiting more of him and Feanor's open heart conversations about Sauron, and what they plan to do with the maia ;) Ah hope Eru is not steering up the pot too much.
Wait...Dior hasn't seen his sons yet? and he's bitching about Feanorians...this guy needs to get his priorities straight.
Good point about Olwe and Thingol - how Olwe can't change, he just doesn't get it because he never endured fighting hopeless wars. Prob most Teleri elves are like Olwe, they can't change, and they don't know how to change....
Hi Kasura, I hope you’re well.
Yes, I know re: Galadriel, when I came into the online fandom so many people seemed to practically worship her, and I thought: WHY? I never understood it, and she does not interest me. She’s the least of the house of Finarfin and only lived because she hid from war! I doubt I’ll ever write about her again. She’s gone as far as I’m concerned.
Eru definitely has his own agenda for Sauron, but we’ll hear more about that later. But Celebrimbor shall definitely meet him again.
Dior, well, he was infected by sickness from the Silmarils, so now he’s not, and hopefully will meet his sons.
As for the Teleri of Alqualondë — they have done sod-all throughout history, and I cannot write about boring bastards ;) Those who were in Middle-earth were different of course.