And it's breaking my heart that Van feels responsible now for not having looked after Bainalph, while he's still bearing the guilt for Vanya's "fate" (despite her telling him not to) and hasn't reconciled himself to the fact that he wasn't as responsible for Elgalad's "fate" as he thought. If anyone should feel responsible for Bainalph's lonely, ugly, long-sought-after death, it surely isn't Van. So now I'm anxious to see Melkor AND Thranduil brought to some kind of reckoning... but what kind, I can't begin to imagine!!
Author's Response: :( He wasn't there, Ebbingnight - he didn't really want to come back and by the time he did (probably a thousand years) then it was too late, but of course he thinks that because he theoretically could have done something, he should have (if he had not been steeped in self-pity).
Oh, BAinalph! Do we know of his death already?? I am sorry I have forgotten when and where- but it sounds cruel and sad. But Van brings hi in cack in one fell and beautifully dangerous (one feels) swoop. I wish Thranduil had not been such a heartless bastard to Bainalph- in the earlier fic in Carn Dum I had hopes for him- but obviously poorly palced.
This was a wonderful chapter- especially Nerdanel and Fanari- I loved that intimacy of sharing a room and saying more than they would normally in the dark.
Author's Response: We didn't, no, Ziggy, at the end of Dark God when the comet fragmented, the wood-Elves took refuge, but there was a long span of time before this story - I am thinking about 6-7,000 years, and it was then Bainalph died.
I think Thranduil never got over the guilt he felt about Bainalph, and after, it was too late, Bainalph would not just be used :(
Oh, yes, I think that kind of close woman-to-woman talk is something that might be good for Nerdanel once she accepts who Fanari is and what she represents :) Thank you, Ziggy
just lovethat whole scene with mairon- the humour, the urbsane sophistication, the bitchiness!
Mairon put an arm through his son's, thoroughly enjoying the expression on their faces. It was petty to gloat, but who could blame him? Let fear pile on fear. Let them wonder what side Vanimórë, Fëanor's blood-father, was on, what side Mairon himself was on. Oh, that would be the greatest of ironies, would it not, if he fought on the side of the Noldor. If he had the chance...
He had no illusions. His son would not lift to finger to save him from Fëanorion vengeance; he possessed a streak of Mairon's own pitilessness which showed in battle, in how he punished malefactors. But still, let them wonder...let them fear.
'Tol Eresseä for now. There is a place there, for those who returned from Middle-earth and needed peace and healing. I will protect them and Valinor,' Vanimórë said. 'when Melkor comes.'
They strolled away.
'Oh, one thing,' Vanimórë stopped as if just remembering something. 'The Silmaril.'
'Well, you need not look for it here,' Mairon said, enjoying the strangled screams of the Valar. 'I have it. Do you think Fëanor wants it back?'
Vanimórë smiled at him. 'What a stunning idea,' he said. 'I like it.'JUst adore Mairon's insouciance, his goading of the Valar and their thralls. Wonderfully humorous.
I admit to being confused by what has happened with Eru and Vanimore- I was fine up to this and the last chapter really but I am really busy at work and have not given it the time it needs or deserves- will re-read over the holidays because the philosophy and thought in this is so rich and complex, you do have to attend and read activiely.
Beautiful ending my dear.
Author's Response: I do enjoy Mairon and Vanimórë and their bitchy banter, Ziggy :) Thank you.
Well, I haven't actually explained about Vanimórë and Eru yet, although hopefully when I do it will make some sort of sense, although it's probably quantum and who understands that? :)
The gathering had left him feeling tight in his own skin, irritable.
That's such a perfect way of putting it! I love it when I'm reading and the writer uses a phrase or a piece of description that exactly captures something. It gives me happy feels, whatever I'm reading about.
I am very glad to see Nerdanel meeting her extended family, and bonding tentatively with Fanari. I hope she can arrive at acceptance, in the end. Fanari's cat seems to like her, which I'm taking as a good sign!
And Bainalph. I'm glad he's free at last - I'm sure Van and Elgalad will look after him.
A very random question - will we see Coldagnir again? I was always a big fan of his!
Author's Response: Oh, thank you, Narya :) You must have felt like that yourself- I have
I think maybe Nerdanel can come to accept what Fanari believes in, what she is, gradually, and she likes Tindómion- Celebrimbor she would know, at least a bit, but not Tindómion, and I think she would rather have some access to the court than shut herself away.
Yes, I hope Bainalph will be all right, once he finds his feet, and learns to live.
Yes, we shall see Coldagnir again, although I won't say when or how :)
Thank you very much, Narya :)
Oh, two chapters! I am behind.
Mairon and Van's conversation at the beginning is so interesting, the power balance between them now so obviously different. And fascinating that Mairon seems to want to fight on the side of the Noldor - I suppose he would, after the Valar had the temerity to take Arda from him. I'm not sure that the Noldor will be keen on him joining them, though; I have a feeling Celebrimbor might have something to say.
Seeing so many characters from across your stories assemble for battle is exciting. Nerdanel is an intriguing one; her portrayal is very nuanced. I feel like there is redemption out there for her, once she works out who she is without the Valar's influence.
Van and Elgalad puzzling things out is a lovely, almost peaceful moment after all that tension - but the end of the chapter is a real gut punch :'( unlike some reviewers, I hadn't predicted Bainalph becoming a wraith, but of course it makes sense. How incredibly sad!
Author's Response: I think Mairon wishes the power dynamic wasn't different, because I don't think he will ever accept that his son is more powerful, or at least would never act as if he was. And I can see him allying himself with the Noldor, but for himself, not for them, really. And Celebrimbor, hmm, yes!
Yes, Nerdanel will come into herself properly, I think, once the last vestige of the Valars' miasma has been swept away.
Van and Elgalad needed a 'moment' they'll not get many before the battles, but yes, I know, poor Bainalph, I had thought for a while this had happened to him :( Thank you for reading and commenting, Narya :)
Oh my god! When I got to the end of the last chapter I gasped! I did not see that coming, I can't believe how shitty Thranduil is, to drive Bainalph to that kind of death! I hope his guilt has paid him back over the years, its horrible :( I'm glad that Bainalph is back now, but I can't imagine that him meeting Thranduil will be very plesant, there is simply nothing that he can really say to make the situation better, he has to live with what he did. I hope at least Bainalph will be able to find someone he loves who can give him what he needs but actually love him back.
I think that hearing from Nerdanel was interesting, I hope she can find her way out of this horrible stagnant state she has been trapped in. Maybe have a friendly relationship with her sons, and find out who she is without the Valar pouring ideas into her head. I also wonder what will happen with the "sons" and "daughters" of the Valar, I wonder how an encounter between Feanor and Finarfin will go?
I hope that Elgalad and Van can reconnect, I see Van becoming more distant, and maybe now Elgalad can take on a new role in his life. Before he was the catalyst, now maybe he can be what keeps Van from becoming a lonely, disconnected being like Eru.
Beautiful as always, I love all of the interactions that are coming out of this, like all the loose ends finally coming together. Thanks for writing!!!
Author's Response: Thank you, Poppy Marie :) I know, I am angry at Thranduil, myself, even though I partially understand him, but Bainalph was the one who paid the price, and now, surely, he has to find some happiness.
I am sure Nerdanel (and all of them) will be able to become themselves in time, and her sons do love her, even though she thinks they don't because they chose Fëanor over her.
Ah, well, Fëanor and Finarfin, we shall see once Finarfin is freed. :)
Vanimórë will need someone to keep him anchored' definitely, perhaps more than one.
You're so kind :) I'm happy you enjoyed it
Of course I've given up thinking I know what's going to happen, but I can't stop thinking about Melkor now, and what Mairon murmured to him in that horrid moment when he wanted to geld Van for entertainment. I thought that it was merely that he wouldn't be as amusing a plaything, but perhaps it was something else entirely. I am anxious to see Melkor now, which is something I NEVER thought I'd say!
Author's Response: Melkor is monumentally egoistic but I imagine even he would be surprised someone wanted to see him 😂. I think Mairon did not want that because he thought it would turn Vanimórë into just a killing monster, which he himself did not want- he needed someone clever.
Aw, noooo, Bainalph!
I knew, there could be no happy end for him, but hope is always the last to die, isn't it?
What happened to him? Did he die of grief or (as I prefer to imagine), did he die heroically in Thranduil's arms, giving his life for him? I am not a romantic, but I just can't believe that Thranduil lets Bainalph off the hook so easily.
I am sure, you will reveal it to us, but it's going to make my heart bleed anyway...
Please let Bainalph return and let him have at least a bout of shameless and guiltless sex with Thranduil, haha.
I also can't wait to see what you have in mind for us when it comes to Celebrimbor and Mairon! In a way, they remind me of Van and Maglor; all the hate and love (though neither Mairon nor Celebrimbor would admit to the latter and rather call it mutual respect – well maybe not even that!)
Life and work have been so busy the last months that I didn't have any time to review.
But you can't imagine how much joy your stories give me every day. I keep rereading all of them, and I am so glad to see that you continue sharing your wonderful talent with us, Spiced. Thank you very much!
Author's Response: Hello, Yseult, it is so nice to see you again :) In a manner of speaking.
I shall be explaining what happened to poor Bainalph in the next chapter. Don't worry, all those Vanimórë called back will have a chance of life again. What they do with it will be up to them :)
Ah-ha, yes, I should think Celebrimbor will be looking forward to his revenge on Mairon, however that turns out *waggles eyebrows*.
I am so very glad that you still read my work and enjoy it, that is so lovely to know :) Thank you so much for taking the time to comment today :)
This is such a great homecoming for the Noldor! Scenes between Sauron and Vanimore are always a delight. I loved that Sauron is sweating about his future a bit, even if it's in his usual let's-scheme-calmly way. Vanimore keeps saying others have more cause and/or right to torment his father when I’m certain he comes at the top of that list. And he keeps wondering why Elgalad loves him, which is heartbreaking. It doesn’t seem to compute to him that he’s lovable.
I think this chapter is the first one where the divide between mortal(ish)-Van and God-Vanimore really hit for me. I’m going to miss mortalish-Van a lot.
I must say I was really saddened about how the meeting between Fëanor and Nerdanel went (because I like Nerd a lot). I’ve never wanted to slap him so much since I started reading your book. I know Feanor’s thing isn’t compassion but I thought he was absolutely ghastly to Nerdanel. He really acts like the Feanorions are his alone and she’s an unpleasant stranger pulling on his sleeve. I don’t envy her having to live under his rule while he has all their sons around him and she’s relegated to the womb that was a mean to an end. Fanari said she would have had a terrible time of living with a man that loves another man while in a sham marriage and Nerdanel isn’t nearly as saintly. She was wrong to want their relationship to resume, especially since the influence of the Valar has not dissipated and therefore she doesn’t know herself yet, but how casually Fëanor treat her with scorn for being ensnared by the Valar (things he was willing to excuse to an extent in Rosriel and others) was very harsh. This is a section I loved for how intransigent you wrote Fëanor.
Edenel has been through so much and it’s heartbreaking that Finwë who was his one love (once) won’t even talk to him! Maybe him and the ghostly elves can get some happiness in the post!Valar Valinor. I can’t wait to know more about Bainalph! And if all the elves are coming back, does that mean Thingol will have to live under Feanor’s rule or at least alongside him in Valinor? That will make for interesting politics.
Author's Response: Espiritrators, thank you for a super review :)
Well, Sauron definitely should be worrying. Vanimórë is not letting him off that mountain, so he'll have to face the Noldor, and I don't imagine that will be among his favourite days. While I think there is some part of Vanimórë that would love to punish his father, there's also a part which has become almost...accepting of this past slavery, that thinks he somehow deserved it, as can be the case with people who've survived trauma, along with his feeling of unworthiness when it comes to Elgalad's love.
I also think that yes, he's becoming more...remote and hates it. He does not want to live with all this power. He feels there is no place for him except maybe the Timeless Halls where he does not want to go. He may be ...whatever now, god, creator, Power, but his mindset is that of an Elf.
Yes, Nerdanel is to be pitied along with all of those who've only known Valinor (Ingwë for instance did know Middle-earth as did the firstcomers, but she never did). In Middle-earth thousands of years have gone by since the fall of the meteor that destroyed so much of the old world. Fëanor and the others have spent so many years there that returning to Valinor feels like walking into half-set jelly (jello) and he probably couldn't believe that Nerdanel would still be thinking of him (except as a past mistake). He hated his marriage (in this 'verse) and has that feeling you get when some-one you don't want makes a pass at you. (Many years ago when I was in a very bad place mentally, I was in a short relationship with some-one who was a great guy and a friend, but whom I felt sick being with. It made me feel physically sick and trapped, and I had to practically stay drunk all the time to cope, and that's what Fëanor feels, or remembers feeling rather. So he kind of lashed out. If she had just been friendly, courteous, but nothing more, I think he would have been a lot kinder, but he put down boundaries there. He's right that she needs to find herself, truly know herself as a person and a woman - just not with him. Well, they will all get the chance.
I think the same sort of thing pertains to Finwë and Edenel, except Finwë does probably feel guilty and is thus avoiding Edenel whereas Edenel is better suited to cope with that kind of rejection because he us able (even if he does not want to) to put his relationship in the far distant past.
I was thinking about Thingol earlier actually. I always thought he might have been reborn in Valinor eventually, and perhaps was in Alqualondë with Olwë, but we have not heard from the Teleri, yet :)
As for poor Bainalph - this was why Vanimórë wanted Elgalad there, and Edenel is also in Tirion...
Thank you very much for taking the time to comment. I'm very glad you've enjoyed reading so far.
Bainalph... a wraith? We saw it coming, but it's still like a knife to the heart, to see someone so loving, houseless so long from having loved so hard and so hopelessly.
Author's Response: I know, poor Bainalph, :( it made me so sad writing that. Thank you, Ebbingnight
I was so happy to come home to this. I'm super jet-lagged, so apologies in advance if I start wittering nonsense.
Maglor's grief over Van is really affecting - although shortly afterwards you gave us this, which I adored:
It was Maglor who moved first, ramming his sword back into its housing, striding toward him, eyes as silver as the stars spun out of Vanimórë's imagination (or memory) and a face like an ice-storm. He hit Vanimórë with a perfect, devastating right-cross that staggered him, and then stepped back.
'Well, good, thou didst feel that, I was beginning to wonder if thou wert real,' he flared.
I couldn't help snorting. After everything these two have been through together, a happy reunion wouldn't work - of course Maglor would react this way. And Van's entrance was particularly dramatic. His time outside the universe seems to have turned him into even more of a showman.
The moment with Vanya was beautiful. Knowing now what Sauron is in your 'verse, it feels appropriate that his daughter takes on the "Mother Earth" role that Dana stole for a while.
The history you hint at between Fëanor and Ingwë intrigued me - have you written about this anywhere else? I was sad about Finwë though, and his refusal to meet Edenel. Do the Valar still have a grip on him?
On a totally different note, I watched Thor 3 this afternoon, and more than anything it made me want to go and re-read the crossover fic you wrote with Loki and Van, so that's my next port of call :)
Author's Response: I hope you had a lovely time, Narya, and can get over your jet lag. :)
Lol, you are right. Vanimórë and Maglor are never going to have a 'peaceful' relationship :)
Vanya was always supposed to be this, and time is no constraint to her any more. Back in Magnificat III she put out the fire bowls in Danas temple in Sud Sicanna. She will have true freedom .
Re: Finwë - in Magnificat III, Vanimórë did speak to Finwë in Valinor about Edenel. Of course Finwë was shocked and pained, but mostly we have it from Edenel's perspective. Fëanor has never said very much about Finwë, as far as I remember. Finwë chose not to come to Middle-earth. I am not sure the Valar have a hold on him so much as the entire 'atmosphere' of Valinor through thousands of years acts like a slow 'bleach' on most of them there.
Oh, Kev saw Thor 3 last week and enjoyed it very much :)
Thank you so much for writing a comment when you were so jet-lagged :)
Her "mantle": yes, of course. Lovely.
Author's Response: :) Thank you, Ebbingnight
Vanya's reappearance was deeply satisfying: I had always worried about her fate (not as much as Van, of course) and wondered why she had to suffer so much as a seemingly minor character. Now that we understand WHO she is, this makes much more sense (and Dana's usurpation of her role much more damnable). Van's being so drawn to who he thought Dana was makes perfect sense as well, since Vanya truly does represent what Dana only pretended to be. It's also fitting that Sauron's daughter should be the earth goddess, given what we now know that he is. And, finally, of course Vanya has ALWAYS been held in Van's heart: but only now can he accept what she tells him, that she was always with him and always will be. Like the revelation that Elgalad is not who he seemed to be, this revelation about Vanya puts a whole new light on important parts of the story. (And, of course, the rest of the chapter is brilliant, but Vanya was the true surprise--- to everyone present in the story, not just to me!)
Author's Response: Thank you, Ebbingnight. Vanya always did have this destiny, which, yes, does explain why Vanimórë was always so sure there was a 'Mother' - it was just not Dana. But probably she did know, or guess, that was Vanya's role ultimately, if Vanya could possibly have escaped, or gone with Vanimórë into the south when they were both young. He was called back, of course, but it might have been different for Vanya, perhaps she could have become part of the Earth much earlier, truly escaped, and perhaps Sauron would not have even considered drawing her back, since it was Vanimórë he was focussed on. Well, now Vanya can take on her 'mantle'. She can become what she always should have been.
So. Many. Paradoxes. I keep trying to keep track of everything in my head, but now I have to question everything! Van's entrance here was perfect, so dramatic and flashy, so very like Feanor, who of course is his Grandfather/son? Its all a giant jumble now, so difficult to sort out lol. :) I am loving all of the interactions, you do them so well, and to see all of these charaters finally confronting one another, I love it! I wonder if FInwe will ever confront Edenel, or if anything will happen to make him see past his jelousy.
I am so looking forward to seeing more of these charaters interact, I wonder what will happen when Feanor meets Arafinwe and of course Sauron, who is also sort of his Grandfather. Of course Celebrimbor and Sauron, I think that will be most interesting, and will we get to see Thranduil and Bainaph again? I can't wait to see whats coming next. Especially now that Sauron has a silmaril, I don't think thats going to go over well.
I love this, it just keeps getting better! Thanks for writing!
Author's Response: I know, it's all 'quantum' and even physicist don't understand it, :)
I'm so glad you liked it :) We shall see what happens, and I am writing at the moment. (I doubt Sauron is going to keep the Silmaril. I doubt Vanimórë would let him)
I too am curious about Vanya now that Móriel has been found. Of course Van would send Elgalad on this mission: despite everything, whom else would he trust?
Author's Response: Well, we will see what happens with Vanya next chapter :) I've already written it. :)
Van would send Elgalad of course, being unable to go himself until he's back 'in' the world. And yes, of course he would trust him :) Thank you, ebbingnight
Oh yes! This was great, I always love Mairon POV, its strange to see him almost upset at the thought of Vanimore being gone, I wonder what he might have flet if Van truly was gone. I loved the interaction between him and Elgalad, and him and Van. I can't wait to see what will happen to him in the future, this will be the first time we really get to see him interact with others when he is no longer in control of the situation. I still wonder if he can really feel any genuine emotion, or if he is just fixated on getting "his" world back. I can't wait to see what happens between him and Celebrimbor, not to mention the rest of the Feanorians; I can't imagine its going to be a peaceful meeting, though I have a feeling he still has a job to do in the upcoming battle.
There is so much here, the way that things are coming together, its beautiful how everything is connected. Now Moriel is waking up! I wonder, will we get to see Vanya soon?
I am so relieved that Dana is gone, and Van is so incredible in his power now! I really hope he gets some time to speak with Elgalad, there is a lot there that needs to be worked through. I am glad to see that Van doesn't hate him, but there is clearly a lot of hurt buried under his calm exterior.
I cannot wait for what comes next!
Author's Response: I wonder with Sauron, too, he is so complex :)
Yes, I am writing what happens to Vanya :)
I'm so glad that you liked this, Poppy :) Yes, Van does need time to work through what happened with Elgalad and though he does have time, technically, he just feels that he has other things to do at the moment
Oh my God, there is so much I love about this! The interaction between Elgalad and Sauron - that is a power dynamic I never expected to see, and I enjoyed it immensely.
No-one but a god could enter the adamantine gates. Mairon regarded them, then gestured to Elgalad.
I can see this so clearly. I wish we could film your stories somehow.
Mairon's love and admiration for his son, twisted as it is, becomes more and more apparent. And goodness me, this:
There was movement in the gaping doorway, a surge of darkness; two gigantic legs, spined with hair like sword-thorns, pushed out into the wintry light. There was a glint of oil-black eyes, deathly and emotionless yet filled with a rapacious hunger and, Mairon was sure, terror. Green fluid dripped from a wickedly curving beak, smoked as it splashed on the stones.
Phenomenal description. The hairs on my arms were standing on end, and I literally shuddered as I read it. And I don't even mind spiders usually ;-)
Dana, pulling herself from her wounded 'mother'.
'You would not kill a woman, Vanimórë,' she pleaded, holding out her arms. 'She is not me.. She trapped me.
*Shudders* I can't believe I didn't realise the link between Ungoliant and Dana. It fits so perfectly.
Elgalad flung a burning look at Mairon. 'I am not him. I should never have agreed to do what I did. I deserve thy hate.'
'I could never hate Elgalad,' Vanimórë murmured. 'But art thou him? Was he even real?'
'I do not know,' Elgalad whispered. 'I never knew. There is no-one else.'
Ach, you're breaking my heart with these two. Still, at least you give us this lovely moment:
He turned toward the doors, then spun back on his heel, caught Vanimórë's face between both hands and kissed him, hard and long. Then, quickly, he drew back, and walked away without a word.
*Melts* the change in the power dynamic between them now that Elgalad is his "true" self is fascinating - and hot.
I'm so excited for the final showdown. It must be an amazing experience for you as an author to be writing this part of the story, with all the years you've worked towards it. *Hugs* I hope the swift update this time means you're feeling better?
Author's Response: Thank you, Narya. The last time Sauron and Elgalad met was in Dark God, when he was Sauron's prisoner for a time, so yes, this was a rather different meeting, but you can't easily phaze Sauron.
I so very glad you enjoyed this :) And yes, it's satisfying really, to come all this way and get to this place in the story; I'm really quite surprised I managed to do it.
And thank you, I am feeling a bit better and taking each day as it comes.
This was incredible, it was so unexpected, and yet it makes so much sense. I have been turing it over and over in my head, thinking about all of the possiblites, but I know that it would take pages to say everything I want to say. It was mindbending in a good way!
First we have the horror of everyones reactions to Van attempt to destroy himslef, even Sauron seems schoked. That was very painful, and the chapter seemed to be moving in a rather hopeless direction. I do hope he comes to know how much Elgalad loves him :(
So Van is keeping all of the Noldor's souls safe inside himself? That is so very him. I love how its Maglor that can feel something is not right, it speaks to the connection they have, and how deep the bond runs. Its kind of creepy, its like another Valinor, this is clearly a better cage, but a cage nonetheless.
Vanimore. Created. Melkor. Wow, that hit me out of nowhere, how did that idea emerge? Its amazing, tragic, fanstastic twist. Also his passion fed into the Noldor?!?! It all makes sense now! I hope this will make him think a little more highly of himself, his fire in a sense created their own. All of his beautiful family included.
Lastly, I can't wait to see them all work together against Melkor, you have so many storylines going its going to be a hell of a show! I was also left with a feeling of foreboding, and a faint sliver of hope, it seems like Van has got his fight back!
As usual I would wait years for this story, and Im so gald to see an update! Thank you!!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Poppy Marie :) I think Vanimórë himself needs time to think, to be honest, about Elgalad, and about everything, really. And yes, he wanted so much just to keep the Noldor safe, not to let them go off to face Ungoliant, and yet they cannot remain there, like Valinor it would smother them.
I suppose the idea about Melkor was hovering there for a long time, and yes, he (Vanimórë) did pour his passion, his fire, even I suppose his tragedy, into the Noldor. and I think you'll find he has definitely got his fight back - and I doubt you'll have to wait long for the next update :) I am already well into the chapter. Again, thank you so much. these reviews have encouraged me so much
I am a bit blown by this, Spiced. You have moved so far from fanfic and into the realms of original, stunning fiction, that Tolkien must have exploded!
So vanimore created the situation of Valinor in a way? In new cuivenen - being as stifling and closed as Valinor. And so they will rebel, as they did before and it all starts again...but this is a new version? So THIS time, it could be different?
The Dagor Dagoret -again, in this version (like QM having endless versions), MIGHT succeed- but has Vanimore been in every version (do you understnad what I mean by version- earlier, Eru revealed that this Arda was not the first)- am I getting this right?
Breath-taking and brilliant, Spiced. Your imagination surpasses anything I have read in any fanfic certainly and rivals some of the great fantasy and sci-fi writers.
Author's Response: Lol, Ziggy, you've actually jumped ahead of me a bit. :D At the moment, the Noldor are enclosed, but Vanimórë won't leave them there; I think he sees what you think, that they would feel the same kind of madness of imprisonment.
But yes...although I haven't really written it yet, there have been other 'versions' of Arda - Vanimórë just has not caught up with YOU yet, in what that might possibly mean!
Aww, thank you so much - I don't think it is that good myself, by the scope of the characters seem to pull me into an 'epic' story:)
Interesting that this feels more "right" than the much earlier version, despite the paradoxes here, which means that I'll have to re-adjust my interpretation as a constant reader of the 'verse. (Can paradoxes be "interpreted", I wonder? Perhaps not, but I think there are even more twists to come, as they reveal themselves to you... and, eventually, to us.)
And I'm very glad you're back, speaking of that communal feeling that someone essential was missing!!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Ebbingnight :) You have been so very patient. I did have a lot of trouble, not only with health issues, but also work is so very busy, and I was writing when I could, but not happy with it, when I suddenly knew what I had to write, so hypothetically had to virtually scrap everything I had written. So I am glad this 'feels' more right. :)
Aww a happy surprise getting to read a new chapter from you this evening! Very interesting twist , I wonder if morgoths interest in van were subconsciously because of these events
Please keep posting ! This arc is one of my most favourite fanfics :)
Author's Response: Oh, you're kind, Caunedhiel :) Thank you! I am so glad you're still enjoying reading it
Maglor dived into the abyss on a tide of music, a harp that played itself. He reached within for the truth and spun it forth in gold. He sang of what should be, not what was, of grief and love, and passion and eternal defiance of the dark. The chamber resonated with it as he followed his father and Glorfindel into the depths.
Oh my God, this is amazing writing. Just beautiful description.
Elgalad, recognisably Elgalad, and yet not. Harder, steel rather than silver, blazing with power. The face of a god.
As is this. Seeing Elgalad uncloaked at last is truly awesome, and Maglor finally admitting that he loves as well as hates Van, and can't let him go, is gut wrenching.
The Noldor stuck in their too-perfect world is wonderfully creepy.
Light and flame erupted, hurling itself outward into that which was not. Where there had been nothing save his mind and Eru's. He locked both together, reached in, and ripped the Melkor-soul out, felt its cry reverberate across unfolding Time. It was cruel and necessary. And of course, with that savage birth Melkor could never have been other than he was.
Oh. OH! Van created him! Van created Melkor! I didn't see that coming at all, but it feels utterly perfect. And the Noldor too!
I love the paradox set up here. No need to apologise for the wait - it was well worth it. Hugs.
Author's Response: Oh, I am so glad you liked this, Narya. I wailed when I literally had to scrap what I had written, but this just exploded into me, and so I had to write it. Thank you!
“Two swords,” Glorfindel said. “Two weapons.”
“Morgoth's weapon.” Fëanor stepped to Vanimórë's side, laid a hand on his son's shoulder. “Or Eru's.”
The scene of Van's torture is so awful. It reminds me of those medieval paintings of souls in hell - utterly horrific.
Diamond fire exploded in the chamber, and the solar-roar of Glorfindel's golden power. His hand met Fëanor's over the wreck of Vanimórë's body. Their fingers interlaced. At the last moment, Maglor's hand came down on theirs.
I love that - at the last moment Maglor joins the rescue mission.
I hope you keep feeling better, Spiced. Sending you lots of good wishes!
Author's Response: I m so glad you liked this, Narya :) And I thank you for your good wishes :)
“Thou doth deserve so much better.” He drew a hand down Bainalph's cheek.
“Do I? I began this. Perhaps I deserve exactly this.” His smile was cold.
Oh, Bainalph. Will wee see more of him and Thranduil, now that you're moving towards the concluding cycle of your story? Or will you focus mainly on the Noldor from here?
I really enjoyed the dynamic between Elgalad and Fëanor too. It's interesting to see Elgalad's relationships through a different lens, now that we know his true nature. There is a real equality between him and Fëanor here. Heck, Elgalad even seems to know and understand Eru better than (or at least as well as) Eru knows himself.
Author's Response: I am not sure yet, Narya. I do have to concentrate on other characters, but I dare say I shall write more in time. I am glad you liked Elgalad and Fëanor and yes, I think Elgalad has been close to Eru longer than any other, and so does perhaps understand him quite a lot. Thank you so much :)
OK, Take 2, the site had a bit of a meltdown...
The grandest of illusions, Sauron had called the world, and Vanimórë had not understood, then. Now, he did. He could have spent an eternity studying the structure of each atom but, as he dragged himself clear of the temptation, he also comprehended why a god's view of Arda could never be his own. And he did not want it to be. His father, even Melkor, had preferred form, to live in the world. Of course they had. He also, in a flash, felt the horror of existence without a body, why the Elves loathed the ancient tales which prophesied that they would, eventually, fade into spirit alone.
I love your writing so much. Your Eru is utterly fascinating - much more human and fallible than I had imagined.
“Thou art not going to fail,” Eru murmured. “Not at the last.” He moved back, raised his arms. The palace fled away; they stood in infinity, where galaxies trailed pinwheel arms, and black holes sucked in suns. Vast wings of diamond and ebony snapped up and spanned Time. Everything was within Eru and of him. And he hung like a man crucified upon Eternity.
I'm sorry that I don't have sensible words to express my feelings about this chapter. I've read it a couple of times now and I can't get over the beautiful, subtle nuances in the dialogue between the two of them, the power shifts, and the mythical imagery. I know how long you've worked on this, I just want you to know how much I still love it. You've made me think about canon in a completely new way.
Author's Response: I'm so pleased you still like this, Narya. That people still read me means more to me than anything, especially since I've been writing this series for over then years now. It amazes me people still read it, so thank you again :)