Such a tough situation for the whole family. I can only echo Thranduil's thoughts - how are they to recover from something so terrible? I hope they find a way...
Thanks for updating! Poor Legolas. He must be terrified. Thank goodness he has his friends and family around him. I hope this incident will shock his mother into seeing reason, but somehow I think even though she's remorseful now, it might be too late. How terrible for Thranduil, too, being torn so many ways. I hope they can find a way through this and still emerge as a family on the other side.
They will emerge as some kind of family! not very reassuring, I know, but families are resilient... Thank you so much for taking the time to review!
Ok, I admit i got excited when I saw this, and then realised that I already read this chapter on ffnet. Ah, the wait is too long, and the emotion is waning. I loved the idea of this story, plus it is written in third rather than first person, which gives it so much more richness and perspective. When can we expect a new installment?
I am glad at least that the idea of the story still sparks some kind of excitement! It has been an unreasonably long time since an update, I agree (I have had rather a lot of changes since June). I assure you, however, that the story is not at all abandoned! Cheekybeak is being very patient with me in slogging through the mess of chapters I've sent to her and I am editing chapter 10 tonight and tomorrow. I hope to be able to post an update within a few days. I hope that the emotion has not waned too much and that you will be able to enjoy chapter 10 as if it had been published right after chapter 9. Thank you for taking the time to drop a review to express your continued interest in the story!!
Oh, poor Legolas. How terrifying! A good chance for Lumornon to show his caring side, though. I like the trust between the brothers.
But where is the healer? Hurry up - Legolas needs you!
I am glad the trust between them came through and the emotion. Assault of any kind, but especially by a family member and that causes such injury, is terrifying, I agree. The healer arrives next chapter which I hope to publish very soon! Thank you for taking the time to read and review.
Oh no! How are either of them to recover from what Gwaerain has done? It's clear she's Ill but it's hard to see how Legolas can e ear trust her again. Is this an effect of the Shadow? I hope the healers can help her....and Legolas.
Great chapter, as always.) I can't believe Gwaerain's transformations! She wants so badly to protect her children, she's turning into exactly what she wants to protect them from.
Only thing I can say would make this easier to read, is you know how you have it in previous chapters? The big spaces aren't between each line, so it makes it seem more like a REAL real book. Also, being careful to add commas between compound sentences and x2 adjectives adds to the flow for the reader (Plz don't hurt me).
I only say it because everything you write has such a beautiful, positive whirl to it! It's the little details that make this seem professional quality. So thnx for posting and updating so regular.D Have a great weekend!
Author's Response: Oh I would never hurt anyone for well-meant feedback! I live for specific constructive criticism. It is very helpful and I truly appreciate that you took the time to tell me about the spacing and punctuation. My computer is on the fritz so I uploaded this from my phone; I will go back and change the spacing as soon as I have time to fight with my phone's internet browser. :) I will keep the comma feedback in mind as I edit the next few chapters. I am glad that it seems gwaerain still comes across as believable to you. Thank you, as always Arasa, for taking the time to read and then write a review!
Oh…It was so heart-rending, Piniriel and Legolas listening to their parents' fighting. At least he has a warm baby to hug.)
Hopefully, Saida and Ithildim will help Legolas. I liked the way she signed the note, but I noticed you made this chapter nice and short to add some suspense!
Btw, did I miss something, or did you post chps 6&7 together? They came up at the same time. Anyways, awaiting next chapter.D
Author's Response: Nope, you did not miss anything! These were originally one part of the same chapter, so I posted them together because they are thematically similar :) I too hold Ithildim and saida will be able to help legolas. They are good friends, I think. And thank you for noticing saida's signature; I have tried to give each of them little things to distinguish their personalities. Thank you again for taking the time to review, as usual, Arasa!
Ooh - what's going on? A mysterious meeting and Legolas's mother is acting very strangely. Nice set-up - I look forward to seeing where this leads :)
Author's Response: I am glad you appreciated the set-up. I've been fretting over these next few chapters for quite a whole :) as always, thank you for taking the time to review
That must have been painful for Legolas to listen to his parents' argument. Especially as his mother sounds so unstable. Is it grief or is there more to it than that? I can't decide yet.
Thanks for updating!
Author's Response: Is it grief or is there something more? That's the question of the story, I think.. And yes, quite painful, I imagine. Thank you very much, Naledi, for taking the time to review
Ooh - what happens when he gets back? Now I'm eager to know what happens next :)
Author's Response: I'm glad to know I made you eager. Either I'm abusing cliffhangers or I'm doing something right! Ha. :) Hopefully you'll get a little more idea of what will happen in chs 6 and 7, but the real heart of things rears its head in ch 8. Thank you for taking the time to review, Naledi!
Ooh... It's so sad when there's nothing between doing what you need to do and what others want you to do, except guilt and uncertainty. This's captured it so well!
I think his mother is past the point of no return, making this so hard on him...:( With Arda soon to fall into darkness, I don't think she could ever truly heal without sailing. I just thought it was so awful how Legolas and even Thranduil were terribly affected by his mother's fall. Although in PJ's version, he said that she died...so...? Think you're planning to go with that? Personally, I like the idea of her sailing better than dying, obviously.D
The analogy to the kite's anchor, I loved, by the way. It just really pulls you into the story when everything Legolas does is shown: folding his hands, fidgeting. It's a perfect window into what he's feeling, describing what he does. Great job.
Oh yeah...my PC says that this chapter was posted tomorrow, so I'm just going to go with I was given a special pre-viewing of the chapter. Don't mind me. It's midnight and I should be in bed. Have a great day and keep up the good work!
Author's Response: I am very glad you caught onto that guilt as you described in your first paragraph; that was the point of this chapter and I was quite worried it come across right! Thanks for the compliment on description. I really enjoy writing images. :) And, to be honest, I was.... Not a huge fan of PJ's Hobbit interpretation (there were brilliant and breathtaking moments, to be sure! And I understand that a lot of people do love it, and I respect that). That being said... my Mirkwood backstory, therefore, is completely separate from the movie-verse.... I do appreciate the emotions PJ capitalized on in the Mirkwood family--they were a very real interpretation of loss and grief in a family unit, I think, especially in wartime. Those emotions are reflected in this story, because grief is such a universal human experience, as well as loss and trauma. As to whether Gwaerain dies or sails, you will have to wait and see! I wouldn't want to spoil that yet. As always, I so appreciate you taking the time to review, Arasa! Your words are always kind and encouraging. And, yes, we will pretend you have gotten a glimpse into the future! Though I more suspect, maybe, we are just in different time zones, Perhaps. I truly don't know! Have a lovely day, as well!
I enjoyed this! I liked the camaraderie among the warriors. I think it's a good idea for Legolas to get away from the citadel, but at the same time, if his mother does sail, it's tragic that he'll miss the time with Piniriel.
I look forward to the next update!
Author's Response: Hello, Naledi! Thank you very much for taking the time to review! And yes, it is yet to be seen exactly whether Piniriel and his mother will be there when he returns. A bit of a bummer, to be sure...! Hope you are well.
Hey, great chapter. This is what could help Legolas heal, moving on and getting back into nature, taking up patrol agaain. It's where he belongs!
But I was just wondering, did I miss something, or haven't you told us yet what Legolas's necklace/pendant signifies? See, I'm working on a book where the main character has a leaf pendant that was from his dead mother...? Is that the case, like a present from his mother before his sister died?
Anyways, waiting for the next installment! -no pressure-)
Author's Response: Hello, Arasa! I am glad you enjoyed this chapter! Chapter 5 is now up. :) No, you did not miss anything--it has not yet been explained, and will not be for a while. All you need to know right now is that it is important, because Legolas does not yet know exactly what it means to him either. ;) Thanks for taking the time to review, Arasa!
Oh, this was so perfect and so sad. Ithildim and Saida are such good friends to Legolas. One of the things I thought Peter Jackson did well in the Hobbit was the the kind of old, deep sadness associated with Legolas' mother's passing. This has captured it on such a closer, more in-depth level. Great work!
Author's Response: Hello, Arasa! I am so glad you are enjoying Ithildim and Saida. They are two of my very favorite characters--OC or otherwise!--to write. After reading this comment, I went to y.o.u.t.u.b.e and watched the scenes you were referencing in PJ's Hobbit series, and I was touched you felt I evoked that same strain of sadness. I hope I can give some life and understanding and dimension to my interpretation of a family's 'multivariate' loss in this story. Thank you again for taking the time to review!!
Oh my gosh, your writing is so beautiful, so vibrant! I can see and hear everything that's going on. To me, that's all a writer can ask for, draw in the reader until the world you create is just as real as the one we live in. Sorry for cutting this short...but there's another chapter!
- rubs hands with greedy eyes -
Author's Response: Hello again, Arasa! Thank you again for taking the time to review. I am so pleased to hear the words paint a picture for you--I work very hard at that so this feedback is very meaningful to me. Thank you for letting me know you are enjoying this story!!
The moment by the grave was heartbreaking. As was, for me, seeing how much Piniriel and Legolas love each other. I hope there is some way for Legolas's mother to find healing without sailing, but she seems so bleak and despairing it's hard to see how that can happen.
Thanks for the lovely update!
Author's Response: Hello, Naledi! Thank you for taking the time to write a review. Yes, Piniriel and Legolas love each other very much, and there is a depth of sibling relationship there that is both touching and, probably, indicative of larger family issues... I would love for Gwaerain to find that strength within herself, too, but you have noted she seems very bleak and despairing, and I think you are right... Any efforts to stay may, now, just be too little too late! Thank you for letting me know that you are enjoying the story!
Gwaerain's pain is so real here - having seen what happened to her daughter, now she's doing all she can to protect Legolas. I can understand why she would want him to leave, but, of course, it must tear Legolas apart to know he's going to be torn away from those he loves, whichever choice he makes.
Author's Response: Yes, it is not a pleasant spot to be in, for either of them, to be sure... I am glad that the push-and-pull and the pain of unmade choices is becoming tangible here. Thank you again for reviewing!
So sad - not only having lost his sister, now Legolas faces losing his mother. I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with this.
Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to review, Naledi! It is quite sad--I am depressing myself! I hope you enjoy the future chapters.
You describe the power of her mother's love and grief very well
Author's Response: Thank you! Gwaerain is proving...difficult, so I am pleased the description is effective.
There are some absolutely wonderful details in this that just bring a very good focus in my mind- the
Ithildim’s company had been stopped in the middle of the Elf Path, and Ithildim was reviewing a chart from the Western patrol with a soldier when he heard the approaching thrum of a messenger’s horse. When he looked up....”
Elednil nodded and stood from where he had been drawing a diagram on the earth with a stick.
“Your mother will need to speak with you later,” Thranduil said, crossing the room and placing a hand on Legolas’ shoulder, looking down into his face and reaching out to wipe a stripe of dried mud off his cheek
Ithildim pushed the chart into Elednil’s chest and walked to Legolas and Saida; he crouched at his friends’ side as Legolas stared blankly at the dirt in front of him.Such details and carefully plotted actions make this visual to me. Lovely see you posting here- a chance ot catch up
Author's Response: Hello, Ziggy! It is so lovely to see the bits that really stuck out to you, and know that the details were effective and not extraneous. Making sure the reader feels like they are there is important to me. Thank you for taking the time to write this review!
I haven't read your other works, so I'm not quite sure what's going on yet, but you're an excellent writer. Is this going to be a full-fledged story, or is this a brief recap of past events, providing a history for later works? Either way, keep up the good work! :)
Author's Response: Hello, Arasa17! Thank you very much for taking the time to review, and for the kind comment on my writing. :) My stories generally range between 3,000 to 25,000 words, and "Enough" will be on the upper limits of that. So in answer to your question: this is a "full-fledged story" for me, but also definitely a history for things yet to come. This is actually only the second published story of a much larger series (all mostly unfinished and unedited...) that takes place in Mirkwood prior to the War of the Ring. Thanks again for the encouragement! Look forward to hearing from you in the future.
Oh I loved this! It was gripping, and so sad. Everything I thought it would be, but better. Honestly, one of the best of yours I have read!
The necklace! I recognise that necklace from the Rivendell story you sent me, lovely link if you ever publish that.
I am liking Lumornon, what I have seen of him, but the Queen...well, you have only given us a tiny glimpse so far. I wonder what it is makes her think Legolas would come with her? Is it just grief that has skewed her thinking so she clings to any child she can? because I imagine she would know he would be reluctant to go.
Can't wait for the next chapter. This was seriously great! You have me hooked already.
Author's Response: One of the best of mine you have read? Oh no, now the pressure is truly on to deliver the plot in a satisfying manner! :P I am very glad you recognized the necklace; I pulled quite a few descriptions from that little piece for this story. Yes, the Queen is very complicated, and I'm still not quite pleased with her, even now as I edit... There is more story to her than what is necessary for this story, it turns out...! But you're on the right track, I think, with grief skewing perception, and this is actually one of the threads I was hoping you would take a look at later on. It was encouraging to get a positive response for this chapter. Thanks so much for your kind and encouraging comments, as usual!