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I'll be Yours if You'll be Mine by NelyafinweFeanorion Teen
Modern setting AU. Maedhros/Fingon. Maedhros owns a bookstore. Fingon is in grad school. Expect appearances from varied members...
Artifices of Gold and Shadow by Marchwriter Mature
When a ‘messenger of the Valar’ arrives on a rainy night, Celebrimbor — living quietly in exile — offers him shelter...
Moderately Functional by KimicThranduilion General Audiences
When Legolas’ intended day off drinking his favourite Dorwinion is interrupted for an important mission he is determined...
Friendship Amidst Loss by KimicThranduilion Teen
When Legolas and his troop become targets for slave traders tragedy strikes and the Prince suffers a devastating loss after...
Fragments from Middle-earth by Linda Hoyland General Audiences
Ficlets of under 1000 words written for past BTMEM Challenges. They feature mostly Aragorn, Faramir, Halbarad and OCs
Oaths of Allegiance by Linda Hoyland General Audiences
 Faramir takes an oath of fealty to two very different liege lords.
A liaison in the Great Greenwood by Azukiel Explicit
Legolas has loved Adlanniel since before she came of age, and she has loved him dearly. However, when Legolas volunteers...

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Stories: 1715
Chapters: 8741
Word count: 26623095
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Spiced Wine
02/16/19 01:52 pm
B2Me is underway folks. Amazing collection of Bingo Cards!
02/16/19 10:56 am
Sounds like we've got some good new fics/updates on their way if everyone is writing this weekend:)
02/15/19 10:13 pm
I've been working so hard to get them done, that I'm done in the process.
02/15/19 10:12 pm
That sounds like my kind of weekend. Spiced! Hopefully I can have some fics finished for everyone to read. Fingers crossed. :)
02/15/19 10:12 pm
Similar I think! It's meant to be cloudy here but no rain forecast so I think a walk to start with, then some writing time
Spiced Wine
02/15/19 07:36 pm
Not really, but the weather is supposed to be quite mild and nice. Probably relax and write and go for a couple of walks. You?
Spiced Wine
02/15/19 07:15 pm
Not really, but the weather is supposed to be quite mild and nice. Probably relax and write and go for a couple of walks. You?
02/15/19 06:36 pm
Fri-yay! :D anybody got any nice plans this weekend?
Spiced Wine
02/15/19 10:11 am
Happy Friday, everyone :)
Spiced Wine
02/14/19 09:46 pm
And to you, Alquien :)
Shout Archive

Name: Naledi (Signed) · Date: November 07, 2017 15:59 · For: Chapter 16

Ooh, that is devious! And thinking about it, I don't think Halbarad ever directly said who had sent them. Your explanation is much more likely!

Hopefully the long ride will give Elladan the time to recover from seeing all those nakes pictures of Legolas before he actually has to face him again!

Author's Response:

Poor Elladan. Given the unspoken attraction running between him and Legolas I think he found those pictures far too nice for his liking. Very uncomfortable since he is trying very hard to ignore that. 

As we have seen in other stories He moves on to open dislike and antagonism. Anything to keep the distance since between the two of them! 


Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: November 06, 2017 20:38 · For: Chapter 1
His obsession with Legolas' health which is never explained beyond a burden Legolas must bear. (Why a mortal would obsess about the health of an immortal elf I do not know....perhaps I need to explore that a bit)

Ooh, yes, please do! I can just picture some sort of crazy misunderstanding that dates back to Estel's childhood, and now Legolas can't tell him the truth...but who knows? Anyway, I'd love to read it if you ever feel like writing it. You always come up with such hilarious yet poignant messes for them to get into!

Author's Response:

Perhaps he stumbled across Legolas and Elrohir in a compromising position when he was a small child and Elrohir’s mouth ran away with him by way of explanation! Turned a tryst into a medical examination. I could see that happening. 

Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: November 06, 2017 20:19 · For: Chapter 5
"You might want to get rid of those marigolds you insisted on planting around the front entrance. Elrond." The wizard said sagely.

"Why?" Elrond was horrified with that suggestion. "I like the marigolds. They bring a burst of colour don't you think."

Good old Gandalf! And poor Erestor, being sent to sort out the marigolds. Bless.

"I just meant.....sometimes you are easily distracted, I didn't mean flighty....I know you don't like that!" Elrohir pleaded.

Silly Elrohir...never knows when to keep his mouth shut!

Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: November 06, 2017 20:12 · For: Chapter 4
"No!" Elrohir's voice was a mangled squeak of nervousness. "No he has not moved. He has not sat up or done anything like that Estel. He definitely did not speak to me."

Oh my goodness...Elrohir, you are useless! I love that Gandalf clocked what was going on though. Of course he would see through the deception.

Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: November 06, 2017 19:57 · For: Chapter 2
He says you did not even have heating, or basic plumbing. Father is very interested in that...you know how he is about the plumbing.

Yay, Elrond's plumbing! Always makes me chuckle. Question though - why is Aragorn so concerned for Legolas's health at this point? I always thought it was the sea longing, but we're before that. Did I miss a story, or forget something? (Sorry!)

"I think I have a headache."

"Oh good!" Elrohir said chirpily, "That will make it all the easier to pretend then.....wont it!"

Poor Legolas...I do wonder why he listens to Elrohir sometimes!

Author's Response:

This is the first of these crazy stories Aragorn has featured in. He is usually a voice of calm amongst the chaos....at least he was in The Coronation and I see him as being a bit more....stable and normal than the totally insane elves. However everyone must have a weakness or strange trait, and Aragorn has two they constantly refer to.

1. His obsession with Legolas' health which is never explained beyond a burden Legolas must bear. (Why a mortal would obsess about the health of an immortal elf I do not know....perhaps I need to explore that a bit) 

and 2. His constant need to model himself on Beren—the man that cause the death of Galadriel's brother—and seemingly have no understanding that the elves around him actually find that more than a little bit offensive. 

Name: Narya (Signed) · Date: November 05, 2017 0:39 · For: Chapter 1
Oh, I missed this one in my re-read! I don't think I have time to read it all tonight, sadly, I have work tomorrow :( it will have to keep me company on my commute. Legolas's behaviour had me in stitches, I didn't even think of it being due to Gollum. Love your Elves and their mad antics.

Author's Response:

Perfect time to stumble across this one and start reading! It has been on hiatus for AGES and I have just returned to it to finish it off. Writing the last chapter as we speak. 

Things got SO much worse for Legolas from here....oh so much worse! 

But you knew that would happen didn't you :-) 

Name: UnnamedElement (Signed) · Date: November 02, 2017 4:34 · For: Chapter 4

God, I read this ages ago and I needed a laugh today and saw you updated, so I started from the beginning. I'd been laying in bed and giggling to myself, but when I got to this line, I laughed so suddenly my dog woke up and hid under the covers: "

Who did that? Legolas wondered angrily, Who spent their time commenting on every morsel they put in their mouth...when they were alone? Was he mad?"


and, goodness: "the normal thing might be to answer them." 


Gosh you are a natural! Humor like this is not easy for many people. So glad I have more to re-read and read tomorrow to lighten the week!

Author's Response:

Glad it's even made you laugh the second time. 

Your poor dog tho! 

These guys are crazy and this story is particularly crazy, but a good break from angst. 

Name: Naledi (Signed) · Date: November 01, 2017 22:25 · For: Chapter 15

Hehe! You should totally frame that admission. If anyone asks you about your greatest achievement you can point them to it :D

Author's Response:

That's right. On the wall in the living room. "Made Naledi agree with Aragorn." 

Name: Naledi (Signed) · Date: November 01, 2017 19:14 · For: Chapter 15

"You have to have at least one sensible, dependable person with you on this trip," Legolas said forcefully. 

And he had no idea why that made Aragorn laugh twice as hard.

It's not often I say this. In fact it's probably the first and only time, so make the most of it. But I agree with Aragorn here :D

Oh dear, Legolas made a real hash of explaining himself to Elrohir, but it was inevitable. Now not only will Elrohir be worried about both Legolas and Aragorn (and the fate of Middle-earth, of course) but he could resent Legolas for being chosen when he wasn't.

I've always thought it odd Elrohir and Elladan weren't chosen, and then they turn up anyway later on. Obviously I'm glad Legolas was chosen because the whole story would have been the worse for his absence, but it does look cowardly of Elrond not to choose someone from his own household.

Author's Response:

Legolas sees himself as eminently sensible, dependable and steadfast. Why on earth would Aragorn be laughing at that? He thinks. The fact he has just been forced to admit he may well be flighty has vanished from his mind.

I am taking your agreement with Aragorn and taking it to hang on the wall as a real achievement! 

As for the Elladan/ Elrohir situation.....we will be addressing that in the very next (and last) chapter. 

Name: Naledi (Signed) · Date: October 31, 2017 18:14 · For: Chapter 14

"Wait!" He said, "Why me? Why are you choosing me? Because you dont want to send any Imladris elves on this fools errand with overly aggressive men, directionally challenged dwarves and random small people who aren't even meant to be there?" 

LOLOLOL I thought that was the funniest line until I read: I cannot just walk away and leave them, just because you need someone sensible to accompany Aragorn."  

Sensible? Legolas?

And, yeah. How on earth is he going to tell Elrohir?


Author's Response:

Shows what a mess Aragorns actually in if Legolas is the sensible one! 

Of course Legolas doesn't see himself how others see him. In his mind he is eminently sensible, mature and level headed. (At least he is aware people don't agree with that assessment but they are wrong, of course!)

How IS he going to tell Elrohir?? With difficulty I can tell you.......and he makes a hash of it...... as always. 

But that's for the next chapter! 

Name: Naledi (Signed) · Date: October 31, 2017 18:06 · For: Chapter 13

Oh, I'm so glad you've updated this. I love your crazy elves. Legolas is right - in the end, honesty is the best policy, even though he has an awful lot of people to apologise to. I don't know why, but his speech to Elrond about the marigolds really cracked me up :)

I love that Legolas and Elrohir are finally getting some quality time together. I think they should live for the moment more often.

Author's Response:

They so should. Instead they keep getting distracted by the nightmare chaos they insist on enmeshing themselves in. 

Of course there's more of that coming up. This is only a respite amounts the storm! 

On the bright side for Elrond. Now he has the chance to branch out into roses! 

Name: NelyafinweFeanorion (Signed) · Date: October 31, 2017 3:05 · For: Chapter 14
Legolas completely irreverent impression of the members of the Fellowship is priceless here! Unvarnished. At least he realizes this may not be so much an honor as a suicide mission!
"Four small people with no shoes" so funny.
And poor Elrohir isn't going to like this one bit!

Author's Response:

Oh you are so right .. .   Elrohir is NOT going to like it. Am in the middle of that conversation at the moment. 

Its not going well. :-) 

Name: ziggy (Signed) · Date: October 30, 2017 8:45 · For: Chapter 14

oh my darling Cheekybeak!! I have so missed your brilliant comic style


These bits had me laughing till I cried and I have had to read ot to my hubyy so he understood what I was gigglingl at:

"Sure about what?" Suddenly Legolas had a bad bad feeling about this.  


"We've called you here to talk about the Fellowship of the Ring, Legolas." Elrond said.  


"The what?" Legolas often felt he had no clue what Elrond was talking about and this was one of those times. 


As usual, not paying attention - I'm going to have to go back and read this all  over again. The BEST comedy fic ever!


"That's a rather overly-dramatic name for one hobbit isn't it?" Legolas was sure it was that small hobbit fellow they had settled on to go there. "He's hardly a fellowship. Can't you just call him by his name?"

JUst completely clueless!!

"And who's he when he's at home?" Legolas was sure he hadn't heard of a Boromir before.  

But SOMETIMES he does have some sense!!
Legolas' first reaction was a burst of excitement. Him! Chosen for a highly important dangerous mission, above all the Imladris elves. And then self preservation took control.  Pay attention to that second word, Legolas, his inner voice whispered, dangerous, this is dangerous.  
But this is such a delightful fic. I need more you know- it makes me giggle like nothing else! xx

Author's Response:

Poor Legolas was terribly distracted during the Council of Elrond. First by imagining naked elves, (can you blame him?) and then by Glorfindel and Elrohir starting an all out brawl to defend him. Most of the details past him by.

however I think actually Legolas finds this happening in most meetings he attends. Such a short attention span! 

But now he has caved and agreed to Mithrandirs plan how on earth is he going to tell this news to that insecure, worrying Elrohir?? 

Glad you still like this. It's a breath of fresh air to write after angst!

Name: ziggy (Signed) · Date: October 30, 2017 8:31 · For: Chapter 13

Oh lovely! Such tenderness and affection and I like this rather insecure and anxious Elrohir just desperate for Legolas' love. I have missed this barmy fic!!

Author's Response:

They are sweet aren't they, these two. Poor Elrohir is so insecure. Desperate for Legolas' love as you say. It makes him quite unlike the feisty, naughty Elrohir who was turning Glorfindel bald by selling his hair. 

I have had this on hold for ages because I got stuck.....I just didn't know how to end it.

but all is sorted now! 

Name: Naledi (Signed) · Date: February 18, 2017 7:57 · For: Chapter 12

So he doesn't fancy me then. Elladan thought, and although it was a great relief there was also just the slightest tinge of disappointment.  

I loved that bit! It's a thread running through so many of your stories even though Elladan belongs with someone else. But who could fail to love Legolas? I love what Elladan does here, as well. After all the nonsense that's been said, Legolas needs to hear the truth. Of course, now Legolas feels he has to take responsibility for everything...

Author's Response:

It IS a thread you are right.....and Elladan is wrong because Legolas in fact fancies him right back. But he will never act on it....that is until they have their little drunken moment when they were locked in the wine cellar in The Coronation. And we all know how badly that ended up don't we! 

And of course Legolas now thinks he must take all responsibility for everything...of course he does! 

Name: Naledi (Signed) · Date: February 18, 2017 7:42 · For: Chapter 11

Lol! My first thought when Mithrandir ordered everyone to his study was that he didn't have a study. I felt like Elladan was echoing my thoughts all the way through! And as for being stuck for words when Legolas wants to know if Elladan thinks he's flighty... how was he supposed to answer? 

And now the penny has dropped- Legolas was faking unconsciousness! I can't wait for the next chapter, but that's ok, because it's already here :)

Author's Response:

Ha ha, yes. Gandalf getting a bit big for his boots there. Poor Elrond being completely walked over in his own elven enclave. And as for Elladan... yes, what could he answer without it being completely the wrong thing to say.....and saying nothing turned out to be wrong too!

Name: ziggy (Signed) · Date: February 17, 2017 23:04 · For: Chapter 12

In truth Legolas' men were a tangled mess of woodelf chaos. Does he not realise? Elladan wondered to himself. They were almost worse than Legolas himself and getting them ready to leave would take hours, not minutes.  


"No one is laughing at you Legolas. Far from it." Elladan had to try another tack to get him to see sense. 

Ha ha- lovely. 

Author's Response:

Yes, well....Legolas was slightly delusional here and not willing to admit his men are as chaotic as he can be! He is hardly going to tell Elladan that. But he knows it all the same. :-) 

Name: ziggy (Signed) · Date: February 16, 2017 18:19 · For: Chapter 11

From your repsonse to Naledi

I had forgotten all about this story until Ziggy nagged me for some comedy. 

As I said- INSPIRED- please. 


And this just had me giggling 


And so the conclusion of the Council of Elrond passed him by. In the end they seemed to have decided to send a funny little hobbit fellow into Mordor with the One Ring. 



What were they thinking? 



It would mean the end of Arda, Legolas thought. It was such a ridiculous decision....of all the people there to choose to send with this ring, this chap was ludicrous. But who was he to argue? Just a bullied Woodelf, that's all. He thought to himself, glaring at Elrohir. A bullied woodelf who is FLIGHTY, what's more. 



He hadn't forgotten Elrohir letting Aragorn call him flighty, saying he had a short attention span...oh no. No he hadn't! 


You see- I was right! You are brilliant at comedy!!!

Author's Response:


its so much easier to write too.

I think Legolas missed 3/4 of the council of Elrond either daydreaming or fuming and so the decision to send Frodo must have seemed ludicrous, And when you look at it...it kind of was. 

Dont call Legolas flighty whatever you do. 

As Elrohir is fast finding out! 

Name: UnnamedElement (Signed) · Date: February 16, 2017 6:53 · For: Chapter 11

'"Fine!" He cried, "Fine! Now I know exactly where you all stand I will be off shall I? Don't want to clutter up perfect Imladris any longer with an eccentric wood-elf now do we. Get off me!" He shrugged off Elrohir's desperate attempt at comfort. "Why don't you find someone more sen' hilarious! This is gold. And the way you keep up with your characters and storylines is always impress!

Author's Response:

Poor Legolas. He has a real inferiority complex when he is in Imladris and is very aware of his somewhat chaotic energy....all my versions of Legolas are a bit hyperactive and distractable. There is nothing worse they could do to him than discuss his flightiness behind his back. 

And poor Elrohir. Because this is Walls of Glass Elrohir and so very, very insecure. 

Name: UnnamedElement (Signed) · Date: February 16, 2017 6:47 · For: Chapter 10

This was absolutely hilarious. Can't wait to read the next chapter!

Author's Response:

Hi! Didn't know you were reading this. Glad it was funny, sometimes I really don't know! 

Name: NelyafinweFeanorion (Signed) · Date: January 03, 2017 2:13 · For: Chapter 10
This story is so entertaining. Each of the characters makes me laugh. Nice to see an update.

Author's Response:

Thanks. Needed a break from the angst! This is easy to write because I don't have to worry too much about grammer or form...it just flows on out!

Name: Naledi (Signed) · Date: January 01, 2017 14:04 · For: Chapter 10

Yeah! Go Elrohir! It's a shame he didn't hit Aragorn harder, but it's a start!

I'd forgotten all about Elladan's advice to imagine everyone naked. Poor Elrohir for seeing Legolas's thoughts just as he was imagining Elrond naked. That's going to leave him needing therapy for the whole of the next Age! 

Great start to the new year, Cheeky:)

Author's Response:

Hmm.....I didn't get an alert for this review, or Ziggy's That's strange.

I had forgotten all about this story until Ziggy nagged me for some comedy. Poor Elrohir, I know....but if there is a chance for misunderstanding you know I have to take it. Thought you might like the punch. And the reluctant apology so put those in especially for you! Plus Aragorn deserved it! 

Name: ziggy (Signed) · Date: January 01, 2017 2:50 · For: Chapter 10

Sooooo much to love!

'Just put on one of your intimidating scowls' -as this is obviously Elrohir's forte! Made me giggle, but I love the effort he makes to try and send mind messages to Legolas- and just gets these confusing messages back, including Elrond naked- just hilarious- had me laughing out loud! But I loved as well the way everyon missed big chunks of the story- exactly as it is in the actual council where Tolkien skips over loads of details and has very little dialogue in fact- loved that cleverness of you! Elladan getting worried that Legolas has a funny expression on his face and works out he is imagining him naked is a priceless bit and finally Mithrandir tells them all off and makes Aragorn apologise AS HE SHOULD! for his rudeness. And he has to mean it!


Lovey, funny, perfect. Thank you.


OK- I'll think about it- but no promises and you have to trust me.

Author's Response:

Strangely I didn't get an alert for this review...which is very odd. Maybe the new server is meaning it's going to my spam. 

I am holding you to that last line you...that you will think about it. Am holding my breath.

Glad you liked this and thanks for the encouragement to write it.

Name: KimicThranduilion (Signed) · Date: September 12, 2016 22:36 · For: Chapter 6
Glorfindel to the rescue! I love how hard he is trying to sort out poor Legolas. I can't wait to see what he tries!

Author's Response: Glorfindel has a saviour complex. It is how he sees himself.....he likes to charge in and save the day and have everybody say, "There goes Glorfindel, he's great!" So here he goes again! Shame he didn't actually listen carefully to what Legolas was telling him and ask some pointed questions!

Name: KimicThranduilion (Signed) · Date: September 12, 2016 22:25 · For: Chapter 4
Oh dear oh dear what at angled web Legolas weaves. Surely he will come cleaned to Gandalf now

Author's Response: Indeed....poor Legolas. His lies pile up to defeat him. No point trying to lie to Gandalf. He is far to intelligent for Legolas to pull the wool over his eyes. And for once Legolas realised that and coughed up with the truth!

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