This story was great fun, and wonderful to see a strong Legolas who can be thankful for his time with Lindir while being true to his heart and staying with Erestor.
Author's Response: I had to make Legolas strong because I could not bear the thought of having to write three sequels - plus one from Lindir's POV lol Thank you for your lovely comments - I am so pleased you enjoyed the story :)
Thank you for writing and sharing this, Glorfindel. I've really enjoyed every single sentence I think. So many laugh out loud lines in it. The bit about the asteroids made me giggle.
You are a genius!
Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful compliment. I love that you really enjoyed the story, and thank you for all the wonderful comments :) You have made my day!
Yes!!! *cheers for Legolas* Well done!
And well done you, for having him see sense. Now I am happy! :)
Author's Response: I had to make Legolas see sense because I could not face the thought of writing a sequel lol Thank you for your comment - I am glad you are enjoying the story :)
This must have been a difficult chapter to write. You're too good a writer, I'm afraid, lol.
But this line brings it all together perfectly:
"Why? The stains are on your side, not mine."
The infatuation must be over now, surely? Because that is all it is.
Author's Response: I love that line - it is so Lindir and captures him perfectly. Selfish git lol Thank you for your lovely comment :)
Lindir is about as spontaneous as a risk assessment.
I know, Legolas. You want to take the sex and then run. Really... you should just run.
Author's Response: Lindir is about as spontaneous as a risk assessment. You made me chuckle out loud while I was reading this on my phone on the bus lolololol Thank you for your comment and I am glad you are enjoying the story.
"Pearl oysters are inedible, so I had the pearls placed separately."
Oh, God... *grimaces*
FFS, don't encourage it, Legolas! Legolas..?
I actually really do want to rescue him, but I'm far too busy giggling. This is awesome! :D
Author's Response: It's hard to rescue anyone when there is the promise of further giggles lol Thank you for your lovely comment :)
But before I do you must peruse and sign this one-hundred page contract and a separate non-disclosure agreement.
*smirks* Um... no. No! Nonono! Legolas - you imbecile!
I follow like a dumb sheep, the type that live in the fields and munch sedately on grass during the summer months before being killed and butchered so that we can eat roast lamb dinners.
*falls about laughing*
Author's Response: He has only signed the non-disclosure agreement - but will he sign the rest? (You know he won't lol) Thank you for your lovely comments - they have made my day!
I am not sure how something can be simultaneously hilarious, and also creepy as all hell. But this is it.
Author's Response: Thank you :) I am really pleased you are enjoying the story :):):)
My inner Maia raises her eyebrows and called me a self loathing twit.
Oh, I am having all the same reactions. Silly Legolas!
If only I could be that cannon. LOL!
Btw, I forgot to say how much I enjoyed Erestor's lack of awe over Lindir in the last chapter.
Author's Response: It's odd how Legolas does not use his social position to slap down the arrogant Lindir - maybe the inner maia has a point. Thank you for your comments - I am really enjoying reading them :)
I contemplate how I can avoid Lord Lindir for the rest of my stay in Imladris.
Legolas, that's the most sensible thought you've had so far.
I love the way you describe Lindir using positive adjectives, even though he's such a - well - dick. It leads to an interesting kind of cognitive dissonance which I'm sure runs right the way through the actual 50 shades.
Author's Response: Sensible thoughts do not stay in Legolas' head for any length of time. Lindir is one of those good looing people that all right minded people avoid. Apart from Legolas, who at least tries lol Thank you for your comment :)
Oh, Legolas, you silly sod.
Well done on Lindir. Complete indifference with the slightest hint of abuse of power. I disliked him instantly. No good can come of this if Legolas persists in being an idiot.
I swear I do not see any of the tropes I use... *convinces self while inner writer gibbers in horror*
Author's Response: Legolas isn't the brightest button on the coat lol I hated Lindir by the end - nothing was too bad for him! He deserves all the horribleness he gets. Thank you for your comment :)
I'll admit straight up I haven't read the E L James thing, and common consensus tells me I'm not missing anything.
A parody though? Now that I can get on board with - especially from you. It is you, isn't it, Binky?
I'm sure this is going to be a great deal of fun, and I have some time to read.
This first chapter whets the appetite very nicely indeed.... and so, onward! :)
Author's Response: Thank you for your comment :) I didn't read the book - I looked up the synopsis on wiki and there are endless sites with truly terrible quotes - which I made use of. Yes, I am Binky :D Remember that Carry On parody I wrote years ago for you? It was more fun than the research for this story lol
Yay! You're so right, Legolas. Be with someone who loves you, not some abusive git who wants to control your life. Even if he does play the piano with an air of melancholy in a pool of moonlight. I wonder if he has to keep stopping, to move the piano back into the moonlight, lol.
Author's Response: Hehehe! I never thought of him having to move the piano - but I bet he does! Thank you for your lovely comments - I am so glad you enjoyed the story, Fin x
LOL - this: I am coming apart at the seams, like a pair of well worn trousers split when someone who has put on a bit of weight kneels down in them.
And as for: "You are so responsive, Legolas. I can do anything I like to you and you just respond." ... *double snort*
But even though Lindir gave Legolas pleasure, he's an arrogant, selfish git. Don't sign the contract, Legolas!
Author's Response: I think Lindir is far worse than an arrogant, selfish git lol I really do not like him at all. Legolas was obviously just going for looks :) I am pleased you enjoyed it, Fin x
Oh dear I laughed out loud so many times while reading this. Thank you for sharing this. I needed something like this to read and destress. I haven't read 50 shades of grey so I am wondering which are the parts from it, and I just can't believe so many people would love something like that. Oh Lindir and his muscles of steal and Legolas and his lip biting habit. Looking forward to the rest of this!
Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely review - I am so pleased it made you laugh so much. I followed the plot pretty closely. The lip biting is definitely from the book, I believe it was mentioned nearly every page lol More coming soon, Fin x
He unlocks the door with a big, iron key. As he inserts it into the lock I feel a quiver in my groin as the analogy strikes home.
Thank you so much for writing this so I don't have to read the real thing :)
Author's Response: You are most welcome! No one should have to read the real thing lol I am pleased you are enjoying the story, Fin xx
If I were a lady my breasts would be heaving with anticipation at what this could mean, instead I have to make do with my cock expanding against my leggings.Oh Legolas (shakes head sadly) you are such a sex addict. How can that be?!!!
Author's Response: Legolas is a virgin - he would give his eye teeth to be a sex addict lol I am pleased you enjoyed it, Fin x
Only you could write this!!! Lovely bonkers pervy person xxx
Author's Response: That's what the person who ran the challenge though - she said as soon as she saw it she knew that only I could do it lol I am pleased you enjoyed it, Fin x
Oh dear- I am getting a very dim view of the writing in 50 shades- HOW can it have been such a success!!! Argh! Banal conversation -but oh, you subverted is so nicely with the oliphants! Made me chuckle.
Author's Response: If anything I have done her a favour by showing how good that appalling book could have been lololol Oliphaunts lift everything lol Thank you for your comment. I am pleased you enjoyed it, Fin x
I think this is one of my favourite lines:
His voice is like silken cream, crossed with molten chocolate, vanilla cookies, fruit cake, and a hint of dark brown syrup with a cherry on top.
But there are so many it's hard to choose. I'm relieved to hear you didn't actually have to read the whole book :)
Author's Response: I don't think I could have read the book lol I tried once - I was in Tesco's and picked it up; it was unreadable. I have wondered since what Lindir's voice must sound like when compared to all those food stuffs - at least he didn't have a voice like chicken bones and potatoes, which is one line of description I considered lol Thank you for your lovely comment, Fin x
Made me chuckle - I haven't and will NEVER read 50 shades but I get the gist. It's the very worst fanfic I am sure. Love that you have got the style off to a tee!
Author's Response: I tried to make the writing as bad as the book but failed miserably. More fun to come! Thank you for your lovely comment. I am pleased you enjoyed it, Fin x