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Shoutbox

Ysilme
09/21/17 01:12 pm
Good to hear, NelyafinweFeanorion! :D
NelyafinweFeanorion
09/19/17 04:20 am
It worked!
ziggy
09/18/17 11:05 pm
I always use arda-lambion and don't worry too much about the grammar! Life's too short:)
Narya
09/17/17 09:30 pm
Anyone know of a reliable Quenya translator?
ziggy
09/17/17 06:31 pm
Welcome FINALLY Nelyafinwefeanorian!! Hurray- you are here:)
Spiced Wine
09/16/17 10:25 pm
Okay, I hope it works. Maybe it was just some glitch :/ As I say it has happened once or twice before but goodness knows why
NelyafinweFeanorion
09/16/17 10:12 pm
I'll try again from this acct today and see if it works. Thanks to everyone for the encouragement and help and esteliel for the emails.
NelyafinweFeanorion
09/16/17 10:10 pm
I tried last night and it didn't work. I created another account name and tried that and that story posted. At least I think it did--I see it up there on the most recent. I'll try this accoun
Spiced Wine
09/16/17 10:36 am
The only thing I can think to do is for esteliel or myself to use your password, log in and post your first chapter. I believe the last time this happened it's what I did.
Spiced Wine
09/16/17 10:34 am
What did esteliel say, Nelyafinwe?
Shout Archive



Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: August 29, 2017 12:53 · For: Chapter 17
This has got to be one of most wonderfully written chapters.

Little Curufinwe is absolutely gorgeous!

His relationship with his grandfather, beautifully described in the scene where he runs to Feanor, yelling 'Papa, Papa!' and is lifted up on Feanor's boot, then tossed into the air squealing with joy and excitement.
I have to feel sorry for Curufin at this point; Feanor is such a natural with children. Whereas Curufin lacks a huge amount of confidence born of his mother's abandonment.

When Caranthir enters the scene a little toward the end, he brings a whole new dimension to this section of the chapter, not to mention a new set of dynamics in relation to Curufinwe. Curufinwe is not sure how to take Caranthir, I guess because of his explosive nature and is a little frightened of his Uncle in that regard. But their interaction is priceless, as if little Curufinwe has come to understand his abrupt uncle a little.

I love Caranthir and you write him beautifully!

An awesome chapter full of fantastic imagery! :)


Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: August 20, 2017 7:39 · For: Chapter 16
I really enjoyed this chapter.

Reading this chapter made me wish Feanor was my father. So perfect, so loving, so understanding so protective and everything in between. Especially when helping Curufin with baby Curufinwe.

Oh my god, the imagery in that part of the chapter, so beautiful, it is beyond words, Encairion. You truly are quite a master at writing, conveying the message and the emotion. You have this ability to make a character so real.

I am lost for words. :D


Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2017 4:11 · For: Chapter 15
I love your Feanor, Encairion, never lets anything pass him by without the proper scrutiny. Including Irime; no lost love there.

Finarfin, now I'm starting to understand the earlier story on him.
An extremely sensitive person who is verbally and emotionally abused by his mother. Yet he and Feanor have struck up a tentative friendship under the foundations of common ground. It was so different to see Feanor being civil if not friendly with his youngest brother. So refreshing.

I felt particularly saddened by Maedhros though, still at Fingon's side, hoping, praying, Fingon might turn around and say, "I love you," does not look promising. And so Maedhros' heart is slowly being broken. I had a few tears over this because I could really feel the emotion in this part. Sniff!

I have to say, I sit on the edge of my seat when Feanor and Fingolfin have any interaction. Riveting and so beautiful to see, underneath all the animosity, they're still in love with each other and lusting after each other.

The Melkor scene, so awesome! Especially adding the part where Melkor drops his glass and no one in the room seems to notice just to show Feanor they're wrapped in an enchantment, locking everyone else out that he, {Melkor} is in control of the situation and Feanor and hoping it would make Feanor uneasy. Love it!

A great read! :D


Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: August 03, 2017 11:43 · For: Chapter 14
Wow! Curufin needs a lot of reassurance. Such a sensitive child.
It is so interesting to read how Curufin goes from being a vulnerable 12yo in this chapter to the cold, calculating contemptuous Elf he becomes by the end of 'Secret language brother.' Of course we know why. Sniff.

In the part where Nerdanel comes home after a month with her father-I felt very disheartened and uncomfortable for Feanor.
I understand where Nerdanel is coming from; Feanor is exhausting to be around and the inflamatory remarks about the Valar and their laws can't be helping. But Feanor is Feanor, he knows no other way to be, but himself. What you see is what you get.

It's all so heartbreaking when Nerdanel leaves. The part when they are camping with their people, they all seem so lost and abandoned. Feanor in particular is quite shocked and hurt by it. I don't think he quite believed Nerdanel would leave him and their sons - he wouldn't!

Caranthir's confession to Feanor of his feelings toward Curufin, must be so agonizing for him. In 'Secret language brother' it was such a shock to him to suddenly feel desire for his little brother, that he balked at himself and thought himself a sick, twisted, pervert and therefore pushed Curufin away. It is so sad that he is tormented by this for the rest of his days - this war that goes on within him. He loves Curufin, but not dare put his hands on him, considering that part of him, disgusting.
Such an awesome read, Encairion, and you go so deep into the characters, fantastic! :)


Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: July 28, 2017 13:33 · For: Chapter 13
Oh dear! Nerdanel and Feanor, their marriage well and truly on the rocks. They used to be such a team; Nerdanel the quiet strength and champion at Feanor's back and Feanor himself, the doting husband and father-a fire of dependability and protection at her side.They only appear now, to be together for their sons.
The whole scene of preparing for Celegorm's Birthing Day celebrations is so beautifully written, you could almost be forgiven for thinking Feanor and his family are just normal everyday folk having a barbecue and some beers with friends-not a crown Prince with his sons.
There are so many parts I loved in this chapter, but my overall favorite was Maedhros and Fingon standing underneath the Oaks together-Fingon in awe of his cousin and Maedhros in love with his. Feanor watching them both and deciding he should meet the son of Fingolfin for himself. Then later in Maedhros' room revealing he knows he's 'in love'and disclosing his own proclivities toward men, to allay Maedhros' fears of Feanor's acceptance.
Yay! Feanor is still in love with Fingolfin, otherwise why would he fantasize about Fingolfin, when taking himself in hand.
Oh, I wish Fingolfin would remember what happened so long ago in the library. So much misunderstanding, its torture!
Such a great read! :)


Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: July 23, 2017 13:23 · For: Chapter 12
I really felt for Fingolfin in this chapter.
With his mother constantly on his back nagging him about every little thing he's not doing right, in her eyes, to further her ambitions for him.
Oh my god! So not only do we have Finwe in one corner, lending no support or encouragement or even affection toward him, we also have Indis in the other, being overbearing and controlling. Poor Fingolfin!
To make matters worse she's now nagging him about his behaviour when in the company of Maedhros. Like Maedhros is a bad influence or something. He can't even have a bit of fun without his mother interfering

And when he wanted to drown himself in some male company, he still seemed lonely even in Maedhros and Maglors' presence, where they had the ease of brotherhood, which is something Fingolfin has never had. He seemed awkward almost, because of that. Like he just didn't fit in or was a third wheel, so to speak.
And yet even with all that is going on with him, he still manages to carry himself with a great deal of strength.
:)

Author's Response:

“With his mother constantly on his back nagging him about every little thing he's not doing right, in her eyes, to further her ambitions for him.
Oh my god! So not only do we have Finwe in one corner, lending no support or encouragement or even affection toward him, we also have Indis in the other, being overbearing and controlling. Poor Fingolfin!
To make matters worse she's now nagging him about his behaviour when in the company of Maedhros. Like Maedhros is a bad influence or something. He can't even have a bit of fun without his mother interfering “

Yes, his mother was every bit as bad of a parent to him as Finwe, just in a different way.  Where Finwe didn’t pay enough attention to Fingolfin, Indis paid too much.  I remember reading in another story, or maybe someone’s headcannon somewhere a while ago about the idea that Indis felt insecure in her place as queen of the Noldor, as she was not a Noldo, and always felt like she was being measured against Míriel and being found to fall short by a lot of the Noldor’s measurement.  I liked that idea.  So Fingolfin, being such a typical Noldor, is like her ticket to proving she has every right to the queenship of the Noldor, and that Finwe made the right choice in marry her, see what a strong Noldo prince their marriage produced?  Fingolfin is not only her pride, her shinning jewel, he is also the evidence of her marriage to Finwe being justified, even though Míriel could never be reborn because of it, and Indis was not a Noldo queen.

“And yet even with all that is going on with him, he still manages to carry himself with a great deal of strength.

Yes, that is exactly who Fingolfin is.  He may be lonely and depressed inside, but he is always going to be the rock those around him can depended on……until his end when he cannot stand strong any longer, and has no more strength to give.

 

Thank you, thank you for this review!!!!



Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: July 18, 2017 6:50 · For: Chapter 11
The first thing I would like to bring attention to is that, I would really like to be the pastry and the sugar, that Fingolfin finds so much more interesting than the Keeper of the Keys. :D giggle.
This chapter, I feel a little for Finwe, in his attempt to make Finarfin feel at home or welcome in Tirion. I know I shouldn't, but there it is.
And so Finarfin's living in Alqualonde, for reasons that aren't quite clear yet, really shows how fractured the relationships are between Finwe and his sons. Pretty sad.
Oh but Maedhros! He would have made a great King if the oath hadn't of gotten in the way. But if he had, Fingolfin would not have been High King in Endor/Ennor, and he made such a great King also.
Anyway getting off the subject; It is so good to see Fingolfin having someone to share court politics with, because he seems so very very lonely for adult companionship and Maedhros is so his equal.
Awesome! :)

Author's Response:

“The first thing I would like to bring attention to is that, I would really like to be the pastry and the sugar, that Fingolfin finds so much more interesting than the Keeper of the Keys. :D giggle.

Wouldn’t we all? :dreamy sigh:  lol

“This chapter, I feel a little for Finwe, in his attempt to make Finarfin feel at home or welcome in Tirion. I know I shouldn't, but there it is.

I was writing more of Finwe’s background recently in another story in this series, and I started feeling for his character like I hadn’t for a while….and then I remembered again how things went down with his parenting, and I felt torn.  He was such a terrible father, and caused so many life-long issues in his children, and yet, knowing what I know now about him (I will try not to spoil anything!) I can understand how he came to be the way he is in Usurper.  He still frustrated me, but I have compassion for his character, something I hadn’t had for a while!

“And so Finarfin's living in Alqualonde, for reasons that aren't quite clear yet, really shows how fractured the relationships are between Finwe and his sons. Pretty sad.

I can’t remember what chapter you will learn more about Finarfin and why he went to Alqualonde, but it is coming, and I would love to hear what your thoughts are on Finwe and everything after!

“Oh but Maedhros! He would have made a great King if the oath hadn't of gotten in the way. But if he had, Fingolfin would not have been High King in Endor/Ennor, and he made such a great King also.
Anyway getting off the subject; It is so good to see Fingolfin having someone to share court politics with, because he seems so very very lonely for adult companionship and Maedhros is so his equal. 
Awesome! :)”

Yes, Maedhros was born to be a king, but so too was Fingolfin.  I don’t think Maedhros will have much desire to lead tho when he is reborn.  He will have so much pain/regrets he has to work through, and the scars of where his leadership of the House of Feanor led them. 

Fingolfin needs a friend so baldy, you are right!  And Maedhros and he were good for each other….I have to stop here or I will spoil future things in the story :zips mouth:

 

Thank you so much for the review!  I love hearing what you think of the story.  It’s such a treat to receive your reviews :hugs:



Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: July 12, 2017 5:31 · For: Chapter 10
Another very sad state of affairs with Feanor and Fingolfin. I mean they can't even sit in a room together without acting like strangers instead of brothers or without pulling each other to pieces.

Just like Feanor, Fingolfin is also an exceptional Dad, well, except that Fingolfin does not have the underlining fear of losing his family that Feanor has.
Fingon and Fingolfin get on so well. Once again, you can't help but want to be a part of their family dynamics.
Fingolfin absolutely adores his eldest and Fingon makes it sooo easy to love him.
I especially like Fingon's first encounter with Maedhros. Fingon is all excitement and awe and larger than life itself and his cousin can't keep his eyes off him, so beautiful.
Maedhros seems to regard Fingon with the belief that Fingon is someone special and should be treated as such.
So fantastic!
I just wish the other two could sort themselves out.
:)

Author's Response:

Just like Feanor, Fingolfin is also an exceptional Dad, well, except that Fingolfin does not have the underlining fear of losing his family that Feanor has. Fingon and Fingolfin get on so well. Once again, you can't help but want to be a part of their family dynamics. ”

Yes, I love dad Fingolfin :)  And Fingon and Fingolfin’s relationship is really special, especially when they are in Beleriand.  After all, Fingon is the only child that stays at Fingolfin’s side.

I am so pleased to hear you liked Fingon and Maedhros’ first encounter!  And yep, Maedhros knew right away there was something special about Fingon :)

 

Thank you so much for the review!



Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: July 03, 2017 13:46 · For: Chapter 9
I really like the home life Feanor and his family have, although if you read between the lines, it's a bit sad. That Feanor feels he has to shelter his sons from life in Tirion.
On the plus side though, they have a very close knit relationship, and Feanor is such a hands on Dad, it just makes him so much more of a man in my eyes, even if a lot of it is borne of fear.

Melkor, what a slimy piece of work he is, thinking he can just invade the Feanorion family home and play mind games with Feanor. The audacity he has, likening himself to Feanor is laughable. The difference; Feanor has integrity, he does not.
Melkor's ploy to coerce Feanor into trusting his word via the situation between Orome and Celegorm, what a slime ball, {hello! Dark Lord}.
I love the awkward conversation Celegorm has with his father and just the little moments at the end where Feanor is changing nappies and talking to his two eldest sons, it just makes the story.

Love it! :)

Author's Response:

I really like the home life Feanor and his family have, although if you read between the lines, it's a bit sad. That Feanor feels he has to shelter his sons from life in Tirion.

I am glad you liked it!  But yes, you are right, he does feel he has to shelter them.  I think he had such bad experiences growing up there, he wants to spare his son’s that.  And really, court life can be brutal.  Some of this sons wound have suffered badly growing up there (of course there would have been some other benefits tho too).

On the plus side though, they have a very close knit relationship, and Feanor is such a hands on Dad, it just makes him so much more of a man in my eyes, even if a lot of it is borne of fear. 

I love writing the Feanorian family unit, there is just so much love between them :)  And I think Feanor must have been a fantastic father, after all, his sons displayed the ultimate loyalty to him (even if in the end they regretted swearing the Oath, and Feanor regretted bitterly ever letting them or swearing it himself).

I love the awkward conversation Celegorm has with his father...

Haha that was one real awkward conversation.  I just went back and reread it because I couldn’t remember how it went.  Gods, Orome deserved the pitchfork and so much worse! 

 

Thank you so much for the review!  It’s fantastic to hear you are still enjoying the story :)



Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: June 22, 2017 11:31 · For: Chapter 8
This looks to me like the slow downward spiral of Feanor and Nerdanel's marriage. :(
Oh, Feanor! He just cannot see anyone else's point of view. Only he is right, only his views are valid.
There are other freedoms his people have a right to {other then same sex relationships and the like}, that is the freedom to form their own beliefs and opinions for themselves. Surely Feanor would want that for his people too?

Finwe, what are you doing? Not discussing Feanor's duties as Crown Prince with Feanor, because you can't bear to deal with the consequences that discussion could render. As a result putting Fingolfin in the firing line for something that is not his fault. Fingolfin must think he has scapegoat tatooed upon his forehead.
All Fingolfin wanted to do was support his father in the Council of Lords and yet Finwe does not return the favor. Tut! tut! Finwe.
A great read Encairion! :D

Author's Response:

“Oh, Feanor! He just cannot see anyone else's point of view. Only he is right, only his views are valid.
There are other freedoms his people have a right to {other then same sex relationships and the like}, that is the freedom to form their own beliefs and opinions for themselves. Surely Feanor would want that for his people too?”

Ah, yes, this is probably Feanor’s greatest character flaw.  Right now, he still believes that only his views are the right ones, and he has so much trouble understanding other view points,  He especially cannot understand those Elves who are ‘blind’ as he calls it, and do not see Valinor/the Valar as he does.  I think he lacked adults growing up who treated his opinions as something worth taking seriously and debating over with him, showing him that while he had good points, others had good points too.  Instead he was brushed aside as a child and forever treated like one, never taken seriously, and so what he learned from that was that people didn’t listen to him even though he was right (and he is still convinced he is always right because he was always the cleverest child in the room and far clever than most adults, and so he learned that he was right as a child even if no one listened to him). 

He has a lot to learn still about other people and allowing them to have their own opinions even when those opinions clash with his own.  It is going to take failure for him to learn this, and he doesn’t truly fail until the events of the Oath and what happened after, does he?  He is still the most skilled in his craft and cleverest in the room, and has not yet learned that when a person has greatness they are the ones that can make the greatest mistakes.

Ugh, Finwe!  He never stops making parenting mistakes, does he?   I think by this point he is hiding his head in the sand from his mistakes and trying to pretend that everything is just perfect, yes everything is perfect, his family, Valinor, and Valar, all perfect.

 

Thank you for the review!  It is always great to hear you are still enjoying the story :grins:



Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: June 17, 2017 11:53 · For: Chapter 7
I felt sorry for Feanor in the Great Square. Pouring out his heart and mind to his people, full of passion for what he believes, only to have his Dad, intervene, embarrassing Feanor, if that is possible, at the least irritating his son for not letting him finish, which only inflames the doubts within Feanor that Finwe does not understand him or takes him seriously. Tut tut, Finwe.
I loved the sketchbook Fingolfin found with a naked and delectable Feanor within, great touch, or in Fingolfin's case, many touches.

My favourite part was the only thing to soothe Feanor's fire, was his son, Maedhros. Just the way you described him interacting with his son was so beautiful, it makes Feanor come across as a very loving father, I guess he is trying to make up for the mistakes his own father has made.
I wish Finwe would allow Feanor to blow off some steam now and again, does he not realise the implications of his namesake, then maybe their wouldn't be so many arguements.
Yay! To Feanor for coming out!
That fear is rearing its ugly head again, the one where he believes no one loves him, that he will ultimately lose everyone he loves, which we all know stems from his mother's death and Father's remarrying. Poor Feanor!
Still riveted! :D

Author's Response:

“which only inflames the doubts within Feanor that Finwe does not understand him or takes him seriously.

Yes, this exactly!  Finwe interfering like that, cutting Feanor off, and then chiding him about something he’s passionate about not understanding Feanor at all, just plants more and more fears in Feanor of losing his father/his father never really understand/loving him for him in the first place.

“I loved the sketchbook Fingolfin found with a naked and delectable Feanor within, great touch, or in Fingolfin's case, many touches.

:snorts: naughty, naughty Fingolfin :D

“My favourite part was the only thing to soothe Feanor's fire, was his son, Maedhros. Just the way you described him interacting with his son was so beautiful, it makes Feanor come across as a very loving father, I guess he is trying to make up for the mistakes his own father has made.

I love Feanor’s relationship with all his sons, they are all unique in their own way.  Maedhros is special because as he gets older, we see how much he meets Feanor as an equal, until he’s as much Feanor’s friend and partner (in their goals and in raising the other boys) as he is his son.  And yes, Feanor is determined not to be the kind of father his own was!

“I wish Finwe would allow Feanor to blow off some steam now and again, does he not realise the implications of his namesake, then maybe their wouldn't be so many arguements.

Well, I think Feanor is actually not so off in his fears: Finwe doesn’t understand Feanor at all.  He never really has.  That’s not to say he doesn’t love him, because he does, but he does not understand him, and does not see what Feanor needs from him, or how his actions are plowing all these insecurities in Feanor.

Yay! To Feanor for coming out!

Yes!  In some ways I wish he’d come out to everyone, but it wouldn’t have been safe.  The Valar really would have used it as a weapon against him/to silence him.

 

Thank you so much for the review!  I love getting them from you, and hearing what you are thinking about the chapters :)



Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: June 05, 2017 10:18 · For: Chapter 1
Oh my gosh! Encairion, this is torture!
Just when I think something wonderful is about to happen,{sitting there, big smile on my face, anticipation riding high}, it all falls apart.
These two seriously need an intervention or something.


No matter how much Fingolfin wants Feanor, he seems very uncomfortable under Feanor's attention, thinks his brother is playing with him and making a play for power over him. So sad.

What's even sadder still is Fingolfin's belief that the attraction and desire only runs one way.
{Let's just blame Finwe}

Loved it! :D

Author's Response:

Oh my gosh! Encairion, this is torture!
Just when I think something wonderful is about to happen,{sitting there, big smile on my face, anticipation riding high}, it all falls apart.
These two seriously need an intervention or something.”

That pretty much sums up this entire fic lol  Yep, they are in serious need of an intervention.  I have no idea how I held myself back from writing one!  I had a constant craving to just sit them down and TALK (and then have sex lol), but I couldn’t see how cannon events could have worked out like they did if these two didn’t have a big problem with communication :sighs: They make me want to butt their heads together!  But I have never had as much fun writing as story as this one :)

What's even sadder still is Fingolfin's belief that the attraction and desire only runs one way.
{Let's just blame Finwe}”

Lol on blaming Finwe.  It is true tho that between him and Indis they messes this generation up pretty bad :(

Poor Fingolfin tho!  He cannot see that Feanor wants him back!  These 2, seriously! Lol

 

Thank you ever so much for the review!  It is always such a pleasure to hear you are still enjoying the story :)



Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: May 31, 2017 11:08 · For: Chapter 1
Wow! There is always so much to talk about in your chapters, Encairion.
Firstly, Dear sweet Fingolfin, who can't keep still, who gets bored very easily, who desperately wants to be counted an equal beside his brother, who fears being left behind and who believes Feanor has his father's favor.There's a heck of a lot for Fingolfin to live up to.
What's truly heartbreaking, is Fingolfin forgetting the promises they made to each other. Now as
both of these characters grow older, cracks in their friendship and relationship begins to show as misunderstandings sow hurt and animosity. And so the downward spiral begins. So sad :(
I did love how you made Feanor quite naive about romance and some aspects of love, probably because he's so obsessed with learning about everything there is to know about the world that other areas of life he has never touched on before.
That scenario with him and Fingolfin in the library, so beautifully done. I just hope that somewhere down the line their love endures and they get it together, but the way things look now, is not good.
Love it. :)
Did that all make sense? I'm writing this late at night.

Author's Response:

“Firstly, Dear sweet Fingolfin, who can't keep still, who gets bored very easily, who desperately wants to be counted an equal beside his brother, who fears being left behind and who believes Feanor has his father's favor.There's a heck of a lot for Fingolfin to live up to.

Ah, little Fingolfin, I am so glad you like him, he’s a darling :)  But man, oh man are you right, he has so much he thinks he has to live up to.  Feanor casts a huge shadow, and all the more so with Finwe drawing attention to every little thing Feanor does.  How can Fingolfin possibly feel adequate?  (Rrrrg Finwe!  I seriously think this is him trying to make up for all his mistakes with Feanor (not that he isn’t proud of him too), but it is making a host of new mistakes with Fingolfin!  That’s Finwe for you, planning issues in his kids that will follow them for the rest of their lives :sighs: )

“I did love how you made Feanor quite naive about romance and some aspects of love, probably because he's so obsessed with learning about everything there is to know about the world that other areas of life he has never touched on before.

Yes, this.  I see him as pretty socially awkward in a lot of ways, he’s just so much more intelligent than the people around him and has little patience, that he doesn’t spend enough time with other people and thus never learned a lot of social clues.  At this point in time he pretty innocent, which is not helping anything, because in his innocence and ignorance, he gets upset with Fingolfin for not remembering!  Oh the miscommunications!

“That scenario with him and Fingolfin in the library, so beautifully done. I just hope that somewhere down the line their love endures and they get it together, but the way things look now, is not good.
Love it. :)”

I am not giving anything away :zips mouth:  you will have to read and find out!

 

Thank you ever so much for the review!  It’s always wonderful to hear you are still enjoying the story :)



Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: May 23, 2017 10:38 · For: Chapter 1
Poor Feanor, its almost as if Finwe has forgotten he has a son at all. Although Feanor loves his father, they don't seem to have much of a relationship, and now Feanor feels abandoned and replaced.
Little Fingolfin so sweet yet very bold, I like how he is not intimidated by Feanor at all, which shows how mentally and emotionally strong Fingolfin is even at a young age, {telltale signs of a great leader}. He loves life,{fun-loving} which is in great contrast to Feanor's view of everything. Does that make sense?
I love the evolution of Feanor and Fingolfin's brotherly relationship.
They need each other so much; Fingolfin hanging off every word Feanor spills from his mind and mouth, loving every word and wanting to be a part of his brother's world and Feanor loving every minute of sharing his passions with someone.
I also love how you haven't sacrificed Fingolfin's character against Feanor's, making them equals in vastly different ways.
Fantastic story! :)

Author's Response:

"Poor Feanor, its almost as if Finwe has forgotten he has a son at all. Although Feanor loves his father, they don't seem to have much of a relationship, and now Feanor feels abandoned and replaced."

 

You are quite right.  I am afraid Feanor and Finwe's relationship has really deteriorated :(  Finwe should have waited to re-marry.  He really should have...and yet, Fingolfin was a companion for Feanor in their childhood for a time, and Feanor really needed that.

 

"Little Fingolfin so sweet yet very bold, I like how he is not intimidated by Feanor at all, which shows how mentally and emotionally strong Fingolfin is even at a young age, {telltale signs of a great leader}. He loves life,{fun-loving} which is in great contrast to Feanor's view of everything. Does that make sense? "

 

Yes, this exactly!  Fingolfin has a strong spirit that will not be easily trampled and will not bend, and he is such a natural leader.  He thinks about his people and how best to help them.

 

I am glad to hear you enjoyed Feanor and Fingolfin's brothers relationship!  And yes, they are equals.  Feanor may have a genius intellect and be the greatest craftsman the Elves ever knew, but Fingolfin has his own strengths that Feanor never did.  They complement each other, and really, I think they could have moved mountains if they had ruled the Noldor TOGETHER, each providing what the other lacked and their strengths complementing the other's weaknesses.  If only....how everything could have been different.

 

THank you so much for the reivew!  It's fantistic to hear you are still enjoying the story :)

 



Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: May 20, 2017 6:26 · For: Chapter 1
I really do love the father son dynamics in this story. Especially when Feanor refused to go to the Begetting Day Party. I loved and laughed my way through all his little manoeuvres to get out of going and Finwe's typical parental responses to them. Absolutely classic.
I think you've captured the true essence of Feanor, how most people see him so wonderfully, you just can't help but love him as a character.
I also like how you've portrayed Indis in this; the interfering controlling second wife. Inevitably leads to Feanor's abhorrence of her.
Awesome! :D

Author's Response:

“I really do love the father son dynamics in this story. Especially when Feanor refused to go to the Begetting Day Party. I loved and laughed my way through all his little manoeuvres to get out of going and Finwe's typical parental responses to them. Absolutely classic.

I am glad you liked that part!  I admit I lifted quite a bit of that scene from what I remember of my little brother when he was that age.  He was a highly intelligent child that was socially awkward which led to him hating leaving the house.  He used to hide when it was time to go all the time.

Right now, Feanor and Finwe’s relationship isn’t too bad (though Feanor defiantly picks up on Finwe’s struggle to understand him or have patience with him.  Feanor is a gifted child with a lot of insecurities, and Finwe struggled as a father to such a child.  But he does love Feanor).  I still think Finwe never should have remarried while Feanor was young unless Feanor expressed acceptance of the idea.  But in Finwe’s defense, I don’t think he realized how much damage doing so could do to Feanor.  After all, there weren’t any other re-married couples to learn from.

I am interested to see if you will continue to love Feanor as he grows into adulthood.  It seems to be about a 50/50 split between readers whether or not they like him.  I love hearing everyone’s opinion :)

 

Thanks again so much for the reviews!



Name: Gabriel (Signed) · Date: May 18, 2017 11:42 · For: Chapter 1
I absolutely adore your young Feanor. I love how you've written his genius, where he is side tracked by the inner workings of something or wondering how this or that came to to be and how his attention span is zilch unless its something he's passionate about.
His relationship with his Mother; so beautifully conveyed and the fear Feanor has of losing his Father because he has lost his Mother is so sad.
You are so good at describing a scene that the images they conjure are fantastic right down to the tiniest detail.
Really enjoyed this. :)

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for these reviews!  It’s always a treat to see that this story is still being enjoyed (it was my favorite one to write). 

Aww, I am glad to hear you liked young Feanor so much!  I confess, I have a soft spot for him :)  And I will never forgive the Valar for their cruelty (whether intentioned or not) that had them planting the idea in Feanor’s head that there was something wrong with him and that he essentially killed his mother.  My god, that is enough to mess any kid up!  I have major protective instincts towards young Feanor lol

 

Thanks again for the review!  It was a joy to receive :D



Name: Kalendeer (Signed) · Date: August 30, 2016 23:43 · For: Chapter 20

Are you ready for the most heartbreaking chapter EVER because seriously I am not.

Chapter 28!

Melkor's whispers is a touch I really like. If Fëanor put some of his spirit into the Silmarils, then Morgoth should have a litteral phone line to try and mess with him. Though with the state your Fëanor is in, that may well be his own mind playing games.

What I wonder is how Fëanor's followers can still follow him given his sorry state, unless Maedhros is *really* good at hiding this... and how much do his others sons know?

This chapter is very hard to comment because, I mean, what can I say? Fëanor and Maedhros are just perfect. This is one of the most painful, beautifully written scene I red in any fanfic. It's like you have been waiting to write this forever. Those last chapters are really, really good!

Did you do some researches about mental illnesses for this? If so, can you tell me what is Fëanor problem's?

The Palantir

Who in Mandos left that here, I mean a palantir is probably the worst thing Fëanor can touch now. Or anyone with severe depression (headcanon: Fingolfin died by palantir far more than by Morgoth).

Fingolfin

I hate this guy, I spent 20 chapters reading him being in denial and refusing that fantastic love story he could have had and he just decides to have it once it's not possible anymore. And now I'm sad. I'm really sad. He's even worse than Melkor not trying seriously for some Fëanope and I'm not even a fan of Fingolfin/Fëanor.

That being said this is a fantastic ending. Awesome ending sentence, a feeling that the story is closed, yet not really, and this is how a good fanfic should be (since we can go back to the Silm, or to the Price for the next acts!).

 



Author's Response:

Melkor's whispers is a touch I really like”

I am glad you liked it!  I totally think Melkor did it.  Feanor was his greatest fear (and desires lol).  I think he would have taken means to eliminate the threat Feanor posed when he struck Valinor.  He would have loved to have met Feanor in person, but I 100% believe he was strong enough to have lain a shadow over Feanor’s mind when ungoliant spread her darkness….or maybe he’d planted the seeds in Feanor’s mind long before in one of their meetings, and Feanor hadn’t even realized it?

“What I wonder is how Fëanor's followers can still follow him given his sorry state, unless Maedhros is *really* good at hiding this... and how much do his others sons know?

Yes, this is exactly what I think happened.  Also, while Feanor has these periods of really obvious madness, I think most of the time it wasn’t as obvious.  It was all going on in his head, and grew worse and worse over time.  But Morgoth was already messing with his head from the moment he killed the Trees/stole the Silmarils, and yet Fingolfin didn’t know quite how bad it was for Feanor until that moment in the tent.  I think Feanor’s followers who were closest to him knew that something was wrong, and were concerned.  But for those people they were the ones who loved Feanor best, and so they would choose to follow him out of love in the hope that he would get better (they probably thought it was his grief over Finwe, and hoped that time would heal the wound).  For the rest, Maedhros and his brothers ran interference between Feanor and his people towards the end there, so the common people didn’t know how bad a state their king was in.  Though they too loved him and his sons a great deal.  I think this generation/s that came with Feanor out of Valinor shared a link between lord and people that has probably never been seen again.  He had spent all those years with them in the wild, and they followed him into exhile in the North when it seemed like all the world was turned against them and no one was listening to their voices and their sorrows but Feanor.  They adored him.  And admiered him and respected him so much.  They followed him after the kinslaying and after the ship burning (though they were not mindless puppets.  I do think there were doubts and worries amoungst them, but they made a conscious choice to trust in their lord and his sons).  A lot of them (in this series) swore the Oath alongside Feanor and his sons in Valinor.  Their fates were bound together at that point.

In later years/generations, the bond between the Feanorions and their people started to fray, especially after Doriath.  (I don’t know if you’ve read The Price of Duty before, but it’s a look inside the Feanorions and their people’s decline, and you can really see how things start to fall apart).

“Fëanor and Maedhros are just perfect. This is one of the most painful, beautifully written scene I red in any fanfic. It's like you have been waiting to write this forever. Those last chapters are really, really good!

Thank you so much!!!  Writing that chapter….it took me a long time.  It was so emotional, and I felt this strong pressure to capture what I saw in my head (I had some really clear ideas of what happened), I am just so happy to hear how much you enjoyed it!  Often times what we want for a scene/what we see in our mind’s eye does not translate to paper, so it’s wonderful to hear how well this did :)

“Did you do some researches about mental illnesses for this? If so, can you tell me what is Fëanor problem's?

I didn’t really do any research specifically for Feanor.  But I would actually say that he has less issues then one would think.  He has his two main ones that seem to overpower everything else: his abandonment issues that he never really healed from as a child, and his paranoia.   The reason these were able to take overthrow his mind after he learned of Finwe’s death, is because of Melkor.   It was like Melkor took Feanor’s grief, paranoia, and fear of abandonment and blew them out of proportion.  It’s kind of like he put Feanor’s issues on drugs inside Feanor’s mind.  I kind of see it like they ballooned inside there, they dilated, expanding and consuming his mind….Like you know how a tumor in the brain puts pressure on the brain?  And what starts out as headaches and trouble focusing gets worse and worse and worse?  It was something like that.  It wasn’t a physical tumor on the brain, it was inside Feanor’s mind, tangling up with his thought-process and messing up his ability to think logically and his deductive reasoning skills, until everything was pure emotion, an those were a hurricane inside him from all the issues he had that Melkor was making a 1000x worse.

“Who in Mandos left that here, I mean a palantir is probably the worst thing Fëanor can touch now. Or anyone with severe depression (headcanon: Fingolfin died by palantir far more than by Morgoth).

Hahaha it is a bad combo :(  I really like the idea that Fingolfin’s death also had to do with the palantir.  I actually wrote in Vengeance that during the Battle of Sudden Flames Morgoth had found a way to mess with the Palantir, so no one knew what was going on, and Fingolfin was convinced Maedhros and all Feanor’s sons were dead because he couldn’t get through to them on the Palantir, and Turgon wasn’t answering, so he though Turgon and everyone in Gondolin had fallen too.  He pretty much believed this was the end, and he’d done this to his people.  He’d killed them.   (I need to stop now!  This is the second time today I’ve nearly been driven to tears thinking about Fingolfin’s death and how much despair he was feeling as he rode to his suicide!)

That being said this is a fantastic ending. Awesome ending sentence, a feeling that the story is closed, yet not really, and this is how a good fanfic should be (since we can go back to the Silm, or to the Price for the next acts!).

Awww, thank you!!!!  Can I admit I am kinda proud of how that ending turned out?  Not to sound arrogant :) Ah, I wish all stories could tie up so nicely!  (why do story endings give me such headaches? :shakes fists at rebellious stories that refuse to just END:)

 

Thank you so so so much for these many lovely and encouraging and challenging reviews.  I have appreciated your support so much.  Thank you thank you :::hugs:::



Name: Kalendeer (Signed) · Date: August 30, 2016 23:01 · For: Chapter 27

Chapter 27!

Hmmmmm Fëanor with fur. *purrs*

“My lord, are you well?”

They froze at the voice from just outside the tent flap.

Anyone who LARPed one day knows that tents are 100% unreliable, you could hear someone sneeze 100meters away with all the flaps closed. Look like whatever happens next Fëanor will NOT be able to "howl like a wolf" (sorry for making fun of Fingolfin's fantasies XD).

But somehow, somehow Fingolfin had had the power to hurt Fëanor, and had done so without even aiming to. He’d been furious with Fëanor, so humiliated and done with him, but he’d never thought anything he did had the power to do more than stir up Fëanor’s wrath.

Fingolfin I am 100% sure usurping someone's crown is going to hurt his feelings. This guy is so far in denial regarding himself and his brother, it would be heartbreaking if I wasn't already facepalming.

One thing I wonder is if Fingolfin made a mistake by leaving the tent, even if it was to get Fëanor's sons, because when he comes back Fëanor is "himself" again and he can't reach him. Perhaps if he had just said "I love you" at that moment, it would have changed everything.

But Fingolfin could not unspin time, he could only pull the tent flap back and step into the ruin of this darkened world.

Don't worry Fingolfin, you will have you fluffly AU fanfic with Fëanor all for yourself.

Fëanor swung his leg over his horse’s back, finding his seat with grace and power. The cloak spilled over the horse’s hunches, draping with the majesty of a ceremonial robe over a throne. The light of the golden jewel in the crown’s center flashed defiance of the darkness. Its light washed over Fëanor’s skin, setting it aglow and turning his cheeks rosy with health and his lips into temptation herself.

I can't believe Fingolfin's guards didn't see him. Fëanor and stealth are just so unexpected XD (and guards what were you doing his horse is just parked behind the tent dudes, did Fingolfin recruit Fëanor's invisible caretakers?).

Ok so Finarfin

Of all the reasons Finarfin had for leaving, I believe he did so because it was the only choice not to condone the Kinslaying, and Finrod is wrong:

“No, Father.” Finrod spoke up. “We had no part in the slaying of Mother’s people. We are innocent. We have a common goal with Fëanor, that is why we go to Endor with him, but we are not a part of him or his crimes.”

“But we are, Finrod. We became so the moment we silenced ourselves and followed him from Alqualondë.”

100% with Finarfin on this one. The ONLY way the Noldor have of "not being a part": choosing to cross the Helcaraxë while the ships are still available. As long as any of them still considers the ship, then they take advantage of the kinslaying.

Galadriel drew her eyes down the length of her father’s body, before settling on his face, her own holding her thoughts secret. “You would ask this of me? You, who I have spoken my heart to and know how it hungers for all that which is denied me here in Aman? You, who know even the lust for vengeance birthed in me as I walked between the bodies of my mother’s people?”

“Yes.” Finarfin’s voice found a patch of calm waves to ride upon. “Out of all my children, it is you I fear for most. Not because you lack any fortitude of spirit or strength of body, but because of that dark impulse you cradle and nurse like righteousness in your breast. I fear for the path your desire for vengeance will take you down. Return with me now, Galadriel, cast your ambitions and vengeance aside! I beg of you!”

I love Galadriel most when she is like this. Fëanor/Galadriel hateship is my fav with Fëanor/Melkor, because those two have such potential! It's like Galadriel went to sulk in Doriath because Fëanor died before she could murder him.

A bit puzzled by how Fingolfin blames Finarfin for leaving his children. I mean, they are adults, and they are the one leaving him since he should be the head of their family. He could have commanded them but he didn't. Are elves really able to let go of their parents, unless they are wrenched from them by life?

 



Author's Response:

“Fingolfin I am 100% sure usurping someone's crown is going to hurt his feelings. This guy is so far in denial regarding himself and his brother, it would be heartbreaking if I wasn't already facepalming.”

Oh Fingolfin.  He truly believes at this point that Feanor despises him and that Feanor thinks Fingolfin so far below him, that nothing Fingolfin does can truly touch him.  I wonder, for as much as Feanor can’t see who Fingolfin truly is anymore, if Fingolfin can’t see Feanor.  I think this false image of Feanor has built itself up in Fingolfin’s mind over the years to such a point, where Fingolfin now sees Feanor as something larger than life.  Not in the sense that Feanor is above reproach and is perfect, but that Feanor cannot be hurt by anything Fingolfin could do.  Feanor is unreachable in this way.

“One thing I wonder is if Fingolfin made a mistake by leaving the tent, even if it was to get Fëanor's sons, because when he comes back Fëanor is "himself" again and he can't reach him. Perhaps if he had just said "I love you" at that moment, it would have changed everything.”

Yes, I can see what your saying.  What would have happened if he’d stayed?  How much would have been different?  And yet….I am glad he went to get Feanor help.  For once he saw Feanor as a human being again.  I deeply hurt human being who needed his sons, and I think it was the right thing to do for Fingolfin to do whatever he could to help Feanor.  I don’t think Fingolfin believed anything he had to say would matter to Feanor.  He really had no idea :( 

Sometimes I just want to rage at these two or lock them in a room together until they actually communicate!!!!

“Don't worry Fingolfin, you will have you fluffly AU fanfic with Fëanor all for yourself.”

He needs it so bad after this!

“I can't believe Fingolfin's guards didn't see him. Fëanor and stealth are just so unexpected XD (and guards what were you doing his horse is just parked behind the tent dudes, did Fingolfin recruit Fëanor's invisible caretakers?).”

Sorry!  That was my bad in explaining the camp set up/guard rotations :(  I think, maybe, the guards were not stationed in front of Fingolfin’s tent, but rather the had a patrol they walked (I image Fingolfin and his family’s tents all being set up in a ring together).  So they paused at Fingolfin’s tent went they heard stuff going on inside, but Feanor was able to slip in when they were on patrol elsewhere…..I kind of think Elves don’t know much about warfare or guarding people at this point.  I think the guards were more a ceremonial thing/they were almost used more like errand runners or were there to stop an upset citizen from barging into the royal’s tents, but I don’t think the concept of like an assassin was something they’d ever thought of before?

AS for the horse…sorry again for bad explaining!  I didn’t think Feanor left his house outside the tent flap, that would have been too obvious like you said!  I imagined he left it in the horse corral a bit of a walk away, which was part of the reason Feanor had pulled himself together by the time Fingolfin got back (I think I explained a little bit better about the Noldor’s camp during this time in Vengeance?  Maybe not.  Either way, it was me being a lazy writer lol  sometimes I feel like I don’t do a good job with descriptions like this because when I’m reading I can be an impatient reader and want to get too the good stuff lol so I write with such a reader in mind a lot of the time).

Of all the reasons Finarfin had for leaving, I believe he did so because it was the only choice not to condone the Kinslaying, and Finrod is wrong:

“No, Father.” Finrod spoke up. “We had no part in the slaying of Mother’s people. We are innocent. We have a common goal with Fëanor, that is why we go to Endor with him, but we are not a part of him or his crimes.”

“But we are, Finrod. We became so the moment we silenced ourselves and followed him from Alqualondë.”

100% with Finarfin on this one. The ONLY way the Noldor have of "not being a part": choosing to cross the Helcaraxë while the ships are still available. As long as any of them still considers the ship, then they take advantage of the kinslaying.”

I agree with you.  This is actually a thing in Finrod’s story later in Nargothrond.  He has to confront the truth he’d been running away from for years: when he followed Feanor out of Alqualonde with the intention of using the ships too, he because a party to what happened there.

A bit puzzled by how Fingolfin blames Finarfin for leaving his children. I mean, they are adults, and they are the one leaving him since he should be the head of their family. He could have commanded them but he didn't. Are elves really able to let go of their parents, unless they are wrenched from them by life?”

Well, I think even after a person’s kids are grown, that doesn’t mean they stop being your kids and probably the most important people in your life.  You are right that Finarfin’s children are grown ups, and yes, in a sense they were abandoning their father (though I would see it more as abandonment if they had left Finarfin in Tirion.  Finarfin had started on this path.  He is the one who turned aside, I think.  But you do make a good point about him being the head of house, so, technically, according to Nodlorin culture, his children should have followed him when he changed his course).  But while they are grown-ups, they have just lived through the worst experiences of their lives, and are marching to war.  Fingolfin cannot imagine leaving his children at a time when they will need him most.

I think it comes down to Fingolfin and Finarfin having different priorities in life/a different way of viewing the world.  Fingolfin will always pick family first, even if that means abandoning his morals (I think he avoided thinking about the Kinslaying altogether.  It was done and could not be undone.  He had killed people.  His children had killed people.  But turning away now would be leaving his children, the rest of his family, Feanor, he could never do that).  But for Finarfin he will always pick what he believes to be right first, even if that means forsaking his family, friends, everything he’s worked for all his life.  He will always follow his conscious.  I don’t think either of them were right or wrong in their choice.  They made two separate decisions based on the way they view the world and their own morality.  They did what they both believed they had to do.  And I think that while Fingolfin clings to the belief that Finarfin abandoned him, them, until his death, I don’t know if he truly believes that deep down, or if he was so filled with grief and regret at the way they parted (believing he will never see Finarfin again) that he made himself believe that because he just couldn’t bear to face the fact that the last words he spoke to Finarfin were cruelty and not love.  He was Finarfin’s big brother, and he’d never, ever, been there for Finarfin when Finarfin needed him.  He hadn’t even told Finarfin that he forgave him, that he loved him, that he wished him happiness, at their last parting.

 

Oh gods, I am making myself cry over here over these two!  I need Fingofin reborn asap and these two reunited!



Name: Kalendeer (Signed) · Date: August 29, 2016 22:39 · For: Chapter 26

I am taking a little break from writing for Sultry in September! A bit tired, a warm cup of brew and let's go for chapter 26!

"Maedhros turned a glance back at Fëanor. His father caught it and communicated without need of words with his eldest. Maedhros nodded, and called his brothers to follow him out of the corridor with a flick of his wrist."

After I checked on Oromë, I reread the Fëanor/Maedhros scene in the Price of Vengeance. Creepy as it was, I felt Maedhros was really fleshed out as a character, THE character guarding Fëanor from everything. I don't know for how long he has known that Fëanor needs this, nor how much he really knows, but thorough the Revolutionary and the beginning of the Price, there always this one constant about him: Maedhros will give up everything if he can protect his father. I never go this feeling with Maglor or Celegorm; perhaps a bit with Curufin, though Curufin is too enamoured to try to talk against some shits Fëanor does, and much younger than Maedhros.

"How dare Fëanor? Fingolfin had damn well meant his words (in his own way) but how dare Fëanor dismiss him like some sort of liar, like something so unworthy of his trust?"

Ah ah (no I'm not going to bash Fingolfin I know the chapter doesn't end well for him).

Though at this point, *perhaps* someone should think about, I don't know, not having Fëanor as a king. It's so sad that Maedhros won't take this decision, because that could have saved his father if he had not been in charge at this point. I would vote for Maedhros as the new High King since he is the only choice Fëanor would approve of, but Finarfin may have been good as well.

"He stood above Fëanor, and his sex grew impossible tight with the shifted power in their positions. He looked down on Fëanor now."

I don't know why, but I always pictured Fingolfin/Fëanor with Fingolfin being quite the dom, and Fëanor kind of letting him do it because "whatever, sex is fun either way".

I bet Melkor is so very sad to be missing this, incestuous mad hatesex must be his favorite kink.

"He had fought against this moment of discovery all his adult life, for it would be the work of a touch, a turned wrist, a single look, to have him under Fëanor’s control."

Yay says the one who gets a boner from looking down at said Fëanor.

"Fëanor would not have used that power to cherish him, this moment proved the truth of his every fear: Fëanor sought to humiliate him."

Fingolfin is so amazing. Just how can someone with so much desire be so ashamed of sex? If he was Irimë I would get it, she is 100% of a problem AND acts on this with others, but Fingolfin always had somewhat good counsels for his sons... how can he be so cockblocked inside and not at all for his kids?

I am facepalming SO HARD! Because obviously, if Fëanor is hard, he must have started to getting hard long before Fingolfin ended up with his back on the table. Come on, Fingolfin, stop being stupid!

Fëanor is 100% creepy though. What I would give to know what he is thinking right now.

"Fëanor’s nails scratched Fingolfin’s back, Fingolfin’s fists pulled Fëanor’s hair, but little real violence was inflicted. No fists connected with faces or wrists twisted to the breaking point."

As a role-play game-master, I have a special name for this kind of fighting: mastery of cat-fighting. You have to have painted nails to be able to use this and 0 experience in combat.

Anyway this looks oddly like two people who don't know if they want to fight or fuck.

"Fingolfin would not admit how deeply the cut of that rejection sunk into his heart. Fëanor didn’t want him."

Alright Fëanor isn't fit to be a king, but seriously Fingolfin is almost as nut as he is. Anyway, Fingolfin, pulling someone's hair is a low blow, you did not deserve the kiss!

"Fëanor released him, rising to his feet without another word, and walked away."

Alright first no Fëanope and now that, you are crualty incarnated!

"(he would be vocal, Fingolfin was sure; but would he howl like a wolf, shout out in triumph, growl what Fingolfin felt like around him, or whisper that Fingolfin was perfect and beautiful and Fëanor couldn’t breathe without Fingolfin in his arms?"

I swear to you this is going to happen in the Formenos AU fic as a revenge, Fëanor is going to be the fluffiest lover ever AND howl like a wolf, it's going to be to terrible and Melkor will die from fluff indigestion.

I love the end's paragraphe because my personnal is headcanon is 100% this: Fingolfin did try to usurp the crown at the end. I think that in the light of Losgar and everything that happens after, this is something that will forever haunt him: Did my people die on the Ice because I tried to grab the crown? Is this my fault? Was I wrong?

And Maedhros handing him the crown, like: "Ok you wanted this, just take this, HERE and be happy with it and all the corpses it contains."

 



Author's Response:

“THE character guarding Fëanor from everything. I don't know for how long he has known that Fëanor needs this, nor how much he really knows, but thorough the Revolutionary and the beginning of the Price, there always this one constant about him: Maedhros will give up everything if he can protect his father. I never go this feeling with Maglor or Celegorm; perhaps a bit with Curufin, though Curufin is too enamoured to try to talk against some shits Fëanor does, and much younger than Maedhros.”

I am so happy that you felt this through the writing!  Yes :fist pump:  This is exactly how I envision their relationship.  Maedhros is very much the protector.  He can also getter really protective of his father when someone else is critizisuming Feanor.  He will total tear that person to shreds (with his words though!  I don’t see him as a violent person outside the battlefield).  It’s almost like the age between the shifted.  Maehros is the father and Feanor the son needing both Maedhros’ love and protection as well as his wisdom and at times chastisement.

Though at this point, *perhaps* someone should think about, I don't know, not having Fëanor as a king. It's so sad that Maedhros won't take this decision, because that could have saved his father if he had not been in charge at this point. I would vote for Maedhros as the new High King since he is the only choice Fëanor would approve of, but Finarfin may have been good as well.”

You’re right, that it would have been better if Maedhros had been king.  But unless Feanor offer him the crown, I can’t see him ever making the suggestion to Feanor aloud when Feanor is in such a dangerous place (not because Maedhros is afraid Feanor will harm him or something, but because he is afraid of what Feanor might do to himself).

“I don't know why, but I always pictured Fingolfin/Fëanor with Fingolfin being quite the dom, and Fëanor kind of letting him do it because "whatever, sex is fun either way".”

Oh, yes, I could totally see it going this way!  Especially with the issues Fingolfin has about control and sex.  I think that once they get to a healthy place they will be able to interchange with no problem, and I can see them both being in-control from the bottom as well.  I want them to have healthy sex, damn it!

Fingolfin is so amazing. Just how can someone with so much desire be so ashamed of sex? If he was Irimë I would get it, she is 100% of a problem AND acts on this with others, but Fingolfin always had somewhat good counsels for his sons... how can he be so cockblocked inside and not at all for his kids?”

I think you really picked up on something here.  Fingolfin does have serious issues with sex and control.  It is ironic that he can give good advice to others though.  But that’s so often the way of it, isn’t it?  Like, you can tell others not to be so hard on themselves, all the while while practicing self-deprecating thoughts ourselves.

Fëanor is 100% creepy though. What I would give to know what he is thinking right now.”

I am actually gal to hear he came off this way!  Cause this is not normal for him at all.  Sure, Fingolfin and him fought before, but never like this (and I don’t just mean because it never got as physical as this.  But rather that it had never been a GAME to Feanor before, yet it feels like he’s playing with Fingolfin in the scene, doesn’t it?  The Feanor we’ve seen all throughout the story up till now HATES games and doesn’t play them with anyone.  In fact, it’s his believe that Fingolfin is always playing games with him and everyone else that he hates so much about Fingolfin).

“As a role-play game-master, I have a special name for this kind of fighting: mastery of cat-fighting. You have to have painted nails to be able to use this and 0 experience in combat.”

Lol!  That imagine! 

“Anyway this looks oddly like two people who don't know if they want to fight or fuck.”

Yes, this, exactly!  I am so glad this came through in the writing!

“Alright first no Fëanope and now that, you are crualty incarnated!”

I am truly evil :cackles:  You realize they never had sex in this entire story?  This whole story is 100,000’s of words of UST between these two.  :evil laughs:

“I swear to you this is going to happen in the Formenos AU fic as a revenge, Fëanor is going to be the fluffiest lover ever AND howl like a wolf, it's going to be to terrible and Melkor will die from fluff indigestion.”

OMG< the howling like a wolf thing!  I am dying of laughter!  And it would be awesome if you made this a thing!   I can 100% see Feanor howl during sex :snorts:  But I also think he’s unpredictable, and if he howled once, Fingolfin will never get to hear it again lol!

“I love the end's paragraphe because my personnal is headcanon is 100% this: Fingolfin did try to usurp the crown at the end. I think that in the light of Losgar and everything that happens after, this is something that will forever haunt him: Did my people die on the Ice because I tried to grab the crown? Is this my fault? Was I wrong?”

Oh the self-blame!  Yes, I completely see Fingolfin blaming himself for this, and the Ice, for the rest of his life.  In fact, I think that self-blame, that inability to forgive himself, were major players in his suicide (as were the grief he never, ever got over for Feanor’s death).

 

Thank you so much for the review!  It had me smiling :)



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: August 27, 2016 18:44 · For: Chapter 28
As you can probably tell from my lack of posting lately, I’m not feeling very confident in my writing skills at the moment, so it really means a lot to me to hear you say these nice things.

I want to tell you truthfully that you should worry about nothing on that score. Nothing.

A good quote I read about writing was that you should write as if it's just for one person that's going to read it because no write can hope to write for every possible reader. Just one person. So I imagine I'm writing for some-one who understands my characters and knows where they (and I) are coming from. We can't afford to second-guess everyone's reaction to our writing and write in the hope to please every single person. When I read that quote I realized how very true it was. I can't write what every-one wants and I'll never try to again. It has made it a lot easier.

However, you have a power within you hen it comes to write, so much passion and pain, that you're absolutely tailor-made to write what you are writing!

Author's Response:

A good quote I read about writing was that you should write as if it's just for one person that's going to read it because no write can hope to write for every possible reader. Just one person. So I imagine I'm writing for some-one who understands my characters and knows where they (and I) are coming from. We can't afford to second-guess everyone's reaction to our writing and write in the hope to please every single person. When I read that quote I realized how very true it was. I can't write what every-one wants and I'll never try to again. It has made it a lot easier.

I’d never heard this before, but it’s really good advise!  I think I do struggle with thinking too much sometimes about my audience (though when I am writing fan fiction it’s not nearly so bad as when I am trying to write O-fics.  Then I get writing blocks because it’s so bad lol).  I am going to take it to heart.  I am determined! 

Thank you for these words of encouragement!  I feel like they are already helping me (I started editing the next chapter for one of my stories, so that’s the first step!)

 

:::hugs::::



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: August 22, 2016 16:23 · For: Chapter 28
It was Fanfic Writers Appreciation Day yesterday, but I was away for the weekend, and didn't have time to do much, so I am going to use this week to do it :)

First of all. I suppose I felt that you really spread your wings and launched with fire when you started Vengeance I. In that story you laid a truly remarkable groundwork for -- everything. It is one of those stories that makes me love and hate people, which I need as a reader, because I like to feel every story is an adventure, with the good and bad parts.

Your writing develops in such powerful ways in that story. It's spellbinding. You're dealing with some of the most famous and intense characters in Tolkien's legendarium and it feels as if it is completely effortless.

I will forever thank you for the writing you have done, the writing I hope you will do, as I so want to see these wonderful, tragic characters reunited, even though it's almost bound to be just as traumatic and chaotic as before they died.

There is something so incredible about reading stories you've always wanted to read; nothing comes close. So thank you so, so much

Author's Response:

I felt that you really spread your wings and launched with fire when you started Vengeance I. In that story you laid a truly remarkable groundwork for -- everything. It is one of those stories that makes me love and hate people, which I need as a reader, because I like to feel every story is an adventure, with the good and bad parts. 

Awe, thank you!  Vengeance 1….there are so many things I would do differently if I re-wrote it, but at the same time I am glad I did write it.  I feel like I was just dipping my toe into all these epic characters for the first time, and I missed a lot of the times when trying to capture them, and I experiment with some things that didn’t always work out, but I am so glad I tackled them anyway (I used to be SO intimidated by Feanor and Maedhros.  I didn’t think I’d ever be able to write them!).

I will forever thank you for the writing you have done, the writing I hope you will do, as I so want to see these wonderful, tragic characters reunited, even though it's almost bound to be just as traumatic and chaotic as before they died. 

I want this too.  So bad.  There is so much writing ahead before we get there, but I hope by that time we do that I will a stronger writer and will be able to truly tackle their re-births and make it good for you and the other readers (and have it be an enjoyable time while doing it!)

 

Thank you so much for this review :)  It cheered me up!  As you can probably tell from my lack of posting lately, I’m not feeling very confident in my writing skills at the moment, so it really means a lot to me to hear you say these nice things.  And even more: thank you for always being such a support; even when I am not around, you reach out to me.  Thank you, my dear friend ::::hugs::::



Name: Kalendeer (Signed) · Date: August 02, 2016 2:24 · For: Chapter 22

 

Answers for chapter 22!

I’m really sorry for this late reply!  I’ve been out of town, and now I’m behind on everything :(  I’ll try to catch up quick!

Don’t worry you can reply whenever you want, a few days or even weeks are perfectly fine ^^

“[I haven't slept in forever, so please excuse the dreadful typos; also I may misread a lot of things or just have weird ideas, but I have such a need for your Fëanaro right now, let's do this!]”

I hope you had a nice long rest after this!  And an even greater thanks than usual for reviewing when you were so tired! 

I couldn't sleep because I wasn’t really feeling good, and I was 100% sure I would love my time reviewing to I’m the one who thanks you there!

About Elenwë and Turgon: I really like what you did with them. They feel very real, they have their own personality, and I found them quite relatable (even if Turgon turns bad down the line, in Valinor he looked quite human J ). So yep I really appreciated them, I do not think they aren’t interesting, they are just quieter than their very loud family!

I, like you, loved a lot of Lintamandë's and An Animal Imagined by Poe’s ideas, so I think it’s a wonderful thing that you were able to find them :)  I suppose I have a bit of a lax stance on borrowing/being influenced by other artists’ work.  To me, as long as someone makes a note about where the original inspiration came from, it’s perfectly find to incorporate a concept I wrote about.  We artists have being doing it since time’s beginning, and by this point there is nothing new under the sun. I suppose I shouldn’t always be so blasé though.  I just treat others artist’s work the way I’d like my own to be treated, but I realize other artists have different standards…..I hope I haven’t offended anyone by being so heavily influenced by some of their brilliant ideas.

I actually quite like the dynamics of this fandom when it comes to borrowing. We are writing work derivated from Tolkien (two Tolkiens for the Silmarillion), so everything is inspired in some way, but I get this feeling that we are a community of writers when I stumble upon shared fanons/headcanons. This, I feel, is one of the reason we write fanfictions: writing original fiction is a very lonely process, while writing fanfictions always made me feel like I am doing this with other people just waiting for what I’m writing? So when I point out Lintamandë or An Animal Imagined by Poe, it’s more like finding little marks in a treasure hunt. I get the feeling that these little pieces your borrowed are shared fandom tidbits, a feeling of belonging somehow?

I actually like that he kinda just fell through the cracks, because it feels to me like this is what he did in real life, so hearing that he had so little presence in the story is a good reflection of his story.  But I’ll be interested to see what you think of him on a re-read :)  I still remember writing that chapter from his POV after Elenwe’s death and how utterly destroyed he was.

I will definitely pay more attention to him on my next read, but I only read the Revolutionary and the Price of Vengeance (because then I felt so bad about not having reviewed yet and I wanted to review every single chapter so I just went back) and I wanted to read the Price of Memory and the Vanyarin Rebellion, so I don’t really know when I will be able to go back to the Price of Vengeance anytime soon!

Aredhel….I think I didn’t do a good job writing her the first time around (Vengeance 1).  I didn’t understand who she was entirely either….but then we see her from Maeglin’s POV mostly, and Maeglin is going to have his own biases, and he has been seriously hurt by his parents.  Aredhel wasn’t a very good mother, true, but she wasn’t purposefully neglectful.  Aredhel suffers from mental illness through the story.  Firstly, she is bi-polar, so that is the root of her erratic behavior, and I think she became clinically depressed after Maeglin’s birth, and may have continued to suffer from depression until her death.  In this story, Eol didn’t rape Aredhel, though he defiantly used magic to lure him deeper into his lands, but once at his house she choose to have sex with him (note: that is just this story’s interpretation of Eol.  I don’t have a set headcannon for him.  I can see him abusive, and that he raped Aredhel, I just wanted to try a different route with this story because I can also see how Eol, like Maeglin, could have been demonized by the Gondolin scholar (can’t remember the guy’s name) who Tolkien said wrote the Silmarillion).

I feel like Eöl is one of those characters (much like Fëanor) who can be used either as an evil character or a misunderstood one. Depends of the story you are trying to tell! I rather liked him the Price of Vengeance.

 I don’t think mental illness is common in Elves, and when it is present other Elves often don’t know the first thing about healing the person suffering from it (I know I read this for another author’s story/headcannon (?), and they did a really good job of talking about it, but I can’t remember who it was!).

I’ve seen this before but I can’t remember where either.

“I wondered at some point if Aredhel may not have been pregnant and got an abortion, or if she feared of being pregnant. Is this why she broke up with Celegorm?

(Warning: abortion is a pretty sensitive topic, and one I try to warn for beforehand.  But I think when we are discussing Elves and abortion we must remember that they are not only another race but a different culture than our own.  But it’s not my intention to force any of my personal opinions on the issue onto you, and I apologize in advance if you feel I’ve done so.  I am against one person trying to force another to their way of thinking about abortion).

Now this idea is one I’d never thought of before!  I kinda wonder though if Elves’ had a method of abortion in Valinor?  I don’t know if you remember, but Findulus aborted her child, but that was in Beleriand after Elves had plenty of times to pick those methods up from Humans….as well as the entire idea of abortion.  I don’t know if you read the Price of Memory or not, but I touch on this there too.  Pretty much: Elven women are deeply connected with their unborn children from the early stages of pregnancy.  They dream about them, and no doubt their fea can feel the fea of their child.  So I don’t think abortion was something that Elven culture really explored in Valinor?  I mean, if they could feel their child like that it…would have felt too much like killing someone, and their society had no real concept of death/killing another Elf.

I’m sorry that, I didn’t know the subject could be so triggering. I get your point thought and kinda agree with you (for elves).

Guilin and who the fuck are the princes from Nargothrond”

LOL!  You have no idea how much Tolkien Gateway was my BFF throughout those first few YEARS of writing.  I’ve gotten better now, but I still have to look things up from time to time, and there are plenty of time periods/people groups I know little to nothing about.

Your fic inspired me to go dig deeper on "obscure" characters, and Guilin IS an interesting case.

I can't wait to know who is going to be Gil-Galad's father, his line is so blury he could be Curufin's or even Celebrimbor's or why not, Fëanor reborn through Curufin sleeping with Orodreth's wife while in a threesome with Fingon

OMG!  Feanor reborn!  I have never heard that theory before, but now I am dying to read it!!!  Can you imagine if he didn’t remember who he was in his past life until after he died and returned to the Halls?  Oh god.  That would be soooooo good!

As for Gil-galad in this story, I wrote about it in Vengeance 1, but as I think you’ve read it before (?) I don’t think I’m spoiling anything: Gil-galad is Fingon’s son, and Galadriel is his mother!

… I actually remember that now that you are pointing this out (also Maeglin and palantir magic!). Look like I DID have some terrible memory holes that night!

Yes, I agree.  Fingolfin’s time as king was a long stretch of bleak grayness.  I think he was seriously depressed, and the Battle of Sudden Flames was just too much on top of everything else.  He couldn’t keep going.  I think the only reason he lasted 400+ years as king was because of Fingon.  If he didn’t have Fingon, I don’t even want to think what desperation he would have been driven too….I have this fear that he would have done something really rash that got a lot of people killed.  I think he was painfully aware all those years that this was a war they were never going to win, that the only way this ended was with them all dead.  He tried not to let this prey upon his mind, but it was only Fingon (and Guilin) who keep him from utterly drowning in the despair and self-blame that this is what he led his people into.

There is a very nice fic by ncfan called In the silence, about Fingolfin when he learns of his daughter’s death. Your take reminds me of this fic, the author went the exact same way :)

I too am sorry if anything I said came across as not appreciating the great deal of time you have gifted me with your reviews.  I am very very thankful that you took the time to let me know what you thought of the story in such detail.

You didn’t say anything insensitive, if someone was insensitive there it’s me! I should have asked you first if you were comfortable with this kind of comments. They seem very normal to me but my personal experience of commenting/getting comment isn’t the one usually experienced in fandoms, and it just hit me pretty late that what is normal to me may not be normal to others.

I won’t lie and say I was never distressed by some of your constructive criticisms.  But after I’d thought over them for a time, I was able to fully appreciate them and hopefully will grow from them.  I think I just didn’t have enough experience with constructive criticism, but I’ve gotten a lot better just from our (as yet) short acquaintance, so I thank you for this too.  I think taking a step back for my writing and seeing it from another angle if important to growing as a writer, and I am never going to pretend I am perfect or my work is perfect.  It does need work, so I really appreciate the fact that your reviews have helped me walk further down the path of growth.

I really did not want to distress you! Most of the criticisms are about my personal preferences, or how I relate to your story. Here I stress the I because I feel fiction creates some kind of connection. When I write, I feel like I am creating something that will be absorbed by the reader… and I really want to know how. What parts of the text does the reader like? Why? Does the reader have his own theories, his own headcanons about my stories? What parts are liked by the readers or not liked? It’s quite normal that some parts of a fiction are going to resonate deeply (because they awaken memories, buried feelings, various kinks…) while other won’t (because we don’t necessarily have a connection with everything in a story… even a story we wrote!).

I honestly never commented seriously before on any fanfiction. I always had the feeling that it’s not what people want (save perhaps “pro” writers like Dawn Felagund), and since the fanfic is never going to be published for money anyway, who cares? The forums I used to go to were dedicated to original stories and we all hoped to go pro, so of course comments were demanding and sometime hard to hear. These past months, however, I have started to feel more and more like commenting, and if possible, like leaving reviews that aren’t one-liners. I wanted to start with this fic because it’s the last really good, long one I read, and also because I feel you have so much potential as a writer, and your fic is so rich, it deserves the comments I used to write on those forums.

I do not think your fics are perfect and will ever be perfect, but I do not believe any book can be perfect. It’s simply not possible because people have a whole range of different tastes/backgrounds, so unless someone is your exact twin somewhere and both of you never change your mind about what you like, some parts are bound to resonate less than others. A “I liked that part less” does not mean you should change the story, unless you reread it and feel like you don’t like it either; but if you do like it, then it just means this particular reader resonates less than you do, not that it’s bad. There was a saying on our forum that would translate as “welcome any criticism but never agree to them blindly” (especially since I have zero legitimacy to tell you if your text is good or not, only what works for me and what doesn’t). An author is allowed to not agree with reviews and to not take them into account, especially for fanfics that will never be published for money :) Writing for free gives the liberty to do whatever you want without being accountable to a publisher.

When I wrote these comments I wanted to share the way I connect with your story rather than push you to modify things I like less. As a writer, this is something I really wish for. I want to know how my readers honestly feels about my stories, if it reminds them of anything they already read in the fandom, why they connect (or don’t connect). As a reader I also want to feel this connection to the author, to tell him or her what I feel, what I like, how I like the characters, those I feel like I understand perfectly and those who are still a mystery to me! Those I love to hate, those I want to protect, those I feel sorry for…

This comment is really starting to be way too long so I will stop there!



Author's Response:

“Don’t worry you can reply whenever you want, a few days or even weeks are perfectly fine ^^

Thank you!  You are too generous to me :hugs:

“so everything is inspired in some way, but I get this feeling that we are a community of writers when I stumble upon shared fanons/headcanons. This, I feel, is one of the reason we write fanfictions: writing original fiction is a very lonely process, while writing fanfictions always made me feel like I am doing this with other people just waiting for what I’m writing? 

Ah yes, I get what you mean about that feeling and this fandom.  It has a strong sense of community, and I feel like there is a lot of generosity and understanding overall.  I know that feeling of writing fanfiction and feeling like there are people waiting/anticipating it, as opposed to O fiction writing.  It’s that feeling that keeps me coming back, and makes O fic writing really unsatisfying lol

I feel like Eöl is one of those characters (much like Fëanor) who can be used either as an evil character or a misunderstood one. Depends of the story you are trying to tell! I rather liked him the Price of Vengeance.

Yes, I completely agree.  I don’t want to write off the way he’s written in the Silmaril entirely, because I do think Elves are capable of rape and domestic abuse, so I think he might have very well done those things to Aredhel (I also think it would explain Maeglin even more), but I also don’t want to ignore the way the Avari/Wood-Elves ect everyone but Noldor are written like in the Silmaril either.  I was more interested in exploring the latter in this story then the former (god knows I’ve got enough story lines dealing with some form of abuse or another….and Maeglin and Eol’s doesn’t escape from this either :snorts:  But honestly, even in Maeglin wasn’t a child of rape raised in an abusive household, I don’t think anyone believes he had a happy, normal childhood.  SOMETHING happened.)

“I’m sorry that, I didn’t know the subject could be so triggering. I get your point thought and kinda agree with you (for elves).

I think it might just be an American thing to be honest.  And I don’t personally find it triggering, but I try to be aware that it’s a delicate subject for a lot of people (at least people where I live :)).

“… I actually remember that now that you are pointing this out (also Maeglin and palantir magic!). Look like I DID have some terrible memory holes that night!

No worries :)  I forgot things about stories I’ve read all the time.  Gosh, I forget my own stories plenty of times too lol

“There is a very nice fic by ncfan called In the silence, about Fingolfin when he learns of his daughter’s death. Your take reminds me of this fic, the author went the exact same way :)

I might have to check it out :)  I don’t think there are many fics that explore this moment.  Poor Fingolfin :(

“You didn’t say anything insensitive, if someone was insensitive there it’s me! I should have asked you first if you were comfortable with this kind of comments. They seem very normal to me but my personal experience of commenting/getting comment isn’t the one usually experienced in fandoms, and it just hit me pretty late that what is normal to me may not be normal to others.

I understand.  And believe me, there are no hard feelings.  I really really do appreciate everything you’ve said, and I do feel like I’ve come out of it a better writer :hugs:

“When I write, I feel like I am creating something that will be absorbed by the reader… and I really want to know how. What parts of the text does the reader like? Why? Does the reader have his own theories, his own headcanons about my stories? What parts are liked by the readers or not liked? It’s quite normal that some parts of a fiction are going to resonate deeply (because they awaken memories, buried feelings, various kinks…) while other won’t (because we don’t necessarily have a connection with everything in a story… even a story we wrote!).

Yes, yes, this!  I feel the same way!  I especially like it when a reader speculates on what’s coming and comes up with this awesome idea.  Like writing fanficiton of fanficiton lol.  I do that all the time for abandoned, incomplete stories.  You are also really right about how certain things resonate with different readers depending on their own backgrounds.  I always find that interesting too to hear.  You know what I also love?  Is when readers find something really deep in the story you’d never consciously wrote, but just happened, you know?  I think that’s so cool :)

“I honestly never commented seriously before on any fanfiction. I always had the feeling that it’s not what people want (save perhaps “pro” writers like Dawn Felagund), and since the fanfic is never going to be published for money anyway, who cares? The forums I used to go to were dedicated to original stories and we all hoped to go pro, so of course comments were demanding and sometime hard to hear. These past months, however, I have started to feel more and more like commenting, and if possible, like leaving reviews that aren’t one-liners. I wanted to start with this fic because it’s the last really good, long one I read, and also because I feel you have so much potential as a writer, and your fic is so rich, it deserves the comments I used to write on those forums.

First of all, wow, thank you!  That’s a lovely complement :)  And I think you should really continue giving feedback on stories.  I know that a lot of writers can feel like we post into a void when we hear nothing back from readers.  I’ve been so blessed with reviews in this fandom who have stuck by my side all these years, but I’ve written in other fandoms too where it seriously felt like I was posting into a black hole because there were so few reviews.  It can get discouraging, so I think the more reviews and the more detailed reviews the better!

“I do not think your fics are perfect and will ever be perfect, but I do not believe any book can be perfect. It’s simply not possible because people have a whole range of different tastes/backgrounds, so unless someone is your exact twin somewhere and both of you never change your mind about what you like, some parts are bound to resonate less than others. A “I liked that part less” does not mean you should change the story, unless you reread it and feel like you don’t like it either; but if you do like it, then it just means this particular reader resonates less than you do, not that it’s bad. There was a saying on our forum that would translate as “welcome any criticism but never agree to them blindly” (especially since I have zero legitimacy to tell you if your text is good or not, only what works for me and what doesn’t). An author is allowed to not agree with reviews and to not take them into account, especially for fanfics that will never be published for money :) Writing for free gives the liberty to do whatever you want without being accountable to a publisher.

Wise words :)  I agree with you too that no story is every going to be perfect.  There have been plenty of fanfics and published workers I’ve re-written in my head….or more because that’s what fanfic is a lot of the time, isn’t it?  Welove a story, but sometimes there are things we wish had gone another way, so we write them that way :)

“When I wrote these comments I wanted to share the way I connect with your story rather than push you to modify things I like less. As a writer, this is something I really wish for. I want to know how my readers honestly feels about my stories, if it reminds them of anything they already read in the fandom, why they connect (or don’t connect). As a reader I also want to feel this connection to the author, to tell him or her what I feel, what I like, how I like the characters, those I feel like I understand perfectly and those who are still a mystery to me! Those I love to hate, those I want to protect, those I feel sorry for…

I understand where you’re coming from, and I do so appreciate the time and honesty you gave me :)  You challenged me, and encouraged me to look at the series as a whole, and even when I didn’t have the same thoughts as you, your reviews had me thinking about my writing and the story, and that’s something that’s really precious, so thank you again!  I hope my reply didn’t give you any distress because it was never my intention to repay your gift in such a way.

 

Thank you again :hugs:



Name: Kalendeer (Signed) · Date: July 30, 2016 21:55 · For: Chapter 21

I've just thought about one part of this chapter that did hit me back then (but it did. when I was driving.).

Maglor’s hands lingered in his hair. “There, that is better.” His fingers curled around Fingolfin’s nape, and he made a pleased sound in the back of his throat. “I think even my father would not disapprove of you if he had received a bedding like that.”

Fingolfin’s face closed. He pulled himself out from under those hands, stepping back to put distance between their bodies.

Maglor’s sighed like the wind rushing over the sea. “I did not mean it in a fit of spite or gloating.”

And now I wonder if Maglor knows about Fëanor and Fingolfin, or rather about Fëanor wanting Fingolfin and Fingolfin wanting Fëanor but none of them doing anything about it.



Author's Response:

“And now I wonder if Maglor knows about Fëanor and Fingolfin, or rather about Fëanor wanting Fingolfin and Fingolfin wanting Fëanor but none of them doing anything about it.

 

Ah.  I’ve wondered this too.  But in the end I think not.  If Maglor did know, I don’t think he would have approached Fingolfin.  It just would have been…weird to him at that point.  However, I think Fingolfin gave himself away in Beleriand, unable to completely hide his grief over Feanor or how deeply it struck him, and that was when Maglor knew.  At that point, I don’t think Maglor wouldn’t have cared that Fingolfin was in love with his father as a reason not to find escape with each other….in fact the connection (both loving and missing the same person terribly) might have even drawn him deeper.



Name: Kalendeer (Signed) · Date: July 22, 2016 11:18 · For: Chapter 25

Chapter 25!

One of the "first of the last" chapters. I read them not long ago and I seriously loved them. Fëanor's descent to madness and his family's inability to help him and Fingolfin's final understanding, and the certainty we have that they will be parted for such a long time...

Back to the chapter!

I love how long the Darknening is. The events often seem very rushed in fics, because they seem so in the Silm, and it requires quite an effort to give these events the time scope they had in the universe (well, if we make sense of the timelines, but some of them have 30 years going, even for elves it's not an hearbeat). Again I am reminded of Lintamandë's meta (and damn I love those meta, they are so enlightening, so of course finding the same themes in a fic makes my day).

"Fëanor did not seek Fingolfin out for purpose, he found that himself, but he did come into Fingolfin’s company. It didn’t take him long to remember why he disliked Fingolfin."

Just wondering if Fëanor was planning for an honest conversation with Fingolfin, like he had with Finwë at the beginning of the exile, and if the dislike receded during the exile or when he heard Fingolfin speak.

Finwë dying just when he's starting to pull himself back together.

Can't even start with Fëanor. I can't decipher he there is a spell working (Irmo go away) or if he is "doing this" to himself, but I read the last paragraph more like he snapped without much help from the Valar, appart from their utter lack of empathy (Nienna what are you doing? Where are you? Do you even exist or are you an illusion of Irmo created to make the elves think the Valar care?).



Author's Response:

I love how long the Darknening is. The events often seem very rushed in fics, because they seem so in the Silm, and it requires quite an effort to give these events the time scope they had in the universe (well, if we make sense of the timelines, but some of them have 30 years going, even for elves it's not an hearbeat). Again I am reminded of Lintamandë's meta (and damn I love those meta, they are so enlightening, so of course finding the same themes in a fic makes my day).

Yes, I am pretty sure it was one of Lintamandë's stories that got me thinking about the time frame from Finwe’s death to the news reaching Feanor.  It made a lot of sense once I thought about the great distance the sons of Feanor would have had to cross, even more so because in this AU I have them coming with their people as well, so there would have been a delay to get ready.  But I think it makes more sense for the delay to be then rather than have Feanor return North to gather his people before making his Oath/gathering the Noldor.   While the Oath didn’t happen the next day after Feanor found out about Finwe’s death, I think there wouldn’t have been a period of real clear thinking in there before he rushed into the Oath.

“Just wondering if Fëanor was planning for an honest conversation with Fingolfin, like he had with Finwë at the beginning of the exile, and if the dislike receded during the exile or when he heard Fingolfin speak.

Yes, I think that if he wasn’t actually planning to talk to Fingolfin, a bit of his resentment against him had dulled over the years of separation.  I know I’ve read other writers/other meta’s where the years of exhile turned Feanor even more bitter, and while I could see how that could happen, I think, especially with the way Feanor was written in this story, time away from Tirion with just his sons, followers, and father would have done him a lot of good.

“Finwë dying just when he's starting to pull himself back together.

I am curious to see if he gets reborn, and what he’s like if he does.  I haven’t decided whether to bring him or Miriel back yet.

“Can't even start with Fëanor. I can't decipher he there is a spell working (Irmo go away) or if he is "doing this" to himself, but I read the last paragraph more like he snapped without much help from the Valar, appart from their utter lack of empathy”

Interesting that you thought Irmo might have put a spell on him, that’s something I haven’t seen before, but it’s brilliant :)  While you are right that none of the Valar of Valinor did anything to him other then be insensitive pricks lol Melkor might very have :wink:  If there was anyone Melkor feared and would have wanted to take out of the equation, it is Feanor.

“(Nienna what are you doing? Where are you? Do you even exist or are you an illusion of Irmo created to make the elves think the Valar care?).

Ooooo, other fascinating idea!  I wonder….?  But in this story she does exist…though I question whether she is really of this world anymore….I think she might have withdrawn herself from Arda and to such a point Arda and the Children are nothing but a great weight of formless sorrow to her.  She grieves, constantly, but for who of what I am not sure she even knows at this point. 

 

Thank you so much for the review, and I have to apologize again for lateness :(



Name: Kalendeer (Signed) · Date: July 22, 2016 10:57 · For: Chapter 24

Chapter 24!

"Mandos claimed the banishment was on account of Fëanor ‘upsetting the peace of Valinor.’"

Ah yes, the famous "threat to public order" that allows the State to pass weird laws, rules and forbid stuffs for no sometimes no other reasons than "I don't know I just don't like it".

"He would not allow Fingolfin to usurp him in his father’s heart!"

Seriously at this point I think Fingolfin and Finarfin should leave with Fëanor and let Finwë remain with Indis and Irimë. Has anyone ever written an AU where Finwë remains in Tirion and Fingolfin exiles himself with Fëanor?

I love the Fëanor and Finwë scene. It's sincere, it's heartbreaking, it's finally something good and honest happening even if we know it's already too late. And Fëanor did this. If he was able to talk to Finwë, he would have been able to talk to Fingolfin, perhaps to become friend again with Nerdanel even if their marriage didn't rekindle. Of course we know it won't happen, but it could have and I have so much feels right now (of course lack of sleep makes me a tad emotional and Fëanor finally getting hugs, Finwë no being in denial for once, this is just too beautiful, go away Melkor no one wants you to spoil this).

"but Fingolfin could not ask Fingon to describe exactly what Fëanor looked like under the Northern stars, and if he smelt different up there where snow blanketed the earth in the winter season."

Also Fëanor with his black hair sprinkled with snowflakes, looking like stars on a night sky.

Fëanor with cheeks and lips pink from cold.

Fëanor snuggling his very cold nose and feet to warm them against the first person available.

Fëanor making snowmen that are hyperrealistic and unsettling.

Fëanor throwing snowballs at his sons and laughing happily like a child.

Also Ice is actually Melkor's thing so I don't know what to think about Fëanor and ice.

"Manwë’s face shifted, just a flicker, but there had been anger there. “An Elf not under the Valar’s judgment may indeed go and come as they please, though the Valar advise against venturing out in this dark hour, but you are not such a blameless one. The gates are barred again you, Fëanor, son of Finwë. Here you will remain until such a time as the Valar give you leave to pass safely from our realm.”"

Manwë, are you just making laws up as you go because that sounds like you do.

Fingolfin and Fëanor "almost hug". I both love and hate all those moments when you hint that something is going to happen, only to snatch them away. Damn the noldorin pride!

 



Author's Response:

“Ah yes, the famous "threat to public order" that allows the State to pass weird laws, rules and forbid stuffs for no sometimes no other reasons than "I don't know I just don't like it".

Exactly.  I don’t for a minute think that Feanor was banished for drawing his sword on Fingolfin (that entire thing should have been dealt with by Finwe and the Noldor alone).  It was always about the words Feanor said that stirred up the Noldor’s hearts against the Valar.

“Has anyone ever written an AU where Finwë remains in Tirion and Fingolfin exiles himself with Fëanor?

I don’t know, but I want this!  Please!!!!

“I love the Fëanor and Finwë scene. It's sincere, it's heartbreaking, it's finally something good and honest happening even if we know it's already too late. And Fëanor did this. If he was able to talk to Finwë, he would have been able to talk to Fingolfin, perhaps to become friend again with Nerdanel even if their marriage didn't rekindle. Of course we know it won't happen, but it could have and I have so much feels right now (of course lack of sleep makes me a tad emotional and Fëanor finally getting hugs, Finwë no being in denial for once, this is just too beautiful, go away Melkor no one wants you to spoil this).

You know, I really really wonder what could have happened if Morgoth had not ruined everything.  The Feanor we see who comes to the festival and meets Fingolfin again for the first time in years, is a bit different, I think, from the Feanor who was exiled.  I think he was probably mentally in the best place he’d been in for years.  He actually seemed to have responded to Fingolfin, there was that moment of maybe….but then everything goes to hell.  :sobs:

Also Fëanor with his black hair sprinkled with snowflakes, looking like stars on a night sky.

Fëanor with cheeks and lips pink from cold.

Fëanor snuggling his very cold nose and feet to warm them against the first person available.

Fëanor making snowmen that are hyperrealistic and unsettling.

Fëanor throwing snowballs at his sons and laughing happily like a child.”

Happy sighs.  Beautiful.  I laughed when I pictured this: Fëanor making snowmen that are hyperrealistic and unsettling.  He totally would!

Also Ice is actually Melkor's thing so I don't know what to think about Fëanor and ice.”

Ooooh, that’s interesting that you see it as Melkor’s thing….in fact he did make it in cannon, didn’t he?  Even though he loved the North, I’d actually always envisioned him more with volcanoes, sulfur, the deep places of the earth, the scent of them clinging to him.  He’s the kind of person who would burrow into the earth to root out all its secrets, and scour the far reaches of space, both because he wanted to understand everything and he’d be eternally paranoid that Eru or one of the other Valar were doing something in secret he had to find out about.

“Manwë, are you just making laws up as you go because that sounds like you do.”

Oh yes, it’s nothing but bullshit.  After all, this is the guy who claims he has a direct connection to Eru, and I don’t buy for a minute that Eru spoke one word to any of the Valar after they went down into Arda (and that includes the whole sinking of Numinor fiasco.  To me, that was the Valar playing their mind-games again.  THEY sunk Numinor, and then tried to make it a holy judgment by Eru.  Please.  If Eru was going to get involved in Middle Earth, he would have done it long before in my opinion.  Like, hello, Morgoth?)

“Fingolfin and Fëanor "almost hug". I both love and hate all those moments when you hint that something is going to happen, only to snatch them away. Damn the noldorin pride!

 

Sorry!  It is all their Noldorin pride though, isn’t it? :shakes head:  These two!  They need to be locked in a room together!



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