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Fire Dancing Upon Our Souls by cheekybeak Teen
Sequel to "The Hands of the King" AND "Darkness in Your Heart" Misunderstanding and heartache cause antagonism between Legolas...
The Condensed Silmarillion. (Which is not so short any more.) by cheekybeak General Audiences
The Silm you read when you are not really reading the Silm. Everything you always wanted to know......but missing all the...
Heaven's Reward Fallacy by mangacrack Explicit
In which Fingon struggles with life and never seems to get it right.
Where the Shadows Lie by ziggy General Audiences
Not only the Three survive Sauron's fall, and not all darkness is vanquished. Sequel to Sons of Thunder. Warnings: loads...
Path of Honor-Part II: Far From Home by IdrilsSecret Explicit
To avoid the scandal that is still following Rumil in Lothlorien, he is sent on a mission to Mirkwood. He must negotiate...
Our love was raw and young by mangacrack Explicit
AU. Maedhros cheats, Caranthir eavesdrops and Maglor is a political mastermind.
Not so Valiant not so Wise by Fadesintothewest Explicit
*EDITED (2015)*An unlikely secret night of passion threatens the relationship between Fingon and Turgon. One possible scenario...

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Shoutbox

Encairion
06/21/17 01:54 am
Hi Spiced, good to hear from you :) I am sorry things been weighing you down, and work piling up. I hope a chance to relax and do what you love comes soon :hugs:
ziggy
06/21/17 01:25 am
Lovely to hear you are getting back, Spiced!
Alquien
06/20/17 06:16 am
Hope you are feeling better now Spiced. ((hugs))
Spiced Wine
06/19/17 07:18 pm
I hope you're all okay my loves. Such appalling things going on the last few weeks :( I am overwhelmed by that and a work backlog, but trying to get that done to write again. Hugs to all
Ysilme
06/11/17 01:37 pm
Have a great trip and a great time, Naledi!
Naledi
06/11/17 09:19 am
Thanks! Maybe I'll be inspired - who knows?
ziggy
06/10/17 01:39 pm
Have a lovely time, Naledi- how lovely. hope you are inspired to write something for all of us!!xx
Spiced Wine
06/09/17 10:25 pm
Wonderful! Your are so lucky, Naledi. Have a lovely time. Have a great weekend everyone!
Naledi
06/09/17 07:20 pm
Happy Friday, everyone! I'm off on holiday to Pembrokeshire for a week but I hope I'll have internet access.
Spiced Wine
06/06/17 10:07 am
Thank you, Ziggy :)
Shout Archive



Name: mangacrack (Signed) · Date: June 23, 2017 16:24 · For: Chapter 36

My HEART. My poor, poor heart. I still fear for Elmírion's life, though he's fine ... for now. HE DESERVES TO LIVE. Annatar is not allowed to lay a hand upon him. It's good to see that even Annatar shies away from killing a child, even if it's for the wrong reasons.

Perhaps he has slowly grown a heart, but as we know it's not enough to safe either of them. Though Celebrimbor's death will break Mairon, leaving only Sauron.

Gosh, I really, really hope that Elmírion survives. Though, ... I don't really see it? As a Feanorian, he would not be the type to rest idle and there are no mentions of the twins having an older brother.

... Will he die in the Last Alliance, perhaps? There're so many possebilities and even worse than Elmírion dying, is the thought of Elladan and Elrohir never going to know their half-brother.

Hell, if you don't write it, I WILL. I swear to Eru, I will write the probably badly needed fix-it. Actually I might write something, regardless how this turns out ... if I have your permission?

Though I wonder what Gil-galad thinks? How are his feeling for Celebrimbor during this entire affair? Is Elmírion's existence public knowledge? Or will it die with the Last Alliance and Elrond's children will never learn of it? 

*tries to ignore all the bad stuff looming on the horizon*



Name: mangacrack (Signed) · Date: June 23, 2017 16:06 · For: Chapter 35

Oh my god, I can't believe my eyes! Celebrimbor is going to be a father. Or at least, I HOPE SO! Don't dare to harm the child, it would break me ... and Celebrimbor beyond compare. Though it's obvious someone had a hand in this. Annatar? I don't think so, is he powerful enough for this? Overriding the heart and mind of two strong willed Elves is no small feat, I believe it's more a Valar having their hand in this. 
But Celeborn ... you've no right to speak bad of your wife. You're no better than her. Though Galadriel would've tried to be a part of her grandchild's life at least, though her intentions and her influence might not do anything good for the boy. Still, I like the entire scenario. That Celeborn must face his less than perfect daughter, who suddenly reminds him of Galadriel again. Rebellious. 
I mean, how can he be disgusted by his own grandchild?!?! Celeborn! 
Though I like the development, since its consequences are going to stretch far into the 3rd Age. Regardless if the child survives or not. And it's not that unreasonable, though my headcanon always was that Tauriel from the Hobbit Movies must have Feanorian blood. Never got around in writing it, but always thought that Celebrimbor had to her father. With Thranduil's sister maybe. Though the important thing is, that the House of Feanor should not die out. It needs to survive. 
Personally I love stories, where cosmic balance is involved and with everything that has happened, I don't think it's good for Arda if the House of Feanor dies out completely. Even if Elrond counts (he should), it's questionable if it's enough. Looking ahead, how the Noldor will fade and how Elladan dreams of bringing the old times back, I don't think so. 
But Annatar still worries me. I don't know if he's responsible for the development, but he's capable for child murder. And worse. 



Name: mangacrack (Signed) · Date: June 18, 2017 12:05 · For: Chapter 34

I just love how Celebrimbor's longing for his family creeps up on him. That the littlest thing can trigger a memory, because Celebrimbor used to have so much family around him. Like with every breath he takes he feels their absence, a dark black hole in the back of his mind where his uncles should be. And it affects him more than others, the Feanorians were the Sons of Fire. His own is enough to keep him alive, but Celebrimbor knows he's alone. There's a difference between a candle flickering in the wind and the bonfire he was born into. 

As for the questions of "deserving" love ... can someone tell Celebrimbor  that no one deserves forgiveness? Either you've sinned through your actions or you're at fault for not doing something. But I love the friendship between Celebrimbor and Gildor. They're clinging to each other and it DEPRESSES me thinking that one day Gildor will be the last Finwion (4th Age) on this side of the sea. Not counting Glorfindel and Maglor, because they weren't in the thick of it from start to finish. 

In a way I'm sorry for Gildor. He's the eternal survivor. But when I think of his conversation with Elladan later on, I don't think he regrets it. Someone has to survive. Pass on the tale in a first hand account. Though Annatar is going to be a sore spot forever. For all those, who loved Celebrimbor. 

Yet I understand and support Celebrimbor's standpoint. An Ainur isn't an Elf, but they aren't inheritable evil. Given Eöwne's tale, Celebrimbor expects to have more such encounters in the future. If things go right (which they don't). And as a scientist like him, Annatar is a learning experience. An experiment and if he gets burned he knows what NOT to do next time. That Annatar is Sauron is something he couldn't have known.  

It shows us only that the majority of Celebrimbor's soul survived that he has still hope for Annatar. I usually don't support the pair, but I appreciate Celebrimbor's effort to pull Annatar back from the abyss  Cause he has seen his family fall into it. Has been there himself. I hope we learn, why it won't work. A bit of Mairon's history. 

I mention this because I've worked on a headcanon in the last months (read here  tumblr is a beautiful thing). I don't believe that Sauron went to Melkor, because he saw his cause as right and just. For me there's always coercion involved. Melkor overpowering Mairon. Raping him as he did with Arien (Who is his twin/very close sibling - it's my headcanon and I'm STICKING TO IT!) ... because I read Mairon / Annatar / Sauron as someone, who doesn't deal well with loss or trauma. No matter what he has done, his history is full of pain. At first he has to chose between Aule and Melkor, at the very beginning. Then there's the terrifying war and suddenly he's alone. Melkor is imprisoned. I wonder why Mairon stayed so fucking true to Melkor's cause? Out of fear, because no one would believe that he's a victim of Morgoth as well? I doubt Morgoth treats his own people better than his enemies. Did they fight, when they reunited? Was Mairon under the illusion that he had grown stronger in Melkor's absence? 

The hell, has Melkor changed in the time he spend in Mandos? Probably. 

God, the more I think about it, the more interesting Sauron becomes. How did HE feel, when Melkor was defeated. Right now with Celebrimbor he must reeling from trauma and loss, like going cold turkey, trying to get rid of an addiction. Regardless how Sauron feels about Melkor (rapist, mentor, father/lover or all of it together), he knows he's not getting him back anytime soon.

Given how the One Ring is a tool to control others, I think it speaks a lot of Sauron's own fears. For there's a difference between conquering kingdoms and completely annihilating them. Which was never Sauron's goal ... he wanted his enemies ALIVE. It'd be tragic irony if Sauron wished in the 3rd Age to rebuilt the "Golden Time" he had with Celebrimbor ... something he destroyed with his own hands - and he hates himself even more for it.  

+

As for Celeborn and Elrond ... I see it as clash of convictions. That age old dispute between Sindar and Noldor, what's the best way to act under threat. As Maglor's son Elrond would have little regard for anyone trying to hide away from his responsibilities. In my opinion that's why Elrond became such a reowned healer. He offered his services to anyone who asked and who needs him. Of course Maedhros and Maglor's pain are a part of it, that's something he could've never repaired, will never be able to. But he can help everyone else. His fathers haven't scarified themselves in a war, lost so much, just for him to throw it away by sticking to a narrow minded thinking.

Of course, there'll be always personal differences. But I guess through the Last Alliance Elrond learns to respect his father in law. There's a difference between a Telerin Lord and a warrior drenched in blood right next to him.

But that has always been the problem of the Eldar, hasn't it? There's never been a single force uniting them. Not even Melkor brought them together (or rather, far to late). Ingwe as Highking of all Elves is laughable.  Feanor is the only one who managed. Which just reinforces my standpoint that Feanor is MEANT to be Highking. Perhaps not the law-maker, but as the direly needed visionary. His sons knew that. The oath was the right thing to do, no matter of the Doom and Melkor corrupted it. Cause they've loved and followed him regardless of their blood relation.

Feanor just as to grow as the person that everyone else can see this as well.   




Name: mangacrack (Signed) · Date: June 11, 2017 23:51 · For: Chapter 33

In case you're wondering why haven't reviewed all the chapter already and am rather taking this slow ... your return has spurned me into a writing a new fic. 16k, almost done and complete au. I really shouldn't but it's just fun. If I'm not careful I'll be tempted to write my own Galadriel/Celeborn piece for this story. 
Somehow their situation just gets to me. Perhaps because their situation can still be worked out. Unlike all the other tragedy that is going to follow soon. Though I think Galadriel has gotten a little better. Saner, perhaps. I have the feeling she was hurting before and slowly working through a lot of issues. Celebrian just got caught up in it, which brings me to the realization that Galadriel probably wasn't ready to be a mother. Or still tries to fill the hole that is Gil-galad. Gosh, the day will come where either of them will learn the truth and that day is going to BREAK ME. I can imagine that Galadriel and Gil-galad are going to forgive each other one day. One day VERY far away in the future. 
And as much as I hate Annatar (GET YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFF HIM), I love how he brings out sides that Celebrimbor tried to bury. Longing for family, mostly. Oh how much does Celebrimbor hate himself for Nargothrond?! Everyone else regards this is a wise decision, a Fëanorian finally seeing sense but for Telpe it must be the day he hates the most? The day he'd travel back in time to, if he possessed the power?
But not enough ... Celebrimbor being torn about Elrond! I wonder about their relationship. How close are they truly? Are they able to give each other comfort? Or do they remind each other just of what they lost?
*loves Feanorian!Elrond so much*
I long for the day where Celeborn meets his ... cousin? Prince? His world is going to shatter and it's absolutely believable that they haven't met until now. War is messy after all and the world is being. You don't just run into each other. Otherwise I'm curious how Celeborn's plans are for a brainwashed lost prince of Thingol's line. In an ideal world, how would Elrond look like to him? I can see him almost supporting a marriage with Celebrian, because it'd be a good match. Draw Elrond back the line of Thingol by marrying a lady of proper upbringing. Also, Galadriel would hate it. Hate him even more for it.
And, though I know it's pretty far in the future and isn't going to appear most likely, ... Arwen spends a lot of time in Lothlorien, later. Just as Celebrian, who is attacked on her way back to Rivendell. It's interesting, seeing these relationship in the early stages. 
God, I'm glad I've still a few chapters left to read. 



Author's Response:

In case you're wondering why haven't reviewed all the chapter already and am rather taking this slow ... your return has spurned me into a writing a new fic. 16k, almost done and complete au.

Yay!  Happy writing!  I understand completely, I am just the same way when I am writing (which is right now, so I’ve gotten behind on my reading).  It’s just that I want to gobble up every spare moment to work on writing, you know?  But then I miss out on seeing all the fascinating and wonderful stuff everyone else is writing too! 

Lots of good questions in this review!  And a lot of things I didn’t actually plan to write in this story :face plant:  I am thinking about the inevitable Elrond/Celeborn meeting.  It happens, but in the middle of the war.  They either meet for the first time after Ost-in-Edhil is sacked, so while they are chasing down Sauron’s army, or else while they are marshaling for the Last Alliance.  Either way, Celeborn is going to come away disappointed, but he’ll have to get over it if he wants to be part of Celebrían’s life.  She has no patience for her parents’ dictating ways at this point.

Though I think Galadriel has gotten a little better. Saner, perhaps. I have the feeling she was hurting before and slowly working through a lot of issues.

She has learned a few lessons –like not to force her own dreams down her daughter’s throat—but she still has a ways to go.  The thing with Galadriel, is she doesn’t like to confront/admit to herself the mistakes she has made.  She keeps trying to face forward, not looking at the past, running, really, until she cannot run anymore.  She hasn’t gotten to the end of the road yet and been forced to turn around, and even when she does trun, let us see what happens.  I think facing ones mistakes is one of the hardest things in life, it is so much easier to keep making excuses and trying to justify one’s actions.

Gosh, the day will come where either of them will learn the truth and that day is going to BREAK ME. I can imagine that Galadriel and Gil-galad are going to forgive each other one day. One day VERY far away in the future.”

I don’t want to give too much away!  :zips lips:

“Oh how much does Celebrimbor hate himself for Nargothrond?! Everyone else regards this is a wise decision, a Fëanorian finally seeing sense but for Telpe it must be the day he hates the most? The day he'd travel back in time to, if he possessed the power?

Oh, yes, he hates himself for that choice!  He is tormented by the thought: if he’d not walked away, if he’d been there with his father and uncles, could he have helped save them from themselves?  Or, at least, he could have made sure his father died knowing he loved him.  He may never get to see his father again, and…and he doesn’t know if his father knows he loved him, and forgave him long ago.

Celebrimbor being torn about Elrond! I wonder about their relationship. How close are they truly? Are they able to give each other comfort? Or do they remind each other just of what they lost?
*loves Feanorian!Elrond so much*

Hmm…they are friends, but I don’t see their relationship as as close as brothers.  But Celebrimbor defiantly acknowledges Elrond as Maglor’s son, and his cousin, it’s just that Elrond has spent most of the Second Age in Lindon, and they only met a handful of times in the FA.  Gil-galad was able to connect with Celebrimbor in a deeply intimate way (and I am not just talking about the sex lol), Celebrimbor felt the kinship between them, all the things they had in common.  I am not sure Elrond has made the same kind of deep, abiding connection with him, though they do share the bond of family, so that ties them together.  They do love each other though.

Otherwise I'm curious how Celeborn's plans are for a brainwashed lost prince of Thingol's line. In an ideal world, how would Elrond look like to him? I can see him almost supporting a marriage with Celebrian, because it'd be a good match. Draw Elrond back the line of Thingol by marrying a lady of proper upbringing.

Well, I think he is quickly abased of his fantasy that Elrond is more Sindar prince than Noldo, and with Elrond’s bold, unapologetic claiming of the Feanorions…yeah.  Celeborn isn’t going to like that at all, but I think he has learned some lessons after Celebriain walked away from him.  He couldn’t bring himself to swallow his pride then, but he does love his daughter, very much, and Elrond makes her happy, and so I think he will support the match, even though he’s had to give up his hopes for Elrond.

Really, I see the end of the SA as a big growth period for Celebron and Galadreil, but one that doesn’t end at the conclusion of the Last Alliance.  They still have a lot of growing to do.  I think their relationship with Elrond and Celebrian is VERY rocky at first (you will see more why later in the story).  Elrond is a forgiving person who will not let hate destroy him, so he does eventually forgive what happened, but it can never be forgotten.  As for Celebrain…I have been thinking about her relationships with her parents, especially Galadreil, for a while, but…I think I will leave this conversation until the future, because there are some pretty monumental events to come!

 

Thank you, thank you for these reviews!  They got me thinking about these characters from new angles (that is something I adore about reviews!)!



Name: mangacrack (Signed) · Date: June 11, 2017 10:10 · For: Chapter 32

I took the idea of a ghost!Celebrimbor from 'Shadows of Mordor'. While I haven't played the game yet, the trailer features a wonderful Celebrimbor. With the ring wraiths around it's not that far off. If the rings feed of a soul, it's likely they trap the soul in order to prevent that it can't go on. Though I believe the original Elven Rings were meant to draw strength from their environment. Earth, Water, Fire, Air. But. There's always a but. 

With Celebrimbor's death the rings may have gained an edge. A price that needs to be paid.  Even worse ... Sauron is a necromancer. What if he didn't just torture Celebrimbor? What kept him from interfering?

Well, the dead House of Fëanor, I hope. But what if it doesn't work? How much power has the dead family in order to help their last living loved one?

But the chapter broke my heart AGAIN. I'm amazed by Celebrimbor's knowledge about the human body, but it makes kind of sense. So many dead people, Curufin would've never hesitated to cut them open and see how they truly work. Wasn't that Melkor's bribe to work with the Noldor in the first place? I can't remember if it was your story, in which Curufin (or Feanor) hated the fact that Melkor extensive but invaluable knowledge came from the Elves he tortured once.

Still ... the suffering Noldor and Celebrimbor's crashed hope that the reembodiment might never work ... I'm crying. I'm truly crying.    
And fascinated how our thoughts are so similar. I too stumbled over the fact (while planing the ever growing verse of insane!Maglor) that reembodiment can't be that easy. Perhaps not even for Námo. Evil or not, I bet the fëa has to largely figure it out itself.

Which reminds me, I've finally written the story about Fëanor bursting into flames and figuring out how the fëa/hröa business works. Is posted here on faerie and is called "The phoenix must burn." ... i hate self-promotion but in this case it just fits into the topic. 

... and now ON WITH THE OTHER CHAPTERS! Give me the heartbreak, all the heartbreak ;_;

 



Author's Response:

I took the idea of a ghost!Celebrimbor from 'Shadows of Mordor'. While I haven't played the game yet, the trailer features a wonderful Celebrimbor. With the ring wraiths around it's not that far off. If the rings feed of a soul, it's likely they trap the soul in order to prevent that it can't go on. Though I believe the original Elven Rings were meant to draw strength from their environment. Earth, Water, Fire, Air. But. There's always a but.  

I haven’t played the game either, but I have seen the trailer and have the general gist of what happens.  Tho I thought Celebrimbor trapped himself there as revenge?  How interesting/terrible if it was because of the Three that he got trapped as a ghost!  I wonder if he realized it was a possibility as he was making them?

Sauron is a necromancer. What if he didn't just torture Celebrimbor? What kept him from interfering? 

Oh, I defiantly think Sauron tried to keep Celebrimbor’s soul from leaving (and I wrote it like that in this story, you will see :grins:)

Well, the dead House of Fëanor, I hope. But what if it doesn't work? How much power has the dead family in order to help their last living loved one? 

I suppose it depends on if being trapped in the Rings diminishes the power of their souls, because, you know, if Celebrimbor was able to trap your Maglor with his full power, damn, that’s quite a weapon!  But if he realized what he’d done, would he use the Rings, or be too horrified?  Though if he was Dark!Insaine! Celebrimbor, I suppose he would.  But would the souls try to fight back?  Could they?  Would it damage/hurt them to be trapped/used in the Ring?  If it didn’t, would they like being in the Rings, feeling like they were fighting for something again?  So many questions!

“But the chapter broke my heart AGAIN.

Oh, oh get used to it!  I cry bucket loads while writing his story!

 I'm amazed by Celebrimbor's knowledge about the human body, but it makes kind of sense. So many dead people, Curufin would've never hesitated to cut them open and see how they truly work. Wasn't that Melkor's bribe to work with the Noldor in the first place? I can't remember if it was your story, in which Curufin (or Feanor) hated the fact that Melkor extensive but invaluable knowledge came from the Elves he tortured once.

Yep, it was my story :)  I kept debating with myself if it was realistic for the Elves to have discovered this much about the human body…probably not.  But I did originally want the Rings of Power to harness the power of a star, like be minnie stars, but that would have been ridiculously advanced, so I held myself back (maybe they can have invented that technology by the time Morgoth comes back lol)

And fascinated how our thoughts are so similar. I too stumbled over the fact (while planing the ever growing verse of insane!Maglor) that reembodiment can't be that easy. Perhaps not even for Námo. Evil or not, I bet the fëa has to largely figure it out itself. 

I always think it’s so interesting when an author I read writes an idea I’d been toying with too!  It’s like we are reading each other’s minds, so cool :)  I think the reembodiment process is tricky, yeah.  I actually agree with you that it’s going to have to be the fea that figure it out.  That’s actually the way I think it was meant to be in the beginning, and Mandos was never supposed to happen at all (at least in this AU, your Namo is lovely :))  I’ve got stuff planned too! (remember Caranthir, wandering around bodiless, refusing Mandos’ call? Yep.)

Which reminds me, I've finally written the story about Fëanor bursting into flames and figuring out how the fëa/hröa business works. Is posted here on faerie and is called "The phoenix must burn." ... i hate self-promotion but in this case it just fits into the topic.  

Ooo!  I’ll check it out!  I am a terrible reader and have actually read some of your fics on AO3 and not reviewed yet!  I promise I will soon!  (they were delicious; I think you know which ones I’m talking about :winks:)

 

Thank you so much for the review :hugs:



Name: ziggy (Signed) · Date: June 10, 2017 15:03 · For: Chapter 23

I've had to re-read the whole thing in order to catch up with the story now-Oh, the hardship!!!! Reaading this beautfiul prose, elegant descriptions and utterly superb characterisations (LOVE your terrible -in its real sense- Galadriel who does ont understnad or value the quiet socailisation as she sees it of women teaching women, but wants the masculine education of institutions and classics for her child. I love this whole discussion in this chapter- wonderfully thought provoking- and this divine Elrond, who has never seemed more attractive than he is in this!!

Fab.



Author's Response:

“I've had to re-read the whole thing in order to catch up with the story now

It was a really long time ago since I posted!  I have to re-read things too to get myself back into the mood of a story :)  Thank you for taking the time!

“eaading this beautfiul prose, elegant descriptions and utterly superb characterisations 

Thank you!!

LOVE your terrible -in its real sense- Galadriel who does ont understnad or value the quiet socailisation as she sees it of women teaching women, but wants the masculine education of institutions and classics for her child.

Yes, at this time in her life I don’t think Galadriel is at all at piece with herself or wise at all.  I think even in cannon we see her jumping around, trying to find a place to rule/impose her will upon, a lot in the Second Age.  She still is hungry for power and to rule.  I see her as a woman who has struggled so long (all her life) to be accepted as a man’s equal in a world where women are denied certain rights, the she looks down on women who ‘settle’ and ‘accept.’  So while she strives to be acknowledged as an equal of men, she looks down on the women around her as less than her if they are not striving just as hard.

“and this divine Elrond, who has never seemed more attractive than he is in this!!

Yay!  I love hearing this!  In cannon, Elrond does not interest me much.  But I think it was reading your story that first started to get me interested in him (and of course, you are the one who made me fall for Elrohir :grins:).  I don’t want to write a stuffy, middle-aged man that Elrond often comes across as in fic.  I want the son of Maglor Fëanorion :)

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review :hugs:

 

 



Name: mangacrack (Signed) · Date: June 06, 2017 13:36 · For: Chapter 31

"He would have said ‘I love you’ to Curufin’s back before he walked out that door in Nargothrond. He would have written back to one of Caranthir’s letters that he treasured and yet stumbled over pride and doubts whenever he sat down to return the words of love. He would have written back and signed his name Curufinwë Fëanorion, son of Curufin."
I was fine reading the chapter and than you pull something like this? HOW CAN YOU DO THIS DO ME? *cries unnumbered tears* I mean of course he has regrets. Celebrimbor probably never pictured his father, his family CAPABLE of dying. In Nargothrond he still could effort to chose moral and pride over family. That has changed. Now grief comes and goes and the second half of the chapter how much Celebrimbor TRULY regrets and blames himself. 
Because, ... who knows how Doriath might have gone with Celebrimbor still at his families side. 
Which makes Celebrimbor's experiment extremely interesting. It hit me out of the blue, because ... well he never succeeded. He never will? Or does someone else carry on his work? Gosh, this development cast an entirely different light on Annatar's and Celebrimbor's relationship. Or why Sauron is known as Necromancer. Ohhh, I bet the Ring Wraiths are not the first spirits who get trapped. 
.... now the question is ... what about the three elven rings? Do they have Spirits tied to them? If yes ... WHO? Celebrimbor himself, after his death? (which I've written already, so thats not that far off) ... other members of his family. 
* incoherent screaming in the distance!!!* 



Author's Response:

“HOW CAN YOU DO THIS DO ME? *cries unnumbered tears* 

Oh trust me, trust me, it get a WHOLE lot worse.  I defiantly cried unnumbered tears writing his story.

 “Ohhh, I bet the Ring Wraiths are not the first spirits who get trapped.  
.... now the question is ... what about the three elven rings? Do they have Spirits tied to them? If yes ... WHO? Celebrimbor himself, after his death? 

THIS made me scream too!  And then ran around trying to process all this goodness!  I love how your reviews spawn idea-waves in my head lol  I love the idea of the Ring Wraiths rings having spirits trapped inside them, YES!  It fits really well too, because the Rings draw power from an Elf’s soul (or at least mine do, I have no idea how they work in cannon.), but the Nine were perverted by Sauron, so they could feed on a soul until it is trapped inside it, and maybe that’s why the Ring Wraiths never die.  Because their souls are now trapped in the Rings they wear!  Kind of like a horcrux.  God, that sounds like eternal torment for them.  As for the Three, they are more powerful, so I gave them the ability to siven power from the souls around them (asking consent first!).  So, the bigger the populace under their protection, the greater their power.  So all of Rivendell is helping feed into the power of Vilya so that they can be safe under her protection. 

The idea of Elven souls being trapped in the Three is such a fascinating idea (and seriously dark, like Celebrimbor, what on earth were you dabbling in there? –tho I do think/and write that he learns some not-so-Light magic from Sauron).  And the thought that the souls might be his family….jeez, chilling.  I would totally read a fic with Dark!Insane!Celebrimbor dabbling in necromancy, trying to bring his family back, but ultimately trapping their souls in the Three.  :shivers:

 

Thank you so much for the fabulous review!  It gave me lots of ideas :rubs hands together:



Name: mangacrack (Signed) · Date: June 05, 2017 13:26 · For: Chapter 30

Reading this from Mairon's perspective is interesting. Though I always have to resist the urge to rip his head off. In some stories I believe he was lonely and messed up when his world views clashed with those of the Elves and he fell back into former habits. This Mairon though has bad intentions right from the start, but I love the way he judges people. How he just discards most people. I imagine he has a taste for fashion, grandness and drama ... a kind of confidence that makes the Noldor uncomfortable. I wonder if Gil-galad truly suspected something or if he just didn't like him. 
Mairon and Galadriel, oh that's good. He wants to break her, give her the throne she desires and turn her into a pretty, obedient doll. But Galadriel is nothing if not stubborn. To think that this struggle is going to last for nearly two Ages ... it puts the 2nd Ring War into another light. It's not a large unknown enemy they fear and have to fight. For Galadriel Sauron must be a daily thorn in her side. A chronic disease she can't get rid of. 
I'm so excited how the arc is going to play out (don't want to think about the end *sniff*) ...   How Gil-galad is going to fit into the very probable Mairon/Celebrimbor dynamic. 



Author's Response:

In some stories I believe he was lonely and messed up when his world views clashed with those of the Elves and he fell back into former habits. This Mairon though has bad intentions right from the start,

I was pretty worried that I wouldn’t be able to make him evil enough, and while I can get down with those stories where he was lonely and messed up too, I feel like there was some serious lack of ability to empathize or feel compassion in him that allowed him to do what he did, and I really wanted to capture that. 

“but I love the way he judges people. How he just discards most people.

Oh, yes, he does this, and it’s such a huge weakness!  It’s his arrogance and superiority combined with his belief that he is always right, so how could he possibly miss judge someone? :shakes head:

I wonder if Gil-galad truly suspected something or if he just didn't like him.”

I don’t think Gil-galad and Galadriel were able to ‘see through him’ in the sense that is implied in cannon (I think?).  I don’t think they took one look at him and knew he was Sauron, or saw his evil.  Rather, they didn’t buy his story, so they were suspicious of him and his motives (he was a Maiar after all, and none of them trust the Valar).  Celebrimbor was not exactly trusting at first either, but he was desperate, and reached out for something he thought could help him, and then…well once Sauron got a foothold, Celebrimbor was defiantly the most vulnerable, because he was in a really bad place mentally, and Sauron was able to take full advantage of that.

“How Gil-galad is going to fit into the very probable Mairon/Celebrimbor dynamic. 

Ah!  :opens mouth.  Closes it again:  I will try not to give spoilers :)  But I do have a few things to say on this when we get that far into the story :)

 

Thank you so much for the review!  I am excited to hear what you think!  



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: June 05, 2017 11:31 · For: Chapter 36
Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) Date: June 02, 2017 10:13 For: Chapter 36
' I think what I love the most about the Feanorions is their love. When you think about it, it is incredible that they were able to endure as a unit, as brothers united, until the very end. Not even the shadow of betrayal came between them. They never once turned their back on a brother to choose an easier road, everything they worked for in Beleriand for the survival of their family. Even the wrongs they did. And maybe that doesn’t make them justified, but it makes it impossible for me to do anything but love them.'

Yes, yes, absolutely. Feanor was a wonderful father to them, and that love was reflected in his sons, it was powerful, complicated, and magnificent and durable. With all the grief, and however 'difficult' some of that love became, as with Caranthir and Curufin, and Maglor and Maedhros and, tangentially Feanor and Fingolfin, it endured and some of the most heartwarming writing I have ever been privileged to read is of Feanor and his sons before darkness fell on them, it is like the memory of a fire in winter.

There will always be scars, because if they did not remember they would not be themselves, but nothing could heal them more than finding one another again.

The way you have written them just transcends any other writer, including Tolkien himself who gave the bare bones, no more. The depth and complexity, the passion and love and hate and loyalty are just beyond stunning. They live and breathe and burn through your portrayal, just as I imagine.

Author's Response:
“With all the grief, and however 'difficult' some of that love became, as with Caranthir and Curufin, and Maglor and Maedhros and, tangentially Feanor and Fingolfin, it endured and some of the most heartwarming writing I have ever been privileged to read is of Feanor and his sons before darkness fell on them, it is like the memory of a fire in winter. “

Mmm, that’s so true about pre-darkening stories with the Feanrions. There is such sweetness in reading those stories/scenes, even tho there is a sadness threaded through too because we know what their fates are. It makes the scenes all the more precious for knowing what trials come.

I think that ‘difficult’ aspect in those loves that thread through each other, brother-lover-friend, are some of my favorites to write. I love the complicatedness of it, and the enduring nature, even Feanor and Fingolfin’s love endured –under the surface—until the end, even when it seemed for a time to have been blown out. And there is something so beautiful and pure about Maglor’s love for Maedhros because of how unselfish it is. And again, the enduring nature of it, and the way it did not turn to bitterness. Caranthir’s love for Curufin has beauty too in those moments of softness and how enduring it too was, but there was also such pain too that it became an unhealthy thing for Caranthir because it pretty much destroyed him. And yet it also was one of the foundations of his life, and he could be so tender with Curufin who brought out a side of him others did not see. What they shared was special, and an essential of Caranthir’s life –he needed a friend like Curufin would never failed to make him smile. I just wish his love had not brought him so much unhappiness too.

“There will always be scars, because if they did not remember they would not be themselves, but nothing could heal them more than finding one another again.”

So true. I cannot see them healing unless it is together. Maglor can experience joy in the years he has to wait for them, but he will not be fully whole or healed until he is with them again.

“The way you have written them just transcends any other writer, including Tolkien himself who gave the bare bones, no more. The depth and complexity, the passion and love and hate and loyalty are just beyond stunning. They live and breathe and burn through your portrayal, just as I imagine.”

Thank you.



Spiced, you always give me such belief in myself as a writer, such encouragement. I cannot tell you how much it has meant to me over the years. I have been writing for close to a decade now (with a lot of on and off!), but I was just thinking the other day about the beginning, about To be Black and The Price of Duty, my first two stories, and remembering how the moment I posted To be Black on the old site, you were there welcoming me and encouraging me (even if the story was pretty clique looking back lol!). And I remember writing The Price of Duty in the dark –I was seriously depressed during that time, and it reflects a lot in the darkness of that story—and how writing was one of my only lights and what kept me going, and you were there walking through it with me, every time a posted a chapter, you would never fail to review and it would give me strength to write another. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend. :::hugs:::

Bless you. Sometimes when you read a writer, you are just overwhelmed by them. It's this feeling that you have found something that is completely satisfying. And it's rare.

You have the most superb use of imagery that Inhave come across, it's genius! and the courage and intuition to delve right to the heart of incredibly complex characters without fear. I am so proud of you, and so delighted to be able to read you.

Author's Response:

“Bless you. Sometimes when you read a writer, you are just overwhelmed by them. It's this feeling that you have found something that is completely satisfying. And it's rare. 

You have the most superb use of imagery that I have come across, it's genius! and the courage and intuition to delve right to the heart of incredibly complex characters without fear. I am so proud of you, and so delighted to be able to read you.”

Reading this feels ridiculous good :)  I am going to hoard your compliments away, and pull them out on days I doubt myself.  To hear how much joy and pleasure the stories have given you, is the greatest delight of a writer. 

 

This just makes me so happy!!!  :squashes you:  Thank you!!



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: June 02, 2017 10:13 · For: Chapter 36
' I think what I love the most about the Feanorions is their love. When you think about it, it is incredible that they were able to endure as a unit, as brothers united, until the very end. Not even the shadow of betrayal came between them. They never once turned their back on a brother to choose an easier road, everything they worked for in Beleriand for the survival of their family. Even the wrongs they did. And maybe that doesn’t make them justified, but it makes it impossible for me to do anything but love them.'

Yes, yes, absolutely. Feanor was a wonderful father to them, and that love was reflected in his sons, it was powerful, complicated, and magnificent and durable. With all the grief, and however 'difficult' some of that love became, as with Caranthir and Curufin, and Maglor and Maedhros and, tangentially Feanor and Fingolfin, it endured and some of the most heartwarming writing I have ever been privileged to read is of Feanor and his sons before darkness fell on them, it is like the memory of a fire in winter.

There will always be scars, because if they did not remember they would not be themselves, but nothing could heal them more than finding one another again.

The way you have written them just transcends any other writer, including Tolkien himself who gave the bare bones, no more. The depth and complexity, the passion and love and hate and loyalty are just beyond stunning. They live and breathe and burn through your portrayal, just as I imagine.

Author's Response:

“With all the grief, and however 'difficult' some of that love became, as with Caranthir and Curufin, and Maglor and Maedhros and, tangentially Feanor and Fingolfin, it endured and some of the most heartwarming writing I have ever been privileged to read is of Feanor and his sons before darkness fell on them, it is like the memory of a fire in winter. 

Mmm, that’s so true about pre-darkening stories with the Feanrions.  There is such sweetness in reading those stories/scenes, even tho there is a sadness threaded through too because we know what their fates are.  It makes the scenes all the more precious for knowing what trials come.

I think that ‘difficult’ aspect in those loves that thread through each other, brother-lover-friend, are some of my favorites to write.  I love the complicatedness of it, and the enduring nature, even Feanor and Fingolfin’s love endured –under the surface—until the end, even when it seemed for a time to have been blown out.  And there is something so beautiful and pure about Maglor’s love for Maedhros because of how unselfish it is.  And again, the enduring nature of it, and the way it did not turn to bitterness.  Caranthir’s love for Curufin has beauty too in those moments of softness and how enduring it too was, but there was also such pain too that it became an unhealthy thing for Caranthir because it pretty much destroyed him.  And yet it also was one of the foundations of his life, and he could be so tender with Curufin who brought out a side of him others did not see.  What they shared was special, and an essential of Caranthir’s life –he needed a friend like Curufin would never failed to make him smile.  I just wish his love had not brought him so much unhappiness too.

There will always be scars, because if they did not remember they would not be themselves, but nothing could heal them more than finding one another again.

So true.  I cannot see them healing unless it is together.  Maglor can experience joy in the years he has to wait for them, but he will not be fully whole or healed until he is with them again.

The way you have written them just transcends any other writer, including Tolkien himself who gave the bare bones, no more. The depth and complexity, the passion and love and hate and loyalty are just beyond stunning. They live and breathe and burn through your portrayal, just as I imagine.

Thank you.

 

Spiced, you always give me such belief in myself as a writer, such encouragement.  I cannot tell you how much it has meant to me over the years.  I have been writing for close to a decade now (with a lot of on and off!), but I was just thinking the other day about the beginning, about To be Black and The Price of Duty, my first two stories, and remembering how the moment I posted To be Black on the old site, you were there welcoming me and encouraging me (even if the story was pretty clique looking back lol!).  And I remember writing The Price of Duty in the dark –I was seriously depressed during that time, and it reflects a lot in the darkness of that story—and how writing was one of my only lights and what kept me going, and you were there walking through it with me, every time a posted a chapter, you would never fail to review and it would give me strength to write another.  Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you.  Thank you for being such a wonderful friend. :::hugs:::



Name: merwinem (Signed) · Date: June 02, 2017 9:56 · For: Chapter 36
I’ve discovered your Price series a few months ago, and now that I’m all caught up with the latest updates, I’d like to let you know how much I appreciate all the work you have put into these stories.

Of all your characters, the Feanorions are by far my favourites. I have to say though, the abuse you pile on them is so difficult to read. It’s somehow worse than canon.

Thank you so much for writing these fics. The Silmarillion is such a tragic book, and I am so glad that your version of the story will have a happier ending. Even if you don’t finish it, knowing that you mean for all the elves to be reborn and finally take control of their lives is enough.

Author's Response:

I’ve discovered your Price series a few months ago, and now that I’m all caught up with the latest updates, I’d like to let you know how much I appreciate all the work you have put into these stories.

Hello!  It is also so fantastic to hear from new readers!  I am so excited to hear you have enjoyed the story thus far! 

Of all your characters, the Feanorions are by far my favourites. I have to say though, the abuse you pile on them is so difficult to read. It’s somehow worse than canon.

I am torture them SO bad, and yet, they are my favorites too!  I can’t seem to give them a break, even after all they went through in cannon! 

The Silmarillion is such a tragic book, and I am so glad that your version of the story will have a happier ending. Even if you don’t finish it, knowing that you mean for all the elves to be reborn and finally take control of their lives is enough.

I simply cannot accept that death after all the torment these characters went through is the end, so I have to write them their happy ending. 

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to review and let me know what that you were enjoying the story :)  I hope they will continue to please.



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: June 01, 2017 11:28 · For: Chapter 36

Ah, so it WAS Annatar! 

You wrote him beautifully here. A raving mad psychopath. 

Chilling to read the internal workings of his mind. 



Author's Response:

You wrote him beautifully here. A raving mad psychopath.”

Yes, yes this exactly!  The death of his empathy turned him into a psychopath, that was exactly the conclusion I was hoping to leave!

Thank you so much for these reviews, and taking the time to read all this lol  Since Celebrimbor is not your cup of tea anymore, I will just have to drop the hint that there will be a nice, long scene from Galadriel’s POV a few chapters from now that you might enjoy :)

 

 



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: June 01, 2017 11:09 · For: Chapter 35

Oh! 

Well I didn't see THAT coming! However did you think of that?

I am slightly confused in that I don't know if Annatars senario is the truth and the Valar did do this to destroy Celebrimbor by having him kill his own child or if it was Annatar all along .....because.....well I am unsure why Annatar would do this but perhaps to keep Celebrimbor close. If Celebrimbor believes Annatar can save him from killing his son. That seems a very complicated way of Annatar achieving that. 

But would the Valar REALLY do this?? And why choose Celebrian? To get back at Galadriel? 

So yeah...confused! 



Author's Response:

I am glad I confused you lol  I was hoping to leave the reader guessing who could be behind it!  But I’m glad it became clear in the next chapter :)



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: June 01, 2017 10:42 · For: Chapter 34

Oh I love Gildor SO much. He is such a beautiful spirit. I had forgotten about how Curufin had groomed him all those years ago! I was wondering why he agreed to this but it does make sense. He still seems so young even though he isn't at all of course. I haven't forgotten how perfect he was with Elrohir.

So Annatars issues with Gildor are all Finrod??? Is it Finrod he sees when he looks at him? He killed him after all. Sickening really to think of Gildor lying with Finrod's killer. No wonder he felt violated. No wonder he looked at him with hate. 

Celebrimbor obviously cares for Gildor, yet still he is deaf to what he is saying. After what he saw Annatar do and what his cousin told him he felt, still he turns his eyes away. He is better than this. His logical brain is completely gone isn't it because if he took the time to think just a little bit he would get rid of Annatar in a heartbeat. When has Gildor ever been anything but honest and truthful? 

 

 



Author's Response:

“Oh I love Gildor SO much. He is such a beautiful spirit.

I am right there with you!

“I had forgotten about how Curufin had groomed him all those years ago! I was wondering why he agreed to this but it does make sense.

I am glad to hear Gildor’s motivations made sense!  He hadn’t ever forgotten his first crush, but I’d say he’s finally over it.  (I wouldn’t say Curufin groomed him, because it wasn’t a pre-planned thing when Curufin kissed him, rather an act of impulsive vengeance –not that the motivation makes it any better!  Celegorm was quite right to punch him!)

“So Annatars issues with Gildor are all Finrod??? Is it Finrod he sees when he looks at him? He killed him after all. Sickening really to think of Gildor lying with Finrod's killer. No wonder he felt violated. No wonder he looked at him with hate. 

I’d say Annatar desired Gildor because of Finrod, but he hates him because he’s viciously jealous of him and possessive of Celebrimbor.  Poor Gildor will have to remember this day when Annatar finally reveals himself!  If he feels violated now, how much worse it will be when he knows the truth!

After what he saw Annatar do and what his cousin told him he felt, still he turns his eyes away. He is better than this. His logical brain is completely gone isn't it because if he took the time to think just a little bit he would get rid of Annatar in a heartbeat. When has Gildor ever been anything but honest and truthful? “

I think at this point Annatar and Celebrimbor’s relationship has reached the emotionally abusive stage.  Annatar manipulates him pretty much through his every word, and has learned Celebrimbor’s tender points by now.  You bet he knew how much showing his disgust and disappointment with Celebrimbor would get to Celebrimbor!  Celebrimbor is practically primed to fall into this kind of relationship with his self-hate and isolation (we saw how Annatar preyed upon him in the moment of his grief for Navi).  Celebrimbor gets defensive when Gildor tries to point out that Annatar isn’t good for him. 

 

I think another of Celebrimbor’s major reasons for not being able to admit to what Annatar is, is because he has become addicted to him.  You may have noticed that Celebrimbor hasn’t turned to drink since he started his relationship with Annatar?  Annatar is his drink now –his escape.  When he’s with Annatar he doesn’t have to think about how much he’s failing to get his family back –and how much he misses them—because with Annatar he feels like he’s finally accomplishing something.  Annatar gives him hope, as crazy as that it.  He’s caught deep in the spider’s net.



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: June 01, 2017 10:21 · For: Chapter 36
Oh, my. I just don't know. Annatar's twisted possessiveness and cold passion, his damage,which is very real, his power, his cruelty. It twists me up not the least because Celebrimbor and his kin have borne enough. We know what will happen here, hate and doom reaching out from the past. The Feanorions have always been at the centre of everything and each generation bears it - the hate and jealousy of gods. I suppose it. It could never have been otherwise. You can feel the weight of their history in every chapter, and their own weight shapes history. I just want to see them all together. All the love, no matter how complicated, between them, has been the only brightness In the tragedy of these Ages. Just truly exceptional and brilliant, moving writing, Encairion. Writing that never leaves me, it goes so deep.

I am in a sense, a little sorry for Sauron. He could have been so much more than he was, but was damaged beyond belief.

Author's Response:

“It twists me up not the least because Celebrimbor and his kin have borne enough. We know what will happen here, hate and doom reaching out from the past. The Feanorions have always been at the centre of everything and each generation bears it

So, so true.  They are always right there in the middle of the heartbreak.  I feel just incredible empathy for them, and long for their healing and to know joy once more.

“I just want to see them all together. All the love, no matter how complicated, between them, has been the only brightness In the tragedy of these Ages.

I want so much to finally get them all together again too!  If anything can heal them, it will be their love for each other.  I think what I love the most about the Feanorions is their love.  When you think about it, it is incredible that they were able to endure as a unit, as brothers united, until the very end.  Not even the shadow of betrayal came between them.  They never once turned their back on a brother to choose an easier road, everything they worked for in Beleriand for the survival of their family.  Even the wrongs they did.  And maybe that doesn’t make them justified, but it makes it impossible for me to do anything but love them.

“I am in a sense, a little sorry for Sauron. He could have been so much more than he was, but was damaged beyond belief.

I feel a lot of pity for him, actually, because it is exactly as you said: he could have been so much more.  Once he was so much more. 

 

Thank you so much for this lovely review!  It put a smile on my face :hugs:



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: June 01, 2017 10:02 · For: Chapter 33

Ah, another challenging character. Galadriel. I feel so sorry for her, although I know you don't like her and what she did to Fingon was appalling, although to me her reasons were understandable. I just think Finrod's death broke her. She can't see past that loss. Maybe because I have lost my own brother I focus on that. 

Anyway it has made a mess of the rest of her life, and especially...sadly, her relationship with her daughter. 

I don't quite understand her and Celeborn. I don't get what keeps them together when they seem to dislike each other so much. But there is palpably still a connection there despite it all. They are a strange pair and I can't quite work out what drives them. 

And here comes Elrond. Gosh he is an insufferable arse isn't he. I had forgotten he could be like that! 



Author's Response:

Even tho I haven’t been the kindest to Galadriel in the story, I have come to pity her and hope for her sake and the sake of everyone around her that she grows into a better person.  I agree with you that Finrod’s death hit her hard.  She was defiantly her favorite brother (tho I think she never got to know the man he grew into in ME.  But she loved the brother she remembered a lot.  I think she hero-worshiped him a bit too growing up.  He was a number of years older than her, and probably seemed like the shining star of her family growing up.)

“I don't quite understand her and Celeborn. I don't get what keeps them together when they seem to dislike each other so much. But there is palpably still a connection there despite it all. They are a strange pair and I can't quite work out what drives them. 

I think they are both still in love with the people they were in Doriath, when they first met, before time and grief and bitterness turned them into what they are now.  They saw a like spirit in each other back them, both young and idealist enough to believe they could re-make the world into something better, but seeing the same flaws in Doriath society and spending hours together railing against it and planning how it would be if they were the ones in charge. 

I think a lot would have been different in their marriage if they had both been Sindar or Noldor.  The difference in culture, and the split ties of loyalty has done a lot of damage, and their pride took care of the rest.

 

Thank you for the review, all of them!  I woke up this morning to see you had had a chance to finish the whole thing, yay!



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: June 01, 2017 9:36 · For: Chapter 31

Oh, it's not disappointing, far from it! 

But it is......challenging. Although that's not a bad thing. Just because a character is hard to read doesn't mean it isn't good. :-) at least for me anyway. 

I loved young Celebrimbor and he has vanished without a trace. There is a grief associated with the loss of a character like that, and I really don't like who he has become, perhaps because I liked him so much before. But as I said, it will make reading what is to come somewhat easier! 

I kind of like the idea of him getting to start from scratch in rebirth, (if that's what you mean) removing those memories from him because he just can't heal if he keeps them. In a way Celebrimbor is thought of with more scorn than any other of the Feanorians by the third age people. He is, of course, seen as the cause of all their grief. Creator of those damn rings. And the other Feanorians deeds had faded somewhat over time...for non Elves anyway. 

I do think a lot of what we are seeing here is reaping what Curufin sowed. The self doubt, the feeling of failure, Curufin planted those feelings in Celebrimbor years ago, passing on his own inadequacies. It's like those feelings have been handed down the generations all the way from Feanor himself whose problems with Fingolfin all came down to that. 

So yeah, Feanor. Yes he is not my favourite. I can't forgive him the oath which however I look at it is wrong...not the oath itself, but allowing his sons to swear it and then insisting they swear it a second time. Can't see past that. I had forgotten about your take on the ship burning though. I did like that. Him trying to save Fingolfin at the last. A small break in his madness. I hope one day Fingolfin knows he did that. 

But I love Feanor's sons....well most of them, (the twins are invisible and Curufin....he killed Finrod.) and because I love them everything that happened to them after can be laid at Feanor's door. 

And here is lovely Celebrimbor, turned out just like his Grandfather...which is realistic but pushes all my "I don't like Feanor" buttons! 

You are right on reflection. In your stories it's not the silmarils that consume Feanor, (although it IS them in canon) it's revenge for his father's death, and even before that he inflicted emotional harm on his sons and wife due to his obsession with his father. 

Its all down to Daddy issues with Feanor! He allowed his useless father to destroy his life, and his son's lives, sadly and he never managed to see Finwe for what he was. It's like Feanor was trapped emotionally at the age he was when his mother died and never matured. 



Author's Response:

Oh, it's not disappointing, far from it! 

But it is......challenging. Although that's not a bad thing. Just because a character is hard to read doesn't mean it isn't good. :-) at least for me anyway. 

I loved young Celebrimbor and he has vanished without a trace. There is a grief associated with the loss of a character like that, and I really don't like who he has become, perhaps because I liked him so much before. But as I said, it will make reading what is to come somewhat easier!”

Ah, I see now.  I can understand where you are coming from so much too.  If a story is one I like, but one of the characters are driving me mad, I can put up with it to a point.  But a lot of times I will lose interest (depending on how big a role the characters plays in the story).  So I really do appreciate you sticking with this even if Celeb has become someone you don’t like.

I kind of like the idea of him getting to start from scratch in rebirth, (if that's what you mean) removing those memories from him because he just can't heal if he keeps them. 

Yes, that’s exactly what I mean :)  I plan to have him reborn as a child and experience a second childhood (with Curufin doing things right this time!).  Whether or not he will eventually re-gain his memories of his past life, I have yet to decide on. 

I do think a lot of what we are seeing here is reaping what Curufin sowed. The self doubt, the feeling of failure, Curufin planted those feelings in Celebrimbor years ago, passing on his own inadequacies. It's like those feelings have been handed down the generations all the way from Feanor himself whose problems with Fingolfin all came down to that.”

I do agree that it was Curufin’s issues that cause a lot (but far from all) of Celebrimbor’s.  We saw back before everyone died in the first age, how Celebrimbor was struggling and how much Curufin’s inability to love him openly hurt Celebrimbor. 

As for Feanor and Curufin’s relationship tho, I think it was less Feanor passing down his issues and more Curufin inheriting a personality very similar to Feanor’s own.  They both craved love, especially love that was given openly.  But Feanor gave Curufin this.  It wasn’t a lack of being loved by Feanor that caused Curufin problems, it was not being loved by everyone else –Caranthir, his wife, his mother.  He thought all of them didn’t love him and found something wanting him in, which in the end drew him all the closer to Feanor and made him more dependent on Feanor’s love.  But I wouldn’t say it was a problem with Feanor’s parenting that caused Curufin’s issues, rather Curufin being too born too much like Feanor. 

“But I love Feanor's sons....well most of them, (the twins are invisible and Curufin....he killed Finrod.) and because I love them everything that happened to them after can be laid at Feanor's door.”

I think we will have to agree to disagree about Feanor (I think we might have actually come to that conclusion before lol).

 “In your stories it's not the silmarils that consume Feanor, (although it IS them in canon)

I cannot agree about this, despite the Oath and everything that came after, because I will never forget what came right before news of Finwe’s death.  And that was the Valar asking Feanor if he would give them the Silmarils to break to re-make the Trees, and Feanor standing there thinking about it, considering it for what might have been weeks depending on how the news from the North came of Finwe’s death.  Feanor seriously considered destroying the Silmarils, even tho he believed it might kill him.  That’s selfless.  It wasn’t like anyone’s life was in danger if the Tree’s never came back.  Yet Feanor still considered sacrificing himself and loosing the Silmarils forever for the sake of at least his family and people, maybe even all of Valinor’s way of life.  So, I really do think it was Finwe’s death that destroyed him and what he most wanted vengeance for, not the theft of the Silmarils (I actually find the Oath’s wording strange because it is so outside what we had already known about Feanor’s character up to that point.  It makes me think its wording was plot motivated more than character, or else something we don’t know was going on (like Morgoth influencing his mind).

 

Thank you for discussing the story/these characters with me!  



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: June 01, 2017 7:07 · For: Chapter 32

Well I am glad that experiment ended in failure and it seems Celebrimbor maybe got an understanding of how wrong it all was. It felt like necromancy. He allowed himself to get too consumed with wanting something and lost his humanity along the way. A tendency he obviously inherited from Curufin, who put all his focus in to trying to grow Maedhros a hand but never actually bothered to ask Maedhros if he wanted one in the first place. 

Just one question. I assuming you are not subscribing to the "elves can control their procreation" theory. Because if they can you would presume they controlled egg release so they would not have a monthly cycle......right? 

Oh, and I have remembered something I should have asked in the last chapter. Why is Erestor there? Is this something I knew and have forgotten? Why is he not back in Lindon with Elrond? 

Oh, and one last thing. Is Annatar purposely trying to look like a cluster of random Feanorions? Or is Celebrimbors mind just playing tricks on him. It seems significant that he is constantly seeing members of his family in Annatar. 



Author's Response:

“Just one question. I assuming you are not subscribing to the "elves can control their procreation" theory. Because if they can you would presume they controlled egg release so they would not have a monthly cycle......right? 

You are right.  In this AU Elven women once had the power to control pregnancy, but that was in the youth of their race.  Galadriel still held onto it by sheer will-power, we saw here consciously choose to get pregnant with Gil-galad.  But Galadriel is uncommonly powerful.

“Oh, and I have remembered something I should have asked in the last chapter. Why is Erestor there? Is this something I knew and have forgotten? Why is he not back in Lindon with Elrond? 

I had to throw my mind back, I couldn’t remember at first.  What happened was Erestor was with Elrond in Lindon, but Elrond finally realized how much it was destroying Erestor to remain there, so he traveled with Erestor to seek out Celebrimbor.  Erestor stayed with the Feanorions to heal, and Elrond went back to Lindon.

“Oh, and one last thing. Is Annatar purposely trying to look like a cluster of random Feanorions? Or is Celebrimbors mind just playing tricks on him. It seems significant that he is constantly seeing members of his family in Annatar.”

It’s all Celebrimbor.  He is pretty messed up, and terribly lonely, and never really got over the magnitude of the loss.  The only way he handled losing them all was telling himself that it wasn’t forever, that he would get them back –thus his obsession with his mission.

 

 



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: June 01, 2017 6:46 · For: Chapter 31

Oh Celebrimbor. Pride goes before a fall and yours is a big one. He should have listened to Galadriel and her warning. Instead he refused to trust out of conceit. 

He is too like Feanor for me to like here. This could be Feanor. I miss the old Celebrimbor. He never used to be like this. When he was younger he was much more uncertain and softer...more caring...than Curufin. He had a strong moral centre. Where has it all gone?

As a health professional his "experiment" with IVF makes my skin crawl because it is so morally and ethically wrong. That he doesn't see that sickens me a bit. The old Celebrimbor would have understood that. I could see hard edged obsessive Curufin suggesting something like that and Celebrimbor being disapproving. It is as if he has swallowed up all his father's bad points. Because to create life for the sole purpose of experimentation? No, no, no. 

I know what is coming in Celebrimbor's future of course and it is not pretty. At least I am not going to cry many tears for him at this rate when it happens.....but I will for the old Celebrimbor. I really used to like him :-( 

P.S. It made me really sad to think of Caranthir writing to him and getting no reply. So sad. 



Author's Response:

I miss the old Celebrimbor. He never used to be like this. When he was younger he was much more uncertain and softer...more caring...than Curufin. He had a strong moral centre. Where has it all gone?

I think it went the same way Curufin’s softness went.  In the end, Celebrimbor reacted to grief rather similarly to Curufin.  They had a breaking point, and they started to shut down after that.  Celebrimbor was the stronger of the two, really, for he lived through a lot of losses.  Not only his family, but most of the few friends he’d had are dead too.  He’s not beyond making human connections with people, he’s not yet lost to madness, but his life has narrowed down to his mission of getting his family back.  He feels like he is their only hope, and he kind of is at this point.  He’s become obsessed with it, and it only grows worse as time passes and he loses hope.  I know he seems arrogant here, but I’d say it’s mostly him trying to convince himself.  He’s terrified of failing underneath, and cannot afford to give in to entertaining doubts or he’d probably just give up and lay himself down to die. 

As a health professional his "experiment" with IVF makes my skin crawl because it is so morally and ethically wrong. “

I am sorry it was so hard to read!  I think Celebrimbor has divorced what he is doing from experimentation with an actual person in his head.  He has reduced it down to numbers and procedures and stopped thinking about fertilized eggs as potential human beings.  He thought this is what he had to do to save his family, so his mind rearranged itself to make that possible.  It wasn’t until he actually held the child in his arms that he could no longer keep doing this (and even in that scene you see him still trying to justify what he’d done, because deep down he knows what he did was horrifying, but he’s done it now and can’t undo it, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it except to keep trying to justify what he’d done.  But you bet he thinks about it when he’s alone, and it is yet another thing he can’t deal with, like his grief, that drives him to drinking and destroying himself.  I think under all the arrogance and justifications he hates himself.  Not just for this.  He hates himself for never answering back to even one of Caranthir’s letters.  He hates himself for not being there with his father before the end and getting to see him just one last time.  He hates himself for not stopping any of it, not Nargorthornd, or the Kinslayings, or the Oath.  He stood by and watched while they destroyed themselves, and he never forgave himself for it).  And it is exactly this self-hate, this belief deep down that he doesn’t deserve anything good, that Annatar preys upon.

I know what is coming in Celebrimbor's future of course and it is not pretty. At least I am not going to cry many tears for him at this rate when it happens.....but I will for the old Celebrimbor. I really used to like him :-( 

If that is how you feel, I doubt you will come to like him again as the story progresses.  In the end, even before the torture, he was already destroyed in every way that mattered.  (Spoiler!! I actually do not see a future for him in rebirth –at least not as he is now, with all his memories.  I don’t think even getting his family back would be enough to heal the damage).

 

I am sorry to hear his character is so disappointing for you, and that this is turning into a hard read :(  Thank you for putting up with it :)



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: June 01, 2017 6:07 · For: Chapter 30

I must admit to being somewhat overwhelmed by the number of new chapters of yours I now have to read! It might take me a few days. :-)

So what was Celebrimbor thinking?? Why did he not see Annatar for what he was? When Gil-Galad and Galadriel both did. (I like Galadriel. She is one of my favourites... although not your Galadriel in particular who is rather more flawed than usual! So I do think Galadriel saw right through Annatar, that her dislike was more to do with what she saw in his soul than a fear of competition that he insinuates here.)

Celebrimbor seen here through Annatar eyes gives me major Feanor vibes. Feanor who was blinded by the silmarils and put the beauty of his craft ahead of  anything else in his life. It is as if Celebrimbor is dazzled by the potential of Annatar, of an opportunity to challenge his intellect, and all common sense is lost. 

I'd love to see what Celebrimbor was actually thinking. 



Author's Response:

 “I must admit to being somewhat overwhelmed by the number of new chapters of yours I now have to read! It might take me a few days. :-)

I am sorry about that.  I did wonder if it was too much, take all the time you need (or read none of it at all, whatever you want :))

“So what was Celebrimbor thinking?? Why did he not see Annatar for what he was?.... It is as if Celebrimbor is dazzled by the potential of Annatar, of an opportunity to challenge his intellect, and all common sense is lost.”

I would say you are a bit right about him being interested in Annatar’s potential, tho, as you saw in the next chapter, it’s the potential of how Annatar can help him with his mission.  But most of all, I think Annatar was clever to come in the guise of a fellow rebel of the Valar.  Celebrimbor may not have said anything, or really even acknowledged Annatar, but he was taken in by the idea of a fellow creature trying to fight for freedom against the Valar.  It fits perfectly into what he knows of the Valar, and it is not outside the realm of possibility since Eönwë told the Elves a bit about how the Valar had chained the Maiar.

As for why he believed Sauron when Gil-galad and Galadriel didn’t, well, I think it comes down to how desperate he is.  He doesn’t show it yet, but the reality that his mission is pretty much impossible is always there, eating at the back of his mind, and he saw in Annatar hope and grasped for it.

Celebrimbor seen here through Annatar eyes gives me major Feanor vibes. Feanor who was blinded by the silmarils and put the beauty of his craft ahead of  anything else in his life. 

As you have noted in later reviews too, Celebrimbor is a lot more like Curufin before his end.  Loss and grief have scraped so much of his softness away.  I am kind of surprised you think Feanor put the Silmarils above everything else in his life (had you told me this before?  I can’t remember.  Tho I do remember you weren’t too fond of Feanor).  I’ve never seen it that way.  It was always, always about the people he loved to Feanor.  Even burning the ships was about protecting the people he loved and trying to spar them the horrors he’d seen in the Palantir.  Even the Oath was sworn because 1. Morgoth had been working tirelessly to destroy him and had gotten into his head and 2.  Because Feanor had lost himself to grief and gone mad over Finwe’s death and his terror that the Valar could kill his sons as easily too.  He went mad because he loved too much, not because he loved jewels over his family.  But, hey, that’s just how I see it, and I realize we all read the characters differently, from cannon to fanfiction interpretations :)

 

Thank you for taking the time to read and review!



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: May 31, 2017 19:38 · For: Chapter 33
Power slammed into Celebrimbor, sending his head spinning, fingers clenching. It was over too quick to untangle the ancient being that was everything Annatar was since before time existed. Celebrimbor could only taste the edges: glory and anguish. But under these was an emptiness Celebrimbor recoiled from. There was a wrongness inside Annatar. It was like someone had taken a pair of shears to Annatar’s very soul and snipped out whole chunks of him, leaving only the ragged edges of their violation behind.
That was amazing, and HOT but god, terrible too in its revelation. of what Annatar is, potentially and actually in fact as well. These two have so much in common, and such an abyss that they cannot cross, that it is absolutely tragic and compelling to see their interactions whether it is iod the body or the mind. Stunningly written.

Author's Response:

“of what Annatar is, potentially and actually in fact as well.

 More will be revealed in future chapters about what was going on with Annatar there.

These two have so much in common, and such an abyss that they cannot cross, that it is absolutely tragic and compelling to see their interactions whether it is iod the body or the mind.

They really do have several things in common, tho that will be so hard for Celebrimbor to ever admit even secretly to himself by the time this is over.  They are both seriously damaged, driven, and passionate to obsession about their craft.  Really, it’s like a train disaster these two! 

 

Thank you, thank you for these reviews.  They made my day :hugs:



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: May 31, 2017 14:24 · For: Chapter 31
These last chapters have been magnificent- truly you have upped the ante in writing of this time, and these characters. Annatar is superbly characterised. Absolutely mind-blowing.

I shall have to come back to read the rest later, but I just had to applaud you for this!

Author's Response:

:jumps up and down:  Thank you, Spiced!  This left a huge grin on my face!  I was super nervous about writing Sauron, you have no idea.  I was sure I would mess him up entirely and make him too soft and not ruthless enough.  So to hear you liked him is the absolute best :D



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: November 15, 2016 5:57 · For: Chapter 29

You are right. Cold, calculating political Galadriel would leave Gildor cold. He would walk away and not look back.

I kind of didn't imagine her being like that though. Maybe I just want to see the best in people but I think Galadriel has a soft, grieving, soul inside that hard as crystal strong shell. I think she learned early on in Valinor she had to be hard, cold, strong and unemotional to get anywhere near fulfilling her potential and perhaps her softer inside has been lost amongst that. 

She would hide her emotions...or try to..I agree, but if she stumbled across Gildor unannounced...not expecting to see him, not knowing he lived and there he was. Even hard as nails Galadriel may not be able to hide all that emotion then. And she would know instantly who he was because....you know.....Galadriel.

She has lost so much, I guess I want her to find someone alive for once! 

Actually learning to accept Gildor for Gildor and the fact he is not like Finrod in a lot of ways might be a damn good lesson for her to learn. 

I am now wondering if they had much to do with each other in the third age...while Gildor was back to wandering and Galadriel was more reasonable? I wonder how she feels about Gildors theories of fighting the Valar? Is that something she buys into? Does she wish to help? She doesn't really have to as Finrod is already out....but he is not her only brother... Are she and Gildor on the same page there? Is that why she went back to Valinor ahead of the others, with Elrond? Just how closely was she working with Celebrimbor when he made the rings? How did she get her hands on one of those rings in the first place!!!

Anyway...this has gotten WAY of track. Sorry :-( 



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: November 15, 2016 5:22 · For: Chapter 29

Oh, I kind of want Gildor to meet Galadriel now, especially if he has a likeness to Finrod...and if she thinks him dead. Because, I just feel, (and it maybe just my personal head canon getting in the way) that Finrod's death affected Galadiel very, very badly and is a contributing factor to her bitterness and anger....the way she is. I mean we just have to look at how extreme her behaviour was when she tired to prevent Finrods death. She seems almost Feanorian in the intensity of her love of Finrod. 

So yeah. I want her to meet Gildor now. I think it might help her, a lot. And meeting her may help Gildor as well, (as long as she behaves herself and is not completely objectionable!) 



Author's Response:

I hadn’t actually planned on writing the scene where she finds out he’s alive…hmm.  Maybe I will…but I don’t think it would end well.  Gildor isn’t the kind of person who would put up with her if she comes at him the way she does with Celebrían.  Gildor would just walk away; he wouldn’t feel the need to play politics or try to keep his cool.  If she came to him with open emotion and vulnerabilities, then he’s a compassioned person and would stay and listen, but she has too much pride for that.  She would try to hind how much meeting him and seeing so much of Finrod in his face affected her.  I do agree with you that Finrod’s death affected her deeply.  I think he was the person she loved the most until she met Celeborn.  But Gildor isn’t that much like Finrod in the ways Galadriel would want him to be, and once she understood that I am not sure how deeply she’d try to pursue a relationship with him…but one thing for sure, she wouldn’t care that he was a bastard or that his mother was not a Noldo.

 

Hmmmm….I feel like I need to keep thinking about this and see if a scene comes to me….maybe once I write it it will turn out a little differently than I’d thought?.....:goes off to think:



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: November 14, 2016 8:28 · For: Chapter 29

Well I wanted to read this chapter last night but it got too late so I admitted defeat and went to bed, only to wake up an hour later with a horrid earthquake. Awake for hours after that so I may as well have just stayed up to read the chapter in the first place! 

Anyway, Gildor. 

Good to see him! But oh! What has happened to him? Gildor's strength has always been his optimism, his positive attack on life. Gildor is a glass half full kind of guy. Right back to when he was a child being bullied in Nargothrond he just put his chin up and dealt with it. 

But here....he is so sad. The world has finally gotten to him, finally squashed out that wonderful spirit. Even when we saw him soon after Finrod's death he was not like this. Then he still had that positive spark about him. What has been the straw that broke the camels back?

I am terribly upset to see him like this.

Obviously though he somehow in the future manages to regain his equilibrium  because when we see him with Elrohir, the spirit, the positive light, has returned to him. I wonder why? 

I was really surprised Gil-Galad knew nothing about him. Why is that? Finrod didn't keep Gildor a secret. He didn't hide him away. He claimed him. Everyone in Nargothrond knew who Gildors father was. So even though Nargothrond was fairly isolated it wasn't completley so. Galadriel must have known, surely, if only via gossip going to Doriath. 

And Curufin and Celegorm know....so Maedhros knew....so Fingon would know. I mean, even with all the mess that followed Curufin and Celegorm's departure from Nargothrond there was time to say to their big brother, "By the way, Finrod has a son," 

And Celebrimbor knew! 

So I am confused with that. Is there something I am missing? 

 



Author's Response:

Well I wanted to read this chapter last night but it got too late so I admitted defeat and went to bed, only to wake up an hour later with a horrid earthquake.“

I was relieved to hear you and your family are all right!  Sending you and your country lots of well wishes!

Gildor, yes, he is going through a really rough time right now, but you are right that he gets his light and optimism back!  Right now though he is suffering and struggling to keep his hope alive.  I think the problem is both that he has a lot of survivor’s guilt but also that he blames himself for not doing enough in Nargothrond, even thinks he’s to blame because he was one of those naïve fools who didn’t listen to Gwindor and kept clinging to hope, dismissing Gwindor’s wisdom as pessimism and ultimately getting everyone more people killed who might have been saved if only, if only, he’d been more cautious and counseled to have the city evacuated when the news of the approaching army was coming, if only he’d done something, he must think.  Hope hadn’t saved any of them, and now here he is, having outlived everyone he’d ever loved.

BUT Gil-galad is just the friend he needs because Gil-galad has experience with survivor’s guilt and self-blame and will be able to help Gildor :)

As for why no one seems to know about him….well I think people do, but Gil-galad didn’t.  Like, I think Galadriel knows his name and that he’s Finrod’s son but never met him, and Celebrimbor obviously knows about him and a lot of survivors of Nargothrond too, but I think a lot of people thought died in Nargothrond.  Celebrimbor and Galadriel think this.  And for those few survivors who knew the truth, most of them were not his friends, so when he disappearing again into the wilds, he kind of became a non-entity to them, no longer of importance, maybe they thought he’d even died during the War of Wrath with all the upheaval.  I think there is a definite lack of communication that happened towards the end of the First Age.  So many roads would have been cut off as the Elven kingdoms became more and more isolated, and survivors wouldn’t have wanted to talk about the past but rather avoided it.  Gil-galad has been raised on stories of his family for the most part, some propaganda passed down through the years, some lies and half-truths…I think there just aren’t many people left who know the whole truth…and even fewer who can retell it without heavy bias on one side or another.  Which makes Gildor all the precious to him because Gildor is not only family, he is a window into those lost that Gil-galad never knew.

 

Thanks so much for the review, it makes me happy to hear that you enjoyed seeing Gildor again :grins:



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