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The trails of Nan Elmoth by Chiara Cadrich Mature
Proud and solitary, Aredhel rides freely in the deep forests of Beleriand. She believes she escaped the destiny intended...
Freedom by mangacrack General Audiences
"Do you have any clue where we are?" Elladan asked his brother and looked around. There must be some clues where they ended...
Shadows Of The Past by Starfox General Audiences
After a disastrous incident in the mountains Elrond's past experience allows him to help Thranduil and Legolas cope with...
A Dawn Of Many Colors by Pink Siamese Mature
How many books out of worlds and worlds out of books? This is the story of Janet Lambert, a thirtysomething college student...
Fire Dancing Upon Our Souls by cheekybeak Teen
Sequel to "The Hands of the King" AND "Darkness in Your Heart" Misunderstanding and heartache cause antagonism between Legolas...
Summer Heat by Glorfindel Explicit
A modern day, elves who never sailed, detective story in the style of film noir. Erestor was the most evil...
Melpomaen the Elfling by Glorfindel Explicit
Melpomaen is a reborn elfling. He has two fathers because Saruman cursed one of them to fall pregnant to the next elf they...

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Caunedhiel
05/21/17 02:18 pm
Lost my 1 year old cat oreo this weekend! been out looking for him, posted to facebook, rang the vets but nothing has been seen of him since friday :( very worried its so unusual for him
Naledi
05/20/17 04:57 pm
Yes the bit I did was near Ludlow - around the Knighton and Kington sections. I love Ludlow, too!
ziggy
05/20/17 10:01 am
Naledi- where abouts on Offa's dyke? I've walked a bit of that- near Ludlow. Love Ludlow!!! Great restaurants too. I'll go with you next time:)
Naledi
05/19/17 11:53 pm
Thanks, Cheeky. As you've seen, I found it. I'm not long back from a few days walking a section of Offa's Dyke. So tired!
cheekybeak
05/18/17 10:25 am
Hi Naledi! This time "Fire" really is updated.
Caunedhiel
05/16/17 12:27 am
@ ziggy thank you :) hopefully i can
ziggy
05/15/17 11:58 pm
@Caunedhiel- you have to just keep writing through the blocks- even if you ditch it, you have to keep the habit. With all of us cheering you on!!
Caunedhiel
05/15/17 10:01 pm
hopefully i get somewhere with my Evelyn story before it runs out for another couple of years!!
Caunedhiel
05/15/17 10:01 pm
actually feeling inspired to write lately. what is wrong with me?! XD
Pink Siamese
05/13/17 02:59 am
@Alquien it's 10 years old, so...no worries, it's not like it's going anywhere :-)
Shout Archive



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: November 15, 2016 5:57 · For: Chapter 29

You are right. Cold, calculating political Galadriel would leave Gildor cold. He would walk away and not look back.

I kind of didn't imagine her being like that though. Maybe I just want to see the best in people but I think Galadriel has a soft, grieving, soul inside that hard as crystal strong shell. I think she learned early on in Valinor she had to be hard, cold, strong and unemotional to get anywhere near fulfilling her potential and perhaps her softer inside has been lost amongst that. 

She would hide her emotions...or try to..I agree, but if she stumbled across Gildor unannounced...not expecting to see him, not knowing he lived and there he was. Even hard as nails Galadriel may not be able to hide all that emotion then. And she would know instantly who he was because....you know.....Galadriel.

She has lost so much, I guess I want her to find someone alive for once! 

Actually learning to accept Gildor for Gildor and the fact he is not like Finrod in a lot of ways might be a damn good lesson for her to learn. 

I am now wondering if they had much to do with each other in the third age...while Gildor was back to wandering and Galadriel was more reasonable? I wonder how she feels about Gildors theories of fighting the Valar? Is that something she buys into? Does she wish to help? She doesn't really have to as Finrod is already out....but he is not her only brother... Are she and Gildor on the same page there? Is that why she went back to Valinor ahead of the others, with Elrond? Just how closely was she working with Celebrimbor when he made the rings? How did she get her hands on one of those rings in the first place!!!

Anyway...this has gotten WAY of track. Sorry :-( 



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: November 15, 2016 5:22 · For: Chapter 29

Oh, I kind of want Gildor to meet Galadriel now, especially if he has a likeness to Finrod...and if she thinks him dead. Because, I just feel, (and it maybe just my personal head canon getting in the way) that Finrod's death affected Galadiel very, very badly and is a contributing factor to her bitterness and anger....the way she is. I mean we just have to look at how extreme her behaviour was when she tired to prevent Finrods death. She seems almost Feanorian in the intensity of her love of Finrod. 

So yeah. I want her to meet Gildor now. I think it might help her, a lot. And meeting her may help Gildor as well, (as long as she behaves herself and is not completely objectionable!) 



Author's Response:

I hadn’t actually planned on writing the scene where she finds out he’s alive…hmm.  Maybe I will…but I don’t think it would end well.  Gildor isn’t the kind of person who would put up with her if she comes at him the way she does with Celebrían.  Gildor would just walk away; he wouldn’t feel the need to play politics or try to keep his cool.  If she came to him with open emotion and vulnerabilities, then he’s a compassioned person and would stay and listen, but she has too much pride for that.  She would try to hind how much meeting him and seeing so much of Finrod in his face affected her.  I do agree with you that Finrod’s death affected her deeply.  I think he was the person she loved the most until she met Celeborn.  But Gildor isn’t that much like Finrod in the ways Galadriel would want him to be, and once she understood that I am not sure how deeply she’d try to pursue a relationship with him…but one thing for sure, she wouldn’t care that he was a bastard or that his mother was not a Noldo.

 

Hmmmm….I feel like I need to keep thinking about this and see if a scene comes to me….maybe once I write it it will turn out a little differently than I’d thought?.....:goes off to think:



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: November 14, 2016 8:28 · For: Chapter 29

Well I wanted to read this chapter last night but it got too late so I admitted defeat and went to bed, only to wake up an hour later with a horrid earthquake. Awake for hours after that so I may as well have just stayed up to read the chapter in the first place! 

Anyway, Gildor. 

Good to see him! But oh! What has happened to him? Gildor's strength has always been his optimism, his positive attack on life. Gildor is a glass half full kind of guy. Right back to when he was a child being bullied in Nargothrond he just put his chin up and dealt with it. 

But here....he is so sad. The world has finally gotten to him, finally squashed out that wonderful spirit. Even when we saw him soon after Finrod's death he was not like this. Then he still had that positive spark about him. What has been the straw that broke the camels back?

I am terribly upset to see him like this.

Obviously though he somehow in the future manages to regain his equilibrium  because when we see him with Elrohir, the spirit, the positive light, has returned to him. I wonder why? 

I was really surprised Gil-Galad knew nothing about him. Why is that? Finrod didn't keep Gildor a secret. He didn't hide him away. He claimed him. Everyone in Nargothrond knew who Gildors father was. So even though Nargothrond was fairly isolated it wasn't completley so. Galadriel must have known, surely, if only via gossip going to Doriath. 

And Curufin and Celegorm know....so Maedhros knew....so Fingon would know. I mean, even with all the mess that followed Curufin and Celegorm's departure from Nargothrond there was time to say to their big brother, "By the way, Finrod has a son," 

And Celebrimbor knew! 

So I am confused with that. Is there something I am missing? 

 



Author's Response:

Well I wanted to read this chapter last night but it got too late so I admitted defeat and went to bed, only to wake up an hour later with a horrid earthquake.“

I was relieved to hear you and your family are all right!  Sending you and your country lots of well wishes!

Gildor, yes, he is going through a really rough time right now, but you are right that he gets his light and optimism back!  Right now though he is suffering and struggling to keep his hope alive.  I think the problem is both that he has a lot of survivor’s guilt but also that he blames himself for not doing enough in Nargothrond, even thinks he’s to blame because he was one of those naïve fools who didn’t listen to Gwindor and kept clinging to hope, dismissing Gwindor’s wisdom as pessimism and ultimately getting everyone more people killed who might have been saved if only, if only, he’d been more cautious and counseled to have the city evacuated when the news of the approaching army was coming, if only he’d done something, he must think.  Hope hadn’t saved any of them, and now here he is, having outlived everyone he’d ever loved.

BUT Gil-galad is just the friend he needs because Gil-galad has experience with survivor’s guilt and self-blame and will be able to help Gildor :)

As for why no one seems to know about him….well I think people do, but Gil-galad didn’t.  Like, I think Galadriel knows his name and that he’s Finrod’s son but never met him, and Celebrimbor obviously knows about him and a lot of survivors of Nargothrond too, but I think a lot of people thought died in Nargothrond.  Celebrimbor and Galadriel think this.  And for those few survivors who knew the truth, most of them were not his friends, so when he disappearing again into the wilds, he kind of became a non-entity to them, no longer of importance, maybe they thought he’d even died during the War of Wrath with all the upheaval.  I think there is a definite lack of communication that happened towards the end of the First Age.  So many roads would have been cut off as the Elven kingdoms became more and more isolated, and survivors wouldn’t have wanted to talk about the past but rather avoided it.  Gil-galad has been raised on stories of his family for the most part, some propaganda passed down through the years, some lies and half-truths…I think there just aren’t many people left who know the whole truth…and even fewer who can retell it without heavy bias on one side or another.  Which makes Gildor all the precious to him because Gildor is not only family, he is a window into those lost that Gil-galad never knew.

 

Thanks so much for the review, it makes me happy to hear that you enjoyed seeing Gildor again :grins:



Name: mangacrack (Signed) · Date: November 13, 2016 23:51 · For: Chapter 29

Nano is equally amazing and horriying. I hit the 20k mark, 5k written just today. It can be really fun when you have the time and the focus to do nothing but to write. So writing reviews basically a warm up. Finding the time to read the chapters is what truly distracts. 

But to the story now .... I LOVE CELEBRIMBOR. Especially with Gil-galad. God how they looked together, that Gil-galad actually let Celebrimbor take the lead in the end. I'm amazed especially since he never took the passive part before. I just want to hug them both. Yet I support Celebrimbor's decision to leave. His people don't feel safe and they truly need to find themselves first before they can do anything else. I guess it will make it harder later when they return the Noldor have moved on. But it's not like everything is fine, since the Teleri are still a problem. 

Concerning the problem the unanswered question ... there's still Galadriel's mirror which is Celebrimbor's making. I totally forgot about that one. Hence why our Feanorian has to leave. He'll discover how to make that mirror on his journey and give it Gil-galad upon his return. (This is the only way I can survive those two parting ways) 

I just hope not Annatar is going to mess with them! *is distraught* 

To imagine Sauron learns why Celebrimbor needs a way to look into the past ... that is a tragedy I don't need. Thinking of that Gil-galad will be taunted before his death by Sauron with numerous things. Like Celebrimbor loving him, his mother being a rapist. 

*wails* 

Better focus on Gildor. I nearly forgot he survived. Let's hope he will spend some time with Gil-galad. But I wonder what's going on with his life? In the end of the Third Age he's still wandering around. I hope he doesn't keep that up for the next two ages. Besides ... is he going to pick up a blade in the Ring War? Can't remember if he did it in the books. 

*hopes to have more of Gildor* 

What actually amused be to no end was the image of the young and rebellious Elrond. He's basically the punk among the Elves ... which his children are never going to believe when told later. But even off screen he's so charismatic and makes such an impact. Oh how Galadriel must chafe under the thought that the crown could go to Elrond. 

But her interacting with Gil-galad gives me hope that she'll have a better relationship with ... well, EVERYONE later on. 



Author's Response:

I am so happy to hear you liked Celebrimbor!  Gods I have gotten so into his character with this and plotting out what comes next!  He has changed in a lot of ways from the person he was when we last got a long look at him, and I find him all the more interesting to write now :)  And I really liked the chemistry between Gil-galad and him too, I didn’t actually see that coming between them, but they knew what they wanted lol

“Concerning the problem the unanswered question ... there's still Galadriel's mirror which is Celebrimbor's making. I totally forgot about that one. Hence why our Feanorian has to leave. He'll discover how to make that mirror on his journey and give it Gil-galad upon his return. (This is the only way I can survive those two parting ways)”

I have plans for Galadriel’s mirror, so I don’t want to spoil anything!  I will just say that it doesn’t get made until Eregion.  I wish though that Gil-galad could have it!  He will just have to leave Lindon and come visit Celebrimbor often :)  (unfortunately he is king and the distance is no small one so it probably won’t be often :(  But there is visiting, this is not the end!).

“I just hope not Annatar is going to mess with them! *is distraught*  

To imagine Sauron learns why Celebrimbor needs a way to look into the past ... that is a tragedy I don't need. Thinking of that Gil-galad will be taunted before his death by Sauron with numerous things. Like Celebrimbor loving him, his mother being a rapist.  

*wails*  

Oh this are DEFINATLY going to get worse when Annatar shows up :wails along with with:

Better focus on Gildor. I nearly forgot he survived. Let's hope he will spend some time with Gil-galad. But I wonder what's going on with his life? In the end of the Third Age he's still wandering around. I hope he doesn't keep that up for the next two ages. Besides ... is he going to pick up a blade in the Ring War? Can't remember if he did it in the books.  

*hopes to have more of Gildor*”

There will be more Gildor, don’t’ worry :)  And he does spend time in Lindon with Gil-galad, his wandering days are over for a while.  I don’t know if he fought in the War of the Rings in the books, but I image he did with the Rivendell Elves.  I am pretty sure it’s cannon that they fought some kind of battle with goblins come down from the mountains?  He would have fought in that, and I have him fighting in the Dagolad too!

“He's basically the punk among the Elves ... which his children are never going to believe when told later.

Lol I know!  They have no idea how cool their Dad was ;)  I love to hear that you liked him!  He is such a rebel :D

 

Thanks so much for the review!  Wishing you lots of good luck on your writing!



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: November 13, 2016 18:30 · For: Chapter 29
I can’t help myself lol But yes, on the flip side the reunion will be great!† (Do you know how many times I’ve used that for comfort to get through writing these kinds of scenes?† Man.† That reunion better be one hell of a party :))

I am so longing for it. Not that I want to skip anything you're writing now, but yes, knowing that is coming helps me get through it when I get so sad and so angry and just want to curl up in a ball and hug everyone.

Yes this, my god, this!† The Noldor, all of them, had to pay and keep paying again and again.† It makes me so furious too!† It’s awful enough that the Doom was even laid down in the first place, but to have it carry over onto their children?† That makes the Valar no better than Morgoth in my book.† In their own way they murdered them and tortured them by dragging them through to the hot, bitter coals of grief.

I've seen people say, Well what could they do after the Kinslaying, and I'm like, well NOT THIS? Because you're right, this was cold, calculated murder and worse. They proved that Morgoth was indeed their brother in mind and spirit. The very first time I read Mandos' Doom, I hit the roof, and do each time I read it. I absolutely couldn't stand the Valar after that, most of them anyhow, and really do not get the apologists. It's the coldest, most pitiless bit of writing I think I've ever read. The Noldor certainly deserve their freedom – and their revenge. Thousands of years of torture, and for what? What were they supposed to learn from it?

I'm still crying at the heart-light. I shall have to brace myself for everything that's coming, and you've already put me through the wringer with this incredible series!

Author's Response:

I've seen people say, Well what could they do after the Kinslaying, and I'm like, well NOT THIS? Because you're right, this was cold, calculated murder and worse. They proved that Morgoth was indeed their brother in mind and spirit. The very first time I read Mandos' Doom, I hit the roof, and do each time I read it. I absolutely couldn't stand the Valar after that, most of them anyhow, and really do not get the apologists. It's the coldest, most pitiless bit of writing I think I've ever read. The Noldor certainly deserve their freedom – and their revenge. Thousands of years of torture, and for what? What were they supposed to learn from it? 

Ugh, I know!  I think what’s also chilling is the power imbalance and the abuse of it.  The Valar are not the Teleri cursing at the Noldor’s backs after the Kinslaying, they are the Powers of the world deliberately using their immense Power to bring about a people’s destruction, just like what they did to Numinor, but Numinor was more obvious since it was immediate destruction.  That’s cold and pitiless.  This is the murder of children in the original host and the unborn to come, not to mention punishing all the adults until the end of their days without any mercy towards repentance (and I am not talking repentance towards regretting leaving Valinor (yuck lol), I mean the Elves who felt remorse over what happened with the Teleri and wished if they could have a second chance they could undo it.  And honestly, I think that’s pretty much every Noldor who drew their sword during the first Kinslaying.  I think the whole thing was a tragic mistake that spiraled out of control, and people should have the chance to regret and also build a life after a mistake that isn’t a cursed life.).

The Valar get me so angry!  I cannot even think about them without wanting to strangle some necks!

I'm still crying at the heart-light. I shall have to brace myself for everything that's coming, and you've already put me through the wringer with this incredible series!

 

And we haven’t even gotten to how much Annatar fucked Celebrimbor up yet.  Oh my god.  This next part of the story is going to hurt so bad :weeps:



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: November 13, 2016 17:59 · For: Chapter 29
You know me. I’ve totally planned to write the scene where Celebrimbor’s heartbeat stops and Gil-galad knows. Ah fuck.

I flippin' guessed :( Because it would make sense. I am going to cry so hard. Starting now. You know this only makes everyone's eventual reunion so much more colossally moving and incredible.

Yes, Gildor managed to hold on until the end. He'll have others, (Elrond, Maglor, Glorfindel) but he has to go through the fires of loss again, as you say. The more you write the more furious I get with the Valar, and Mandos pronouncing the Doom on everyone, even those unborn. No-one can say they did not pay, in spades, for anything they did ;__;

Author's Response:

I flippin' guessed :( Because it would make sense. I am going to cry so hard. Starting now. You know this only makes everyone's eventual reunion so much more colossally moving and incredible. 

I can’t help myself lol But yes, on the flip side the reunion will be great!  (Do you know how many times I’ve used that for comfort to get through writing these kinds of scenes?  Man.  That reunion better be one hell of a party :))

The more you write the more furious I get with the Valar, and Mandos pronouncing the Doom on everyone, even those unborn. No-one can say they did not pay, in spades, for anything they did ;__;

 

Yes this, my god, this!  The Noldor, all of them, had to pay and keep paying again and again.  It makes me so furious too!  It’s awful enough that the Doom was even laid down in the first place, but to have it carry over onto their children?  That makes the Valar no better than Morgoth in my book.  In their own way they murdered them and tortured them by dragging them through to the hot, bitter coals of grief.



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: November 13, 2016 17:25 · For: Chapter 29
Oh, no, I didn't mean Gildor will meet Maglor and Glorfindel now, as I know they're not around yet - but later he surely must (well, he would in Imladris anyhow, but perhaps prior to that?)

Yes, Gil-galad does need some-one now, and so does Gildor. It's very hard to hold onto hope when you have no-one there (although he has a piece of Celebrimbor forever - and you know, after Celebrimbor dies that will somehow be worse, Will his jewel stop throbbing with his heartbeat? Just don't. I can't even handle it yet, and you've not even written it!) Gil-galad only has Galadriel's spite and hate (ugh!) and Gildor only memories of what if...?. So I hope he does stay for a time or at least come back often. I know he was of the Wandering Companies in LOTR, but if he and Gil-galad can give each other a lifeline to cling to, some hope, some succor, it's a long way from nothing at all.

Author's Response:

Oh, no, I didn't mean Gildor will meet Maglor and Glorfindel now, as I know they're not around yet - but later he surely must (well, he would in Imladris anyhow, but perhaps prior to that?) 

Ah, yes, sorry.  Yes, he will meet them before Imladris :)  Gildor sticks around from now on.

although he has a piece of Celebrimbor forever - and you know, after Celebrimbor dies that will somehow be worse, Will his jewel stop throbbing with his heartbeat? Just don't. I can't even handle it yet, and you've not even written it!

You know me.  I’ve totally planned to write the scene where Celebrimbor’s heartbeat stops and Gil-galad knows.  Ah fuck.

“So I hope he does stay for a time or at least come back often. I know he was of the Wandering Companies in LOTR, but if he and Gil-galad can give each other a lifeline to cling to, some hope, some succor, it's a long way from nothing at all.

 

Yes, he stays.  I don’t think he starts wandering again until the end of the SA, which, at that point most of the people he’d come to love die again.  It’s really a testament to his character that he still has so much hope by the Forth Age after all the people’s he’s loved and lost.



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: November 13, 2016 11:05 · For: Chapter 29
Oh, Gildor! Not that I'd forgotten about him but I thought he was just wandering. I'm so glad, because he is a cousin, and Gil-galad is so desperately lonely. If you tell down al the names of those who are gone, there's such a very few left. It must feel so absolutely isolating. And Gil-galad, though he still loves his father (and he will find out that love is not misplaced, please!) has no-one of his blood, no-one close.



Gildor blinked at him, surprised by the question. “Well, one day we will have them back, of course.”

Gil-galad’s brow darkened as he cast his gaze West again. “No. The Valar will never release their souls. They will remain imprisoned unto World’s Ending.”

His eyes snapped down at the feel of Gildor’s hand covering the back of his. He looked up to find Gildor’s face earnest and close, the light of the moon a pale reflection to the white-fire in his eyes. “They will never release the dead, in this you speak true. But say not that we will never see them again. Do not surrender your hope or all of us are doomed. We need your strength in this fight.”

Gil-galad’s mouth parted, “You….you believe we can bring war upon the Valar and open Mandos’ gates?”

Gildor nodded, face grim but determined, harboring no delusions over the cost of such a war. But he did not believe it impossible. He thought they had a chance at winning.

“How?” Hope opened its budding head in his chest. It was a birthing like child labor for it hurt to bear it even as it shattered every concept of beauty in his mind as he beheld it for the first time. He’d believed the dead lost, but now, now he looked into the face of hope and burned for it.

Gildor shook his head, “I do not know the how. I am not clever like that. I cannot work my way to the knot of a problem and untangle it with knowledge alone. That is my father, or a FŽanorion. I only know how to hope. But,” his face fell, the light dimming, “Perhaps I am a fool after all to hope so.”

“You have given me hope.” Gil-galad had no words to express the gift Gildor had passed to him like sharing light through a kiss.


I remember Gildor telling Elrohir everything, at last giving him hope after thousands of years, even though it seems now that Gildor doubts himself, he must have found and clung to his hope. Perhaps he met Maglor and Glorfindel, too? Maglor would definitely be a polarizing presence, because I can't imagine anyone alive wanting to fight for his kin's souls quite so much as Maglor, especially as the Doom continues to winnow them down, Gil-galad, Celebrimbor...;__;



Author's Response:

“Oh, Gildor! Not that I'd forgotten about him but I thought he was just wandering. I'm so glad, because he is a cousin, and Gil-galad is so desperately lonely. If you tell down al the names of those who are gone, there's such a very few left. It must feel so absolutely isolating. And Gil-galad, though he still loves his father (and he will find out that love is not misplaced, please!) has no-one of his blood, no-one close. 

Yes, so so true.  I really thought that Gil-galad had to have a part of his family close now.  Before, it had been enough that he had the memory and legacy of them, but after what happened with Galadriel…no, he’s physically needs a pieces of his family near.  It would have been ideal if it could have been Celebrimbor, but Celebrimbor has his own duties just like Gil-galad has his.  Gildor will keep him going strong though and filled with hope :)

I remember Gildor telling Elrohir everything, at last giving him hope after thousands of years, even though it seems now that Gildor doubts himself, he must have found and clung to his hope. Perhaps he met Maglor and Glorfindel, too? 

Well, actually Glorfindel and Maglor aren’t on the scene yet (I have written everything out of order, so this is still early early SA, sorry!).  Gildor does doubt himself, yes.  He was so full of hope before Nargothrond fell, so firm in his belief that they would come out victorious, that hope would carry them through to the darkness’ over side and into the light of a new dawn.  But that didn’t happen.  He has lost everyone he’d ever loved at this point, and I have no doubt he’s blaming himself and being eaten alive with survivor’s guilt.  If only he’d thrown his voice in with Gwindor’s and helped evacuate the city….if only he’d encouraged Findulous to take her daughter and escape….if only if only if only….but Gil-galad, for all his doubts in his own ability to comfort, will be good for Gildor because he knows about self-blame and survivor’s guilt, having faced them himself already, and I think he will be able to help Gildor throw off this shadow and become again who’d been born to be :)

 

Thank you so much for the review :hugs:



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: November 13, 2016 10:38 · For: Chapter 28

Well Either Celebrimbor has changed or my memory of him is blurred. (It could well be.It is a long time since I read any Celebrimbor. ) But I do not remember him being so.....confident. Perhaps it is just the removal of his father that has allowed him to become this person he is now. I remember him being all tied up in knots, desperate for his father's attention. Celebrimbor and Curufin never had a great relationship for very complex reasons. I know Celebrimbor suffers badly the loss of Curufin but reading him here so very Feanorian it does seem he has flourished with that almost toxic influence over his life gone. (I don't mean Curufin was toxic per se, but the father/son relationship certainly was.) The opposite of Feanor/Curufin really. 

Celebrimbor and Gil-Galad surprised me here. I did not expect this. Celebrimbor definitely felt the older, wiser one. This had a definite strong Feanor/Fingolfin vibe for me. 

The whole time I read this I had Celebrimbor's eventual fate circulating through my mind and it was heartbreaking. Both for him, and Gil-Galad. 

P.S. We will have to agree to disagree re Galadriels punishment not being as cruel as Curufins. To me personally, probably because I am a Mum, hers is worse. I know Curufin lost his son, and his brothers, and possibly felt responsible for it all....(he was.) and he lost Finrod on top of that. But he did have Celebrimbor for a long time. He had all the experiences raising him, all the small things, all the love. (Though he screwed it all up constantly, but he HAD it.) Galadriel had none of that. Celebrimbor lost his son but he had him. Galadriel not only lost hers she lost all chance of knowing him. All chance of ever knowing he existed. She had everything about him taken from her. 

Curufin will be reunited with Celebrimbor one day and they will mend and repair their relationship. I do not think Galadriel will ever get anything from Gil-Galad. And all those baby memories...those childhood delicious moments. Stolen. Yeah, being a mother that seems worse...far worse... To me.

And Galadriel lost Finrod too. A loss I personally think scarred her badly. And because she had her vision she will at some time know she perhaps could have prevented it. 

So hard to live with. :-( 

 



Author's Response:

“Well Either Celebrimbor has changed or my memory of him is blurred. (It could well be.It is a long time since I read any Celebrimbor. ) But I do not remember him being so.....confident. Perhaps it is just the removal of his father that has allowed him to become this person he is now. I remember him being all tied up in knots, desperate for his father's attention. Celebrimbor and Curufin never had a great relationship for very complex reasons. I know Celebrimbor suffers badly the loss of Curufin but reading him here so very Feanorian it does seem he has flourished with that almost toxic influence over his life gone. (I don't mean Curufin was toxic per se, but the father/son relationship certainly was.) The opposite of Feanor/Curufin really.”

You are right that he has grown into himself a LOT.  And I do think that the break with his relationship with Curufin was one of the factors, which is a really sad thing to say since it hurt them both so terribly, but Celebrimbor was always doubting himself with Curufin, it was like a constant up and down with Curufin, and I don’t for a minute think Curufin meant for their relationship to be this but I think it shared so resemblance to an emotionally abusive one, simply because of who Curufin left Celebrimbor feeling some days, so unsure of his place, even unloved.  Curufin never ever wanted that, but he himself was so damaged that this is what it became, and it would kill him to realize this :(

I also think being forced into a leadership role changed Celebrimbor.  He is now the lord of their people, and has stepped up to the plate to shoulder all those responsibilities.  I think we saw a shadow of who he was becoming in Balar when he went to Gil-galad’s court to get the ships for his people, but we didn’t really focus of him in Duty, so we didn’t see much.  Now tho we are going to see exactly how much he’s changed!

“This had a definite strong Feanor/Fingolfin vibe for me. 

I love love love this!  That they could give you a Feanor/Fingolfin vibe it like the best thing to hear ever, and I did not expect it, but it’s thrilling :)  The never-ending tie between these two Houses :D

“The whole time I read this I had Celebrimbor's eventual fate circulating through my mind and it was heartbreaking. Both for him, and Gil-Galad. 

Oh I know :prepares for the water-works:

“Curufin will be reunited with Celebrimbor one day and they will mend and repair their relationship. I do not think Galadriel will ever get anything from Gil-Galad. And all those baby memories...those childhood delicious moments. Stolen. Yeah, being a mother that seems worse...far worse... To me.

This is a good point.  Before I was thinking about how much more it would hurt Curufin in the moment and the years up to his death to lose Celebrimbor because he was losing something that he knew.  He loved Celebrimbor for Celebrimbor in his entirety, not just the concept of a baby that he held once and would forever mourn but didn’t really know.  In that I think his pain was the greater than Galadriel’s, but what you pointed out here is something I hadn’t thought of: Curufin will have a chance to get Celebrimbor back, whereas Galadriel will never have that chance.  Anything she builds with Gil-galad will be the shadow to the relationship she could have had had she known him from birth. 

Still I think her punishment was pretty much the only thing Fingon and Maedhros could have done save killing her, and other than Turgon, Elves did not use execution to punish crimes.  The reason they could not have used the banishment/Ghost punishment is because Galadriel would have been welcomed back into Doriath just fine like nothing had happened and come for Gil-galad when Fingon was dead (I think Maedhros did not even consider that he’d still be living once Fingon was dead, he thought they’d die together, and who knows what state Beleriand would be in when Fingon died?  Even a slim chance that Galadriel could get a hold of Gil-galad was too big a chance).  Still, it makes me sad to think of Galadriel never knowing what it was to hold Gil-galad as a little squirming boy or what it was like to tuck him in at night….It makes me thinking about parents who have been incarcerated.  I guess I look at this like Galadriel has been in prison for these years she so lost the years with Gil-galad, but where I think Fingon would have considered restoring her memory of what happened once Gil-galad was an adult and she could no longer hurt him, he and everyone who knew what happened is dead, so the sentence draws out....I do want her memory returned before Gil-galad dies.  I had thought for a little while that somehow Gil-galad’s death would rip away the veils over her mind and she would know the truth in that moment, but that’s too cruel, so I want her to know the truth before he dies.  As you said, she will never get those lost years back, those are gone forever, but what she does with her knowledge will be her own choices.  While Gil-galad will want nothing to do with her at first, if she could only love him and stop….well, being herself for a moment, he might love her back….but that’s the problem isn’t it?  She cannot stop being herself, so I am doubtful that they will be able to build any kind of relationship. 

 

Thank you for the review :hugs:



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: November 12, 2016 21:40 · For: Chapter 28
Thank you thank you :) But sad, yes, terribly sad…it would have been different if Celebrimbor had been able to give Gil-galad Fingon back, unstained by doubts, but he couldn’t, and so Gil-galad is left in the same place, tho not quite for he has encountered fire and now wears it about his neck, over his heart. I think even the memory of Celebrimbor would be enough to push back the shadows when they creep too close. I wish tho that Celebrimbor had been able to stay and really forge a friendships with Gil-galad because they just had so much going on between them, but Gil-galad was right that Celebrimbor needed to take his people away. And honestly, if Celebimbor had a deep friendship with Gil-galad that last years and years I cannot see Annatar ever haven’t gained a foothold with him, and we all know he did :weeps:

Oh, yes, I think you are definitely right about that. There was something so hotly, fiercely despairing about Celebrimbor when he took Gil-galad, such old wounds, but something so raw, never healed. If he had found some-one to pour that into and ground him then I honestly don't think Annatar could have touched him as he did in whatever way he did, sexual or not.

Of course, Celebrimbor would see something in Annatar very close to himself, his craft, his intelligence, and so with no-one else close to him, no-one who understands him (or no-one near him, since Gil-galad is far away) it's not surprising that he allowed Annatar to get close to him :(
Also what a gorgeous Celebrimbor! Exactly how I's imagine him!

Author's Response:

Yes, you are exactly right that Celebrimbor saw something in Annatar, and I think it was the memory of his father and grandfather, and other pieces of his family as well.  He was so lonely, and here comes Annatar who is such a brilliantly skilled craftsman just like his family, with this air about him that put his family to mind, and alone as he was, I think it was inevitable that he fell for Annatar’s deception, because Sauron was very good.  If only Gil-galad and Celebrimbor could have kept forging their friendship how different things would have been for both of them! 



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: November 12, 2016 18:44 · For: Chapter 28
Oh, this is such a magnificent chapter.

I am awed by the way you describe the FŽanorions as still not being healed, still living with their wounds. It is accurate, I think. I hope they find some healing in Ost-in-Edhil – for a while.

I'm so sorry Celebrimbor didn't know anything, but then it does make sense that he didn't, I think.

He startled when fingers closed around his forearm, drawing his eyes instinctively to Celebrimbor’s. He could feel the warmth of Celebrimbor’s palm even through the layer of fabric separating their skin. Celebrimbor did not speak, but he did not have to; he said everything with a single look and squeeze of Gil-galad’s arm: Even Still. Even still we cannot stop loving them. I know.

Yes, Celebrimbor would understand, completely. Curufin's son.

I honestly did not expect their sex; Gil-galad seemed so lost, and Celebrmbor so remote for a while after, but by god, that was just amazing

Gil-galad couldn’t suppress a groan. He wanted. And it felt so very very good. His body lusted and didn’t care for the battle waging in his mind. He said between teeth clenched in their fight against the pleasure, “I will not be taken.”

Celebrimbor lifted his head and met his eyes for the first time since their kiss. There was wildness and hunger inside them, and Gil-galad found he could not look away. “Why?”

Gil-galad’s mouth worked, seeking the words to wrap about the wrongness of it in his head and the desire for it in his body. “I am king,” he finally said, and it was wholly inadequate. How did one say that they had had to be strong, as unyielding as Mithril, as unbending as a mountain’s top from before they knew what it was to desire another in this way so that when they felt the first stirrings of course, of course they would be dominate, always, for they were king and kings do not spread their legs?

Celebrimbor held his gaze for a long moment. The window was at his back. His silver circle had been unseated in their fight, but his earrings swung, catching the light, yet none spilled onto his face so his eyes seemed all the brighter and more beguiling with their inner light blazing inside the darkness of his irises. He said, voice soft yet powerful as an enchantment and seeming to reach right through Gil-galad’s flesh to work itself deep inside him, “Am I not your equal, then, Gil-galad Fingolfinion?”

Gil-galad’s breath caught. They stared at each other, the moment stretching on until Gil-galad finally found his voice to answer: “You are more than my equal. You are blood.”


That was beautiful. And yes, this is so much more than just sex; there's something so poignantly, fiercely sad about it. They're blood, and their people and they have gone through so much, how could it be anything but so desperately, violently sad. You wrote the whole history of the FinwŽions into that act of sex. That's just masterful.

Celebrimbor let the necklace fall into Gil-galad’s hand. The gem was the perfect balance of weight between over-large and gaudy, and a stone so insubstantial its weight was insignificant enough to be invisible. The gem rested in the cup of his palm. Its warmth, as if the gem had human flesh, struck him first, and then it pulsed, an inner-light illuminating its core for the space of heart’s beat before it returned to its faÁade of a simple, innocent gem.

“What is…?” Gil-galad looked up, but his words trailed off. Celebrimbor’s hand rested against his own chest, right over his heart. Gil-galad understood and was rocked with wonder.

“Yes,” Celebrimbor said, meeting his awed gaze. “It is mine. This way you will always have a piece of our family near.”


This chapter makes me cry, all of it. Everything is there, everything of their heritage, and also their future, two magnificent FinwŽions, both doomed to awful deaths. There seems to be foreshadowing of that in this, and it really made me cry, there is such a lot of depth and facets here. Brava!

Author's Response:

“I am awed by the way you describe the Fëanorions as still not being healed, still living with their wounds. It is accurate, I think. I hope they find some healing in Ost-in-Edhil – for a while. 

It makes me sad too :(  But I am glad it turned out believably in the story!  And yes, I think they do finally find their healing in Ost-in-Edhil….for a time. (This makes me want to punch Sauron in the face!)

I'm so sorry Celebrimbor didn't know anything, but then it does make sense that he didn't, I think. 

Yeah, while I didn’t want to spoil anything for this chapter, I think it would be unrealistic for Maedhros to have told Celebrimbor.  Maybe, if the Tears had never happened…but in those years just after Gil-galad’s birth Celebrimbor was in Nargothrond and when he finally came back to his uncles after Doriath, well, I doubt Maedhros could have talked about Fingon and Gil-galad even if he’d wanted to :(

That was beautiful. And yes, this is so much more than just sex; there's something so poignantly, fiercely sad about it. They're blood, and their people and they have gone through so much, how could it be anything but so desperately, violently sad. You wrote the whole history of the Finwëions into that act of sex. That's just masterful. 

Omg!  Thank you so much for this :blushs:  I love that loved it!

This chapter makes me cry, all of it. Everything is there, everything of their heritage, and also their future, two magnificent Finwëions, both doomed to awful deaths. There seems to be foreshadowing of that in this, and it really made me cry, there is such a lot of depth and facets here. Brava!

 

Thank you thank you :)  But sad, yes, terribly sad…it would have been different if Celebrimbor had been able to give Gil-galad Fingon back, unstained by doubts, but he couldn’t, and so Gil-galad is left in the same place, tho not quite for he has encountered fire and now wears it about his neck, over his heart.  I think even the memory of Celebrimbor would be enough to push back the shadows when they creep too close.  I wish tho that Celebrimbor had been able to stay and really forge a friendships with Gil-galad because they just had so much going on between them, but Gil-galad was right that Celebrimbor needed to take his people away.  And honestly, if Celebimbor had a deep friendship with Gil-galad that last years and years I cannot see Annatar ever haven’t gained a foothold with him, and we all know he did :weeps:



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: November 12, 2016 18:35 · For: Chapter 27

Ooh! Loved your review answer about Galadriel! 

Two things.... 

First, just a question for you which popped into my mind reading your review reply. You were saying, looking back, perhaps Galadriel had been punished in a manner that was harsher than others. Could that be because she is female? Females....especially in politics, and this was a political game Galadriel was playing.... Tend to be judged more harshly than men. Held to higher account. Where Men are determined, resourceful, standing up for what they believe in, Women are scheming, calculating, untrustworthy. (Now I am the first to say I could be being influenced directly by your election here which is why this idea came to me in the first place), but this phenomenon happens even here and we have had female Prime Ministers. Their behaviour is always held to higher account than our male leaders and much more likely to be seen as negative.

Galadriel's behaviour was vicious. She had a goal and went for it and it shocks us.. But would that really shock us as much if it were Maedhros...Maglor... Curufin?? 

Just a question to ponder :-) You are right when you say she was a soul who needed a lot of time to come to regret and understanding. 

And second:

I have been concentrating on someone needing to know what happened but something you said just made me wonder...Galadriel obviously has some memories of the "rape" and has drawn the wrong conclusions. So they must be patchy, but perhaps Maeglins spell is not holding true....perhaps it is giving way over time? Galadriel has a strong powerful mind after all. What if no one knows but the spell collapses and Galadriel regains the memories by herself? What would she do then? Would she tell Gil-Galad? And if she did tell him would it be a magnanimous gesture to clear the memory of his father from a false accusation or would it be greedy, to claim her son for herself? 

That's all for now!

will read the new chapter later today hopefully! 



Author's Response:

“You were saying, looking back, perhaps Galadriel had been punished in a manner that was harsher than others. Could that be because she is female? Females....especially in politics, and this was a political game Galadriel was playing.... Tend to be judged more harshly than men. Held to higher account. Where Men are determined, resourceful, standing up for what they believe in, Women are scheming, calculating, untrustworthy.

I actually asked myself if I was writing her like this because she was female.  I am not in denial over the fact I have internalized misogynistic thoughts, though I’ve been battling them for years (as most of us do) and have gotten better, I think.  But I have to ask myself these questions when I write female characters.

I think the words scheming or the way I describe her as weaving webs are things that describe someone who is not only cunning and clever and good at understanding politics, but for someone who uses their cunning to harm others (or just doesn’t care if others are harmed in their climb to power/goals).  For instance, I wouldn’t use those words to describe Maedhros even tho he’s very politically savvy and makes a lot of political maneuverings because I don’t see him stabbing people in the back or climbing over bodies to reach his goals (I don’t throw the Kinslaying into this pile because they are so obviously motivated by the Oath to me, I don’t know how people can think anything else when they look at Maedhros’ actions through the whole of the rest of cannon!). 

I would say that the male character closest to Galadriel’s is Curufin, for I would call him a schemer who used his cunning for revenge just like her.  So then I thought about what his punishment was for what he did and compared it to Galadriel’s and actually I think Curufin was punished worse.  I think about Curufin after being kicked out of Nargothrond.  He lost his son, his most prized possessions –things Celebrimbor and Feanor and his Dwarf friend gave him—his dignity, for he sunk very far, his hope, even his people in cannon.  He has been left with the dregs of himself, just a shadow, but his punishment doesn’t end there, does it?  What he did in Nargothrond keeps reaping a bitter harvest, for Nargothrond does not come to the Tears and so it might be argued that this is the reason they lost the battle and their homes with it.  But even then his punishment is not over because what he and Celegorm did with Luthian passed down in bad blood to Dior and may be the reason he would not surrender the Silmaril, and thus Curufin’s actions in Nargothrond led to the second Kinslaying and his own death as well as the death of his two brothers.

Looking at it like this, Galadriel definitely got the easier punishment, especially since Fingon and Maedhros never knew she’d start remembering scraps of what happened.

I am trying to think of other characters similar to Galadriel….Irime does have similarities, but her punishment was entirely of her own making.  She had chance upon chance to stop being the person she was, and she squandered them all.  That she lost Glorfindel’s love was entirely her own doing.  I would describe her as scheming too, but again, that is because her plotting led to harm befalling others more than her gender I think….

I wondered what would have happened if Galadriel had been the man in the equation with Fingon, and I think a man would have been met with violence rather than the punishment of memory loss.  I can see someone –Fingon or Maedhros—killing Galadreil in a moment of sheer rage and hurt over what she/he did to them had she been a man.  Or maybe Galadreil wouldn’t have died, but there would have been a physically fight/lashing out against her/him, or like, this is gruesome, but I could see Fingon cutting Galadriel’s cock off in punishment for raping him.  So yeah, violent response.  Cuz I think Fingon does have a lot of hurt inside over what happened to him, and if Galadreil were a man, I think Fingon would not feel the constraint of holding back as he does with a woman (Noldor culture would have taught a man not to raise his hand to a woman, and I think domestic abuse was a lot less common amongst their (any Elven) culture than ours).

“Galadriel's behaviour was vicious. She had a goal and went for it and it shocks us.. But would that really shock us as much if it were Maedhros...Maglor... Curufin?? 

This makes me think about this post I read not long ago.  It got me furious because it was equating Elwing’s actions with Feanor’s and saying the only reason Feanor fans have a problem with Elwing is because she’s a woman.  It was saying that Elwing’s choices were not half as bad as Feanor’s, for while she abandoned her children he had his swear an Oath that if broken condemned them to the Void.  And all I can think is that if Feanor had abandoned his sons when they were young and vulnerable to anything –an approaching army he knew very well would probably kill them, in the wild, to the Valar—I would dislike him as a character just as much as I dislike Elwing.  The difference that is so key between Feanor and Elwing’s actions is that Elwing’s sons were children and Feanor’s were grown adults who made their own choices. Feanor was not holding a knife against their throats and telling them ‘swear or else,’ in fact, in cannon, it does not say that he encouraged them to swear the Oath with him in anyway, they volunteered themselves.  And while yes, love for him moved them, that is nothing like abandoning your children to death. 

Sorry, this comparison between male and female characters got me thinking about this.  I’d like to think though if a woman acts in a way that I don’t like, it’s her actions and not her gender that plays a role in my dislike.  I know this is not always true because, like I said, I’ve got internalized misogynistic thoughts like many other women, but I am trying to keep my eye out of these kinds of things.  I think the problem with me and Tolkien women is just that I don’t like most of them or find them boring, but this is true for plenty of Tolkien men too, and there are women I do like like Eowyn.  If I look at Eowyn I would never say that she’s a schemer trying to ensnare Aragorn’s eye so that she might because queen of Gondor, because that’s not who her character is, and it has nothing to do with her being a woman or a man.  Whereas with Galadriel I do see her as thirsty for rule and power, but I don’t think these things in themselves are bad, and actually I want to like her because in some ways she’s badass, but I can’t because of the way she goes about attaining that power and rule and what she does with it once she gets it.  In cannon I read her and Celeborn’s takeover of Lothlorien in a very negative light, and I read her use of her power over the minds around her negatively as well.  She has incredible power in the Third Age, far more than most of those around her, in fact if we look at the Elves still alive in the 3rd Age she is the most powerful, but while I appreciate that she did something about Suaron in Dol Guldur, I cannot help seeing her dipping into the minds around her as an abuse of power.

Sorry this reply is getting really long!  But let me answer this:

“What if no one knows but the spell collapses and Galadriel regains the memories by herself? What would she do then? Would she tell Gil-Galad? And if she did tell him would it be a magnanimous gesture to clear the memory of his father from a false accusation or would it be greedy, to claim her son for herself? 

For this I am just going to copy and paste something I answered to another reviewer if that’s alright?

“If Galadriel ever found out, would she do the decent thing and tell him?

Well, in this, actually I think she would.  Gil-galad is her son, and she will love him when/if she ever remembers, so she will tell him the truth because she wouldn’t want to leave him in pain, but also, more selfishly, because she’d want him to know her as his mother.  Actually, I even think she’d tell him if she hadn’t been his mother but only a distant cousin, and closer cousin to Fingon.  She and Fingon were never close, and her and Gil-galad aren’t either, but for all her dislike of Fingon, for all she raped him and judged his rights to his own body as less important than her clinging to hate of the Fëanorions (because while she did what she did to save Finrod, she didn’t have to choose that path to save Finrod.  She could have, you know, just told Fingon about her vision.  But no, of course she didn’t because he loved a Feanorion).  But even after all that Fingon and Gil-galad were still family, still part of Finwe’s House, and as much as she dislikes them, as much as she has spent years trying to usurp Gil-galad’s throne from him, she has never once thought of hiring an assassin to kill him.  Some small part of her cares that he is blood of her blood, and that part of her, I think, would move her to tell Gil-galad the truth about Fingon even if Gil-galad were not her son.  However, she would not tell the whole truth.  She would not sacrifice herself to restore Gil-galad’s peace of mind.  She would tell Gil-galad Fingon was not a rapist, but not that she herself had been the rapist instead.

 

Thank you so much for the continued discussion :)  



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: November 11, 2016 19:12 · For: Chapter 27

Ah—well this is a fortunate blackmailing if ever there was one! A ray of hope for Gil-Galad.

But will Celebrimbor know anything? 

He was close to Maeglin. Did Maeglin tell him something because I can not see Maedhros saying a word. I just can't see him betraying Fingon's confidence, even to his nephew....maybe to Maglor, but only Maglor. Perhaps I am wrong though. 

One thing is for sure, Gil-Galad needs to know the answer to this because it is messing with his mental health.

And I am already feeling sorry for Galadriel when she finds this out because I think it will crush her. (I know she deserves everything she gets and her behaviour has been deplorable...but....oh it just seems too cruel) I do get Fingon and Maedhros' reasoning for wiping her memories but speaking as a mother....taking a woman's memory of her child away, well is there anything worse you can do?? 

And to find out you were not raped as you thought but were—in fact—the rapist....perhaps this is where she begins to change because, unless you are changing things wildly, (perhaps you are) she does have to end up working with Gil-Galad at one point during Annatar and the rings creation. 

But then I just remembered you have Celebrimbor creating those rings deliberately!

oh can't wait for that!! 



Author's Response:

But will Celebrimbor know anything? 

He was close to Maeglin. Did Maeglin tell him something because I can not see Maedhros saying a word. I just can't see him betraying Fingon's confidence, even to his nephew....maybe to Maglor, but only Maglor. Perhaps I am wrong though.”

I don’t want to spoil anything!!!  But I will just say that your guess about Maglor knowing is probably the best because Maedhros would tell him if he told anyone, but did he ever tell anyone?  Now that is to be seen ;)  As for Maeglin, I don’t think he and Celebrimbor ever talked after Celebrimbor stayed in Nargothrond (Galadriel spun her plot between the Flame and the Tears).  That’s really sad to think about :(  How I wish Celebrimbor had been able to take Maeglin with him when he left Gondolin!

And I am already feeling sorry for Galadriel when she finds this out because I think it will crush her. (I know she deserves everything she gets and her behaviour has been deplorable...but....oh it just seems too cruel) I do get Fingon and Maedhros' reasoning for wiping her memories but speaking as a mother....taking a woman's memory of her child away, well is there anything worse you can do?? 

I think she should get a second chance too.  Now, that is.  At the time I think Fingon and Maedhros did the right thing because they acted to protect Gil-galad, but Gil-galad isn’t a child anymore and can take care of himself.  I think Galadriel did need to be punish for what she did, because a rapist shouldn’t walk off and the leave the body of their victim without a backwards glance or care (and that’s exactly what she would have done in the mind-set she was at at that time; she wasn’t in a place where she would have felt the horror of her own crime or come to a place of regret on her own), it was a harsh punishment to lose even the memory of Gil-galad.  I’ve been thinking about this a bit actually, and it would have been best if she had just lost rights to Gil-galad instead of the memory entirely, but Fingon’s hands were pretty tied because of politics at that time and the uncertainly of the war.  He had to make absolutely sure that if he died Galadreil wouldn’t have been able to claim any rights over Gil-gald, which she would have otherwise.  While Noldorin society was restrictive of a mother’s rights to her child in Valinor and gave preference to the father, the mother’s right would have come before, say Turgon or Finrod’s rights to raise Gil-galad if Fingon died, so Gil-galad’s raising would have gone to Galadreil, and Fingon couldn’t allow that to happen.  So he didn’t have a lot of options but to take the memory of Gil-galad from her.

I think tho that like a prisoner will be released from prison after they had done their time and given a second chance, so too should Galadreil have the memory of Gil-galad returned to her.  What she does with that returned memory will be up to her, and we will see if she has changed for the better and is horrified by what she did or justifies her actions or not.  However, at the moment we know of no one for sure that even knows Galadriel has a repressed memory, so we shall see what happens :)

(Perhaps I am being too harsh with Galadriel’s character…I have questioned my need to see her punished as I did because there are other characters in the story who also committed atrocities, but I guess I feel like I needed to see this for her because I don’t trust in her own conscious to have dealt her any kind of blow.  I feel like she would have just kept on going, all self-righteous vengeance, and not once thought about how she’d hurt Fingon or that what she’d done could never be justified.  I feel like with other characters they had that something inside of them that would bring them to their knees with the weight of their own guilt eventually, but other’s didn’t….I am thinking about Mórivo too from Duty who sexually abused others and he was punished by being sentenced to the life of a Ghost for decades, and it took that long for him to stop running from what he had become and start the process of true change and remorse….I guess some people just need that time of blatant punishment for their actions to see that no, no what they were doing was in no way excusable no matter that reason behind it: Mórivo’s own rape or Galadriel’s desire to save Finrod, neither justified what they did).

And to find out you were not raped as you thought but were—in fact—the rapist....perhaps this is where she begins to change

Oh yes, finding out the truth like this is going to be one of the main elements to her first steps on the paths of change (tho I think it will be the walk of an Age before she becomes the woman who can let the One Ring go, for the desire for rule and power have been with her since she was young).

 

Thanks so much for the review, it got me thinking and working through more what I feel about Galadriel :)



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: November 11, 2016 18:57 · For: Chapter 26

I am struggling to keep up with your updates! Your stories need me to wait for a real gap of quiet to read them, not just flick through on my phone during lunch, because there is so much to concentrate on in there! Anyway, it's Saturday morning so here we go.

He was tired. This crown weighted too heavy on his brow. Every morning, when he was alone in his bed – just Gil-galad, not yet the king—he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling as the dawn crept over it. Inside his mouth (never out-loud for he must be strong and kings never give up) his tongue would ache with the words: I don’t want to do this anymore.

This made me sad. Poor, poor Gil-Galad. As I said before I have a real soft spot for him. But he seems very lonely....he has no one. But all kings, I guess, must feel like this at some stage.....if they are good ones. I can imagine Fingon feeling exactly this. 

It was painful to read his insight into his feelings about Elros, but I get where he is coming from and Elros, as a boy was incredibly needy to the point of annoying. He was such a messed up boy. But in my mind now I have the older version of Elros. The Elros after the war, after his choice had been made...or not as the case may be. Elros grown InTo his own self and facing his fate with courage and dignity because in the end he grew into someone impressive.

Reading about this messed up weak "Boy Elros" hurt. And Gil-Galad's assessment and dismissal of him at that time. 

As cruel as Elros' fate was. As nasty as the Valars meddling with him was, in the end it did come across as the making of him. The war helped I think, and Elros' time with his father because he was a boy who really needed a father, but facing his mortality with dignity and grasping what opportunity he had with both hands and achieving something. That was all Elros. I admire him for that. 



Author's Response:

I am struggling to keep up with your updates! Your stories need me to wait for a real gap of quiet to read them, not just flick through on my phone during lunch, because there is so much to concentrate on in there! Anyway, it's Saturday morning so here we go.

It surprised me how quickly Gil-galad’s story came with how slow Glorinfdel’s did.  I was on a writing roll :)  Unfortunately things have petered off a bit :(

“But all kings, I guess, must feel like this at some stage.....if they are good ones. I can imagine Fingon feeling exactly this. 

Yes, I think this is true.  There is a certain isolation that comes with the burden of that kind of power and responsibility.

“The war helped I think, and Elros' time with his father because he was a boy who really needed a father, but facing his mortality with dignity and grasping what opportunity he had with both hands and achieving something. That was all Elros. I admire him for that. “

I am glad you do :)  I agree too that he really grew into himself, it was both the war and his time with Eariendil.  It wasn’t that Maglor didn’t love him, but I think Elros also suffered with the doubts Ereidnel and Elwing’s abandonment planted in him.  He always wondered why he and Elrond weren’t enough to come back to or choose over the Silmaril.  But when Earendil did come back, and started pouring love into him as well as explaining what happened with Elwing and the Kinslaying, Elros was able to find peace at last.  He really shouldn’t have been in a relationship with Gil-galad at that time in his life.  He wasn’t ready, and Gil-galad wasn’t either.  But who Elros grew into was a man of strength and confidence, and Gil-galad did respect him and I think admire him then, and want to try again and see what happened between them, but then, of course, the Choice happened (not that it was any choice).  It just never worked out between them.

 

Thanks so much for these reviews, Cheeky :hugs:



Name: mangacrack (Signed) · Date: November 07, 2016 14:34 · For: Chapter 27

I love that we get a glimpse of Gil-galads life. It's far more complicated than I thought. He's lost, I guess. Searching for answer and I'm not talking about the current question that plagues his mind. He feels disconnected. Maybe even a little depressed, reeling from the war, his upbringing and frankly, the lack of true friends. As in a best friend, a companion who would go down with you. Who would sit in the prison cell beside you, suffer through everything but remaining at your side anyways. 
I guess that's something Gil-galad never had, never got to experience. The only family he ever knew was mostly Feanorians (counting the twins here) and while they live and breath that love and connection I don't think Gil-galad can admit that he wants exactly that. Probably because of Elros. I wonder, is that love? Could it be, and not just attraction of two young, lonely souls? I wonder if Elros moved on by now. On the other hand Elros lived for 400years. 
Nope. As much as I enjoy the tragedy of these two, the possibility of what could have been, I hope Gil-galad finds someone else. If there's someone for him. Pairing him is kind of difficult. Not much people left capable of treating him as an equal. 
*looks at Celebrimbor* 
I'm not sure if I'll survive it if these two get along, romantic or friendship wise just to have it end like THAT. Celebrimbor's death is one of the most depressing in the whole Silmarillion. But I'm looking forward to what happens next. 



Author's Response:

I love that you were able to feel that missing something in Gil-galad’s life.  He does have something to live for, and he does have people who are positive influences on his life, but he doesn’t have that depth of companionship that he needs.  I think it is the missing place of family in his life.  He doesn’t really have anything but memories left of true family.  And give how powerful the bonds of his family stretch, that is a massive loss.

Nope. As much as I enjoy the tragedy of these two, the possibility of what could have been, I hope Gil-galad finds someone else. If there's someone for him. Pairing him is kind of difficult. Not much people left capable of treating him as an equal.  
*looks at Celebrimbor*  
I'm not sure if I'll survive it if these two get along, romantic or friendship wise just to have it end like THAT. Celebrimbor's death is one of the most depressing in the whole Silmarillion. But I'm looking forward to what happens next. “

I don’t know if I should say anything to this because I don’t want to spoil anything!  But I do love that you pointed out that Celebrimbor is one of the only people left who can meet Gil-galad as an equal!  You read my mind in this :)

But gods, yes, Celebrimbor death is one of the most tragic.  I find it so because of the betrayal.  He didn’t just die in battle, which would have been horrible enough, he was tortured to death by someone he’d once been deceived into thinking a friend!  Can you image what he was thinking during those months of torture?  Too awful to handle :(

 

Thank you for the review!  Especially since I remember you said you were doing Nano this month, so you must be all kinds of busy :)



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: November 06, 2016 22:15 · For: Chapter 27
Wait, what? You're mean, lol!

Oh gosh, I know there is a lot!! But after the SA is through we are off to the final installment of the series!

That was NOT a complaint :D I know I said I was missing FŽanor and FIngolfin, and of course I am (and the others) but I'm loving this, too! I'm loving it all :)

Author's Response:

Wait, what? You're mean, lol! 

I am thoroughly evil :snorts:

“That was NOT a complaint :D I know I said I was missing Fëanor and FIngolfin, and of course I am (and the others) but I'm loving this, too! I'm loving it all :)

 

Ah yes, I didn’t take it as a complaint (though it’s good to hear how much you enjoy it even though it’s not Feanor and Fingolfin), it was just me have a minor breakdown over how much is left lol  Though, really, compared to how far we’ve come we’re almost there!



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: November 06, 2016 21:56 · For: Chapter 27
I don’t think he ever felt a sense of inferiority, but he would feel the long shadow his grandfather cast, and maybe when he was young he wanted to step out of it and have his own talent recognized, but after Feanor died and Curufin stopped coming to the forge I image what Celebrimbor wanted most was to have back what was lost. He would have given up his hands, the things that would have brought him to greatness and glory, if only he could have Feanor and Curufin back.

Awww :( Yes, I'm sure he would. And I'm interested too, what kind of place he is in now - and what he comes to when Annatar enters the picture. I certainly don't think he ever would feel inferior but recognised for his own talents, yes. And he did craft the Three (among other things such as the Star Glass) which reminds me, how would that get from him to Galadriel, as I don't imagine he has any time for him, or she for him at the moment. *And* she ended up with one of the Three! But he was definitely the power in Ost-in-Edhil, not her since she couldn't get Annatar to leave.

So much to write for you, and so much to read - for me and all of us! *Bounces*

Author's Response:

which reminds me, how would that get from him to Galadriel, as I don't imagine he has any time for him, or she for him at the moment. *And* she ended up with one of the Three! But he was definitely the power in Ost-in-Edhil, not her since she couldn't get Annatar to leave. 

You are absolutely right that he would never give her one of the Rings.  So how oh how did she get one? Hehehehe I am going to leave you in suspense!!!!

So much to write for you, and so much to read - for me and all of us! *Bounces*

 

Oh gosh, I know there is a lot!!  But after the SA is through we are off to the final installment of the series! 



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: November 06, 2016 21:27 · For: Chapter 27
I would say though it was more his father that he wanted to escape than his Feanorion blood and heritage….but it’s been a while since I wrote him in Vengeance 1 so I may be mis-remembering how I wrote him then!

Oh, no you didn't mis-remember. He did seem more to want to get away from his father, and was sick of having to starve for the lack of any real affection and approbation. He just didn't, iirc, seem to think of FŽanor much at all, and it seems sad that what FŽanor became, overshadowed what he was for such a long time: a really wonderful father and grandfather. He did go mad, but that was really a short part of his life, if even with titanic consequences, and even Glorfindel has seen, through Maglor, how lovely FŽanor used to be. (I miss FŽanor and Fingolfin SO much!) but Celebrimbor never seemed to :( Yet as a little lad, he loved him. And I never doubted he loved Curufin, he was just never sure it was reciprocated. Curufin became like black ice, but his destruction when he completely came apat, realizing that his son was never coming back, is such awesome writing that I'll never forget it.
It must have been tough to have been born third generation into such a family and holding yourself to such an impossibly high standard all the time.

But, ah well, fate takes strange paths, so perhaps it was better this way (and definitely in this 'verse because of his future importance in the story).

Author's Response:

Maybe he also didn’t think of Feanor as much because it was too painful.  At that point in the story Feanor was the only one dead….I could see him doing this.  He has a tendency towards trying to repress things that hurt too much to deal with and throw himself into his work with obsessive zeal to try and drown out the pain.  It wouldn’t surprise me at all if he dealt with his grief at this point in his life by not allowing himself to dwell on Feanor, his grandfather, much.  I have absolutely no doubt though that he loved his grandfather terribly.  I think he never felt more loved in his life as when he was with his father and grandfather in the forge back in Valinor.  The memories of those days are so very painful for him in Beleriand though because not only is Feanor dead but the father who raised him is gone as well, since Curufin was never the same after Feanor’s death.

But when we see Celebrimbor again as lord of Eregion, it will be interesting to see what place he’s at mentally.

It must have been tough to have been born third generation into such a family and holding yourself to such an impossibly high standard all the time. 

 

Yes, but with Celebrimbor I don’t think it was ever a matter of not measuring up.  He is very aware of his talent.  He also has a ton of ambition, even when young he wanted to prove himself.  I don’t think he ever felt a sense of inferiority, but he would feel the long shadow his grandfather cast, and maybe when he was young he wanted to step out of it and have his own talent recognized, but after Feanor died and Curufin stopped coming to the forge I image what Celebrimbor wanted most was to have back what was lost.  He would have given up his hands, the things that would have brought him to greatness and glory, if only he could have Feanor and Curufin back.



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: November 06, 2016 20:58 · For: Chapter 27
Celebrimbor is in so much pain at this point in his life, I very much doubt he’s looking for anything but momentary relief from all the grief (as far as he knows he’s the only Feanorion left).

What Celebrimbor needs is a Maglor and a Glorfindel :)

Yes, I keep forgetting this is earlier in the timeline than the previous story, but I really cannot wait until Celebrimbor sees Maglor again, because I will just tear up when they meet!

Still Gil-galad and Celebrimbor are far more well-matched if anything were to happen. I suppose Elros was much too young, but there's something about clingy people that puts me off so much. I've dealt with 2 and it turned stalker-y and repulsive, so I can't deal with it in pairings :/ NOT that it's exactly a trigger :) (I am not a special snowflake!) it just reminded me of them and I got all squeamish for a moment.

Celebrimbor also interests me, because he was so self-absorbed for so long and almost determinedly *not* FŽanorion. I mean of course he was, but he seemed not to like it, yet I remember how much he loved FŽanor when he was a babby, when his own father didn't know how to deal with having a tiny child, FŽanor did, and was wonderful with him. and it just made me sad that he ended up seeming to just want to be free of it all. He seemed not to even remember FŽanor with affection - or was that just a form of self-defense?
It seems that until he rode to Maedhros and Maglor after his father's death (not knowing even then if he was going to stay), might have been the first time he began to accept his heritage.

Sadly, it's the very fact that he is whom he is, that seals his own fate :(

Author's Response:

Yes, I keep forgetting this is earlier in the timeline than the previous story, but I really cannot wait until Celebrimbor sees Maglor again, because I will just tear up when they meet! 

I feel bad about getting things all out of order!  But yes, Celebrimbor needs his family.

Celebrimbor also interests me, because he was so self-absorbed for so long and almost determinedly *not* Fëanorion. I mean of course he was, but he seemed not to like it, yet I remember how much he loved Fëanor when he was a babby, when his own father didn't know how to deal with having a tiny child, Fëanor did, and was wonderful with him. and it just made me sad that he ended up seeming to just want to be free of it all. He seemed not to even remember Fëanor with affection - or was that just a form of self-defense? 
It seems that until he rode to Maedhros and Maglor after his father's death (not knowing even then if he was going to stay), might have been the first time he began to accept his heritage.

It is interesting that you see him as maybe not even having affection for Feanor anymore….I’d say that it might have come across this way so far in the story because we saw him thinking about Feanor in regards to the Oath and how it was affecting Curufin, rather than him thinking about Feanor his grandfather.  He does, indeed, have a deep abiding love for Feanor, the person his grandfather was, but I think it might be hard for him to think about who Feanor was as well because he remembers who Feanor turned into and cannot forget that the Oath destroyed his father. 

 

I would say though it was more his father that he wanted to escape than his Feanorion blood and heritage….but it’s been a while since I wrote him in Vengeance 1 so I may be mis-remembering how I wrote him then!  But he does love his father, so so much, but Curufin was so messed up and so controlling and sparse with any sign of affection for Celebrimbor by the end of things that he deeply hurt Celebrimbor, I do think Celebrimbor has forgive Curufin, forgave him the moment his father rode out of Nargothrond, but never made the step to re-connect with Curufin because he knew how things were not going to change with Curufin, he was lost, and I think Celebrimbor couldn’t keep living through what being Curufin’s son was like at that point anymore.  But I do believe that he came to regret ever parting from his father and Celegorm after they died.  He missed the last years of his father’s life.  But I wonder if it wasn’t for the best in the end that he stayed in Nargorhtornd….though it destroyed what was left of Curufin to loose him...and yet if Celebrimbor had gone he probably would have been involved in the Kinslayings, maybe would have died, and that would have been the end of the House of Feanor.  Either he would have died in the FA or he would have been mad like Maglor.  And he is so vitality essential to the future, to freeing them all from Mandos, that in the end it is best he chose the path he did so he could live and learn what he needed to learn and create the Rings of Power.
 



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: November 06, 2016 20:25 · For: Chapter 27
Oh, is it Celebrimbor? It would make so much sense, because his father loved a FŽanorion too. :)

I'm sorry to say Elros kind of repulsed me in Gil-galad's memory too, maybe because I hate clinginess. I don't find it attractive in a lover at all :/ Because if Gil-galad kissed Celebrimbor (and when? When? :D We must know! Then I'm not surprised he was wowed. Those FinwŽions!

He is going through such a ghastly time, being so strong through it, I hope Celebrimbor does know something - or some=one does! Woot! What a great couple of chapters!

Author's Response:

I am determined not to spoil anything!  So I will keep you in suspense on whether or not Celebriambor knows anything :)

I'm sorry to say Elros kind of repulsed me in Gil-galad's memory too, maybe because I hate clinginess. I don't find it attractive in a lover at all :/

Ah, well, I think the problem was Elros was too young, and too hurt to really be involved in a relationship like that at that point in his life.  I think he was of age, though it was hard to determine with his heritage, but just barely.  He was too much of a child seeking love.  It wasn’t until he returned from fighting in the War or Wrath that he grew into a man.

“Because if Gil-galad kissed Celebrimbor (and when? When? :D We must know! Then I'm not surprised he was wowed. Those Finwëions!

It’s been a long time since I wrote that brief kiss between them in The Price of Duty, so I am not at all surprised to learn it slipped your mind :)  Gil-galad kissed Celebrimbor in Balar, but nothing ever came of it because it spiraled into a mess because Elros saw, and anyway, Celebrimbor was leaving with his people East so nothing ever developed from there…..and now, well, we shall see.  Celebrimbor is in so much pain at this point in his life, I very much doubt he’s looking for anything but momentary relief from all the grief (as far as he knows he’s the only Feanorion left).

 

Thank you for the review! I am so glad you enjoyed the chapters: D



Name: mangacrack (Signed) · Date: November 06, 2016 19:10 · For: Chapter 25

You know I thought long and hard about your Galadriel. And why she feels raped. I admit that I'm too lazy for the chapters to read it up - mostly because I'd end up re-reading the entire story. Which is not a good thing right not. It's NaNoWriMo and I can't go read fanfic right now. 

But from my point of view, after reading Arc II now, ... perhaps Galadriel planned the whole thing but as you said, she tried to safe Finrod. No matter how horrible her choice was, it doesn't matter that she went into the scenario whole willing. Especially carring a child from a man she didn't love. Doesn't love. ... was she married to Celeborn already at this point? If yes, guilt might mix in. The knowledge of having a child from a person who is her cousin. With her decision she violates Celeborn, Fingon, Gil-galad ... and herself. I image some body horror right there. Moments where she doubts herself, the fate of her child, what it means for her boy.

Perhaps Galadriel was even glad, subconsciously, to forget it happened in the first place. This way she doesn't have to face the consequences of her action. Doesn't have to face her child and the question he might have. That Gil-galad hates her now (and later on) is something else entirely. Gil-galad can hate her for her actions, not for being who she is.

Judgemental words from an adult is something different than hearing it from a child.

No matter what she does, Galadriel just ends up hurting herself. Down at the TA she'll have learned how to make that ... tendency ending up useful. But TA Galadriel just might be punishing herself for past actions. I'll always admire her because she did turn the one ring. I've no doubt that she could've wielded it, defeated Sauron with it ... but at what cost?

Strangle I see her as an very old elf, in TA. Looking young only on the outside but with brittle bones, aching joints and no strength left on the inside. (Elrond only slightly better.) 

God, I hope that Celeborn will get off his high horse one day. Because I can see him holding onto his hate, his bitterness and his apathy. Galadriel deserves love, dammit! I don't understand why some people paint her in such a bad light. Yes, she makes some questionable decisions but if Kinslayers can get a second chance and receive forgiveness ... why can't she?
   



Author's Response:

But from my point of view, after reading Arc II now, ... perhaps Galadriel planned the whole thing but as you said, she tried to safe Finrod. No matter how horrible her choice was, it doesn't matter that she went into the scenario whole willing. Especially carring a child from a man she didn't love. Doesn't love. ... was she married to Celeborn already at this point? If yes, guilt might mix in. The knowledge of having a child from a person who is her cousin. With her decision she violates Celeborn, Fingon, Gil-galad ... and herself. I image some body horror right there. Moments where she doubts herself, the fate of her child, what it means for her boy. 

I don’t think she was married to Celeborn yet.  I do find the idea that she herself could have subconsciously wanted to forgot really fascinating!  A part of her would have wanted to forget what happened because she did feel violated by the act even though she was the rapist in the equation.  But would she have wanted to forget Gil-galad?  No, I don’t think so.  I think she loved him.  She was even the one to give him his name Gil-galad even though I bet she only got to hold him after his birth once before he was taken away.  And also she wouldn’t have wanted to forget because to forget would mean she wouldn’t have a chance at fulfilling her vengeance, and I totally bet she spent the years of her pregnancy plotting vengeance against Fingon.  She would have seen herself as the wronged part –always—and wouldn’t have acknowledged that she had raped Fingon.  Maybe it would have been a kind of self-defense against guilt, I think.  She would keep telling herself to the end that what she’d done to him didn’t matter because he’d been with a lot of women in Valinor, a slut in her judgment, and people like that can’t really be raped, can they?  (This is, of course, not the truth, but rather something people use to justify rape all the time).

No matter what she does, Galadriel just ends up hurting herself. Down at the TA she'll have learned how to make that ... tendency ending up useful. But TA Galadriel just might be punishing herself for past actions. I'll always admire her because she did turn the one ring. I've no doubt that she could've wielded it, defeated Sauron with it ... but at what cost? 

Yes, I agree with you that who she is in the TA is not who she is now.  Right now she could never have turned down the One Ring, and when we see her in the lotr she is exactly as you say: Looking young only on the outside but with brittle bones, aching joints and no strength left on the inside.  I think she probably did have a load of guilt and regrets.  I think that the moment she stopped making excuses for herself and thinking her vengeance righteous and really, clearly, seeing what she has become is the turning point for her (I have some plans for how this happens :)).

“I don't understand why some people paint her in such a bad light. Yes, she makes some questionable decisions but if Kinslayers can get a second chance and receive forgiveness ... why can't she?

I’d like to see who she becomes by the time the Elves take their war on the Valar, because she is one of the more powerful ones and a Ring Bearer so she is going to play a role.  I don’t think she would ever be friendly with the Feanorions, but I wonder if they will be able to work together?

Thanks for the continued discussion :D



Name: Spiced Wine (Signed) · Date: November 06, 2016 19:10 · For: Chapter 25
I am really glad you brought this up because I’d forgotten that the Palantir would look into the past. I thought they could only see things in the present

Oh, yes, you're right. They are in Nķmenor currently. Elendil brought them back to Middle-earth, I believe. Doh, me! Gandalf did speak to Pippin of looking back in time to see FŽanor, but he's Maia, so perhaps he could have done that while others couldn't. (Interesting that, that Gandalf sounded yearning about it; I wonder if he'd be on FŽanor's side?)

Well, please let there be some-one who can tell Gil-galad that his beloved father is not a rapist. Would Maglor know, I wonder. I realise that there were only 3 (beside Galadriel) who knew at the beginning, but I am wondering if Maedhros told Maglor at any point.

Throughout all this history, (and when I first read the SIlm and LOTR) I thought Tolkien did something really boring and stupid having Galadriel survive when one of her brothers would have been so much more interesting. Pffft. Thanks Tolkien, for killing of 99.9 % of all the interesting people and leaving us with the least charismatic and likable :/ I feel like this is the 'real' Galadriel you know, the White Lady persona was worn over some very dubious history.

She didn't tell anyone about Finrod because she hated that Fingon loved a FŽanorion? Because she hated FŽanorions. A true would-be ruler would have put that aside. Anyhow if she loved Finrod so much why was she not in Nargothrond with him?

Author's Response:

Oh, yes, you're right. They are. Elendil brought them back to Middle-earth, I believe. Gandalf did speak to Pippin of looking back in time to see Fëanor, but he's Maia, so perhaps he could have done that while others couldn't. (Interesting that, that Gandalf sounded yearning about it; I wonder if he'd be on Fëanor's side.

I like this suggestion that Galdalf could see the past only because he was a Maia.  The reason I like it is because I am planning something for the Celebrimbor and Annatar story line which would work better if the Palantir could only look into the present, so I am going to keep with it!  And, really, I think it makes more sense that it can’t look back, because why wouldn’t that power have been utilized during the years leading up to the Ring War?  There was still Palantir around, and before Sauron got his hands on one surely someone could have checked out what happened to Isildor and the Ring?  There just seems to be so many loop-holes in the story if the Palantir could look into the past and show the seer whatever they sought, you know?  I think it makes more sense that only means to look into the past or present were iffy, like Galadreil’s mirror.

Well, please let there be some-one who can tell Gil-galad that his beloved father is not a rapist. Would Maglor know, I wonder. I realise that there were only 3 (beside Galadriel) who knew at the beginning, but I am wondering if Maedhros told Maglor at any point.

I am determined not to spoil a thing this time so I will not say!  :ties hands together:  I have such problems with spoilers on my own story I need to learn some self-control lol

She didn't tell anyone about Finrod because she hated that Fingon loved a Fëanorion? Because she hated Fëanorions. A true would-be ruler would have put that aside. Anyhow if she loved Finrod so much why was she not in Nargothrond with him?

 

She didn’t act like a ruler.  And to me, it doesn’t matter that her motive was to save Finrod (well, it does to a point, but I mean that it will never make what she did to Fingon excusable), what she did with her fear of him dying was all wrong.  She should have just told someone what she’d seen and they could have worked together to prevent it.  She could have gone to Nargothrond and told Finrod, she could have told Fingon as the High King, she could have done a lot of different things.  Instead she took her fear of losing her brother and used it to justify raping someone (I don’t think she even acknowledged in her head what she was doing to Fingon was rape).



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: November 06, 2016 3:32 · For: Chapter 25

I am going to have to trawl through and find out exactly who was involved in Gil-Galads birth and that deception....I know Maeglin had a part in it... ...so did Glorfindel know?? I don't think so but I am not sure. So that leaves Maglor. Surely Maglor knew. 

But I can't remember!!!!!



Author's Response:

Welllllll as far as we know from the story up this point only Fingon, Maedhros, and Maeglin knew.  If they ever told anyone else is yet to be seen :D



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: October 31, 2016 5:31 · For: Chapter 25

Oh gosh! Powerful, powerful chapter. Galadriel is such a mess. I felt sorry for her, I really did, when she found Celeborn with the other woman. But she is her own worst enemy as well in her stubborn, stubborn pride. She reminds me of someone.....but I just can't put my finger on who...a Feanorian I think. (She would hate that)

And Gil-Galad, watching his father's memory desecrated like this is so painful. It's wrong Gil-Galad!!! She is not lying but she has it wrong!

who is there around who can tell him the truth of this? Is there anyone???? 

Galadriel, I think must heal and grow somewhat from this to the Galadriel of the Ring War, and I am left wondering.....how does that happen? 



Author's Response:

“But she is her own worst enemy as well in her stubborn, stubborn pride.

Yes, this exactly.  To think, a lot of the suffering she goes through is because of her own actions.  She’s the one who did that to Fingon.  She’s the one who estranged her own daughter.  It wasn’t her fault that her brothers died, no, but quite a few of the other griefs in her life are the work of her own hands.

“And Gil-Galad, watching his father's memory desecrated like this is so painful. It's wrong Gil-Galad!!! She is not lying but she has it wrong!

It was really painful to write!  Let me tell you!  And yes, Galadriel is not lying (as far as she is aware) but she’s wrong!

“who is there around who can tell him the truth of this? Is there anyone???? 

That is the question…..I don’t want to give anything away though!

“Galadriel, I think must heal and grow somewhat from this to the Galadriel of the Ring War, and I am left wondering.....how does that happen? 

Yes, you are right, she is not the same woman then as she is now.  I really think the key to her slow evolution is her having to come face to face with how low her pursuit of vengeance has driven her.  Until she can face that, face herself, then I don’t think she can ever stop herself from continuing to walk down this ever spirally path of hate and vengeance and pain.

 

Thank you so much for these reviews!  I am so happy you enjoyed the chapters :hugs:



Name: cheekybeak (Signed) · Date: October 31, 2016 5:10 · For: Chapter 24

Celebrian! You go girl!!

lovely to see her fire come to light. Galadriel is too blind to see the real fire that resides within her daughter.

 

I am feeling so sorry for Celebrian, her parents are a mess and despite the fact she is relatively happy in her Teleri world she looks upon this rebellious spirit she has as something bad...a negative...when it actually is not. I do wonder how this Celebrian will cope in Imladris. And how she manages to raise such a firey Noldor son in Elrohir.

As for Elrond—what an arse!  Damn Celebrian, he is not good enough for you girl! 

Elrond always has had a tendency to be a bit snobby. 

Even more after this chapter I want Gil-Galad and Celebrian to know they are brother and sister. Together they could really achieve something great amongst these racially divided elves. 

Really impressed with Gil-Galad! 



Author's Response:

I am so glad you liked Celebrain!  I really enjoyed writing her break free and becoming one step closer to being her own woman :)

when it actually is not. I do wonder how this Celebrian will cope in Imladris. And how she manages to raise such a firey Noldor son in Elrohir.

Well, I think the key is that she is not yet done growing :)  She is actually only just barely of age now, s she has a long way to go!

As for Elrond—what an arse!  Damn Celebrian, he is not good enough for you girl! 

Elrond always has had a tendency to be a bit snobby.”

Oh, yes, he can be, I think.  I think the thing about Elrond right now is that he has just spent a hundred years living amongst Elves who are determined to break him.  They are quite sure they think they know what’s good for him, and clinging onto Feanorions are not it.  And when he didn’t let the Feanorions go, he became used to being looked down on and having other Elves, like Galadreil, sneer at him, or turn their noses up, or pity him, whatever the case.  He sees Celebrain only as an extension of Galadreil at this point, and while he of all people should know not to judge another by their parents, he is also young enough right now, and hurting enough that he forgets this (he has only lost Elros to Numinor and the approaching death of Mortality 50 years ago and has not come to peace with it yet; he hasn’t visited Elros on Numinor yet either, so he’s not really in a good place himself right now.  Still in a lot of pain)

But you are right that he does, at this point in his life, see the world though a filter that pre-judges a lot of people based on past people like them he’s met before.  I suspect it’s a defense mechanism, built up over a hundred years of hurts and insults and people he’d thought he could trust, though were his friends, that turned out to be nothing of the sort.  He is not going to let anyone into his life now unless they can accept his love for the Feanorions wholly.  He is so done with people who only give half-friendship that turns out to be hinged upon him giving up his Feanorion fathers and labeling them monsters. 

Really impressed with Gil-Galad! 

 

Yay!  Because I really loved writing him!  He’s grown on me by leaps and bounds :D



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