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The Price of Vengeance I by Encairion Explicit
A novella of the House of Finwë from the Darkening of Valinor through the end of the First Age. “Vengeance calls...
The song of tomorrow by Nuredhel Explicit
The past reaches out towards the future...A living mystery is being delivered to the king of Mirkwood as a gift and a strange...
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Strength isn’t just about how much you can handle before you break. It’s also about how much you must handle...
Child of Frost by Nuredhel Explicit
ometimes the end is just that, the end. And sometimes it is a new beginning. When a prophecy seemingly seems to be a lie...
The Black Arrow by ziggy General Audiences
Thranduil strikes a bargain with his fiery neighbour. Smaug is dead and Esgaroth is devastated. Thranduil arrives with help The...
Elegy for Númenor - Volume 1: Journey to Umbar by elfscribe Mature
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Shoutbox

Spiced Wine
07/27/17 09:41 am
Oh, I am so very sorry to hear about Nightwing. One of the first stories I ever read, and she was also such a lovely person. :(
ziggy
07/26/17 11:37 pm
@Naledi, I left a review on To See A World on ffnet, just felt I had to mark her passing in some way.
Spiced Wine
07/26/17 07:57 pm
I hope you had a wonderful time, Alquien {{Hugs}}
Alquien
07/26/17 03:23 pm
Hi everyone! I'm back, and I had a great time! Now to unpack, nap and eat some more lol -- back eventually! ::hugs to all::
Naledi
07/25/17 08:53 pm
I was only thinking about her earlier today. It's such a tragedy. RIP Nightwing.
ziggy
07/25/17 05:26 pm
Some v sad news for those long serving fanfic writers and readers; Nightwing passed away 2 weeks ago. Cancer. May she have rest now.
Naledi
07/25/17 12:36 pm
Yay - Glad you're getting better, Ziggy. And a Black Arrow update - what more could I ask for?
ziggy
07/25/17 12:33 pm
Hello sparkyTAs! You too:) And Spiced! Just posted a silly chapter of Black Arrow to say thank you to everyone:) I am loads better.
SparkyTAS
07/25/17 05:05 am
Ziggy, so glad you're back and doing well.
Spiced Wine
07/23/17 09:34 pm
I'm so glad to hear that, Ziggy! Take it easy :)
Shout Archive



Name: Caunedhiel (Signed) · Date: November 27, 2016 1:48 · For: Chapter 75 ~ Like A High, Cold Cloud Descending ~
Oh spiced you are such a fantastic story teller! I enjoyed every moment of vanimore and the elves tales and can't wait to read more chapters of the next story!! I hope beleg finally realizes that Turin has always loved him! If not I feel like I want to shake some sense into him aha! Thanks so much for your wonderful stories , keep them coming :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Caunedheil. I am so glad you enjoyed reading the story :) I have already posted chapter one of: Anvil, and hope you'll enjoy that, also. Thank you for being a reader :)


Name: ebbingnight (Signed) · Date: November 18, 2016 4:06 · For: Chapter 75 ~ Like A High, Cold Cloud Descending ~
Yes, I hope that I'm among your constant readers! What's most fascinating to me now is that I think of your work as you have presented it over time as a series of absorbing but still preliminary "story" sketches, and as you have gotten more deeply into your world (and taken us with you), those initial sketches become further illuminated by multiple layers of meaning and illustrated by new threads and connections, all of which are still consistent with the original narrative outlines but that can make the reader view them differently. Some things that I thought were merely convenient plot devices at that time may well, I believe, turn out to be much more deeply connected to important underlying themes here.

Sharing your work as it evolves has been a wonderful gift to us. Thank you, dear Spiced!

Author's Response: you have presented it over time as a series of absorbing but still preliminary "story" sketches, and as you have gotten more deeply into your world (and taken us with you), those initial sketches become further illuminated by multiple layers of meaning and illustrated by new threads and connections, all of which are still consistent with the original narrative outlines but that can make the reader view them differently. Some things that I thought were merely convenient plot devices at that time may well, I believe, turn out to be much more deeply connected to important underlying themes here.

Yes, that was my original idea, so I am glad it's working out! :) Build an outline then fill it in, rather like the foundation around a house :) Then you fill in the interior!

I do thank you very much for staying with me, Ebbingnight; readers come and go, but I do have a core who have been extraordinarily consistent and loyal, and it honestly feels like I am being supported when that happens. Because this is a huge project, lol, and it makes such a difference when a reader seems to be at your shoulder, and 'with' you through it.


Name: ebbingnight (Signed) · Date: November 17, 2016 3:57 · For: Chapter 75 ~ Like A High, Cold Cloud Descending ~
Elgalad composed his face into one Vanimórë would recognise: loving, warm, concerned – and indeed it was no lie — and came to his feet as Vanimórë walked into the room. He went straight into the strong arms before they could push him away, pouring love into the man he adored, and truly did, though his vow, his self-appointed task was to hide himself, conceal until the time was right, and to watch Vanimórë suffer, over and over. He felt a shudder, then his embrace was returned with a sigh.

And now we know better how strong Elgalad is: he must be even stronger than Van, because I don't think that Van himself could bear to see anyone, let alone his beloved, suffer so much for so long. We readers know that Elgalad knows from other attempts in other worlds that too much intervention will be disastrous, and that he can only do what he is doing, little as it is compared to what he knows he could do. To be able to love like that must be a power of Love itself: it's beyond what anyone else could do, even other Powers such as Van.

So it is the perfect time to bring all these revelations into the new book. Beautifully done, as always!!

Author's Response: I wonder, if after I've finished it would be worth writing some one-shots all linked with Elgalad's 'failures' in other realities to this one? Or it just might be too sad.

Thank you so much for your review, and for staying with the story, Ebbingnight :) You are one of my longest reviewers, you have stuck with me for many years, and I am so grateful :) {{{Hugs}}}


Name: PoppyMarie (Signed) · Date: November 15, 2016 21:39 · For: Chapter 75 ~ Like A High, Cold Cloud Descending ~

Oh goodness! The final chapter!

 

This is so good, all of the characters are in such an emotional mess right now, it seems like nobody is having an easy time of it. Everyone is being so stubborn I just want to slap them! Maglor, Tindomion, Gil-galad, Vanimórë, Beleg, I love and hate it at the same time. The tension is amazing, and the emotions are so entangled, but I just want them to stop being so unbearably stubborn! I know that can never really happen, or they wouldn't be the same beautiful characters you've fashioned. I can't wait for the Valar to get their comeuppance, especially after what Maglor revealed here, I am really looking forward to when they finally pay. This was a great wrap up chapter, it's enough of a cliffhanger to be exciting, but not unbearable. I have so many questions, Will Beleg ever realize it's Turin? Or how much Turin did/does love him? Will Maglor ever overcome his negative emotions towards Van? Or at least not let them dominate how he sees him? Will Van ever come to terms with the new side of his family? And what will happen when Fëanor finds out everything Maglor hasn't told him? There is so much to think about, my head is spinning but in a good way. 

 

I'm very excited to see where you take the dynamics with the characters from here, especially between Van and the Fëanorians. I really can't wait for the next installment of this series! Exactly how many years after this story does Anvil take place? I know it's after Dark God, but I've lost track of the ages. 

 

I have loved this story, and every other piece you have written or are writing. They are full of beauty and mystery, and emotion so deep it's painful. You have created a remarkable series, with vivid characters of your own woven into this fantastic universe. I will say it again, I love your writing. Thank you for countless hours of enjoyment, the promise of more to come, for taking time to answer my questions, and being so dedicated to your writing. I will always stick around for the next story, you can count me as here to the very end! {{{Hugs times a million}}} 



Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much, Poppy Marie, for all your kind words and for reading and commenting. And the questions...which I can't really answer as they would be huge spoilers, lol, but I often don't know what is going to happen until I write, save in a vague way. But yes, now their emotions are so entangled that it will take a long time, if ever, to sort out.

But still, it gives me something to write :)

Anvil is going to 'surround' the other Dark Prinnce stories, so to speak and also go on from Dark God. I want to bring more of Morgoth and Sauron into it as well as the Dagor Dagorath. It will begin now, where this finished, going to war in Angmar :) (Dark Lands began about 25 years after Dark Prince finished, and this is the 'gap' time.

I have loved this story, and every other piece you have written or are writing. They are full of beauty and mystery, and emotion so deep it's painful. You have created a remarkable series, with vivid characters of your own woven into this fantastic universe. I will say it again, I love your writing. Thank you for countless hours of enjoyment, the promise of more to come, for taking time to answer my questions, and being so dedicated to your writing.
Thank you again, so much! Reviews are such fuel for me! I am sure I'd write anyhow, but maybe just for myself, privately, if no-one read it or liked it. And I never imagined, when I began Dark Prince that anyone at all would read it, much less enjoy anything I wrote.


Name: Encairion (Signed) · Date: November 15, 2016 4:29 · For: Chapter 75 ~ Like A High, Cold Cloud Descending ~

This revelation of Maglor’s about Mandos is one I hadn’t seen coming, but it does make sense that there had been something holding him back.  So many of those he loves around him have embraced their new freedom to love whomever they choose, and yet not Maglor…well, in some ways he has like with Tindómion, but not with Feanor.

“He wondered if this were another reason for his mental distancing of himself from his own family, quite apart from the Ages that separated them. It was not lack of love, because that loved consumed him day and night, but terror that something far too impossible to be true could be ripped away, that this was a dream he could awaken from at any moment and find himself in some lonely place, still mad, or back in Barad-dûr, Sauron's mind and hands engaged in their work of breaking him. “

Oh this is so heartbreaking!  But yes, yes I understand them both and this fear of theirs and why they hold themselves apart.  While it drives their family crazy, in truth the re-born have not been with them that long, have they?  And that span of time set against the thousands of years Tindómion and Maglor knew of separation and grief is just too much too conquer without time.

I loved this part with Turin, all of it!  But Beleg has left me doubting, because he is so sure Men cannot be re-born!  I was reading along thinking that surely, surely this is Turin re-born and Beleg is just not wanting to open his eyes to the possibility because it will hurt so much to loose him again and because he thought he would just be trying to see something that wasn’t there and thus burden the new Turin, but I thought it really was Turin, but now…that ending, when Beleg seemed so absolutely sure that Men cannot be reborn…what if Turin really hasn’t been re-born and something else is going on?  What if this Turin never re-gains more than scraps of another life?  Like what if maybe he is re-born but in the re-birth he lost most of his memories so this is still the same soul but the memories will never fully come back?  Oh gods I don’t know if I could handle that because Beleg is going to keep denying him, isn’t he?  And he is right not to take Turin too, because he doesn’t love this Turin like that, he loves the other Turin, and it would indeed not to be right to sleep with this one because he would only be making love to the past. Gods though, it hurt my heart to hear Beleg speaking about how the old Turin had never really loved him, and fully believing that!  Oh Beleg :weeps:

“What he longed for most of all, the most secret wish of his heart, was to be an Elf, to be Beleg's equal. He was not.”

This made me so very sad.  I don’t think I would be able to handle this tale if I didn’t know there was the hope of Van’s blood granting Turin immortality.  If Turin was doomed to die a Mortals death…no, I don’t think I could handle it!

 

I really really loved this chapter!  What an ending to this piece of your on-going epic!



Author's Response: Thank you so much, Encairion. :)

Yes, with Tindómion and Maglor – well, it's not exactly survivor's guilt, but how would any-one react, you or me, to being reunited with people we loved who had died long ago? It would not be seamless (as I am sure it wouldn't be in your story) I have thought about it and it seems to me that there would be this disbelief and fear that it couldn't be true,. And what if they die again? And while you'd think that would just make them want to take all they could while they can, life's never that simple.

Well, no Men can't be reborn (except Beren was) but Túrin definitely was. He just does not remember yet, and his dreams are nothing to do with Anglachel, except that might have proved a catalyst.

But Beleg is right from his own standpoint. He was not there when Vanimórë, Glorfindel and Lómion unearthed the tomb on Tol Morwen, and of course he was long dead, so he did not hear Túrin's dying Oath and so as far as he knows this Túrin isn't the Túrin Turambar. It would, in his lights, be wrong to use this young man just because he looks like the one he loved, and yes, it would be. He loves this one in a different way.

But he's got to know. And he will. Everything. It is too sad otherwise.

Thank you so much for reviewing and for sticking with me through this story :) {{{Hugs}}}


Name: PoppyMarie (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2016 5:29 · For: Chapter 74 ~ Blood Means Nothing. Blood Means Everything ~

Oh my goodness, I've literally spent a whole day simply processing and analyzing, and trying to think of what to say. Your writing seems to get more dynamic with every chapter, the emotions and visuals are all even more real as the story progresses, really amazing work. 

 

I loved this chapter, so very good, that being said I cried for Van. I'm happy for him and hurting for him in equal measure, this is such a good thing for him, but he can't see it that way. I found a quote in my social psychology textbook the day I read the update "we accept the love we think we think we deserve" and I think that very accurately sums up how Vanimórë feels, at this point, he still can't see anything deserving in himself. I can also understand why he can't just become part of the Fëanorian family, as he said, he has already lived his life, defined himself, and he can't just throw that away. I hope that someday, he can learn to incorporate both his current self, and his Fëanorian heritage. I know it will take a long, long time, and he will never be able to forget all the things he has suffered, but I hope that he can grow closer to them, I think he could learn to accept that side of himself. 

 

Fëanor. Oh Fëanor, how I love him. He was very emotional in this chapter, I could almost feel how angry he was at not being able to reach Van. But I can't imagine that Van will stay closed off to him forever, how could you? He is such a force to be around, but I'm glad he is giving Van space, he seemed very close to losing it. What really got me was Fëanor saying "He is ours" and "He belongs to us" that just gave me a sliver of hope that something good will come of this, eventually. Like Glorfindel said, a few thousand years of Fëanorian love? I'm not sure any being could experience that and not be in some way changed, and I hope that it happens for Van.

 

My heart hurts for Maglor, in all of the happenings, it's hard to remember that he might be struggling with this as well. He now has to deal with all of the anger towards Vanimórë, knowing that he is family. That has to be giving him a hard time. I also think that Fëanor's reaction to what Van did to Maglor will be initial fury, but I don't think that he will never forgive Van. I honestly think that if Fëanor were in that situation in Vanimórë's place, he would have done anything to save Maglor as well. Though it will no doubt be an unpleasant time for all when he first finds out. 

 

I really hope that Ballineth gets knocked down a few pegs, I hope that if/when Moriel wakes, she goes to find Van. I also want her to unite with her family as well, and Vanya if/when she comes back. I would love to see both of them in your later stories, it's been alluded to, but I hope it become reality. I think they would both be a couple of badass ladies, and show those awful monsters like Varda and Dana what a real woman looks like! 

 

This was just fantastic! I hope the review makes sense, I have so much to say that it gets a little unorganized. But thank you! A million times thank you, your stories always get me through a tough day! Can't wait to see what happens next!!!! :) 



Author's Response: Please never apologize for a long review, Poppy Marie :) I love to know people don't just gulp the chapter down and forget it :)

I'm glad you see that it would be impossible for Van just to walk into a new life as a Fëanorion. He's lived thousands as years as Sauron's son
I found a quote in my social psychology textbook the day I read the update "we accept the love we think we think we deserve" and I think that very accurately sums up how Vanimórë feels, at this point, he still can't see anything deserving in himself.

Yes, this, exactly this. The thought that Fëanor might love him, is incomprehensible to him. Have sex with perhaps, as sex isn't anything special to Van, or intimate; he understands lust perfectly well.

It will be a long time, but I don't know if he'll completely accept himself. Perhaps at the end.

Fëanor. Oh Fëanor, how I love him. He was very emotional in this chapter, I could almost feel how angry he was at not being able to reach Van. But I can't imagine that Van will stay closed off to him forever, how could you? He is such a force to be around, but I'm glad he is giving Van space, he seemed very close to losing it. What really got me was Fëanor saying "He is ours" and "He belongs to us" that just gave me a sliver of hope that something good will come of this, eventually

Fëanor is more a force of the universe than a person; it would be very difficult for Van to be unaffected. I think, yes, something good (if it can be called that) will come of it,

My heart hurts for Maglor, in all of the happenings, it's hard to remember that he might be struggling with this as well. He now has to deal with all of the anger towards Vanimórë, knowing that he is family. That has to be giving him a hard time. I also think that Fëanor's reaction to what Van did to Maglor will be initial fury, but I don't think that he will never forgive Van. I honestly think that if Fëanor were in that situation in Vanimórë's place, he would have done anything to save Maglor as well. Though it will no doubt be an unpleasant time for all when he first finds out. 

That is interesting, as I think Fëanor would have done that too, yes, if he needed to. Maglor is going to need some time to digest this. It's absolutely not easy for him at the moment.

Absolutely your review makes sense :) Thank you for spending the time to post it :) I do appreciate it! (And thank you for your kind words!) :)


Name: Caunedhiel (Signed) · Date: November 01, 2016 21:35 · For: Chapter 74 ~ Blood Means Nothing. Blood Means Everything ~
Oh spiced those last three chapters were amazing! My alerts have been going in my junk mail for some reason so I ended up with three chapters to catch up on! Omg I love that vanimore is Feanors grandson it fits so well! Feanor is so loving with his family, I want vanimore to finally accept that he is loved for who he is. Eagerly awaiting the next chapter xxx

Author's Response: Awww, thank you so much, Caunedhiel! I am so glad you liked them. As I've said, though, this is going to be a long, complicated situation, and since I can't change what I wrote up to the end of Dark God, I can only really resolve this in events that happen after that. Well, if you've read Dark Blood and Dark God, you kow what happens up to that point - the relationship is even more complicated, but it will be resolved, or partly, at some point. Just that it will take a long time! If course, Vanimórë really could, as Glorfindel said, use a centuries long dose of Fëanor, but first he would have to accept that he was worth it :/

Thank you so much for commenting.


Name: ebbingnight (Signed) · Date: November 01, 2016 17:32 · For: Chapter 74 ~ Blood Means Nothing. Blood Means Everything ~
It had been too late even then, as Melkor and Sauron plotted the downfall and destruction of the Noldor, one prince after the other.

Such ironies now: so Van is responsible for killing the person who was his father's only Fëanorian "friend" (to save Celebrimbor and his remaining secrets from the results of that "friendship") and who is now revealed to have been his own cousin. Blood means everything and nothing: Sauron's punishment for the killing was nothing to what Van likely feels he now deserves for the death of Fëanor's other grandson.

Author's Response: so Van is responsible for killing the person who was his father's only Fëanorian "friend" (to save Celebrimbor and his remaining secrets from the results of that "friendship") and who is now revealed to have been his own cousin. Blood means everything and nothing: Sauron's punishment for the killing was nothing to what Van likely feels he now deserves for the death of Fëanor's other grandson.

I have no doubt Sauron knew exactly what he was doing, although I also think something in him wanted Celebrimbor mercifully killed, he just didn't want to do it himself, but he knew Van would. And probably he thought it deliciously ironic, even though Van did not know. While I think Fëanor would believe that a merciful death, like Vanya's, Vanimórë will have to bear that guilt, too. There's been articles in the news lately, here, about the SAS special forces killing enemy soldiers who've been eviscerated or practically blown apart, but still alive. Apparently, it's an unspoken rule that they will put the enemy out of their misery. This was what Van did with Celebrimbor, and probably has many times on the battlefield, but yes, this was different, as he was called in to be an executioner - or rather he was not, he was called in to wring Celebrimbor's last secrets out of him -- ostensibly -- but that was only Sauron's excuse. He well knew that Van would end Celebrimbor 'mercifully', as he would any horribly wounded soldier, just couldn't bring himself to give that order, quite.

Thank you, Ebbingnight. :)


Name: Encairion (Signed) · Date: November 01, 2016 6:23 · For: Chapter 74 ~ Blood Means Nothing. Blood Means Everything ~

“Yes, thou doth look rather like Hendunár, but he is in thee, too. I hope that disgusts him, that Sauron's blood melds with his.” 

NOOOOO!  I want to tear this woman’s eyes out!  How dare she!  HOW DARE SHE!!!!  Oh, she is a complete bitch, she deserves to suffer for this!  I hate her more than Idril and Tuor!  Gods, no one does this to Van and gets away with it, no one!  (expect, of course, that so many many have :sobs:)

But gods, Van’s mother looking just like his sister.  And that moment he saw her for the first time…punch me in the gut why don’t you?

I am glad Hendunár is out of there and back with Fingolfin (oh I saw that look Feanor, yes I did, I wonder what’s going to go done with these three? :grins:)

Van.  I started crying for him.  It just hurt so bad.  I am tearing up just thinking about it again.  And when he was talking to Feanor and just wanted to be left alone.  And the way we could feel just how close to shattering he really use…and:

The only person I could ever speak to. How ironic. Oh, father. “

Oh.  Oh pain.  Oh this hurts.  This entire scene hurts!  This chapter!  By gods it went down with tears, but so so good!

Glorfindel is right though, if Van is ever able to accept the Feanorion in his blood it will take him centuries.  If ever.  I find myself hoping Feanor does give him some space though, it felt like Van was on the brink of breaking, of falling, during that scene with Feanor, and it didn’t feel like a fall into Feanor’s arms but a fall into madness.  Feanor needs to keep loving him, steady, constant, years and years and years, but he cannot demand Van accept the blood in his veins or his place amoungst them yet.  But it sounds like he will have patience, as much as it is hard for him to endure waiting :)  Really, what can he do but just keep loving and loving Van, and maybe, one day….

I am really wondering what’s going through Maglor’s head during this scene though!  He’s so quiet!  Hmmm….

Also, I worry that Van’s rape of Maglor kept secret like this is going to do nothing but eat at any attempt Feanor makes to love Van, because always, in the back of Van’s mind, he will be sure that once Feanor learns of it he will look on Van with disgust and hate and cast him away (if he doesn’t before then, since Van doesn’t for a moment think it will last, and also that’s it’s just pity anyway.  Oh Van.  My heart breaks.).

 

Fantastic chapter.  Absolutely glorious!



Author's Response: NOOOOO!  I want to tear this woman’s eyes out!  How dare she!  HOW DARE SHE!!!!  Oh, she is a complete bitch, she deserves to suffer for this!  I hate her more than Idril and Tuor!  Gods, no one does this to Van and gets away with it, no one!  (expect, of course, that so many many have :sobs:)

I actually hope that when Móriel and Van meet she will end up going to Van, not any-one else. That would show Ballineth!

I am glad Hendunár is out of there and back with Fingolfin (oh I saw that look Feanor, yes I did, I wonder what’s going to go done with these three? :grins:)

I don't know what exactly will happen, :) but yes, I am glad he is out of there, too.

Van.  I started crying for him.  It just hurt so bad.  I am tearing up just thinking about it again.  And when he was talking to Feanor and just wanted to be left alone.  And the way we could feel just how close to shattering he really use…and:
“The only person I could ever speak to. How ironic. Oh, father. “ Oh.  Oh pain.  Oh this hurts.  This entire scene hurts!  This chapter!  By gods it went down with tears, but so so good!

Glorfindel is right though, if Van is ever able to accept the Feanorion in his blood it will take him centuries.  If ever.  I find myself hoping Feanor does give him some space though, it felt like Van was on the brink of breaking, of falling, during that scene with Feanor, and it didn’t feel like a fall into Feanor’s arms but a fall into madness.  Feanor needs to keep loving him, steady, constant, years and years and years, but he cannot demand Van accept the blood in his veins or his place amoungst them yet.  But it sounds like he will have patience, as much as it is hard for him to endure waiting :)  Really, what can he do but just keep loving and loving Van, and maybe, one day….


I was so sad writing it, all this pain was being gouged out of Vanimórë, and yes, I think he was very close to completely breaking. Yes, he needs space, and much time, and still...I know he does interact with them, but the relationship will not be as expected, and will not go as Fëanor thinks. But he is, now, giving him time, at least.

I am not sure if Van can ever be healed, to be honest. Not to the extent where he does not hate himself, anyhow. He might pretend, but Fëanor would see through that.

I am really wondering what’s going through Maglor’s head during this scene though!  He’s so quiet!  Hmmm….

Well, he dreamed of Vanimórë way back – in Magnificat I (Chapter 22) – before the sack of Sirion, and got him confused with his father. (My gosh, so long ago I wrote that, and now it comes back!):

The Doom had affected even his sleep. There were no dreams of pleasant days gone by, not any longer. Now he dreaded the times he rested, for invariably the dream was the same.

He would be walking across a barren landscape and in the distance loomed a black tower whose topmost courses were wreathed in noxious mists. It was not Angband, it was no place he had ever seen.

In all that desolation nothing stirred save a thin breeze which sifted ash about his boots. His soul rebelled at walking toward this terrible place wherein he knew dwelt some dread power, and yet he could not halt his forward momentum.

There was a dark shape ahead of him, and as he approached he saw that it was a tall figure. A hood covered his head and the long cloak fell to his heels. It was motionless, holding a power which Maglor both feared and yearned toward.

The figure turned. A sweep of wind cast back the hood and belled out a mane of dark hair, the ends seemed to fray into fiery darkness.

Maglor began to run as eyes like nothing on Arda save the Silmarilli themselves stared into his own. Strong arms embraced him and he heard himself crying: Adar! I thought thee dead!

I can never be gone from thee, my dear. Thou art my son.

For a moment those perilous and beautiful eyes watched him, and for the space of a heartbeat they glinted lucent purple. A thought crossed Maglor's mind that this was not his father...
But it was; there was none like him, there never would be any like him. The scent of sandalwood drifted through the dead air, opulent, sensual.


I think he was thinking of this dream, that presaged his imprisonment in Mordor and of Vanimórë, and got them both confused, and realizes now that this might be why, because Vanimórë is Fëanorion. He was thinking of Fëanor in Barad-dûr. Maglor had thought himself wholly alone (He didn't know about his son or where Celebrimbor was, even if he was alive as he was half-mad or more) But his own blood was with him in Barad-dûr. That's a great deal to take in. We'll find out what he thinks, soon.

Also, I worry that Van’s rape of Maglor kept secret like this is going to do nothing but eat at any attempt Feanor makes to love Van, because always, in the back of Van’s mind, he will be sure that once Feanor learns of it he will look on Van with disgust and hate and cast him away (if he doesn’t before then, since Van doesn’t for a moment think it will last, and also that’s it’s just pity anyway.  Oh Van.  My heart breaks.).

:(

I am sorry this chapter was so heartbreaking, Encairion, but I am so glad that you thought it was good! Thank you so much! {{{Hugs}}}


Name: jules (Signed) · Date: October 24, 2016 1:45 · For: Chapter 73 ~ No Longer Hidden ~
what a surprise! The touching and honest conversation between Fanari and Vanimore - and I hope Vanimore can give Turin immortality one day (I hadn't thought of that!) This beginning you think is going to lead you on into the revelation of Edenel - and that brought tears to my eyes! Then the bombshell! What will Vanimore do now - how can he handle it - he and Feanor such strong and stubborn characters. And will Feanor do anything about Vanimore's sister, now he knows they are 'family'? Loved every bit of it!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Jules. I am so glad that you enjoyed this chapter.

Well, since the Valar apparently gave Tuor immortality, I see nothing stopping Van (or Glorfindel) giving it to Túrin, but Van is right to say it must be his choice when he is older.

Vanimórë will not take this well...the shock, I think, he has taken himself off to Lórien to ask Ballineth (although he knows it's true, in his heart). It's just difficult to take in.

I'm going to put a note on the next chapter about Van's sister, as I did write what happened to her (up to a point) years ago, and that is still to come on this timeline.


Name: Encairion (Signed) · Date: October 22, 2016 7:38 · For: Chapter 73 ~ No Longer Hidden ~

How I wish Fanari was Van’s mother!  I do love their relationship, but it hurts that Van will never think himself deserving of her care :(  I really agree with Fanari about Turin, and I hope Van will not blame himself again for removing Turin from his mother.  Cell lost any right to her son when she stood by and did nothing while he was sexually assaulted.  I know that she herself had been a victim, but while I can feel compassion for her own suffering, that stops the moment she allows her child to be hurt.

Ah Maglor and Van!  Some much fire between these two!  I am really curious to see how the revelation of Van’s heritage will affect his relationship with Maglor, because now he is a Feanorion and one of them.  Will Maglor continue to hate him?  The Feanorions forgive much in each other that they wouldn’t in those outside their blood…

At last we have Edenel’s revealed!  But the memory of his torment will never release him :(  I do really like how he has such a strong connection with Van (even if Feanor’s jealous lol); as much as Feanor might love his uncle the moment he learned of him, and as great as his own suffering was in the Void, it is not like what Edenel and Van suffered, and thus he cannot fully understand.  Which is why I am glad that Edenel will not leave his people because he needs them.  How could he possibly be parted from them after all they suffered together?  But I am glad that he will also finally have his longing to be part of the Feanorions fulfilled at last!

So, OMG, Van is Feanor’s grandson!!!  I am still not over this!  I have so many questions and thoughts and wow I did not see this coming!  I am dying to know what is going through Van’s head right now!  Is it too much to hope that this will help him in some small way?  Will he maybe be able to see himself as more than Sauron’s son?  Will he be able to accept the Noldo in him?  But alas, I fear he won’t.  His self-hate sinks so deeply into him :(

I am also really curious about his mother.  I can’t help thinking there is more going on with her under the surface.  I mean, she’s Feanor’s daughter after all!  So I am wondering if she is maybe not able to return from the torment of her mind?  Like, do the Valar know who she is and are doing something to keep her trapped in her mind?  Or is whatever Morgoth and Sauron did to her to keep her soul trapped in her body still affecting her?  Are they still able to reach her through the Void?  I just cannot accept that Feanor’s daughter would just…give up like this.  Her torment was terrible, but so was Maedhros’ and Celebrimbor’s and Maglor’s, so I keep thinking there is more to it than this.  And I really really want her to come back, see Van for the first time, and tell him how proud she is of him and how much she loves him!  Oh I want him to have at least this one weight, this one guilt, taken from him!  There is so much he will never forgive himself for, but I want to know what it is to be held by his mother :weeps for him:

And again, I am wildly curious to see how this revelation affects his relationship with Maglor!

 

This was just such a great chapter with so much revealed, and so much yet to discover :D



Author's Response: So, OMG, Van is Feanor’s grandson!!! I am still not over this! I have so many questions and thoughts and wow I did not see this coming! I am dying to know what is going through Van’s head right now! Is it too much to hope that this will help him in some small way? Will he maybe be able to see himself as more than Sauron’s son? Will he be able to accept the Noldo in him? But alas, I fear he won’t. His self-hate sinks so deeply into him :(

Well, he always longed - it was a dream when he was young - that he would be rescued by his Noldor kin (before he knew he was Sauron's son, when he was still a child in Tol-in-Gaurhoth). And he was always drawn to the Noldor. But Sauron told him enough times he would never be accepted by then for it to sink in. He's gone to get the truth from Ballineth in Lórien, so he will 'accept' it as true, but whether he will ever feel he 'deserves' to be part of the family is another thing entirely.

Yes, I should think there is some kind of tampering going on with Móriel. I don't believe the gardens of Lórien offer anything more than convalescence; there's no real healing, and she was also driven mad and never came out of it. (I do know when she does wake up, but it's not yet)

I do think she would love him, though, if she knew him. She didn't even see her babies. She died as they were being born, so, trapped in her own madness, she really knows nothing.

Ah Maglor and Van! Some much fire between these two! I am really curious to see how the revelation of Van’s heritage will affect his relationship with Maglor, because now he is a Feanorion and one of them. Will Maglor continue to hate him? The Feanorions forgive much in each other that they wouldn’t in those outside their blood…

Yes, I know what you mean. It's whether Maglor would 'see' Van as Fëanorion, (even though he is) it's difficult if a person has been 'some-one else' for such a long time. I do know there is always a deep connection between them because I wrote it :) But probably not an easy one.

No, Edenel would never leave his people, although, since they have no-one and nothing else, they'll join the Fëanorions, but they'll still remain a people apart, and Edenel will naturally have a connection of empathy with Van since they endured so much of the same cruelties.

How I wish Fanari was Van’s mother! I do love their relationship, but it hurts that Van will never think himself deserving of her care :

Well, we do know they get on well, as in Dark God, Van chose her to birth Fëanor, who then had the 'god' blood he will need in the future. And I should think Van chose her because she was stable, and caring, and already had a Fëanorion son, and also because she asks nothing of him. Almost everyone does, in one way or another, and she does not. He's totally sick of being used by women, so it must be quite restful to interact with some-one who just wants him to feel art ease. I also think she would 'mother' him if he would allow it, although she'd far rather see his own mother do that!

Thank you so much, Encairion :)


Name: PoppyMarie (Signed) · Date: October 21, 2016 6:21 · For: Chapter 73 ~ No Longer Hidden ~

What. What?! WHAT!!??!

 

Yes. This is amazing. This is perfect. I was completely floored by this! I can honestly say I didn't see it coming, though I probably should have. I am giddy with happiness right now, I don't even know what to say. The Fëanorians have had so many revelations in the past two chapters, Fëanor not only finds out about his uncle, but that he has a daughter, and Van is his grandson! I can't wait to see his reactions to this, I'm sure the dynamics between all of them will change. I feel simultaneously elated and worried for Van, this has to be a horrible shock for him, he will probably have trouble processing it. But once he does, I hope he can feel some of the love that comes with being a Fëanorian, I don't see how he can avoid it, the way that family is connected. Does Feanor know about Vanya? That must come into play sometime in the future, as he has not only a grandson, but a granddaughter. 

 

I'm very excited to see others reactions and find out if Edenel will reunite with Finwë in the future. This was one of the best chapters yet, I can't wait to read more! Thank you for sharing your amazing talent! :D



Author's Response: Thank you, Poppy Marie. All I can say is this was a long time coming!

Fëanor does not know about Vanya, as Van has never spoken of her, though Glorfindel does. But no-one would be able to find her anyhow, as Morgoth *hid* her thousands of years ago. He's begun 'moving' her to come into contact with Van, and that is when we would see her, which is in a chapter in Dark Blood when she is in Tanith, in the South. And we know what happens there :( That's not to say she can't ever return in a later story.

I think this will be extremely hard for Van, and he'll never be quite part of the family, as he has so firmly defined himself as Sauron's son, but that shall be more explored in the next story.

I do expect Edenel will see his twin in the future, although when, I am not sure.

Thank you so much. I am glad you enjoyed it :)


Name: ebbingnight (Signed) · Date: October 21, 2016 3:51 · For: Chapter 73 ~ No Longer Hidden ~
And of course no one except Van himself knows that this was yet another set of "lost twins" that once hoped for rescue. . .

Author's Response: Oh, gosh, yes, that's true, Ebbingnight :(


Name: ziggy (Signed) · Date: October 20, 2016 17:04 · For: Chapter 73 ~ No Longer Hidden ~

There is nothing more fierce than a mother's love, nothing more enduring, save a Fëanorion's.” Then she did look at him and all the love for her son was in her eyes, bright and deeper than the infinity beyond a midnight sky. “I think any mother would love thee and more, be proud of thee. I would want to return from madness and grief to thee, as I turned from death to come to my son.”

 

THAT is a wonderful moment but of course it is just full of bitterness for Vanimore. I love Fanari- she is perhaps, the noblest of all characters in her generosity- and the most 'human' in the sense that she does not blaze, but is deep and tender. I agree with VAnimore- she should be his mother!! The domesticity in this scene is very well described with just a detail here and there- the tisane, the scents, the comfort. Very feminine too in its comfort.

 

All the men in this room had the look of eagles, born leaders, warriors, drawing the eye among a thousand others. Vanimórë possessed that quality too, a vivid, predatory arrogance bred into the bones and blood, a beauty that hurt.

 

 

 

That image struck me- almost before I read it- such a contrast with Fanari. Lovely writing

 

And then! WALLOP!!! 

This is a "Luke, I am your father,' moment!!!

 

Brilliant- I bet you've been waiting for YEARS to write that bit.

 

But then I am left wondering about Vanimore's sister...is it this story where she is still alive? I thought Dana knew- in which case, the Valar/Melkor and probably Sauron know too?



Author's Response: THAT is a wonderful moment but of course it is just full of bitterness for Vanimore. I love Fanari- she is perhaps, the noblest of all characters in her generosity- and the most 'human' in the sense that she does not blaze, but is deep and tender. I agree with VAnimore- she should be his mother!! The domesticity in this scene is very well described with just a detail here and there- the tisane, the scents, the comfort. Very feminine too in its comfort.

Well, Van chose her, in Dark God, to re-mother? Fëanor, and I think that this was why: he knew she'd be good with a child Fëanor, but that she also wouldn't demand more of him (Van). She's *stable*, and it's as said, a hard-won peace – and lol, she's an 'honorary Fëanorion, anyhow. I think he feels he can be 'easy' with her in a way he is not with any-one else, simply because she seeks nothing of him.

And then! WALLOP!!!
This is a "Luke, I am your father,' moment!!!

Brilliant- I bet you've been waiting for YEARS to write that bit.

But then I am left wondering about Vanimore's sister...is it this story where she is still alive? I thought Dana knew- in which case, the Valar/Melkor and probably Sauron know too?


Well, several years, really. Yes. I always knew Van was a Fëanorion, but now how, so I just kept writing, knowing that one day the answer would come. But yes, it's been years. Almost from the beginning.

Yes, Morgoth and Sauron know where Vanya is. Back in the Chapter Morgoth's Ring they began to 'move' her so that eventually, she will meet with Van (which is in Dark Blood). They basically placed a 'block' on Van's mind back when he killed her, so he would think and believe her dead, and even now, that block remains. He can't think of her without his mind falling into an abyss. He also thinks he should never see her because he killed her, (he believes) even if it was a mercy. Dana knows too, but as Vanya is no use to her, she's never considered telling Van.

Thank you, Ziggy, for commenting :) I am glad you enjoyed it!


Name: Encairion (Signed) · Date: October 20, 2016 16:52 · For: Chapter 73 ~ No Longer Hidden ~

Holy shit!  Oh my god!  I am utterly gob smacked!  I did not see that coming in a hundred years!  Wow, what a twist!  I am dying to know if you’d known from the very beginning that Van was Feanor’s grandson!  How on earth did you keep a secret like that all these years?  I would have burst lol

 

This entire chapter was fantastic :fails around:  I am going to come back to leave a proper review when I get some more time, I promise, there is so much good stuff in here I want to talk about!



Author's Response: I am dying to know if you’d known from the very beginning that Van was Feanor’s grandson! How on earth did you keep a secret like that all these years? I would have burst lol

I always knew he was, but not how, so I just kept writing knowing one day the answer would come up.
I knew he couldn't be 'just' Sauron's son, with nothing to 'balance' it out on the other side, his mother couldn't just be a 'random' woman unfortunate enough to be taken by Sauron. There's no symmetry in that; it's not poetic. So I just deliberately concentrated on his being Sauron's son (which he does define himself as) until the answer found its way to the surface. It's been so long, I couldn't believe when it actually came to me, lol.

Thank you so much, Encairion, for taking time to tell me you liked it :)


Name: ebbingnight (Signed) · Date: October 19, 2016 17:07 · For: Chapter 73 ~ No Longer Hidden ~
This key fits the lock and opens the gate wide to show something that we immediately recognize as the reality we have been missing, just as in the earlier revelations about Elgalad. Masterfully done!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Ebbingnight, because that has been coming for years. :)


Name: jules (Signed) · Date: October 07, 2016 8:28 · For: Chapter 72 ~ The Uncovering ~
well!
Uncle hopefully sorts them out! He gages their pain and love..I hope they can come together now

Author's Response: Thank you for commenting, Jules :) We'll see how it goes from here :)


Name: PoppyMarie (Signed) · Date: October 02, 2016 6:15 · For: Chapter 72 ~ The Uncovering ~

This was a glorious chapter, absolutely stunning! The emotional and erotic components just intertwine so perfectly, this really blew me away. 

I was so happy to see Gil-galad and Tindomion finally brought together, they just don't know when to give in; which is a part of their dynamic, but it was gratifying to see them finally relent, I love those two so much! Edenel's pain bringing their minds together, the shared grief and love, it was beautiful, I have no words. It is interesting that Vanimórë felt it as well, and of course all of that love and passion would break Dana's curse, she can't even begin to comprehend such a thing.

Yes! I was so thrilled at the end, Fëanor finally knows! I can't wait to see how he reacts!

Such a great chapter as always, thank you so much! :)



Author's Response: Thank you so much, Poppy Marie :)

I doubt very much this is the end of the tension between Tindómion and Gil-galad, after all, they *did* have to go through an 'intermediary' and one of them is bound to bring that up! But it definitely was a night they'll remember!

I think, when Edenel met Finwë's blood, this was bound to happen, because there's just too deep a connection there, and too much pain. (Yes, interesting that Van felt it too!) but now, at last, Edenel cannot hide, and everything will have to be revealed - although I suspect those who felt it have a rather good idea of what happened to him.

Thank you so much for taking time review :)


Name: Encairion (Signed) · Date: October 02, 2016 4:23 · For: Chapter 72 ~ The Uncovering ~

I was fan girl screaming at that ending!!!!  It feels like we’ve been waiting in suspense for ages for this moment and it is finally here!  Yet you leave us on a cliff-hanger like that!  And I wonder, oh I wonder whose footsteps those were Edenel  heard just before the end?  Gods I can’t wait for next chapter! 

And ah, but this one was glorious!  The Anguish was exquisitely written, and wow, Gil-galad really shone in this chapter!  I love that you wrote his similarities to Fingolfin, because I too think he had a lot in common with Fingolfin.

 

Really, reading this chapter, no matter how many times I read your writing of these character, they will blaze every time like the first time.  I image it’s a little like how one would never really gets used to living beside them.  Their beauty and glory and fire would strike the viewer every single time they walk into the room, and that’s something I really love about your writing of them.  They truly feel other-worldly, not human, like demi-gods, and it is a magnificent thing to read!



Author's Response: I was fan girl screaming at that ending!!!! It feels like we’ve been waiting in suspense for ages for this moment and it is finally here! Yet you leave us on a cliff-hanger like that! And I wonder, oh I wonder whose footsteps those were Edenel heard just before the end? Gods I can’t wait for next chapter!

I was so glad to get to the part. I didn't think it would be this soon, but then this chapter just happened, and I knew that if Edenel did lay with one of his own blood, (Finwë's blood) and undergo the Anguish that something cataclysmic would happen, and now he cannot hide who and what he is - and I honestly don't think he wants to, really.

And ah, but this one was glorious! The Anguish was exquisitely written, and wow, Gil-galad really shone in this chapter! I love that you wrote his similarities to Fingolfin, because I too think he had a lot in common with Fingolfin.

I do love Gil-galad. He does not seem to get much time in fic and is usually paired with Elrond, which I really can't see, but I just don't *do* Elrond, not since Hugo Weaving. But he had the greatest realm of all the High Elven kings and it endured for thousands of years.

I think he has a lot in common with Fingolfin, both of them slain by the Enemy of their time, and in this 'verse, is physically very like him. I think the only reason Fingolfin, in the end, decided to go ahead with Fingon's ghastly marriage (as in agree to broker it, because he felt awful about it) is that he had foreseen Gil-galad. And I'm also so sorry for Gil-galad, losing his father when relatively young, and then (in this 'verse) having a horrific mother. He so needed a Fëanorion, and at last fate brought him Tindómion.

. Their beauty and glory and fire would strike the viewer every single time they walk into the room, and that’s something I really love about your writing of them. They truly feel other-worldly, not human, like demi-gods, and it is a magnificent thing to read!

Every time I write them and think of them they seem to explode in glory in my mind's eye and make me breathless. And so do yours, by the way! But that is how I honestly feel they would be.

Thank you so much! I hope the writing is going well, as I am so looking forward to your updates! :)


Name: Encairion (Signed) · Date: October 02, 2016 4:21 · For: Chapter 71 ~ The Past Has No Ending ~

This chapter is thick with pain and some many Age-deep wounds that really never will heal.  I’ve read the next chapter too, and both of these chapters have really struck me on this point, this pain that threads through all of them, connecting them, binding them together, and yet in this chapter Van isolates himself so much, of course he does, but it hurts so much to see.  It hurts to see how alone he feels and yet unable to really think about his loneliness because he doesn’t believe he deserves companionship.  Fingolfin tried to make him understand he was part of them, but no matter how many times it’s said by how many different people, Van is never going to see his worth, is he?  It’s so heartbreaking, and even though I already know it isn’t to be, it still hurts all over again every time I read it.  That is some brilliant writing :)

I found myself asking, like Coldagnir  did, who is Van, really?  I had never considered that he was more than he was, but you have me wondering now.  Elgalad called him the sacrifice, what does this mean?  You have me wondering…. And it was really interesting to find out that Coldagnir  recognized Elgalad!

 

This was a rich chapter, thank you so much for sharing!



Author's Response: , this pain that threads through all of them, connecting them, binding them together, and yet in this chapter Van isolates himself so much, of course he does, but it hurts so much to see. It hurts to see how alone he feels and yet unable to really think about his loneliness because he doesn’t believe he deserves companionship. Fingolfin tried to make him understand he was part of them, but no matter how many times it’s said by how many different people, Van is never going to see his worth, is he?

I think Ages of grief and hurt will never truly be healed, ever. It would be impossible, and I think day-to-day, all of them cover it up a great deal; it's really only seen in the way they look at each other, want to be close all the time.
As for Van, when he finally realises what his 'worth' is - I think he will consider it oddly apt. That is all I can say, really :(

I found myself asking, like Coldagnir did, who is Van, really? I had never considered that he was more than he was, but you have me wondering now. Elgalad called him the sacrifice, what does this mean?

Ah, well. Yes. He's more than Sauron's son, more than his apotheosis made him, but that won't really be revealed until the next book.

Yes, Coldagnir recognised Elgalad, because Elgalad had to 'remind' him who he was; even gods can falter set against Melkor. But there is so much Elgalad is not saying, and so much he has forbidden Coldagnir to say. Plots within plots!

Thank you so much, Encairion. I am so glad you liked reading :)


Name: ziggy (Signed) · Date: October 01, 2016 10:57 · For: Chapter 72 ~ The Uncovering ~

Oh. My.

You should write erotic literature for a living Sian!

So much in this- so much of the plot has moved on in this chapter and yet, so subtly done-the action being one simple act and so much is resolved. I feel like hitting Gil and Tin for being so silly all this time and stepping round each other like angry cats and then Edanel just seduces/or not really seduces them both and that scene- 

There was magic here, an echo of the Song, of starless dark somewhere far away, long ago. Ancient. A quiver ran across his heated flesh. He smelled, again, the scent of diamonds burning and flame rose within him, fell and hungry. 

And then, another aroma, and one he would know beyond his own death, if he walked as a houseless fëa for eternity, a perfume as tempting as mulled wine on a midwinter night. He reached out, and hair like watered silk ran through his fingers. 

Just a lovely coming together at last- and the depth of emotion.

And I love this crescendo of feelings and thoughts and sorrow just suddenly resolving into one sense:

And something broke. Like a man caught by an undertow, he was swept into a tumult of pain: Gil-galad's, Maglor's and then others, the Fëanorion brothers at their father's death, spiked by Maedhros's torture in Angband, joined by Fingon's, Fingolfin's shattering at his knowledge of Fëanor's death, Fëanor's mad fury at Finwë's murder, and the awful realisation of his own fate: trapped in the Everlasting Dark, helpless, while his sons carried the Oath he had bound them to. With them, incomprehensibly, was Vanimórë, and Tindómion had never truly known what his life was, could not have imagined it. Agony of mind and soul eviscerated him, and he became one with it, poured it into Edenel's desperate need....And it touched power, ancient, dark, vast. There were no words for it, only the screams of those broken under its hammer. 

 

And then, in the depths of it, the Dark was challenged. There was defiance, love, there was pride, blazing, unconquerable. It was Edenel, it was all of them, swords cast from nothing but sheer bloody-minded will. On the far edge of it Tindómion felt, at last, Edenel allow himself release. Only then did he, with Gil-galad sharing every pulse, let his own body surge into orgasm. 

So finally they know as well who Edanel is. This is spectacular stuff.

 



Author's Response: Oh, I wish I could, Ziggy!

Thank you for liking it :) I am glad it all came together well for you - and them :)


Name: Encairion (Signed) · Date: September 03, 2016 17:51 · For: Chapter 70 ~ A Spring Night In Imladris ~

Everyone now is operating from a 'We just don't know' mindset, rather than a 'We know 'cause we've read it'. This is definitely a very dangerous time for Van, but we know he gets through it - just no-one else does at the moment!”

Thank you for explaining this!  It makes a lot more sense now.  I forget how brief a time the Elves have known Van, and, really, how little they know about him at this point.  I can totally see how Feanor was trying to figure him out now throughout that whole scene.  I had noticed how he seemed to be watching him and paying a lot of attention to him during the scene, which was another thing I hadn’t understood.  Not that Van doesn’t deserve attention, but with Maglor in the room, I was just surprised Feanor spent so much time observing Van.  But now that whole scene makes a lot more sense.  As does what came after.  I can easily see Feanor saying that to Van as a way of testing him, seeing what Van would do.

I want to apologize too if my first review came off as criticizing of how you were writing the characters (I’d wished after I re-read is with your reply that I’d changed my wording a bit.  I wrote it in the passion of the moment lol).  You know I love this story and would never presume to tell you how to write your characters.  This chapter just gave me a strong reaction (which is a good thing!), and I was confused about what Feanor’s motivations were.  Thank you again for explaining them!  



Author's Response: I want to apologize too if my first review came off as criticizing of how you were writing the characters

I didn't think that at all, or I didn't mind :) It's difficult to understand how people behave sometimes. I think Fëanor was acting as a High King would: we don't know this man, except from what Glorfindel says, Maglor has hardly said anything at all about him. He saved Maglor's life, but he's Sauron's son with the power of a god and extremely dangerous.
I think too, that Fëanor does see that Van does not want pity, the 'I'm so sorry for how you've been used all your life' (Although I am sure Fëanor is sorry). And being Fëanor, he is extremely attracted to Van, but he can also see what's 'gone' from him and left a hole that could easily fill with something far more dangerous.


Name: ziggy (Signed) · Date: September 02, 2016 23:36 · For: Chapter 71 ~ The Past Has No Ending ~

Poor creature. Did anyone love her, I wonder?” 

 

“Thou couldst, I think.” 

 

“What?” It took the breath from him. He regathered it with difficulty. It burnt into his lungs. “Didst thou not hear me when I said that I would never compound the pain of their memories?” 

 

“I heard thee, and thou didst not torment them. Yes, thou wert born of rape, but thou art innocent.” 

 

“For thousands of years I served the one who raped her. I never even tried to avenge her. Innocent? I think not!” Vanimórë felt too tight for his flesh, as if it would split and crack and all his pain, the anger would burst forth, unhuman, formless, nothing but emotion that could not be contained. He even stepped back, lest Fingolfin be harmed by it as he wrestled with the long scream that rang from his birth to this moment, and could never be voiced lest it drive him into madness. Dark pits deep under Angband or Barad-dûr, where a thing that had once been a man sat in his own waste, half-bald, rags rotting off his body, scrabbling to eat the spiders that crawled on the damp walls. He did not know what he had been or what he was, and that was the only mercy. 

He had forgotten for a moment, who Fingolfin was, what he was, that his life had been shaped by fire, by passion. His hands caught Vanimórë's shoulders holding him, arresting the rush toward destruction. He could see his reflection in the black centers of those blue-white eyes, the dark corona around him, violet tinged with red. Fëanor was right: without desire, Vanimórë was too perilous; there was nothing to channel his energies into save hate and grief. 


Oh- this chapter! So thoughtful and provocative. Exploring the whole notion of guilt and blame, of victimhood. And the guilt that comes of that.
Hendunar is a really GOOD character- very three dimensional and 'whole' even though he has endured hell. I hope we have more of him!

The moon drifted west, illuminating the white froth of the waterfalls above the sleeping valley. Or mostly asleep. 
This is a beautiful image!
Oh- and Elgalad in his full knowledge of himself IS a revelation.  (But I do have to keep going back and re-reading bits because I forget- have the memory of a sieve:)
Wonderful, evocative writing.

Author's Response: Aww, thank you, Ziggy. I didn't intentionally set out to explore self-blame and victimhood, but it seemed to go that way regardless.
I like Hedúnar too, and yes, we will see more of him, if not now in the next story.

Oh- and Elgalad in his full knowledge of himself IS a revelation. (But I do have to keep going back and re-reading bits because I forget- have the memory of a sieve:)

Lol, the length of this series, let alone this fic I am amazed anyone reads it or remembers anything, to be honest!


Name: PoppyMarie (Signed) · Date: September 01, 2016 6:52 · For: Chapter 71 ~ The Past Has No Ending ~

Oh my, this chapter was foreboding and heartbreaking, there is so much to say, so I guess I'll start at the beginning. I'm glad the Kahdakhir made it to Imladris, they are so interesting and the point where they mentioned being able to hurt Dana with the blade Sauron forged was thought provoking, that maybe she never faced him because she wasn't sure she could win. 

 

Vanimórë's encounter with Fingolfin was beautifully done, it showcased Fingolfin's strength for keeping balance. He has a grounding presence, the fire and unearthly beauty of the line of Finwe, but with an unyielding steadiness underneath. The way he reaches out and tries to counsel Vanimórë and ultimately stoping the madness from taking hold of him, is powerful. If only Van would listen to him! He is innocent, and yet to reflect on his past is to open the door to so much pain, I can see why he never thinks about it,or even acknowledges it.  And Fëanor is right, without the passion and desire, Vanimórë is terrifying, this chapter more than ever it feels one second away from disaster. 

 

Elgalad's perspective now that it has been revealed makes the tone of this chapter more foreboding than before, there is only this one universe, this one chance to get things right. Coldagnir went willingly to spy on Melkor then? This adds a new element for him. And Elgalad saying that Vanimórë is a sacrifice! No! I just have a terrible feeling that this means even more pain for him at the end, I can't deal with all the tragedy that I feel is coming. :(

 

I am glad that Vanimórë went to see Hendunar though, I feel like it was needed closure for them both, and their shared pain and grief hit me hard, this whole chapter did. I hope they interact more at another time, and there is still Van's mother, who I am sure he will have to face eventually. 

 

This chapter gave me so much to think on, I might end up leaving another review because I'm sure I'll find more to say. Thank you for the amazing writing, and also for taking time to reply to all of the reviews you get. It's really cool as a reader to hear from the author :) you are awesome!

 




Author's Response: I'm glad the Kahdakhir made it to Imladris, they are so interesting and the point where they mentioned being able to hurt Dana with the blade Sauron forged was thought provoking, that maybe she never faced him because she wasn't sure she could win.

I think yes - she wasn't sure she could win against Sauron, so she avoided him. He was, after all, far more accustomed to war and used his own powers all the time, whereas she didn't - he had more practice if you like.

Vanimórë's encounter with Fingolfin was beautifully done, it showcased Fingolfin's strength for keeping balance. He has a grounding presence, the fire and unearthly beauty of the line of Finwe, but with an unyielding steadiness underneath. The way he reaches out and tries to counsel Vanimórë and ultimately stoping the madness from taking hold of him, is powerful. If only Van would listen to him! He is innocent, and yet to reflect on his past is to open the door to so much pain, I can see why he never thinks about it,or even acknowledges it. And Fëanor is right, without the passion and desire, Vanimórë is terrifying, this chapter more than ever it feels one second away from disaster.

I think Vanimórë's interaction here was very different to his interaction with Fëanor, who was trying to 'push' him in a sense, whereas Fingolfin was trying to 'ground' him. But both were right in their way. One day, Vanimórë will have to face all this, or it will be forced upon him, and I think he knows that, just as he does realise that without his passion he is too dangerous.

Elgalad's perspective now that it has been revealed makes the tone of this chapter more foreboding than before, there is only this one universe, this one chance to get things right. Coldagnir went willingly to spy on Melkor then? This adds a new element for him. And Elgalad saying that Vanimórë is a sacrifice! No! I just have a terrible feeling that this means even more pain for him at the end, I can't deal with all the tragedy that I feel is coming. :(

There were some of the 'gods' - a very few - who agreed to serve Melkor to spy on him or maybe even influence him, but Melkor was too strong, and like Coldganir, they forgot what they'd been. Elgalad had to 'wake' Coldagnir then then (one assumes) told him to say absolutely nothing and continue to play his part. Because he's already performed one action that will lead to what happens to Vanimórë. (Which won't be until the last story)

When I posted the beginnings of Magnificat IV, we do see Móriel, and so yes, she will meet Van eventually!

Thank you again for reviewing, and I am glad that the chapters give you something to think of :) I appreciate your reviews so much!


Name: Encairion (Signed) · Date: August 31, 2016 23:50 · For: Chapter 70 ~ A Spring Night In Imladris ~

So I was thinking some more about Van’s potential to become Sauron, and I remembered that episode in Dark Prince when Sauron captures Elgalad and takes him to Moria.  Van was VERY cold and calculating then.  And of course there is the truth that in so many worlds Van ended up becoming a Dark Lord/God.  So, the potential is there, yes.  But I still don’t think that Van’s loss of desires is enough to push him towards the edge.  I think it would take something like Elgalad dying.  Van has to feel like there is nothing left for him, no reason to continue fighting against the hate inside him.  He has to come to the place where he gives up, gives into the hate, and I don’t think he’d do that as he is now even after what Dana did to him.  He still has too many reasons to keep fighting the hate with the goodness inside him.

 

When I think of Suaron, even with the coldness Van is expressing now, there is still a huge gap between them, and I see it in the way they view/act with people.  To Sauron, other people are but chess pieces on his game to power/fulfilling his desires.  He does not take into consideration other human beings feelings other then how he can use them to his benefit.  People are just toys to him.  Van is the opposite.  Even when Van went cold when he was trying to trap Sauron in Moria and pretty much played a game with Elagad as the piece in the middle, he didn’t view Elgalad as expendable.  I think he didn’t allow himself to think too deeply about what he was putting Elgalad through, but….I don’t know.  Even this episode where he comes the closest to being his father, he still feels different from Sauron……but it has been a long time since I read that, so maybe I am misremembering?  Maybe I have blinded myself to a major component to Van’s character?  Seeing all his compassion and not seeing all the places he goes cold?  Maybe.  It’s not like I don’t know he’s tortured people to death, but…..when I think about, for instance, that Mortal rapist he impaled, even that act was done out of fury on behalf of the victims.  It wasn’t just out of hate like Morgoth, or because it was amusing like Sauron.



Author's Response: But I still don’t think that Van’s loss of desires is enough to push him towards the edge. I think it would take something like Elgalad dying. Van has to feel like there is nothing left for him, no reason to continue fighting against the hate inside him. He has to come to the place where he gives up, gives into the hate, and I don’t think he’d do that as he is now even after what Dana did to him. He still has too many reasons to keep fighting the hate with the goodness inside him.

Oh, you're right. This wouldn't be enough, but he does not know that and nor would any-one else (except Elgalad). At this moment though, when he's fairly new to his powers, it is dangerous, because he's so conflicted. He thinks right now that he can't have Elgalad, and if he does, he'll eventually suck him dry and kill him, and so it would be better if he never regained his desires. But he knows he will. He's also furious and yes, wounded by Dana, what she said of him and to him, and rocked by the knowledge that he looks like some-one who could have been his father.

We know, because of the later stories, that this does not tip him over the edge, but no-one else does, at this time, even Elgalad. Nothing is certain. And the later stories, 30-odd years and more in the future, Vanimórë does actually become much 'darker' without going over the edge, which is maybe more dangerous than anything, because he was extremely calculating in when he was trapping Sauron and allowing Elgalad to be mistreated. And there's no getting away from the fact that he did know what was happening and although he hated it, judged it was worth it. He began to very much follow in Sauron's path around that time. Elgalad's 'death' - that was the real test though, and as it was he didn't fall apart or become consumed, but it was extremely close.

Everyone now is operating from a 'We just don't know' mindset, rather than a 'We know 'cause we've read it'. This is definitely a very dangerous time for Van, but we know he gets through it - just no-one else does at the moment!


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