Oh I was so excited to see an update of this story, and it didn't disappoint. It's so rich and detailed, it feels like there's a backstory to everyone.
Oh, Findarato, so naughty, who knew :)
Elenwe certainly seems to have found herself, too.
Kano's conversation with his father was touching. Kano seems to be having lots of uncomfortable conversations; everyone seems far more disbelieving and disappointed in him rather than angry; or angry with themselves and not with him, which I guess is harder to deal with.
Also, Arafinwe, awesome. I've always thought of him as the mild one-not so here :D
So interested to see where all this is leading- how will we get to the final denouement? I'm guessing something to do with that creep, Atanalcar? Certainly has a big grudge.
And what is Kano up to?
Please don't make me wait as long for the next installment :D
Sorry for disjointed, rubbish review! Someone is distracting me!!
Author's Response: It did take forever to update, but the other updates should not :-) I have to admit that I like to read and write about a naughtier Findarato. Something must have been there after all to make him desire to leave :-) Arafinwe is certainly not mild-mannered here, though I do think at the ends of the day he is more level-headed. Do you have a little one distracting you? That's always a good thing. Thanks for the review. It's always good to read encouraging reviews!
Faerie has been refusing to let me leave a review for this chapter! Well at least I got to reread this, so double the pleasure.
I liked the flashbacks, and the contrast between the light, simple joy of the past with the complicated burdens of the present. And I liked the theme of the dancing. It seems only Elenw
Super. I am so drawn in to your world, your delightful but flawed Fingon.
Anaire's recation was interesting, I look forward to reading the resolution of that talk.
Oh, I wasn't expecting Maitimo to be there. 'He wasn't alone in the bedchamber'. I thought this was going to be Irisse, I think my heart skipped a beat! What a heart rending couple they always are, Maitimo and Findekano. Your relationships, even from not many words, show such reality and depth. I like how you use the elves' different names to show different levels of formality/closeness/feelings.
You said this was unbeta'd but I didn't notice any glaring mistakes, perhaps a few missing commas? One thing was when Kano puts his hands on Elenwe's waste, I think he'd prefer to put them on her waist :D
Thanks for introducing me to the poem: it's lovely.
Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback! I certainly don't think Kano wants to put his hands on her waste, yuck, lol! I tend to do that with homonyms and can't see the difference :/ And commas? Oi vei, my bane! I am glad the relationship between Maitimo and Findekano worked. Its challenging for me to balance between the human aspects of my characters and the more evlish ones. How do we even begin to conceive of elvish psychology? Thanks again, reviews feed my muses!
Gorgeous chapter. At first fun and ribald with the kind of saucy remarks and entertainment that reminds me of 18th c England. The private, if not the public face, anyway!
And the second half ... wow, no words. Beautifully written, desire, emotion, conflict. Your characterisations are wonderful. If Irisse knows, Amarie and Ingo surely too, then secrets wont be secrets all that long.
Author's Response: Thank you Merin! I was trying to achieve that type of atmosphere and I am glad it was successful in the context of Aman. It seems secrets are hard to keep in elven society, but what they do with it, now that's where things get interesting. Thank you for reading and commenting :-)
Enjoying this so far. I like the cameraderie between Kano and Ingo and the glimpses of Elven society in Valinor. The differences between Vanyarin and Noldorin culture and the mention of the women's movement are especially interesting.
Hm, Elenwe wants it, Turukano wont give it... can I see where this is going?
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed this chapter! I appreciate the review!
I am enjoying this intersting and rather AU take, fadestothewest. I like the way you are writing Kano, and the backdrop of Tirion is very rich with its stratefied society. Elenwe has certainly made me raise my eyebrows! and I htink your female characters are great- very intersting and strong, especially Irrise, and now Almariel- who I would rather like to marry Turgon instead of Elenwe, who should marry Kano (but where does that leave Maitimo- who has a rather complex relationship with kano - loves him, is jelaous of his having been with a woman and then thinks no more of it...that's something I'm looking forward to understanding a bit better - very complex.)
The lore that you are working out here is also very interesting and I Like the use of the Halda as a way of conveying that- I'm looking forward to reading more of that.
There are a lot of different points of view going on in this, and I admit I did find it a little confusing sometimes (probalby in the last couple of chapters more than the earlier) but the ideas and the sense of anticipation make it well worth the reading and hte female characters are really good.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I appreciate the feedback. I am going to revisit those last chapters where the points of view get a bit confusing, maybe sort them out a bit more explicitly. Its nice to get this kind of feedback as it definitely helps my writing! I can get a bit carried away with all the characters voices in my head!
I am hoping this os going to continue- I think there shoudk def be a Maitimo/Findekano moment up ahead!!
Author's Response: It certainly is continuing. There is Maitimo/Findekano here, though tame, for now. Thanks for the review.